Restitution: Brass, #1

By Kaithlin Shepherd

As one of the top Assistant US Attorneys in the country, Savannah Walker is smart, ambitious, and she doesn't back down from a challenge, unless it comes in the form of Noah Johnson. Savannah's been in love with her best friend's brother longer than she cares to admit, but risking their friendship isn't on her to-do list. When building a case against a drug trafficker, she's assigned to a DEA task force led by the one man she can't shake. She has no idea if this case will bring them together or tear them apart.

DEA, Noah Johnson, risks his life every day. With a world filled with blood and bullets, he's unwilling to chance Savannah's life. Keeping her at bay for years, Noah has forced himself to never cross that line, but lately, he can't get her out of his head. When an investigation into a drug trafficker reveals a mole in Savannah's office, Noah will do whatever it takes to keep her safe.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pretty Lovely Publishing
• Release date: Jul 31, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386234203

Kaithlin Shepherd

Kaithlin Shepherd was born and raised in Canada where she learned to figure skate and crafted a love affair with coffee. Growing up in a household filled by strong-headed women, she learned early on that life is what you make it. You've probably never met a bigger country music fan and in the words of Brooks and Dunn, she's a die-hard 'George Strait junkie.' Constructing a world away from her real life, Kaithlin loves the feeling of creating a universe where her fans can forget about everything in their life. She loves writing about hot alphas and doesn't shy away from turning up the heat with scorching hot sex scenes.

Book preview

Chapter One

Savannah

Summer in New York City is my favorite time of year. I love the smell of flowers as I walk through Central Park, the sound of the water during my morning run, and the weekends spent at the lake house. We don’t get the chance to do these weekends as often as we used to since our careers have made us slaves to our offices, but once a month, we all gather up at Kennedy and Noah’s lake house in Maine and pretend we don’t have a care in the world.

Usually, I’m the first one with a cold beer in my hand, trying to forget the past month spent working twenty hours a day, seven days a week. However, I find myself being the odd one out today, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Kennedy, Zoe, Annabelle, and I have been best friends for eighteen years, and there is not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful to have them in my life. We escaped the jungle that is high school together and made it through NYU Law School together, forging a friendship that goes beyond the average bond most friendships are based on.

All throughout high school and law school, girls have always been jealous of us for having four of the hottest men in the state as best friends. Sitting in my lounge chair with a beer in my hand, looking at Noah, Logan, Blake, and Connor shirtless in the pool, I can truly understand why. Individually, they are gorgeous, but put them together and they give women heart attacks.

Logan is the dark and mysterious type with longish black hair and deep green eyes, the body of a Greek god and a chest covered in tattoos. Blake is the quiet type, but don’t let that fool you—the man is trouble with a capital T. He has blond hair and blue eyes, full sleeves on both arms and a beard that gives him the edge that makes women drop their panties with a wink. Connor is the ultimate bad boy with a soft side, but his brown hair, full beard, and green eyes give him a tough exterior, supported by the tattoos covering his right arm and left leg.

Then there’s Noah. The man is a pure sex god on two legs. With his longish blond hair, full beard, blue eyes, and tattoos on his arms, hands, and chest, he’s my every fantasy. The only problem with that scenario is that he’s my best friend’s brother, and to him, I’m just his little sister’s best friend.

Over the years, I’ve managed to keep it together and not make a fool of myself around him. However, that all changed two weeks ago when my boss at the US Attorney's Office assigned me to work the DEA task force. Noah is leading it against a drug cartel in Colombia who are smuggling drugs into the US. In the few weeks, I’ve spent more time with Noah than I have in the last eighteen years, which is the only explanation as to why I’m avoiding him this weekend. The upside to this development at the office is I get to work with Annabelle, who is also an Assistant US Attorney, and Connor, who is on the same task force as Noah. Watching them bicker offers some entertainment and a much-needed distraction from working side by side with Noah, but it doesn’t make fighting my feelings for him any easier. Refusing to take this case would kill my career, though, leaving me with no other choice. Every other case we’ve worked together on was different, but now that he’s lead on this case, it changes everything.

What’s up with you lately? You’ve been strange all week. Kennedy is probably the most observant person I know, so hoping I could get away with being distant all week was a short-lived dream. It’s one of the reasons why I love her; she doesn’t hold anything back, except maybe the acceptance of her feelings for Blake, but that’s another issue she’s gladly been avoiding for years now. Kennedy is one of those women who are just beautiful naturally. Her long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and slender body make her look like a supermodel, but don’t let that fool you into thinking she doesn’t have the brains to back it up. Just like me, she’s one of the youngest appointees to the US Attorney's Office, and she is one of the brightest legal minds of our generation.

I take a sip of my beer, adjusting my sunglasses, while hoping I can avoid this conversation altogether. Nothing is up with me. I’m just tired from working on this new case. Which technically isn’t a lie. Noah and I have been sleeping at the office for the past week, only getting a few hours of sleep at most over the last seven days.

The cartel case you’re working with my brother? When she sits down on the chair next to mine, I know she’s determined to have this conversation today. The thing about being in love with your best friend’s brother is that you can’t hide anything from her. My feelings for Noah aren’t a secret to the girls, and I’d even bet the guys also know. That doesn’t mean I want to talk about something I’ll never have, but they don’t seem to understand that.

The one and only. My eyes drift to the pool where Noah is currently making my mouth water with the sun and water dripping off his chest. Why couldn’t he just keep his shirt on?

Kennedy laughs besides me, telling me she knows exactly what I’m thinking about. Of course, she would, because Blake is standing right beside Noah in the pool, also shirtless and looking like a gift to women. How are you handling that? Her voice is filled with understanding for the situation.

Handling what? The case? I try to make my voice sound as steady as possible, but I’ve never been one with the ability to lie to my friends or deflect a conversation.

No, smart-ass, handling working with Noah.

It’s great. Noah is great. Again, not a lie. Noah is one of the best DEA agents and one of the youngest agents ever to lead a task force against a drug cartel. He’s smart, cautious, and diligent, and he knows when to take calculated risks. He’s protective and controlling, making him the perfect leader even if he doesn’t always think he’s cut out for the job.

Your left eye twitches when you lie, Savannah Walker.

You’re a pain in my ass, Kennedy. Just drop it, all right? This is the last thing I want to talk about today. It’s the reason why I’m scrunched in my little corner, trying to hide from the world, which obviously I need to learn to do better because she is not giving up.

I don’t get why you just don’t tell Noah.

Well, there’s a million reasons why I will never tell Noah that I’m in love with him. First, he’s one of my best friends and taking a chance that could ruin that is not going to happen. Second, I work with him on multiple cases and that’s not likely to change any time soon, so admitting my feelings to him could impair our working relationship, which is not an incentive. Third, guys like Noah don’t date women like me. Unlike Kennedy, Zoe, and Annabelle, I’m not a size 6; my size 10 is not the best option to attract a man like Noah. Before I can answer Kennedy, though, I feel water dripping down my back, and when I feel his hands on my shoulders, I’m pretty sure my glare could kill Kennedy if I wanted to.

Tell me what? His voice sends shivers down my spine every time, and when I feel his fingers tightening on my shoulders, I know he didn’t miss my body’s reaction to his voice. I want to kick myself for letting him have that much power over me, but I never do. When his hands leave my skin, I hold back a moan of frustration at the lack of contact. However, when he sits down beside Kennedy, in front of me, I have to focus on keeping my breathing even because I just want to straddle him and ride him into oblivion. When Kennedy coughs, I realize I’ve been staring at him, but haven’t answered him yet.

Nothing. We were just talking about how nice it is that we get to work together on this cartel case.

He’s looking at me like he’s trying to figure out if I’m telling him the truth or not, but his wicked smile tells me everything. He knows I’m lying. You know you can’t lie to me for shit, Savannah, so how about you try that answer again?

I hate that he knows me so well—eighteen years of friendship will do that. I lean back in my chair, hoping I can convince him to not push this further. What? I’m not…. That’s what we were talking about.

He runs his hand through his hair and gives me that trademark Noah Johnson smile that melts my panties every single time. I’m going to let that one slide, for now.

Let what slide? One thing about Connor is he always seems to show up in conversations at the wrong time, and apparently today is not an exception to the rule. The good thing is I’m no longer the only one squirming in her seat, if Annabelle’s lust-filled eyes are any indication.

Connor hands a beer to Noah and something passes between the two of them; they’ve always had that uncanny ability to communicate without talking, which is probably one of the reasons why they’re great partners. Whatever’s got Savannah here squirming in her chair.

The humor in his voice makes me want to throw a tantrum; he takes pride in knowing me better than I probably do. If I could wipe that smirk off his face, I would do it in a heartbeat, but the truth of the matter is I can never take his satisfaction away. But that doesn’t mean I have to give into his every indulgence. "I am not squirming."

Only one reason I know that makes her do that. The second the words slip past her lips, Kennedy is chuckling like a five-year-old.

My head spins, and if looks could kill, she would be dead right now. I try to tell myself that it’s the overhaul of beer she’s had today that’s making her so loose, but so help me God, if she spills even one little hint about my feelings for Noah, I will have to hurt her. "Kennedy shut up." I make sure my voice is stern, leaving her no room to misinterpret the consequences if she says one more word.

Noah glances between Kennedy and me with a look of delight at his sister’s words. Logan and Blake have joined us by the chairs, making it obvious they know exactly what Kennedy is talking about, and I can’t help but wonder if Noah does, too. He can’t know, can he? If he knew, he would have said something by now, right?

He leans back on his elbows, putting his abs on display, and my eyes are glued to his body. When he catches me looking at him like he’s dinner and I’m starving, he laughs and winks at me before turning back to his sister. Oh, no. Go on, sis, elaborate.

I jump to my feet in front of Kennedy, my hands on my hips. When Logan whistles, I remember I’m wearing a two-piece—which none of the guys have ever seen me in—and that I haven’t slipped my cover-up on. Kennedy remember that if you open your mouth on this, I’ll do the same.

Annabelle and Zoe are laughing at the scenario unfolding, and when I glance their way, they give me their best sympathetic look.

You wouldn’t. Her eyes lock in on Blake and I see the panic rising in her face. She would never take the chance that I would spill what I know, especially not in front of Noah.

Try me. I shift on my feet, realizing how harsh that sounded.

Sorry, bro, but she’s got too much ammunition for me to spill.

When I turn to face Noah, I can see a battle of wills in his eyes. The intensity should scare me, but I know he would never purposely hurt me or push a situation past its limits. I force my body to relax, but when he rises from his chair and grabs my hand, my breathing becomes fast and uncontrolled as he walks us toward the house. You and I are going to talk.

***

Noah

You would think a thirty-three-year-old man would be able to control basic urges around a woman, but when it comes to Savannah, I have no control over my actions. She makes me feel like a lust-filled teenager. I’ve known her since she was twelve years old and wanting her underneath me screaming my name should make me feel like a dirty old man. But she’s thirty now, and fuck if she isn’t the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

This past week, I’ve spent more time with her than what’s normal for us, especially since she’s been avoiding me lately. When my boss at the DEA put me in charge of a new task force and told me our Assistant US Attorney would be Savannah, I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. She’s always been happy and carefree, but working with her every day this week, day in and day out, I’ve noticed she’s pulled back, locking a part of herself away where I can’t reach it. At first, I thought I was overreacting, but when Connor said the same thing, I knew there was a problem. I didn’t push it, though.

My sister thinks I’m the biggest idiot on the face of this earth for not seeing through Savannah’s tough act when she’s around me, but what she doesn’t realize is I know exactly how Savannah feels about me. I fight it with everything I have because a man like me, with needs like mine, has nothing to offer a woman like her. I have issues that run deeper than most people’s, but that’s part of who I am, and I made myself a promise a long time ago that I would never drag Savannah into that darker side of me. So, I fight my attraction to her, my feelings for her, even knowing she feels the same way. Even though I know it’s killing her inside because, sooner or later, she’ll let me go. She’ll find a nice guy who’ll give her what she needs, but that man isn’t me, no matter how badly I want it to be.

But it’s like an addiction; I can’t stop wanting her. Kennedy might have pushed some hot buttons outside with her little display of knowledge, but when I saw Savannah’s eyes filled with lust and desire when she looked at me, something snapped inside me. I can’t deny myself any longer, and she can’t fight me forever. When I saw her in that two-piece, rocking those mouth-watering curves that make my cock rock-hard every time I see them, I lost control. Her face right now is masked with confusion, and when most men would want to clear up any misgivings, I take pride in the fact that I’m the only man who can bring her to this state of urgency and unbalance.

What are you doing, Noah? Her voice is shaky, and while I know that even my best smile isn’t going to help calm her nerves, I know what will and I’m not afraid to use it.

Sit down, Savannah. If there’s one thing you get to master when you’ve known someone for eighteen years, it’s to read that person’s body language and observe their response to different scenarios. Savannah craves someone to take control, to take away her choice of closing herself down to what life has to offer. Someone who will show her that giving control to a man in the bedroom is liberating. A lot of people think men like me are what is wrong with society, that all controlling men are assholes who don’t respect women, but that’s the opposite of the truth. I would give my life to protect a woman, especially the one sitting in front of me, but being in control of a woman’s pleasure is a gift I treasure, and I respect that more than life itself. When a woman like Savannah—a professional, smart, headstrong woman—gives you her complete trust, just like she’s dying to do right now, that’s the most precious gift in the world.

What did you want to talk about? She’s mellowed a little since sitting down, which reinforces my dominant nature.

Let’s start with why you’ve been cold with me this week. There’s an unruliness in my voice, and I don’t try to hide it. She knows she doesn’t have the ability to lie to me, even though it doesn’t stop her from trying when she thinks I’m getting too close.

I see the shock of the question register on her face. She takes a deep breath before answering me, and I know I’m right on the money about what happened this week. What? I haven’t been cold.

Yes, you have. You had your professional wall up all week around me, and I want to know why.

We were working, Noah; that would be why. She’s trying hard to make it sound as simple as the words she’s giving me, but I can see past her, past the walls she’s building up right now. Walls that I’m going to take pride in knocking down time after time.

Watching her right now, I know I’ll never be able to let her go, never be able to watch her with another man. She’s mine; she’s always been mine. Don’t bullshit me, Savannah. We’ve worked dozens of cases together, and you’ve never once acted like that with me, so I want to know what changed.

Nothing changed, Noah. I was just tired this week. I didn’t expect another big case this soon. That’s all.

The way she’s biting her lower lip and avoiding looking at me makes me feel like an asshole for pushing her like I am, but I don’t have it in me to stop. You’re lying to me right now, and I want to know why.

Noah, please. She’s begging me to drop it, her voice breaking as it echoes through the empty dining room.

Tell me why you’re lying to me, Savannah. This is not who we are. We don’t lie to each other. I reach for her hands, but she tucks them away before I can grasp them.

I can’t tell you, Noah. Please understand that. She’s pleading by this point, but I can’t let it go, not anymore.

You can’t tell me? Since when can’t you talk to me?

Noah, just drop it, okay?

I will not fucking drop it, Savannah. Not until that pretty little mouth of yours tells me what I want to hear. Her whole body is shaking and I feel my heart breaking. I’m the one responsible for putting her in this vulnerable position, and I’ll never forget the look in her eyes right now—the one that’s telling me she wants what I’m trying to get out of her but is scared to give it to me. In a matter of seconds, I see the change in her; she’s managed to lock down her feelings, and it’s pissing me off that she won’t let me in, won’t let me be what she needs.

You’re an asshole, you know that? The screeching of the chair on the floor as she pulls back from me is a noise I’ll never be able to forget. It’s no longer a wall that’s guarding her heart—it’s a fortress.

Savannah… Letting her walk out that door is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, but I can’t force it on her—not yet, anyway. But if she thinks she can walk away from what we have, she has another thing coming.

Chapter Two

Savannah

It’s close to dinner time before I’m able to regain my senses after what happened between me and Noah earlier in the day. I’m still not sure what got into him or what his intentions were when he decided to start pushing a subject matter we both know is going to lead nowhere. I’ve been hiding in my bedroom for hours now, and judging by the lack of interruptions to my quiet time, I’m guessing no one wants to be on the receiving end of my bad mood.

Over the years, I’ve heard about Noah’s tendencies in the bedroom, but today marks the first time I’ve ever witnessed it for my own. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen or experienced in my life, but that doesn’t change anything.

Can I come in? Kennedy’s voice from the doorframe pulls me out of my thoughts of Noah’s dominant nature. I never use the word ‘hate’—I’ve always believed the word aligns itself with too much resentment, too much anger that can cloud your perception of things—but what she did today is not something I’ll forget any time soon.

Why did you do that? You know I can’t tell him, so why would you put me in that situation, Ken?

I can tell by the look in her eyes that she’s sorry about what happened, but I know deep down she really isn’t. She’s been on me for years about telling Noah how I feel, but no matter how much she wants that, it doesn’t justify what she did today. Honey, you have to tell him. If you would just give him a chance, you wouldn’t be disappointed.

No, I would be heartbroken, Kennedy, and I couldn’t handle losing my friends over saying something stupid to Noah.

She takes a seat on the bed, hands on her thighs, watching me closely as I speak. It always makes me nervous