The 365 Days of Christmas: December to March (Part 1)

By R.E. Warfe

A Christmas comedy with crackers, crackling and crack-ups

Janet organises her Christmasses with the precision of a marching band; from turkey to tinsel, she has it under control… but while she’s making gift tags and Christmas crackers, her family are making other plans.

In this first slice of plum pudding, Janet starts a Christmas blog, paints her dining room and finds a long-lost aunt, while introducing us to the correct way to pack up Christmas decorations and the best recipes for Christmas leftovers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: R.E. Warfe
• Release date: Nov 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9781925786330

Book preview

Copyright

26 December 2016 – Boxing Day

The 365 days of Christmas

Boxing Day is my second favourite day of the year: all of the tinsel, all of the trappings and all of the turkey of Christmas (well, not all of the turkey, but there should still be plenty left) without the hustle and the hassle.

Yes, this day deserves its name in lights.

But Christmas doesn’t have to be harried. If you plan ahead, the day can flow like the pipers at the Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo, and my own Christmases are Yuletide clockwork because I coordinate them with precision.

Janet, said my colleague Donna admiringly (I think it was admiringly),you organise Christmas within an inch of its life. No-one starts Christmas earlier than you.

My secret is that I don’t start Christmas at all … because Christmas need never stop. From Boxing Day on, if you do just one little thing every day, you too can have a dazzling, beautiful, merry Christmas. And that’s why I’m writing this blog: to share my festive organisation tips with the wider world.

And I’m not just talking about Christendom. Here in Australia, Christmas is far more than a mere religious festival:¹ it’s the end of the year, the start of the summer and the beginning of the holidays, as well as a feast, the most important family gathering on the calendar and a mistimed winter solstice festival.

So Christmas belongs to every Australian. Hindus and Muslims and Jews and atheists can hang baubles, exchange presents, feast with friends and make merry. And this is one of the things I’ll guide you through in the year ahead: I’ll let you know which bits of Christmas are purely secular (like crackers) and hence available for absolutely everyone, which bits have mild religious connotations (like pagan Yule logs) and can be adopted by anyone flexible, and which bits are strongly religious. (You may not want to set up a nativity scene right next to your lounge room shrine.)

I’ll also be giving you some hints for an economical Christmas (because no-one needs to go into debt for Christmas. It really isn’t necessary, not even if you want to make a splash) and some ideas for a green Christmas (because celebrations don’t have to break the planet).

But let’s get down to the heart of the matter: what should you be doing today so that next Christmas dances to your beat? Although much of Boxing Day will be a pleasant progression through the leftovers from yesterday, stretched out on the lawn, playing with your presents² and chatting with your relatives,³ there is one important task that you shouldn’t neglect. While it’s still fresh in your mind, think over yesterday and note what went well and what could be improved:

Did you run out of a particular food? (I come from a long line of over-caterers and we don’t like to finish even one dish at a party: if all the lamingtons are gone, then there might have been someone who wanted another and couldn’t have it and that will be on your conscience for all eternity.⁴)

Were there enough spoons? Did they get through the dishwasher fast enough?

Did you have trouble with the rubbish?

Was the present opening a happy festival or a chaotic frenzy?

And so forth.

But apart from those reflections, kick back and enjoy my second-favourite day of the year!

27 December 2016

Crate the plates

It’s time to put away the good china, checking it for chips⁵ and cracks, and counting it as you go.

Now estimate the number of people you’ll be feeding on Christmas Day next year, and remember that you can’t be certain of the exact number at this stage. In my case, even though I know my children and my sister and her family and my brother and my aunt will be here, it’s possible my brother may bring home a new partner (which he has done off and on through the decades⁶ but he’s nearly fifty now and he’s slowing down).

It’s wise to add a few to the number you come up with to budget for surprises. If you don’t have enough plates for everyone on your guest list or if you broke your favourite serving bowl or have decided that you really do need a gravy boat,⁷ note what you’re missing so that you can fill the gaps when you find a bargain.

It’s back to the dungeon for you, fine china!

My nephew Ben and his girlfriend Cassidy visited me today because Cassidy had lost a necklace. She couldn’t find it at home and thought she might have left it here on Christmas Day so they turned the place upside down but the jewellery didn’t appear. Then Ben knocked my trifle bowl off the dining room table and smashed it to smithereens (which saved me putting it away, but was a waste of washing). It’s a shame but I try not to get too attached to fragile possessions, it’s just asking for grief.⁸

28 December 2016

A fridge too far

You’ll be sick of (or sick from)⁹ eating Christmas food by now so it’s time to deal with the leftovers:

Wrap the remains of the Christmas cake in foil, plonk it in a cake tin and stow it in the pantry. It will keep for months so you can get it out in March when you feel like fruitcake again.¹⁰

Mince tarts and shortbread will stay good for weeks, so put them into airtight containers but don’t forget about them.¹¹

Gather up any Christmas biscuits that are feeling their age, blitz them into crumbs in the blender and freeze them. You can use them later to make a special crumb crust for a cheesecake, but you won’t be wanting cheesecake today.

Christmas pudding can be frozen now and successfully reheated later.¹²

If you still have jars of fruit mince or cranberry sauce, hang onto them. They’ll last forever if you’ve lidded them properly and kept them cool.¹³

Move leftover bottles of cream to the back of the fridge: you can make scones with sour cream later. (Recipe on a later date.)

If you have any creamy or eggy desserts left, throw them out, even if you’ve kept them refrigerated. They’re not safe any more.

Leftover salads have also had the gong.¹⁴

Ham is fine and will keep for weeks if you’ve been looking after it, but if you’re sick of it, whack most of it into the freezer and bring it out in February for toasted sandwiches.

Throw the stuffing out but if you’ve kept the turkey in the fridge, it will be okay. Carve it up, freeze it in meal-sized portions and use it later in risottos or any of your favourite chicken recipes.¹⁵ Keep the bones for stock. (Recipe tomorrow.)

Anything else that has been sitting around buffet-style should certainly be thrown out today (or even yesterday): it’s been too warm too long.

The grandmother of a school friend of mine died of food poisoning at about this time in December many years ago (and the family have had their Christmas dinners in restaurants ever since). Bear that in mind if you’re feeling sentimental about the potato salad.

Keep the ham. Ditch the salad. Don’t touch the tiramisu with a ten-foot spoon.

My nephew Ben and his girlfriend Cassidy came back again today to give me a new dish.¹⁶ Ben told me that Cassidy had made him buy a straight-sided glass bowl because she knew that was best for trifle, which surprised me because she refused the trifle on Christmas Day and disparaged the pudding and satisfied herself with the merest sliver of lemon tart, so I had her marked as a dessert-phobe. I don’t have much time for people who see ice cream as an insult but, after I’d thanked Ben for the bowl, Cassidy gave me a little china reindeer plate to express her gratitude for Christmas Day and said she appreciated how hard I must have worked to get everything perfect. I may have misjudged her.

Cassidy also explained why the missing necklace meant so much to her: on their very first date, she and Ben passed a fence covered in jasmine and Cassidy put some in her hair. Unbeknownst to her, when the flowers fell out, Ben gathered them up and kept them. Then for Christmas he took them to a jeweller and had them squinched between two little circles of glass and framed in gold to remind her that he has loved her ever since that first date.

29 December 2016

Stocking up

Make stock with the turkey bones. (Don’t be scared – it's easy.) Just boil the bones up in a big pot with an onion, a stick of celery, the heel of a carrot and the stalks of any parsley you have left after you’ve used the leaves elsewhere. Also add 2 tablespoons of acid (vinegar or lemon juice) because this leaches the calcium out of the bones and makes your stock calcium-rich and excellent for anyone who doesn’t eat enough dairy.¹⁷ Simmer it all day (a slow cooker is perfect but you can do it in an ordinary saucepan on the stovetop – in fact, the largest pot that came with your saucepan set is called a stockpot for a reason), strain it, cover it and cool it in the fridge overnight.

In the morning, scoop off the fat that has accumulated on the surface and discard it (although in leaner days, they’d have called it turkey dripping and fried things in it)¹⁸ and freeze the stock in one-cup portions for use in anything that asks for chicken stock, like soups and casseroles.

You’ll be surprised what a sense of achievement you’ll feel with a freezer full of homemade stock. It’s the kind of wealth you can’t win in a lottery.

The other Christmas stock-ing.

Today I suddenly remembered that my son Jeremy vacuumed the cracker glitter off the dining room floor between dinner and tea on Christmas Day¹⁹ so I thought it might be worth looking in the dust bag and, sure enough, there was Cassidy’s necklace. She was delighted to see it. (I washed the dirt off before she came around; when your love token looks like garbage, it’s easy to take it as a bad omen for your relationship!)

30 December 2016

Timber!

The official day for taking down Christmas decorations is 6 January, Twelfth Night (of which more later), but if you have a potted pine, it will be pining for the great outdoors, and if you have a cut pine, it will be getting long in the tooth. So look at your tree, critically assess the overall decor and note anything you’d like to improve.²⁰ Then pack up the decorations one type at a time²¹ – all the large baubles, say, or all the wooden elves – and inspect each one carefully as you go, throwing out anything that’s shabby²² or irreparably broken (and it’s much easier to be ruthless when you’re packing up than when you’re decorating.)

If it needs a new string or a minor repair, put it in a Christmas tin (we’ll talk more about this another day too) to fix later. Show no mercy to tinsel: if it’s bald in spots or matted with sticky tape or flattened or faded, chop out the bad bits and throw them away. If you’re left with a hangable length, put it away. If it’s too short to hang but long enough to wind round a present, you could save it for next year’s Christmas wrapping. If it’s too short for wrapping but longer than 50cm, keep it for next year’s Christmas crackers (of which more later). If it’s shorter than that, throw it out.²³

Soon you will have a well-organised stack of boxes of decorations for your Christmas tree and good notes about what you need for an even more spectacular display next year.

Finally, take your potted Christmas tree outside, stand it in the shade and water it well; after being inside for a couple of weeks, it won’t be ready for full sun yet. Leave your cut tree out for the rubbish truck.

Catch a falling star and put it in your work basket. Save the repair for a rainy day.

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