The Days of Dinkum Dodger – Volume II: Dinkum Dodger, #2

By John Saomes

Entertaining, thought-provoking, hilariously funny, and deftly serious … more Australian bush poetry at its best!

This volume is a second helping of comical antics and outrageous yarns — as told by the infamous Dinkumous J. Dodger, a true blue Aussie larrikin.

Political correctness is swept aside and daring opinions are openly expressed to challenge governments, politicians, and international conspirators. Probing questions are posed about political motivations, foreign manipulation, and Australia's place in the world.

There is nothing mild mannered about this poetry. You either laugh until your sides ache, become incensed with outrage, cringe with fear — or roar your approval that someone has the pluck to express what many of us really think in this socially engineered and tightly controlled world.

The poetry of John Saomes is a feisty weave of humour and biting social comment that will tickle your funny bone and challenge your thinking!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Inspire Point Publishing
• Release date: Nov 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9780994291042

Book preview

Part I

Laughing Matters

Dinkum Dodger Smile

The Curse of Jacob’s Well

Dinkamous Dodger was a dunce,

or so the teacher said.

His mother had an awful job

to get him out of bed!

He never got to school on time.

And even when he did,

he fell asleep upon his desk!

The teacher shook his head.

---

"What to do with you young man?

You never pay attention.

I clip ya ear an' tan ya hide

and give ya more detention;

but nothing seems to work with you!

You're always playin' jokes!

Your wit is quick and more pronounced

than ordinary folks!"

---

"And even when you're here—ya not!

You're either deep in thought,

or somewhere off in dreamland.

Just look at your report!"

---

"A boy with brains the likes of yours

should lift ya head with pride!

But who would guess our Dinkie Dodge

a genius in disguise?"

---

"Whatever will become of you?

I'm blowed if I can tell.

Dinkamous J. Dodger.

The curse of Jacob's Well!"

Raucous Rivalry

A funny place was Hungerford,

or so the story goes.

It sits bang on the border

of Queensland and New South Wales.

Now we know of the rivalry

t'ween cockys and the toads.

But modern day is nothing

to how it used to go!

---

Two houses and a humpy

on the southern side of town.

Five houses up in Queensland,

though three were falling down.

---

The Welshmen had the G.P.O.

and store and old Doc Fudd,

but Queensland had the policeman;

and two resplendent pubs!

The policeman had no powers

'cross the New South Wales line,

but mucking up in Queensland

would land ya quick inside!

---

So mind ya step in Queensland,

that's how the rumour goes,

and if ya get into a blue,

(as bold maroons love to do!)

make sure you cross the road!

---

Well Cobb and Co. came Tuesday,

or one day when it rained,

and pulled in right between the pubs

to have the horses changed.

The coach was only ever due

about when it arrived,

and all the thirsty travellers

would quickly rush inside.

---

Now both pubs had verandahs

that overlooked the yard,

and there they kept a stallion

by the name of ‘Old Black Scar’,

and as the weary travellers

sipped cider in the shade,

a few young blokes took round the hat,

and this is what they bade!

---

"Some entertainment here for you!

You see the wily black?

He's never known a saddle

to be strapped upon his back.

So here's your chance to see a show.

Step up and make a bid!

Young Blue will try to ride him,

if we can raise two quid!"

---

The hats went round the verandahs.

The shillings tinkled in.

Two pounds and more were taken.

The show could now begin.

---

Bluey jumped the split rail

and moved the horse around,

and leapt upon the stallion's back

and galloped out of town!

---

And during the theatrics,

his mates had flown the