Fingers to the Keyboard: 2017 - 2018

By Ben Bennetts

Here we go again; the third in the series of collected blogs, brought together, placed into topic categories, and published as an e-book under the general title Fingers to the Keyboard. This set, for the period 2017 - 2018, features the seventy-five blogs I published throughout the two year period. I’ve noticed a change in emphasis, however. English grammar, aids to writing, politics, bathroom products (a new topic), and movie reviews are all still strong but religion, royalty and mathematics are down. Perhaps I’ve said all I want to say about religion and I must be getting tired of stating that the British Royal family is a parasitic anachronism. The reduction in mathematics is more intriguing, though. Many of my earlier blogs on this topic were sparked off by mathematical questions my granddaughters asked me. Perhaps, they no longer need my help?

Be that as it may. This latest collection covers the gamut of writing styles; serious, humorous, self-deprecating, insightful and, in some cases, provocative. Please enjoy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ben Bennetts
• Release date: Dec 29, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463819449

Ben Bennetts

After retiring in December 2007 from a busy career as a consultant electronics engineer, I took up walking long-distance trails both in my home country (UK) and in other places such the Himalaya in Nepal, the Sierra Nevada in Spain, and the levadas in Madeira. These activities kept me physically fit. To stay mentally fit, I started a blog (https://ben-bennetts.com) and began writing books. To date (February 2021), I’ve published twenty-one books on topics as diverse as religion, winemaking, an erotic novel (using the pseudonym, J C Pascoe), two storybooks for children, various autobiographies, idiosyncrasies of the English language, long-distance walking, keeping fit as we age, how to create and self-publish either an ebook or a paperback book, a book of cartoons, and a series of blog collections. You can read more about the books on my website, ben-bennetts.com/books. The books are available as e-books on www.smashwords.com and in Amazon’s Kindle Store.Contact me at [e-mail]

Book preview

Fingers to the Keyboard, 2017 - 2018

Ben Bennetts

Summary

Here we go again; the third in the series of collected blogs, brought together, placed into topic categories, and published as an e-book under the general title Fingers to the Keyboard. This set, for the period 2017 - 2018, features the seventy-ish blogs I published throughout the two-year period. I’ve noticed a change in emphasis however. English grammar, aids to writing, politics, bathroom products (a new topic), new books published, and movie reviews are all still strong but religion, royalty and mathematics are down. Perhaps I’ve said all I want to say about religion and I must be getting tired of stating that the British Royal family is a parasitic anachronism. The reduction in mathematics is more intriguing, though. Many of my earlier blogs on this topic were sparked off by mathematical questions my granddaughters asked me. Perhaps, they no longer need my help?

Be that as it may, however. Please enjoy the collection and, as always, if you have any comments, e-mail me at [e-mail]

Copyright

Copyright © 2019, Ben Bennetts

Published by Atheos Books at Smashwords

This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment. The e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please buy an extra copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not buy it, or it was not bought for your use only, then please return to the retailer and buy your own copy. Thank you for respecting my hard work.

Every effort has been made to trace all copyright holders of material, textual and graphic, quoted or otherwise used in this book. Any omissions will be acknowledged and included in future editions if application is made in writing or by e-mail to the author.

ISBN 9780463819449

Front cover: author’s fingers on the keyboard, photographed by Mark Bennetts.

Acknowledgements

One again, I would like to acknowledge those who added comments to my blogs thus tempering my opinions and curbing my arrogance. I am suitably humbled! The comments also confirmed that some, at least, read my blogs!

Table of Contents

Pride of Place

New Books

Hard of Hearing

Politics/Current Affairs

Observations On Life

Miscellaneous

Movie Reviews

Health

Personal Stories

Aids To Writing

English Grammar

Computer/Internet Topics

Religion

Bathroom Products

Mathematics

Walking

The British Royal Family

Answers To Place Locations

Atheos Books

Pride of Place

This category only has one entry, but it’s unique and deserves pride of place at the start of the book.

Autumn, A Poem By Lottie Brandon

Posted 10 October, 2018

Lottie Brandon.

Poet and Author of Short Stories.

March 2018

My youngest granddaughter, Lottie, aged 10, has started writing what to me are amazingly creative literary works, full of imagination, evocative images and adjectival colour.   Recently (September 2018), she was asked to write a poem about nature using personification of non-human life forms or abstract notions - a tough brief for a 10-year-old.   Here is her un-aided result.  It was her idea to encapsulate the poem in the outline of an ivy leaf.

To help readability, I have set her poem in a similar ivy-leaf setting and used Lucida Calligraphy as the handwriting font.  Here it is:

I hope you enjoy Lottie’s poem as much as I did.  There’s more to come!

Lottie, and her older sister, Emilie, March 2018

And my all-time-greatest photograph of Lottie:

Swimming with the dolphins, Dubai, 2017

(^_^)

New Books

I published three new books during the period 2017 - 2018: Fingers to the Keyboard: 2015 - 2016, the predecessor to this book; The Dream Guardian, a story book for children; and The Mechanics of Creative Writing. Here are the announcements.

New Book: Fingers to the Keyboard: 2015 - 2016 Published

Posted 13 January, 2017

Two years ago, in January 2015, I started this blog website as an outlet for my rants, raves, outrageous opinions and general observations on life.  Two years later, January 2017, the website contained exactly one hundred blogs on a variety of topics— politics, religion, book and film reviews, English (and French) grammar, sport, mathematics, long-distance walking, British Royal Family, general moans and groans, and so on—and I decided to collect all the blogs, give them a polish where needed, group them into categories, add follower comments, and publish separately as an e-book.  Here it is: Fingers to the Keyboard: 2015 - 2016, formatted in MOBI (Kindle), EPUB (iPad and just about every other non-Amazon e-reader) and good old-fashioned PDF and available from Smashwords, priced at the ridiculous giveaway price of $3.99 per download.

The e-book is a follow-on to my earlier Fingers to the Keyboard: 2000 - 2014, also available on Smashwords, priced the same at $3.99.

(^_^)

New Book: The Dream Guardian Published

Posted 19 July, 2017

I've written a children's book, way different to any of my earlier books and quite a challenge to put together.   It is targeted at 8-years-old-ish and upwards readers and is based, in part, on the bedtime stories I used to tell my granddaughters Ella (now 18) and Georgia (almost 16) when they were much younger.  My two younger granddaughters, Emilie (11) and Lottie (9) missed out simply because they live in France and this was the motivation to write The Dream Guardian book.  Here's the summary of the book:

Grandpa is a storyteller.  He's also The Dream Guardian, charged with looking after hundreds of bottles of dreams, both happiness dreams and nightmares.  His grandchildren, Tommy and Nikki, often visit him to listen to a story and, in Tommy's case, learn how to become the new Dream Guardian when the time comes.  Listen to stories about hidden temples, a runaway dog, four-winged fairies, stag beetles, witches, Arthur (the original Dream Guardian), adventurous train journeys, and much more.  Plus, learn about a secret room, a secret book and map, and how to redream a bottled dream.

Each chapter in the book continues an on-going story wherein Grandpa tells Tommy about becoming the Dream Guardian and relates the history of how his great-great-great-great-great grandfather, Arthur, discovered the Dream Trappers followed by the Dream Makers and the Valley of the Dream Seeds after an epic journey through the jungle, across a desert, over a mighty river on a rickety suspension bridge, and finally by climbing up to the pass to get over a mountain.  Embedded in each chapter, however, is an unrelated story targeted at Tommy or his younger sister Nikki, or both.  As the book proceeds, so Grandpa introduces the two children to interactive What happens next? storytelling and, in the final chapter, Tommy and Nikki write and present their own story to Grandpa.  Along the way, the children learn about giraffes and evolution, negative numbers, how to construct a secret room in a house, animals with strange names, walking versus running in the rain, why the sky is blue, daydreaming and déjà vu, Nutella, how to find the exit in a maze and other puzzles, the origins of the Hasbro toy factory, Grandpa's love of dark-chocolate digestive biscuits, and much more interesting and eclectic stuff.  Here is the contents list:

Dedication

Frontispiece

Chapter 1: Bert the Stag Beetle

Chapter 2: The Secret Room in the Vicarage

Chapter 3: Anina and Dokki

Chapter 4: Arthur, the original Dream Guardian

Chapter 5: Stumpy the Heroic Pit Pony

Chapter 6: Arthur and the Hidden Temple

Chapter 7: Picketty Witch and the Dead Fish

Chapter 8: An Adventure on a Train

Chapter 9: Gilbert and the Leg-Growing Pills

Chapter 10: Terror in the Woods

Chapter 11: Susan and Skipper go to the Moon

Chapter 12: Arthur and the Dream Makers, Part 1

Chapter 13: Arthur and the Dream Makers, Part 2

Chapter 14: Susan, Donald, and Skipper return from the Moon (Nikki); Susan and Skipper return from the Moon (Tommy)

Chapter 15: Arthur and the Dream Makers, Part 3

Chapter 16: Dokki meets Kresh

Chapter 17: Arthur and the Dream Makers, Part 4

Chapter 18: Alf's story: a bricklayer's nightmare; Layla and her Dream:

Chapter 19: Petra the Puffin meets the Penguins

Chapter 20: What goes around, comes around

Puzzle Solutions (Ch. 16)

Unfamiliar Words

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Atheos Books

The Dream Guardian, is now available, both as a full-colour 195-page paperback and as an e-book.  The paperback version can be bought from Amazon, priced at $24.99 (circa £19.28/€21.82).  Gulp!  Yes, I know.  I have little control over the price and it's the use of colour images that has bumped it up to almost the £20 mark.  Colour images require higher quality paper but I have to say, the book looks and feels nice!  A decent Christmas stocking filler, I'd say; a gift for life!  (See footnote.)

But, there's good news.  I've also published the book as an e-book, available from both Amazon and Smashwords and priced more reasonably at $7.99 (circa £6.17/€6.98). You can view and download samples from either website.

For more details, click here.

Footnote

I have a few personal signed paperback copies I am willing to let go at the author's price (lower than list) + p&p.  E-mail me if you are interested in obtaining a copy and I'll respond with details.

(^_^)

The Dream Guardian, Delivered

Posted 7 August, 2017

No need for words.  The pictures say it all.

The Dream Guardian, delivered to its rightful owners on 6th August, 2017.

(^_^)

The Dream Guardian: A Reader's Review

Posted 4 January, 2018

Last year, I published my book for children, The Dream Guardian.  A reader, Jonathan Taylor (JT), he of the Buzludzha murder mystery, has sent me an unsolicited review of the book.  Here it is, with his permission.

~~~~~

The Dream Guardian

Reviewed by Jonathan Taylor

With delightfully presented cover and beautifully written, well-crafted dialogue, The Dream Guardian by Ben Bennetts is a book that represents so much more than the title at first suggests. We soon enter the secret world of dreams and magic, but the relationships between the family, particularly the storytelling Grandfather, are for me, the driving force behind the narrative. This is a book that offers so much more than one at first expects. For me, it’s a book that parents and children read together, containing puzzles to solve and a host of new words to learn. It soon becomes clear - it is a collection of bedtime stories but also a valuable educational resource for the younger enquiring mind. Although much of its content is directed at the younger end of the children’s novel market, many aspects of this work are appropriate for the older child, teenager and even adult. It is appropriate for all ages and contains something for everyone.

Exciting chapter titles soon explain what is to come, and they are often more exciting than the overall title itself. We find a host of weird and wonderful characters: GoBadly Goblins, fairies and even Picketty Witch – who remains my particular favourite. Indeed, I sense that Picketty will soon have a novel all of her own! There are only two downsides to this work, but not in any way sufficient enough to impede my enjoyment of it. Grandpa at times is a little old-fashioned – and there are some outdated stereotypes that reflect his age – a product of a different generation. But, such text is appropriate to what Grandpa would be saying in the context of the overall story and authentic intention of the author. And included are many computer-generated images that I feel don’t truly reflect the absolute brilliance of the wording within. This is forgivable given the self-published nature of the work. Do not let these fool you into believing the work to be amateur in nature – it is certainly not.

The Dream Guardian brought me immense pleasure – I couldn’t wait to read on and find out the next secret, page after page. It is a book that will inspire you, make you think, make you laugh and also educate you. It is thoroughly exciting from beginning to end. Five stars: and congratulations to this exceptionally talented writer.

Jonathan Taylor (JT) - British singer, songwriter and novelist

~~~~~

In response to JT's review, I penned and sent him a new story about Picketty Witch, his favourite character in the book.  The title of the story is Picketty Witch and the Malodorous Cackleberries. Here it is.

Picketty Witch and the Malodorous Cackleberries

In which Picketty Witch plans a new trick and causes a stink.

After the failure of the smelly muddy puddle trick to catch the children on their way to school, Picketty Witch went back to her cottage in the forest and thought about how else she could play a nasty joke on the boys and girls. She wrapped her black cape around her, placed her broomstick by the front door, lit a fire underneath the cauldron containing all sorts of dead animals and squashy toadstools, and sat and thought and thought and thought.

I need something foolproof, she mumbled to herself, something that cannot go wrong. Now, what will it be?

Just then, Spot the dog jumped to his feet, approached the cauldron, had a jolly good sniff at the bubbling contents, and went outside as quickly as he could.

What's up, Spot? asked Picketty Witch, getting up and approaching the cauldron. Hmm, that's not a very nice smell, is it Spot? Is that what made you get up and leave the room?

Spot didn't even look back. He was fast disappearing into the trees outside the cottage, more intent on chasing a small rabbit that had dared to venture into his sight.

Yes, that must've been it, mused Picketty Witch. Then it hit her; the thing she'd been looking for; the best trick she had ever thought of: stink bombs.

I'll make some stink bombs and throw them down the chimney of the schoolhouse when all the children are inside. Yes, that's what I'll do. Now, where can I get some stink bombs? I can't go to town and buy them. Everyone will see me do that and warn the children. No, that'll never work. I'll have to make them myself. But, how do I do that when I'm stuck out here in the middle of the forest with just Spot, a few ducks, a few chickens, and Mildred the cow?

Then she had a brilliant idea.

"I know. I'll gather all the eggs in the henhouse and store them away for a month and a day until they go bad and, hey presto, there are my stink bombs—a bag of bad eggs, my very own collection of malodorous cackleberries. If I drop them down the chimney, the children will be out of the schoolhouse before you can say Abracadabra, something's wrong; the eggs have broken, what a pong! Yes!"

And with that, Picketty Witch went outside to the henhouse and collected the eggs, twelve in all, and placed them in a paper carrier bag she had kept from her last visit to the local witches’ coven when she had traded a couple of homemade broomsticks for some frogs’ toes and newts' eyes.

I'd best keep the eggs out here, beside the henhouse, she muttered to herself, in case they break. She placed the bag carefully just outside the henhouse door and went about her daily business, practising her spells, mixing up horrible mixtures of magic potions, and polishing her broomstick.

One month and a day later, Picketty Witch decided to test whether the eggs were ready for her new prank. She took a large jug of water out to the henhouse, carefully picked up one of the eggs and placed it in the water. If it sinks to the bottom of the jug, she said to herself, it's still a good egg. But, if it bobs around on the surface, it's no longer fresh and has certainly turned bad inside with lots of bad gasses to make it float.

The egg bobbed up and down in the water. Picketty Witch tested another, and another. They all floated. Good, she muttered. They are ready to throw down the chimney in the schoolhouse. I will do it tomorrow morning after 9 o'clock when the children are all in the room doing their sums, or reading their story books. Come Spot, we have to plan how to creep into the village and climb up onto the roof of the schoolhouse without being seen.

Spot looked at the bag of eggs, looked at Picketty Witch, looked up at the dark storm clouds gathering in the sky, and started laughing. What are you laughing at, Spot? Picketty Witch said angrily. But Spot just sat there, a smile on his face as if he knew what was going to happen.

The following morning, after it had rained hard all night, Picketty Witch got up and prepared herself for the stink bomb trick she was about to play on the children. She hummed tunelessly as she dressed herself. She cackled as she ate her breakfast of cornflakes and custard flavoured with powdered snake's forked tongue and lizard's legs, her favourite condiment. Today's the day, Spot, she said. Today's the day I will play my big bad stink bomb trick on the children. Come, let us get the bag of eggs and away to the village. It has stopped raining. It's time to go.

Picketty Witch stood up, placed her black cape around her scrawny shoulders, stuck her pointy hat on her head and with Spot by her side, walked over to the henhouse to collect the bag of bad eggs. She picked up the bag and looked inside. She noticed some of the eggshells had turned a shade of pale green because of all the rotten stuff inside but some still looked as white as the day they were laid. Hmm, I'd best do one more test to make sure the white-shelled eggs have turned bad inside, she muttered. I'll take the bag over to the house and check the white ones in a jug of water.

Carefully, she lifted the paper bag and carried it to the house. Now, what she hadn't realised, but Spot had anticipated, was that the rain the night before had fallen inside the paper bag and soaked into the bottom making it