Caio and Leo

By Levi Brito

Caio is a gay teenager out of the closet who falls in love with the most popular guy in school. Leo, the popular guy, ends up finding out about his true sexuality when getting involved with Caio. Together they go through several typical problematic situations from being a teenager

• Language: English
• Publisher: Levi Brito
• Release date: Jan 16, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386499268

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INSCRIPTION

For Francisco, my lover and my eternal passion.

Chapter 1 - What are you looking at?

A new school year and finally my last one in high school. I could not wait to get out of school and move on to a mature, adult life, leaving the depressing, conflicting, and pain-filled teen years behind. Entering a university where students cease to be students and become rational and receptive people (that's what I hope) is my dream since the first year. The classes started at the Daniel Ferreira Municipal School and I realize that the promises made in December will lose their strength. They will disappear as I realize everything in school is the same and that discouragement starts taking over me.

The same types of students, the same teachers with their moral lessons trying to put a little bit of good sense on those immature heads wearing headphones. And not even the arrival of first-year freshmen and strangers from other, generally private, schools (who were too troublesome for their parents and no longer deserve the hard-earned money spent on their private education) made that environment nice to me.

It was always the same. The nerds, geeks, emos, non-emos, rockers, the alternative ones, and me. I'm not part of any specific group. But maybe I can fit into the alternative ones. After all, I have had several colleagues who considered themselves to be so.

I could be part of the colored group. But I don't know if there are enough gays in my school to form a group. Most are locked in the closet. Unlike me. I forced that door open a long time ago.

In the first year of high school, I was expelled from my old school. I always studied in public schools. Luckily, these were well-organized schools with good teachers. So I discovered that the phrase the school is made by its students is really true. But over time, the old school ceased to be a dream I had. Not that my previous school got worse after me and the most handsome boy left it, but the school was surely less beautiful without him. My absence, however, did not make a difference.

What happened between the two of us was so recent that I still smell him, his touch and his grip on me. I had spent the whole first year of high school looking at him, staring him without shyness. After all, he was so handsome that even the straightest of the school's students recognized that.

But one day, as in a dream, I managed to get out of a terrible chemistry class to escape to the bathroom. I made such a convincing bursting face that the teacher gave in and let me out.

Walking through the empty hallways of the building, I found him, the most handsome boy in school. I slowed down to see if he was going to his classroom, but he continued on the same way I was going and entered the bathroom. It took me a moment to get the courage to get in there too. But I did.

Inside the bathroom, I was careful not to make any noise on the wet floor, but to my surprise he was leaning against the back wall. He stared at me when I got in and I was paralyzed. I did not know what to do. The boys usually went straight to the urinal without any shame. The shiest ones, but not necessarily gay, went to one of the stalls.

I lowered my head and walked slowly to the nearest stall, feeling like a prey in front of a hunter. When I got in, it was all very fast.

I heard his footsteps approaching, then, he opened the door and stared at me. When I realized, I had already taken off his shirt and he had taken off mine. He kissed me, and as my uncontrolled hands slid into his belt, someone entered the bathroom.

Surely, this someone heard us and realized that something was wrong. He went to the stall where we were, pushed the door open and caught us. He was a school employee. His eyes and mouth were wide open with astonishment. "What are you doing out of the classroom?" He shouted. The handsome boy and I looked at each other. I still had my hands about to unbutton his pants.

Of course we were taken to the headmistress's office shortly. We had to wait for our parents to arrive, but even before they arrived, the whole school was already aware of the story of the two boys who were making out in the bathroom. One that same day, I was expelled.

The promises I made for my senior year were to devote more to my studies and pay less attention to useless things. Useless things like spending hours on the computer monitoring the lives of others on social networks. I promised not to do that anymore. At least, not for long. I also promised not to dwell so much on the idea of ​​having a boyfriend. No longer dream about that special person you dream of staying together for the rest of your life and calling you 'my love'. I don’t know if I want that anymore.

I promised to focus on the studies every day, without unnecessarily going out with colleagues and colleagues of colleagues. After all, friends are few. And these few don’t always invite me out.

I also don’t want to be reminded of the bathroom episode. Thinking about it reminds me of the trust my parents lost in me back then. My parents have always been very understanding of my sexuality, and that episode has made things strange for a while. Luckily, not too long.

My parents were so understanding with me that I even got bored sometimes. I even asked my mother to be a blind homophobic tyrant just so I knew what it's like to have an incomprehensible, cold family, or one that is fanatical about views of the hypocritical society and religious taboos. I even dreamed about the day when I would take my parents to an afternoon show on open TV and be famous for it. However, I have grown up and finally recognized the luck of having parents who accepted me the way I am.

It was my first day of school after Carnaval and I was still in the kitchen, having breakfast when my mother said, Son, you have got to your senior year. I'm so proud of you. Then she gave that smile that I loved. I hugged her tight and thanked her.

Congratulations, son! My father said without taking his eyes off the morning TV news.

My father was as affectionate as my mother. He was sitting, watching the news. My father has always been a very focused man.

Just before being expelled from the previous school, I told my parents that I did not like girls.

What do you mean, you do not like girls? Did any of them hurt you, traumatized you, or didn’t kiss you well? My father asked.

No, dear! He wants to tell us he's gay, my mother explained.

And why did not you say so earlier? He murmured, looking at me. Well, what can I say...

The two of them stood for a long time watching me. They seemed curious, as if I were an actor in a play. This was not the reaction I expected.

Are not you angry? Are not you going to suppress me and kick me out? To say that you are ashamed or disgusted with me? That this is not how you educated me? I asked.

If that's what you're after, leaving home, forget it, little boy. My mother warned.

But I meant it, I'm gay! Are not you disappointed?

Caio, I'm glad you're being honest. Our greatest happiness was to have you as a son. She put her hand on my father's. I had already heard the story that my mother had trouble getting pregnant, and that I was their miracle. That's what I was. A gay miracle. I know you well enough to know where you want to go and where you're going. We will not stop you from being happy.

She looked at my father. He took a deep breath.

If you're happy and your mother is too, I do not see any problem.

And you're happy with me, dad? I asked, realizing his dismay.

Of course I am, come here. And he gave me a shy, forced hug, but it was still a hug. I'm glad you told us the truth.

I looked at them. I really am a lucky boy for having the parents I have, I thought.

Wait, do you have a boyfriend already? He asked.

No, dad. Not yet, I said, a little uneasily.

And are you a...?

Virgin? I guessed.

Top? He said top with such conviction that I did not really want to disagree with his guess. For God's sake, how did my father know these things?

Dad! I shouted.

Darling, this is very intimate. He can be whatever he wants to be. My mother said.

I just wanted to know.

Can we close this conversation here? I asked, embarrassed.

It was funny – and scary – to see my father asking me such intimate things.

It's been two years we had this talk.

I finished the coffee I was drinking and got up to get my backpack. It was early March and, as usual in this country, everything only really begins after Carnaval. My backpack was full of books and notebooks, as usual.

Did you forget anything, son? My mother asked.

No, mom.

Have a good class, son, my father said as I went through the door.

See you later! I waved to both of them.

The days of March in the only capital of the northeast Brazil that has no coast are really confused and sultry. My city is right in the middle of the state, miles away from the sea. I looked up at the sky, which was a little gray. It was very cold for a month in the summer. According the morning TV news, the temperature was 75°F and I was barely able to take a shower. I closed my eyes as I automatically walked to school like an ant walking back to its colony. The same path as in previous years. I tried to visualize the goals that I should follow until the end of the year to pass the entrance exam and enter the university. But my thoughts were soon interrupted.

Hey! Someone shouted, and I almost tripped on a tree root jumping off the the sidewalk concrete.

Watch out! You shouldn’t walk around with your eyes closed.

Hi, Debbie! I greeted her, discouraged.

Have you done all the paperwork yet? Why do they do this? The teachers, I mean. Two weeks of class in February and all they do is give us paperwork, damn it...

Debbie is one of my few friends. In fact, my only friend. We've been studying together since fourth grade when we were even weirder than we are today. She changed schools just to stay by my side. She was very different from other girls, both in attitude and appearance.

Even earing the school's gray uniform, she still drew attention with her rebel black hair and the red Converse with pen-drawn shark teeth on the white front of the sneakers. She was an only child, just like me. Somehow, she related to me because of that. She didn’t date many boys. They think she is too weird, and she thinks they are too normal.

A strange fact is that I've never talked to her parents. Even when I went to her house, they were always busy working. I only saw them once, on the last day of eighth grade, when they came to get her by car.

Of course I have! I had enough time to finish all the paperwork, even before the weekend. I said proudly.

Um ... Debbie made a sad face. I still have to finish the math and physics ones. The Portuguese, English and chemistry ones, I finished yesterday.

Why do you leave everything to the last minute? The deadline is tomorrow, you queer nerd, I messed with her.

I'm not queer. I'm only a nerd.

Yeah, but you never leave me alone. So, you're queer by assimilation.

We have incredible chemistry, don’t we? She took my arm and we walked together like a bizarre couple. She had a yellowed-tooth smile because she ate too much candy and chewing gum. The smile matched the freckled round face and careless hair.

Anyway, I pulled her closer, hugging her. Debbie was really my friend,