PumpkinEater: Maven Fairy Godmother, #3

By Charlotte Henley Babb

Three fractured fairy tales for grownups with the inimitable Maven Fairy Godmother: Kiss of the Kudzu, Beans, and PumpkinEater. The client is always right, even when she isn't, so Maven does her best to get the client the happily ever after that she wants, even when she makes a very unwise wish. Sometimes despite Maven's best efforts, the client gets what she deserves...what she asked for.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Charlotte Henley Babb
• Release date: May 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463188798

Charlotte Henley Babb

Upstate South Carolina is a great place to live with the fae among the ferns and sassafras in the red clay, and Charlotte Babb listens as they spin their yarns in her ears and her hair. It's only the mundane who can't see the castles in the air, but think of them only as dust bunnies and cobwebs.  Visit her at http://charlottehenleybabb.com

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Also by Charlotte Henley Babb

Maven Fairy Godmother

Fairy Catmother

Maven's Fractured Fairy Tales

Adventures of Silicon Jones (mature readers)

Just a Smidgen of Magic

Walking off Heaven's Shore

In the Still Midwinter

20 Hours to Charles Town

COPYRIGHT © 2015 CHARLOTTE Henley Babb

All rights reserved. ISBN: 9780463188798

Publisher: Charlotte Henley Babb

Cover Artwork © 2015 by Charlotte Henley Babb

Edition: July 2018

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission in writing from author.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Dedication

To Women of a Certain Age everywhere

Who know who they are and who they are becoming?

Acknowledgments

The usual gang of suspects: Bruce Cannon

Donna Hammett Misty Massey Jeff Mullen Holly McClure Phil Ross

Richard Spencer Roger Stevens Patti Thomas Rachel White

Christopher Wilkerson

Kiss of the Kudzu

Chapter 1

SURROUNDED BY THE IMPLEMENTS of mass cuisine, heaped high in the cavernous kitchen after yesterday’s feast, Maven, fairy godmother, turned her back to the banked embers of a huge fireplace. Shivering, she forced herself to relax, loosening any muscle that would loosen, searching for the dark warmth of slumber. Sleep did not come, and her mind raced like channel surfing through a million movies, all of which eventually came to show her standing alone amidst swarming crowds. Even surrounded by the many guests, and her two fairy godmother friends, sleeping not ten feet away, she was alone.

Her first week on the job had brought both her and Faery near the brink of extinction, and the morning – probably already today – would be accompanied by some type of retribution. She needed sleep to face her boss Fiona, Fairy Godmother Superior. She dragged her gossamer tighter around her chubby body and willed her mind to clear as she took a breath, deep and slow, and then released it. She knew if she did enough deep breathing, she'd have a hot flash and get warm, which might throw her into the throes of Morpheus.

Frigid air touched her cheek. Another chill flowed past her with a slight moan. She stretched the gossamer over her head, making it thick and plush. She breathed again, keeping her eyes closed.

The stone of the hearth shifted under her, dumping her on the floor. Maven rolled over, twisting into a ball like a cat, turning the gossamer into something now resembling more of a large fur pelt. Before she could resume snoozing, her wand, now poking against her hipbone, vibrated.

It's still dark. What does she want now? Squirming to free her wand, Maven held it to her ear expecting a summons from the Fiona, Fairy Godmother Superior, who had ordered her to report in the morning – surely still a few hours away. The buzz was not from Fiona.

In the echoing halls of the Palace, sounded a wail, like a baby far away prepping its lungs for a blood-curdling yowl of angry despair.

The wand oscillated with the sound, writhing out of her fingers. As she reached for it, it slithered, snake-like, towards the back door.

Maven clambered to her feet to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She spoke to the embers glowing softly in the fireplace. Please make me a cup of coffee.

The embers dimmed, and a mug appeared on the hearth, heavy mug full of a black liquid as cold and bitter as a jilted snow queen's heart.

She took a sip and shuddered.

The Palace was pissed about something. It had never made bad coffee before.

Her wand wriggled back to her and tapped on her foot. She bent over, careful not to spill the coffee, which might damage the stone floor, and picked up the wand. The wand stopped squirming, and hissing, when she put it in her pocket.

The back door of the kitchen swung open to pre-dawn darkness.

Illuminated only by starlight, the Palace was ethereal, beautiful in a way that no architecture of any material could be built back in Mundane, but this was Faery. This Palace consisted of the magic of five fairy godmothers. Once the lair of a long-dead wizard, it had maintained itself for centuries by absorbing any magic performed on its premises, until yesterday, when the old spell was broken. Happy to have a new Queen, it aspired to an Art Nouveau sensibility, transforming itself from a gothic Castle into a perfect Palace for the new Queen and her mate.

Maven stirred her coffee with her wand, hoping she was far enough outside the Palace's magic-absorbing field to cast her favorite spell. When the cup warmed up, and the smell improved, she risked a sip. Drinkable, at least.

What would