Barber Shop Ink Book 5: Davan Part 2

By Penny Blush

I met the man of my dreams at a friend of a friend's wedding.

It was everything I didn't know I wanted in a man, tall, tattooed, bossy.

His life is complicated. Married with a daughter. But things are not as they seem.

I didn't want to love him. He kept trying to push me away but like a moth to the flame I kept being drawn to him.

I love him with all my heart, he is my life.

Life is complicated, love even more so.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Penny Blush
• Release date: Jun 24, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393620891

Penny Blush

My name is Penny Blush, I love all things book and book related. I’m hoping that the people who make the James Bond movies will call me to ask to use my name as the next Bond Girl *Fingers Crossed* When I’m not hoping for the Bond people to contact me, I usually can be found with my nose in a book getting lost in a story or thinking about stories I would like to write. I’m Australian, I love to sing, and Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I believe in magic, fairies, the power of the universe and that everything happens for a reason. Basically, I’m a crazy person, and I’m ok with that. At least my life is not boring! Author Links Author Page:  https://www.facebook.com/PennyBlushAuthor   Reader Group: www.facebook.com/groups/1068654519902946 Instagram:www.instagram.com/pennyblushauthor Pinterest: https://au.pinterest.com/pennyblush/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/pennyblushbooks Goodreads:www.goodreads.com/author/show/17139863.Penny_Blush

Book preview

Prologue

Do you ever wake up thinking, today will be a great day I can just feel it?

You wake up and your buzzing. Your body is full of tingling anticipation. You smile but you don’t know why, and you can’t stop. You’re so happy you feel like you can take on the world.

This morning when I woke, that was how I felt.

Even though I was woken by a text from Emmaline saying she thought she may need to go to the hospital, I still had this feeling that today would be spectacular; one to remember.

My phone beeped, rousing me from my dreams. A lifetime in the military had me conditioned to be a light sleeper. I discharged almost two years ago so my reflex, my instinct to go from being dead asleep to wide awake within seconds had lessened, but my awareness of what was happening around me didn’t.

I made my way up through the depths of sleep to find Seraphina asleep on my chest, the mass of her flame red hair framing her angelic face. This was how I wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of my life, in bed with her. I sighed contentedly hugging her to my chest, gliding a hand up and down her back.

When I first met Seraphina, I had this feeling. A feeling much like the one I woke with today. It was a tingling anticipation that crept across my skin making the hairs on my arms stand on end. At the time I did not recognise what that feeling was.

My soul knew what it was.

My body knew what it was.

My heart knew what it was.

But my mind refused to acknowledge it.

I had found my soulmate.

Stupidly, I was still fighting it.

Seraphina was the one for me, but things were complicated. I wouldn’t let myself take things any further, not while I remained married to Emmaline. In the meantime, we had to put up with the PG13 muted version of an adult relationship. Kissing, over the clothing touching, a little tasting. Everything but sex. Everything but what we both wanted; needed.

Any other woman would have walked away by now. Not wanting to put up with my moody ass, or the fact that I have a kid, that I am happy to crawl into bed with her, kiss her touch her, give her mind-blowing orgasms but there would be no sex. But the thing that would have had any other woman turning tail and heading for the hills was mentioning that I have a wife.

Emmaline and I are best friends and we love each other but we are not in love. We got married because we have a kid. We have a kid because she got sick and pregnancy might help with the endometriosis symptoms. We had a plan. We would stay married for two years and then we would divorce; our hearts were never involved in the marriage, anyway.

Emmaline didn’t have endometriosis. No, she had cancer.

By the time I met Seraphina, Emmaline had exhausted all treatment options. Our plans changed. As much as EJ demanded I divorce her, I refused to be the bastard who divorced his dying wife.

It may not be a conventional relationship, but it was ours. There were no secrets, between Seraphina and I. There were no lies. EJ and Seraphina knew about one another and had even become friends.

Everything was working out the way I hoped it would.

Despite the text from EJ saying she thought she might need to go to the hospital, I still felt it. Hope.

Yep, today would be a good day.

I left Seraphina asleep in her bed and headed home to check on EJ.

Hey Captain, how are you feeling? I whispered walking into EJ’s bedroom.

Like ten tons of crap in a five-pound bag, she groaned in replied.

I turned on the overhead light and swore under my breath.

Jesus, EJ, how long have you been like this? She was shaking, drenched in sweat and her skin looked grey. Why didn’t you call me before now?

I didn’t want to... to worry you. I thought I could handle it. Obviously not, she chuckled, shivering.

What’s bugging you the most?

Everything, she smirked.

Emmaline, I spoke her name like a warning. She was in pain and feeling like shit, now was not the time to play games.

The pain. The pain is the worst.

Emmaline was now at the stage in her illness where nothing would cure her. The only thing the doctors could offer was palliative care. I went to the little bar fridge beside her dresser to get the vials of medication. I gave her an injection of morphine for the pain and some metoclopramide to ease her nausea.

We’ll give that a few minutes to work, but if it doesn’t give you any relief, you're off to hospital, okay Kid? No arguments, I informed her as I filled out her medication log.

She didn’t argue. Right then I knew she was so much worse than she was saying. It didn’t take long for the medication to take effect. The shakes dying down; the pain backing off as the medicine did its job. After a while EJ decided she felt better, and all she wanted was a cool bath to ease the heat from her sweaty skin.

I ran the bath, helped her out of her nightclothes and into the soothing water. I have been caring for EJ for so long that seeing her naked didn’t faze me. What did, was seeing my once fit and curvy friend, looking skeletal and emaciated. I changed the sheets on her bed before walking back into the bathroom handing her a bottle of ginger beer with a bendy straw sticking out of the top. I sat on the floor, with my back resting against the tub keeping her company.

How are you feeling now?

Better. Thanks, Dav, she replied sipping her drink.

Don’t wait so long to contact me next time, okay. You know you can call me anytime day or night. No matter what.

Dav, you were with Pia, I didn’t want to disturb whatever you had going on.

Sleeping, EJ. That’s what was going on, sleeping. If you want to know juicy details just ask but prepare to be disappointed because there is nothing going on. I sighed stuffing a towel behind my back trying to get more comfortable.

Davan, why are you doing this to yourself? To her?! I am begging you, for the love of God will you fuck her already!

Don’t talk about her like that, I growled.

Stop growling at me like an angry lion. I’m not saying treat her like a whore. What I am saying is that each romantic relationship has a natural progression towards sex. You guys hit that milestone a decade and a half ago! If it was me, I would have told you to get stuffed and found someone else by now.

Then it’s a good thing you’re not her.

Amen, brother, she replied, splashing water at the back of my head. Seriously though, what’s holding you back? I mean, I know why in the beginning, but you two have been together forever, even when you didn’t want to admit it, so what’s the problem.

That was a good fucking question.

I changed the subject, and we talked more before EJ tired. I helped her out of the bath, into a clean set of PJs’ and into bed.

In the beginning it was because I didn’t know if there was anything.... Real, between Pia and me, I said answering her earlier question. It’s been four years since I’ve been with anyone. I didn’t want to...

Just have a random shag, EJ supplied.

Exactly, I didn’t want to have a random shag and then have her walk away. I mean I’d already gone without sex for that long, I could wait a little longer. To be sure.

Okay, I get that, but why are you still waiting? I mean she’s your girlfriend, after all.

Is she? I questioned, thumping the pillow making it more comfortable.

Dav, you’re the only one who doesn’t call Seraphina your girlfriend, EJ sighed rolling her eyes at me. You’ve been with her for over six months, you sleep over at her house. I’m assuming you share the same bed. You call her to make sure she has locked the house up at night.

So?

Oh my God, you are such a boy.

I thought back over everything that had happened with Seraphina. The way she accepted me, the way I am. The way she has accepted my relationship with EJ. She loves my kid and Tilly loves her. The way she has been accepted by my family and friends.

Oh crap.

I love her.

Shit, I guess she is my girlfriend.

About bloody time, EJ giggled, trying to keep her excitement down as to not wake Matilda. Have you told her how you feel?

No.

Why the hell not?

Because it never felt like the right time.

Oh, for fuck...

Oww, shit EJ, what the hell? I asked as she hit me with a pillow. It would seem the medication and talking about my love life has given her an energy boost. Davan Christopher Riverworth, stop waiting for the right time, the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect. Life is too short Dav, and love, true love, is rare. Once you find it grab it with both hands and never let go, her tone had become serious. What is it you’re waiting for? My blessing? For me to tell you it’s okay. It is Davan, it’s okay. You have my blessing if I wasn’t dying, we would have divorced by now and there would be nothing holding you to your stupid vow.

It’s not a stupid vow. Marriage is not stupid, I huffed.

I’m not saying marriage is stupid, I’m saying that ours is. Our marriage holds the same significance as little kids who get married on the playground. Our marriage is only legal because logistically it made sense. Do this for me, please Davan.

You want me to have sex.... For you? I asked, giving her a confused look. I knew what she was saying but her tone was serious again and I wanted to lighten the mood.

"Yes Dav, I want you to have sex for me, she said sarcastically. No, you idiot. I want you to fall in love. Be loved. Tell her you love her. Don’t you see, I will never have another first kiss, feel the excited anticipation of being touched by a lover for the first time. Knowing the thrill of having sex with a new person, but you can. So please, please do that for me, experience that for me; wring every last bit of joy out of life for me," she said on a choked sob.

Okay, EJ. Okay, I promised pulling her to me, hugging her as tightly as her fragile body would allow. I Promise.

It didn’t take long before EJ calmed. Resting her head on my chest.

Tell her tonight, EJ mumbled, exhaustion taking over. "Tell her you love her, let her know she is your girlfriend. Don’t make her wait to hear the words."

The thought of doing just that, of telling Seraphina how I feel. Telling her I finally felt that we were - that I was - in the right place in our relationship to go all in had me grinning and a heavyweight of worry lifted.

EJ fell asleep in my arms and slept peacefully. It was probably the most peaceful sleep she’d had in a long time. When she woke, she had more energy than I’d seen her with and even managed to eat more than just dry toast for breakfast.

Today would be a good day.

Seraphina come over to spend the day with EJ going through the story she was editing. Around lunchtime I walked into the apartment to find the girls laughing and having fun.

Then there was the elevator.

Oh, my fucking God the elevator!

I don’t think I will ever be able to go in there again without seeing Seraphina naked begging me to make her cum.

Today had been a great day.

Until it wasn’t.

Chapter 1 Jupiter

Today had been a great day.

Tilly, Memphis and I had a blast at the park playing. Tilly and I had so much fun watching Memphis monkey around on the play-equipment, which was comical as his feet still touched the ground.

My man is a giant.

We came back to Davan’s place. Memphis, Jax and Davan had gone to the gym to get in a quick workout before we had dinner together. I would never have thought a mere eighteen months ago I would sit down to dinner with my brother; let alone my brother and his family.

I had hoped by now Memphis and I would be adding to our family. God, I hope that it will happen soon. I just have to cross my fingers and anything else I can that there will be a little bundle of joy in our future. I cannot wait to be able to tell everyone that I’m pregnant. It means the world to me that my brother will be here to share in our happiness. We have been trying for a baby from the moment we got married.

It’s taking longer than either of us thought.

The car accident I was in that killed my parents, left me with one ovary and one kidney. I had to keep an eye on my health because of my one kidney. Before we got married and after all the crap in London, I went to the doctor for a full workup to make sure I hadn’t suffered any further damage and to have a battery of fertility tests. The doctors said it was possible for me to have a baby, but my health would have to be monitored closely.

Memphis and I thought one of two things would happen, either we would get pregnant straight away or it would take forever. The doctors said the chance of me falling pregnant without help was small, but it could happen. Memphis and I gave it twelve months before deciding to talk to the doctors about medical intervention. That was the plan, then Davan came home with Emmaline and Tilly. Then EJ slowly got worse and my inability to fall pregnant wasn’t that important. I felt like there were bigger things to deal with than us having a baby.

So, we keep trying. Practice makes perfect right?

I don’t know why but I have a feeling deep in my bones it will happen; we just have to be patient. I can’t wait to meet the precious little bundle that will be a perfect mix of Memphis and me. I swear I can feel my uterus clench every time I think of Memphis cradling a tiny pink, squishy newborn in his massive arms. I can see him, sleeping bare chested, with our baby curled up like a little koala on his chest.

I want a baby.

I want that for him, for us.

I want it so badly.

My hand rubbed longingly over my stomach that was flat as a board. One day. One day I will stand like this rubbing my swollen belly, feeling the life we created moving inside me.

Just don’t wait too long little one.

Hey, Aunty Jupe, Tilly interrupted my thoughts.

Yes, honey.

How come I don’t have any cousins?

Well, because Memphis and I haven’t made any yet, I replied wondering if she had heard my thoughts.

Don’t you want to make me a cousin? She asked looking up from where she was sitting at the kitchen bench colouring in.

I want to give you a cousin so, so much.

Good, because I need people to play with. There are no kids in this family.

Well, make sure to tell Memphis how much you want to have other kids to play with and we’ll see what we can do, I said kissing her cheek. Matilda, if I was to have a baby, would you want a girl cousin or a boy cousin? I asked watching as she put her crayon down her little brow creasing in thought.

I think I want a girl cousin first because there are too many boys, but then a boy cousin.

A girl cousin then a boy cousin. Right, well make sure to tell Memphis your order, I laughed turning back to the stove.

Aunty Jupe.

Yes Matilda Rose.

Do you think Daddy will give me a brother or sister? I know Mumma can’t because her baby maker is broken. Do you think if I ask Daddy that maybe he can give me one? Maybe he could ask Pia, maybe she can grow a baby for us.

I umm...

I didn’t know how to answer her. I didn’t know how to respond. It would seem Tilly has caught on to more than anyone realised. I know my brother. I know he has thought about making a life with Seraphina. I know that in the quiet hours he has also thought about having more children. Because I know my brother as well as I do; I know he has beaten himself up for having such thoughts.

Dinner was almost ready; Emmaline and Tilly normally ate at the same time because EJ would tire quickly. The boys would be up after they have finished working out and showered, then we would eat together. EJ would join us on the couch if she felt up to it.

Tilly honey can you please ask mumma if she wants to come out here for dinner or if she wants us to go in and have dinner with her? I asked distracting her from questions I couldn’t answer.

Okay Aunty Jupe, she put down her colouring-in running off down the hallway her little feet thundering on the floorboards.

I finished plating up their dinner, cutting both meals into manageable sizes for each of them. Although Tilly is still is too little to cut her own food and the simple act of cutting her food was exhausting for EJ. I didn’t mind; I love my sister-in-law and anything I can do to make her life a little easier, I will do it.

What did she say Little Bug? Is she coming out or are we going in with her to have a picnic?

I don’t know. I didn’t ask her, she whispered climbing up on to a stool at the bench resting her chin on her hands.

Why not? Is Mumma asleep?

Aunty Jupe, Mumma won’t wake up, she said sadly.

What do you mean Tilly? Dread settled in my stomach.

I called her name, but she didn’t wake up, so I climbed up on the bed and shook her. But she must be really tired because she didn’t wake up.

Oh Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.

Please God no.

Okay honey, you stay here and wash up for dinner. I’ll go check on Mumma.

I walked around the bench giving Tilly a kiss on the top of