Spiritual Abuse: A Sufi's Perspective

By Anab Whitehouse

No religious or mystical tradition is immune from the presence of spiritual abuse, for wherever there are people who are seeking to become closer to essential truths, purpose, and meaning, there will be individuals seeking to generate counterfeit currency to offer to those who are unaware, or incautious toward the dangers which lie in wait along the spiritual path. Fraudulent teachers might call themselves a guru, shaykh, rimpoche, monk, priest, imam, apostle, avatar, or minister. They might also call themselves educators, revolutionaries, political leaders, and freedom fighters. Whatever they might call themselves, if they seek to gain control over others through techniques of undue influence, then, they are propagators of spiritual abuse. This book is relevant to individuals from all spiritual traditions, but often focuses on the Sufi spiritual tradition.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anab Whitehouse
• Release date: Oct 22, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463703205

Anab Whitehouse

Dr. Whitehouse received an honors degree in Social Relations from Harvard University. In addition, he earned a doctorate in Educational Theory from the University of Toronto. For nearly a decade, Dr. Whitehouse taught at several colleges and universities in both the United States and Canada. The courses he offered focused on various facets of psychology, philosophy, criminal justice, and diversity. Dr. Whitehouse has written more than 37 books. Some of the topics covered in those works include: Evolution, quantum physics, cosmology, psychology, neurobiology, philosophy, and constitutional law.

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Table of Contents

Introduction

1) FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

2) Characterizing Spiritual Abuse - Part One

3) Characterizing Abuse - Part Two

4) Ya Shaykh

5) How Do We Know?

6) Rules of Recognition

7) Experience of Spiritual Abuse

8) Staying and Leaving

9 Never Again

10) Victim’s Mentality

11) Perpetrators

12) Aspirations

13) Proprieties

14) Canadian Wilderness

15) The Nature of Deen

16) Veiled Guidance

17) Need For A Shaykh

18) Doubts

19) The Guru Papers

20) The Grieving Process

21) Forgiveness

22) Naming Names

23) Abusing Love

24) Internet Connection

25) Construction of Reality

26) A Fate Worse Than Death

27) Narcissistic Spirituality

28) The Boundary Problem

29) Science And Mysticism

30) Signs, Truth And The Way

31) Interstitial Space

32) Tears Of Life

33) A Beginning

34) Assumptions

35) Seeking

36) A Matter of Trust

37) The False And The True

38) Eight Warning Signs

39) More Warning Signs?

40) Trance States

41) Authenticity

42) Shari’ah and Bi’dah

43) Gurdjieff

44) People Of the Lie

45) The Mahdi and Caliphacy

46) Discernment

47) Whomsoever God Pleases

48) Initiation

49) Genuine Fake

50) Close Encounters Of A Different Kind

51) Phenomenology of Charisma

52) Terrorism, Dissociation and Abuse

53) A Story and Its Symbolism

54) Qualities of a Teacher

Introduction

Spiritual abuse assumes many different forms. Such manifestations might be mild, or they can be quite intense and malevolent.

No religious or mystical tradition is immune from the presence of spiritual abuse, for, wherever there are people who are seeking to become closer to essential truths, purpose, and meaning, there will be individuals seeking to generate counterfeit currency to offer to those who are unaware of, or incautious toward, the dangers that lie in wait along the spiritual path.

Some instances of spiritual abuse might involve gullible individuals who are induced to become committed to a ‘guide’ or teacher who, when examined even superficially in an impartial manner, might exhibit many of the warning characteristics of a spiritual charlatan. Unfortunately, in many other cases, the problem of recognition with respect to a given ‘false teacher’ becomes much more difficult and subtle.

Just as there are hack engravers and master engravers who are involved in the production of counterfeit money, so, too, there are huge differences in the level of ‘artistry’ exhibited by those who would pass themselves off as authentic spiritual guides. Some fraudulent guides are fairly easy to spot, but there are others who present a far greater challenge.

Spiritual abuse might occur in neighborhood churches, mosques, temples, centers, and other places of religious/spiritual gathering. This problem also might take place in much more exotic and/or remote settings,

Fraudulent teachers might call themselves a guru, shaykh, rimpoche, monk, priest, imam, apostle, avatar, or minister. They also might call themselves educators, revolutionaries, political leaders, and freedom fighters.

All forms of terrorism, whether these are acts of individuals or of states, presuppose the existence of spiritual abuse. Terrorism cannot occur unless someone -- a leader, master, or authority figure -- uses techniques of undue influence to induce other people -- followers, initiates, devotees, citizens -- to commit atrocities in the name of Divinity, spiritual purity, Justice, and Truth. All such forms of inducement are expressions of spiritual abuse.

The present book, Spiritual Abuse: A Sufi’s Perspective, arises out of my experiences with a spiritual charlatan who called himself a Sufi shaykh or guide. Although a number of chapters within this book entail discussions that focus on themes that are steeped in the terminology of Islam, in general, and the Sufi Path in particular, much of this book is of relevance to anyone who is interested in, or struggling with, problems of spirituality and mysticism, irrespective of the particular tradition with which he or she might identify.

In addition, sometimes, it is easier to recognize a problem in one’s own life when one is, first, introduced to a given issue in a context that, initially, seems to be far removed from one’s everyday commitments and priorities. More specifically, while some of the chapters of Spiritual Abuse: A Sufi’s Perspective have a specific Sufi/Islamic flavor to them, anyone who has an interest in spirituality will be able to feel a sense of resonance with the issues and problems that are being discussed in conjunction with the Sufi mystical tradition.

Furthermore, there are many other chapters in Spiritual Abuse: A Sufi’s Perspective that are written in a way that, hopefully, will provide a more universal appeal to readers who come from a non-Muslim, and/or non-Sufi background. In other words, these other chapters explore themes that have applicability to a variety of spiritual traditions beyond that of Islam and the Sufi path.

There are many people within the Sufi/Muslim community who will give lip service to the idea that there have been and, probably, are some individuals who, in both the past and the present, have sought to pass themselves off as authentic spiritual guides, when, in truth, they were, or are, spiritual counterfeits. However, the same individuals who might be willing to give lip service to this issue, often tend to feel that it is unseemly and, somehow, inappropriate to suppose that this is issue is anything more than a marginal, incidental, isolated, and occasional problem.

Based on my research of the past several years, the problems being addressed in this book are both substantial and pervasive. This does not mean that everyone who calls himself or herself a spiritual guide is a charlatan, for I do believe, on the basis of personal experience, that authentic, Sufi teachers do exist in this day and age, but, nonetheless, at the same time, I believe -- based on my own experiences, research, and the communications of many people from different parts of the world -- there are an array of spiritually abusive relationships that are being inflicted on thousands of people by Sufi charlatans in countries around the world, including the United States and Canada.

This problem is not small. It is huge, but all too many people within the Sufi/Muslim community are in denial about the existence of such spiritual abuse and seem to feel that if they just pull the covers up over their heads, the problem, like any good boogeyman, will just disappear into the night. This might have worked when one was a child, but it will not work now.

Perhaps, because of perceptions concerning events of 9/11, Muslims and Sufis are feeling so defensive that they believe any attempt to publicly examine the issue of spiritual abuse within the Sufi/Muslim community is ill - considered under the present circumstances. The search for truth will always be an inconvenience for those who have vested interests to protect.

I, obviously, am of a different opinion. In fact, I believe that the shadow cast by the tragedy of 9/11 offers a tremendous opportunity to begin to critically examine the dynamics and nature of spiritual abuse -- both within Muslim and non-Muslim communities.

This is my belief for a number of reasons. Foremost among these reasons is the following one: spiritual abuse was at the heart of the 9/11 tragedies -- not only in terms of the histories of the individuals who plotted and carried out such acts of terrorism (although I am not suggesting, here, that any of those individuals claimed to be a Sufi or had a Sufi teacher), but also in relation to the histories of those government and media figures around the world who, either intentionally or unintentionally, helped bring about a set of circumstances that were conducive to the occurrence of the events on 9/11.

At first blush, the problems of spiritual abuse in the Sufi/Muslim community might seem to have little to do with the events of 9/11. However, when one begins to probe the matter further, one starts to understand that the dynamics and factors that are in play in the realm of spiritual abuse in conjunction with the Sufi path, also are in play in the realm of terrorism and the abusive effects that international economic and political policy have upon the souls of people throughout the world.

Beginnings are always difficult. But, begin we must.

Although the primary focus of the present work revolves about the issue of spiritual abuse, virtually all of the principles, themes, and dynamics that are explored in the following pages are fully applicable to a wide variety of situations in which abuse is being perpetrated even though the nature of such abuse, at least on the surface, might appear to be removed from the mystical quest. The dynamics of personal relationships, families, schools, organizations, corporations, and governments are all capable of giving expression to abusive relationships ... in fact, one might wish to argue that abuse, whatever its particular mode of manifestation, constitutes a violation of another individual’s basic rights as a human being such that the latter’s search for truth, meaning, purpose, and identity are undermined, disrupted, thwarted, and/or corrupted by another person or group of people (or both).

One should feel free to read the essays in whatever order one likes. Although the chapters are, hopefully, complementary with respect to each other, they also can be read independently of, and do not presuppose, one another.

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Chapter 1: FAQs -- Frequently Asked Questions

(1) Is the Sufi Path a cult?

Response: There is a considerable difference of opinion about what constitutes a 'cult'. The definitions of a cult tend to vary with the theoretical, religious, and psychological biases of the people who are doing the defining.

Some researchers contend that 'cults' or 'cultic relationships' revolve around four primary features: (a) the nature of a group's origins; (b) the personality of the leader, along with the sort of role a leader plays within the group; (c) the kind of power structure that links a leader and those who follow her or him; (d) the presence or absence of a system of thought-reform, sometimes referred to as 'brainwashing'.

Supposedly, cults and cultic relationships tend to give expression to social arrangements in which a self-appointed, charismatic leader uses techniques of persuasion to induce others to venerate her or him, rather than either Divinity or principles of ethics, law, and government (depending on the sort of cult or cultic relationship), and, in addition, employs authoritarian modalities of maintaining allegiance.

However, there are many individuals who are fraudulent spiritual guides who do not necessarily conform to the foregoing model. For example, they might not appear to be self-appointed (although this might, in fact, be the case but it is hidden) but, rather, are presented (by themselves and/or others) as 'teachers' who, allegedly, are selected by duly appointed spiritual authorities. Moreover, in many cases, a fraudulent teacher might not be charismatic but, instead, merely seems to be very sincere, compassionate, kind, loving, and authoritative in the things that are said or written by that individual, and, as well, in relation to that person’s surface behavior.

In addition, no overt authoritarian or mind-control techniques might be readily detectable. Followers of a spiritual charlatan might seem to be prepared to freely comply with the suggestions of the teacher. Finally, a fraudulent teacher might not overtly court the veneration of others and might even profess not to care for being treated in a special manner but, nonetheless, ‘humbly and reluctantly’ accepts the freely given offerings of love in order not to hurt the feelings of followers.

Spiritual abuse is not a function of whether a given set of social relationships conforms to someone's definition of a cult or cultic relationships. Rather, spiritual abuse is a matter of whether one person intends to exploit, manipulate, control, undermine, corrupt, obstruct, or injure the spiritual capacity of another human being in order to serve some personal agenda (emotional, social, physical, material, psychological, financial) of the first individual.

Because intentions are very difficult to gauge and since there are a wide variety of techniques that can be used to re-frame the 'appearance' of intentions, oftentimes the presence of spiritual abuse can be camouflaged or masked. Authoritarian power might, or might not, be exercised, and a leader might, or might not, be charismatic and/or self-appointed, and a leader might, or might not, employ a coordinated set of techniques to persuade people to become followers.

Nevertheless, one theme that remains consistent across different modes of spiritual abuse is an underlying intention to deceive in order to gain the trust of another human being, for trust is the gateway to the soul of that person. Once such trust is given, almost anything becomes possible as far as the issue of exploitation and manipulation is concerned in relation to the person who has given her or his trust to another human being.

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(2) What is the most difficult aspect of spiritual abuse from which to recover?

Response: The answer to this question might vary from individual to individual. However, in general, the most devastating dimension of recovering from spiritual abuse is the sense of essential betrayal and mistrust that arises in conjunction with a person's realization that he or she has been spiritually exploited.

There are many psychological, emotional, social, financial and spiritual wounds that might ensue from a spiritually abusive relationship. Yet, often times, long after many of these kinds of problem are resolved, there remains a lingering paralysis of trust, and one's willingness to invest that essential part of ourselves in anything else -- whether it be oneself, another human being, or an organization of some kind.

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(3) Are only certain types of personalities or developmental backgrounds drawn to situations of spiritual abuse?

Response: There is a common misconception among many people that only 'weak', stupid, naive, 'simple', emotionally disturbed, uneducated, fools are likely to become entangled with spiritually abusive individuals. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Almost everyone is vulnerable to the possibility of spiritual abuse. Only a person who is pathologically incapable of trusting another human being is relatively immune to being exploited by a spiritually abusive individual.

The currency of spiritual abuse is trust. Once trust is given, a person becomes vulnerable to being spiritually abused and betrayed, and there are some life circumstances that incline us to be more willing to invest our trust than are other life circumstances.

More specifically, when, due to certain happenings of life, a person is feeling isolated, alienated, frustrated, or has experienced a substantial loss of some kind, or is in developmental transition, or is going through emotional turmoil, then, one might be in substantial need of a sense of peace, stability, friendship, kindness, meaning, direction, purpose, motivation, and love during such times. Consequently, if, at these junctures in our lives, we are introduced into, or happen into, the sphere of influence of a spiritually abusive individual, we might be quite ready to invest our trust because our normal defenses of critical circumspection and/or usual, natural reluctance to commit ourselves have been lowered as a result of what is going on elsewhere in our lives.

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(4) Is it true that once a person has begun to come to the realization that she or he has been spiritually abused, then, disengaging from a spiritually abusive individual is relatively straightforward?

Response: The short answer to the foregoing question is: no. As years of research with respect to such phenomena as domestic abuse [whether spousal or that involving parent(s) and a child (children)], the so-called Stockholm Syndrome, and related issues have demonstrated, the emotional relationship between abuser and abused is very complex.

The dimension of an abuser-abused relationship that enables an abuser to continue to have a debilitating emotional claim on the minds, hearts, and souls of those who have been abused by such an individual is very insidious and runs extremely deep -- even after the abused person comes to realize that abuse has been perpetrated. There are many reasons why such a pathological theme continues in the life of an abused individual, and such reasons are tied to, among other things, the personality, developmental life history, social circumstances, the specific vulnerabilities of such an abused individual, as well as the kind of recovery assistance that is, or is not, received by that person.

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(5) Is recovery from spiritual abuse just a matter of 'time healing all wounds'?

Response: Not necessarily. Although there are always exceptions, the basic rule of spiritual abuse recovery is that those individuals who have had an opportunity to go through some sort of debriefing and disengagement process with one, or more, other individuals tend to adjust more completely and more quickly than do those people who try to sort out such matters on their own. In fact, in the latter set of instances, the long-term prognosis for emotional, spiritual, social, and psychological recovery tends to be relatively poor.

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(6) Are people who are spiritually abusive easy to identify? Response: If the answer to this question were 'yes', the problem of spiritual abuse might be a lot simpler to resolve. The fact of the matter is: very few spiritually abusive people appear to be so upon first, and even subsequent, contact. In fact, many spiritually abusive individuals seem to be down-to-earth, intelligent, sincere, committed, thoughtful, empathetic, emotionally stable, kind, loving human beings.

If spiritually abusive individuals frothed at the mouth, or had a deranged look about them, or were overtly cruel, then, we all would know what to avoid. However, it is the conspicuous absence of such clear signs that, sometimes, makes detection of spiritually abusive behavior very difficult.

Furthermore, the whole issue of mysticism is, for the seeker, steeped in ambiguity, uncertainty, puzzlement, apparent paradoxes, differences of opinion, and so on. Consequently, a newcomer to the mystical path, and even many veterans, have difficulty critically processing information in a way that would permit her or him to make definitive judgments about whether, or not, a given person is being spiritually abusive.

Through techniques of misdirection, re-framing, consensual validation, and plausible deniability, spiritually abusive individuals are able to muddy the waters sufficiently to give themselves degrees of freedom through which to keep the suspicions and doubts of any given individual off-balance so that a seeker is, quite frequently, never quite sure whether one is being abused or not. Many abused individuals are caught between a rock and a hard place since, on the one hand, there might be a certain amount of inconclusive evidence that something 'funny' or inappropriate is going on, but, on the other hand, such a person does not want to lose one's relationship with an 'authentic' spiritual guide if it turns out that these sort of suspicions and doubts are not well-founded.

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(7) What are some of the emotional consequences that ensue from the realization that one has been spiritually abused?

Response: Among the emotional conditions experienced by someone who either has begun to suspect, or actually realized, that one is being spiritually abused are the following: shame, guilt, denial, grief, self-doubt, cynicism, betrayal, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, fear, alienation, de-realization (a sense that nothing is real), depersonalization (the sense that one is not an actual person), apathy, mistrust, mood swings, depression, hyper-vigilance, and dissociation. Any given individual might not experience all of the foregoing states, but, at the very least, most such people will have to struggle with issues revolving about a core sense of betrayal, self-doubt, mistrust, and alienation.

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(8) What forms does spiritual abuse take?

Response: In one sense, there are as many kinds of spiritual abuse as there are different agendas of individual abusers. In another sense, there are certain kinds of spiritually abusive behavior that tend to keep showing up.

For instance, some spiritually abusive individuals seek to exploit people to gain access to material possessions, money, power, fame, veneration, and/or sexual partners. However, irrespective of the presence or absence of the foregoing possibilities, the sine qua non of spiritual abuse is the transmission of false information concerning an alleged teacher's actual ability to help a person realize the spiritual purpose of the latter's life or to assist a seeker to achieve spiritual realization through such a fraudulent guide.

All of the other forms of spiritual abuse are, in a sense, entirely secondary to this underlying problem since the 'hook' that makes all these modes of exploitation, manipulation and abuse possible is the promise of spiritual development, fulfillment, realization and sanctity. This is the essential trust that is betrayed, and the rest of the forms of spiritual abuse mentioned earlier -- whether sexual, financial, or otherwise -- merely add considerable and very painful insult to this more essential form of spiritual abuse.

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(9) What is the most frustrating facet of trying to inform other people associated with a fraudulent teacher about the perpetration of spiritual abuse?

Response: Almost no one believes you. The emotional, psychological, social, conceptual, material, and spiritual investment of fellow followers in a so-called teacher tends to be so extensive that such individuals usually enter into significant denial about what is being related to them from another member of the group.

Quite frequently, the person who is disclosing information about the perpetration of spiritual abuse becomes the issue rather than the behavior of the so-called teacher. The motivations of the former individual (i.e., the whistle blower) are constantly called into question and being construed as being less than sincere, honest, or fair with respect to the alleged spiritual guide.

In addition, the moral authority of the person who is speaking about the existence of spiritual abuse is far less than the moral authority enjoyed by someone with the title of shaykh. Moreover, this moral authority tends to be freely projected onto a spiritual charlatan by his or her followers, whereas someone who broaches the subject of spiritual improprieties is subjected to the most brutal of cross-examinations -- which often are less about fact-finding or determining the truth of a matter and more about trying to force back into silence those who are crying out for help.

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(10) Is it necessary for there to be direct, physical contact between a spiritually abusive individual and another human being in order for the latter to fall under the sway of the former?

Response: Not at all. In fact, there is a great deal of recruitment of targets by spiritually abusive individuals that is going on through the Internet.

The Internet offers a perfect cover of anonymity through which the character and flow of information can be almost completely controlled without the fear of that information being contradicted by disclosures concerning the problematic and inappropriate behaviors of a spiritual fraud. Once trust has been established through whatever disingenuous means, the individual who has handed over her or his trust has been 'groomed' to be induced to move in almost any direction the spiritually abusive teacher cares to take that person.

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Chapter 2: Characterizing Spiritual Abuse

Perhaps, as a means of trying to get the discussion -- or part of it -- under way, let's consider the following possibilities. Spiritual abuse is any interaction that seeks to compel -- whether through force, pressure, intimidation, emotional blackmail/duress, or other methods of covert control -- another human being to believe or act in certain ways. At the heart of any spiritual/mystical path is the inherent, God-given freedom to accept or reject the Divine purpose of life, and while individuals might wish to disagree or discuss various possibilities concerning the precise nature of what that Divine purpose is or what this purpose might entail, no one has the right to impose on others what that Divine purpose should be or demand that people must comply or conform with such possibilities. The freedom to choose -- which is a Divinely given gift -- should not be curtailed through coercive means … physical, emotional, psychological, social, or spiritual.

Or, approached from another direction, spiritual abuse is: any interaction in which the intention or niyat of one person is to corrupt, obstruct, undermine, interfere with, subvert, mislead, destroy, or impair the essential relationship that each person enjoys with his or her Creator. Thus, spiritual abuse is any interaction in which there is some intention, agenda, purpose, or goal other than a wish for the spiritually constructive enhancement of another person's life -- not according to what one might believe is in someone else's best spiritual interests, but according to what Divinity’s plan is for that individual.

Ultimately, the only person who has the responsibility for deciding or judging what God's plan is for an individual is the individual himself or herself. Others -- such as a spiritual guide, teacher, shaykh, murshid, guide or pir -- might be called upon as resources in assisting an individual to try to reach the best informed decision possible. Nonetheless, it is a breach of spiritual adab or etiquette to seek to manipulate that decision making process. This is especially the case when this is done for self-serving purposes ... no matter how nobly and beautifully packaged this manipulation might be.

Or, approached from, yet, another direction, spiritual abuse is any form of interaction that seeks, intentionally, to treat deception, disinformation, lies, misinformation, and falsehoods as if they were spiritual guidance rather than error. It is one thing to have differences of opinion about this or that teaching and to explore those differences in methodical, rigorous, but diplomatic ways, and it is quite another to use discussion as a tool of obfuscation for the purposes of influencing people to seek other than the truth -- for the truth is all that stands between us and error.

One might also say that spiritual abuse is any form of interaction that is authoritarian in nature and that provides few, or no, degrees of freedom for full disclosure -- or, as much disclosure as is feasible at any given time -- with respect to critically examining (in an appropriately respectful and discrete manner ) issues involving: identity, doubt, faith, truth, questions, concerns, purposes, meaning, methodology, justice, knowledge, understanding, integrity, adab (spiritual etiquette), morality, duty, responsibility, or disparities between what is said and what is done with respect to any of the participants in a given group, including the leader or guide of that group.

Two further characterizations of spiritual abuse are as follows:

(a) spiritual abuse is any form of interaction that induces a person to have fundamental doubts about trusting the intuitions of one's essential nature that abusive behavior is taking place (more on this shortly);

(b) spiritual abuse is any form of interaction that is designed to exploit the genuine, sincere yearning of a human being for contact with the Divine and transform this yearning into serving someone else's agenda of the nafs (the unredeemed tendency to rebel against truth) or dunya (the entanglements that are created by the collective interactions of the nafs of different individuals).

If we go back to the first added characterization or definition of spiritual abuse noted above, there are several qualifying points that should be made. First, many people who have experienced spiritual abuse have referred to a sense of (to borrow from Hafiz) 'there's something just not quite right about this camel ride'.

Unfortunately, many of us -- I know I have -- have tended to shelve these intuitions ... that is, put them aside. On the one hand, these things that involve the behavior of an alleged teacher have bothered us, and we often have a clear intuition that there is something that is wrong about what is transpiring -- although we might not be able to put our finger on precisely what this is.

Yet, on the other hand, despite the gut or heart sense that something is problematic about the sham-shaykh's behavior, there is a tendency to want to make excuses for the so-called teacher. Consequently, we tend to write off our intuitions with Well, I guess I don't understand, or I guess there must be something deeper involved here that I don't understand and, therefore, whatever I might think is worrisome really isn't.

The fact of the matter is, in an essential way, we might very well have understood what was going on ... but we discounted it at the time. Fraudulent shaykhs take advantage of this basic tendency in human beings to distrust themselves, and abusive teachers induce people to develop this tendency so that, over a period of time, people are less and less inclined to doubt the sincerity of the alleged spiritual teacher.

Fraudulent shaykhs are adept at getting people to censor themselves so that whenever these nagging intuitions rise to the surface, we push them back out of consciousness, feeling anxious, guilty or ashamed that such thoughts are present and treating such intuitions as if they are just further proof of how spiritually low we are -- after all, only someone who is vulnerable to the whisperings of Satan (Iblis) would be so vile as to have such doubts about someone so ‘noble’, wonderful, yada, yada, yada as the shaykh.

There is a very delicate problem in all of this. We all are beset with an inclination, if we are not vigilant, to follow the impulses, desires, rebellions, intentions, and base behaviors of the nafs. Furthermore, we are all vulnerable to the whisperings of the shaytan (those who would lead us astray from the straight path of truth).

The existence of such vulnerabilities is one of the things that renders us all in need of spiritual guidance. We need to learn how to navigate around the rocks and reefs to which the inclinations of nafs and the whisperings of the shaytan give expression within the phenomenology of our consciousness.

At the same time, God has given certain faculties -- such as the mind, heart, sirr (mystery), kafi (hidden), spirit, and aqfah (the most hidden) as tools through which to realize the truth as it is manifested in different dimensions, realms, worlds and levels of Being. Ilham (literally, flashes of intuition) or kashf (unveiling) are both means through which we might be opened up to an aspect of the truth by the Grace of God.

When we had intuitions that there was 'something not quite right about the camel ride' in conjunction with a person who claimed to be a shaykh, we tended to discount them. Instead, we listened to other sources of influences that led us to believe that we could not trust our basic intuitions concerning the truth of what was being experienced.

A true teacher helps an individual to constructively enhance one's capacity for veridical or true intuitions and unveilings about the presence of Divinity in one's life and within one's being. A false teacher seeks to invert this and tries to get us to listen to, and trust, the world-view of the would-be ‘guide’ rather than our own inner, God-given intuitions and understandings.

The purpose of the Sufi path is not to make us into carbon copies of the teacher. God has given to each of us a uniqueness that is inherent in our spiritual capacity, and if we were to try to become our teacher, this facet of uniqueness would not be served -- for Creation never repeats itself, and one of the purposes of Divine manifestation is to give expression to the full infinity of the Hidden Treasure that is -- as we are told in a Hadith Qudsi -- the reason why Creation was brought forth in the first place.

A true teacher knows all of the foregoing and, consequently, works with a seeker to help the individual struggle toward realization of this spiritual uniqueness. A false teacher does whatever he or she can to subvert the foregoing process and re-direct everything to express service to, adoration of, and sacrifice wishes of the false teacher ... and seen in this light, the two additional definitions or characterizations of spiritual abuse cited earlier make a great deal of sense.

Many individuals have pointed out how difficult it is, sometimes, for newcomers to distinguish between Haqq (Truth/Reality) and falsehood with respect to the mystical path. The fact of the matter is, this problem of differentiating between truth and falsehood is often very difficult for even people who have been engaged in suluk (spiritual travel) for many years -- even in relation to some shaykhs (and there are numerous stories in the literature about how some shaykhs have fallen from great spiritual heights precisely because of having difficulty dealing with this problem of differentiating between Haqq and falsehood).

The foregoing problem of differentiating between Haqq and falsehood is why one needs an authentic shaykh -- that is, someone who is capable of, God willing, being able to intuit or understand the difference between the two in order to be able to properly guide a seeker and help the seeker avoid the numerous swamps, dangers, and predators that can be found along the way of spiritual travel. False teachers understand the nature of this need and use it to gain a foothold in the hearts and minds of those who yearn to learn the difference between truth and falsehood.

Once a false teacher has insinuated himself or herself into the psyches of seekers, then, little by little, the alleged teacher begins to poison the seeker and turn her or him into a spiritual invalid who becomes totally dependent on the teacher. The horror of this is that someone who has been turned into such an invalid believes that the false teacher is really interested in one's welfare when, in truth, the spiritual charlatan is only interested in using a seeker's spiritual yearnings, needs, potential, and inclinations to serve the interests of the false teacher. The central delusion of people who continue to be captivated by a false teacher is that the process of poisoning and corruption of spiritual potential that is going on is actually being done for the spiritual betterment of the individual -- this is how crazy and sick things are.

The foregoing points are not exhaustive. However, they do serve to establish something of a beginning, through which further discussion and critical exploration might take place.

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Chapter 3: Characterizing Spiritual Abuse - Part 2

What is spiritual abuse? First, there should be something very clearly said about what it is not.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once indicated that every human being has four enemies: (1) the unredeemed nafs, or the internal seat of rebellion against truth; (2) Iblis, a chief or leader for a species of being known as jinn (the Qur’an indicates they are made from ‘smokeless fire’), who had fallen from grace and had taken leave from God to devote himself to seeking to dissuade human beings from the straight path of truth; (3) dunya, which constitutes the mess of entanglements, miseries, and problems that arise when the collective set of unredeemed nafs of human beings engage one another in pursuit of the prime directive of unredeemed nafs -- namely, opposition to, and denial of, the truth; and, (4) unbelievers, which does not refer to people of different religious faith but to those individuals who, like Iblis, might acknowledge the existence of God but have their own agenda that they wish to advance -- an agenda that bows down to other than the purpose for which human beings were created.

The path to spiritual realization runs through treacherous territory. The four foregoing forces are given expression through a multiplicity of manifest forms and structures that populate the territory through which the mystical path runs, and all of them -- singly and in varied combinations -- attack, both from within as well as from without, a would-be seeker after truth.

In short, there are very real forces that constantly attempt to persuade individuals, in one way or another, to either cease and desist spiritual activity or to adopt a ‘way’ that is, in truth, a cul-de-sac – that is, a spiritual dead-end. Although reason, up to a point, can help an individual distinguish between truth and falsehood, there comes a time and place on the spiritual path when reason must be illumined by, and supported through, the light of non-rational or trans-rational (and this is not the same as irrational processes) forms of understanding, guidance, intuitions, faith, and insight.

If reason, by itself, could have traversed the mystical path, there never would have been a need for revelation, the Prophetic tradition, or the inheritors of certain portions of that tradition – namely, the awliya or invested ones of Divinity ... those who are the recipients of the special barakah or Grace that enables them to be of assistance to the spiritually or mystically inclined. If reason, by itself, could have taken humankind to the summits of spiritual potential, then, there would have been no point in providing us with ways of knowing, experiencing, and understanding that are accessed, not via the mind or reason, but by means of the heart, sirr, spirit, kafi, and aqfah ... modes of spiritual engagement that are addressed specifically within the Qur’an.

It is because reason is a necessary but not a sufficient condition with respect to the realization of Self, one must look beyond the horizons of rationality for the real interesting and challenging facets of the mystical path. It is this realm of mystery that offers numerous opportunities for charlatans, spiritual quacks, bogus teachers, and spiritually abusive individuals to try to take advantage of the great vulnerability to which most of us are heir.

The foregoing refers to a mode of vulnerability. On the one hand, this vulnerability is clothed in ignorance. After all, if we knew the way to our spiritual destination, then, we wouldn’t be in a position of need and, therefore, having to trust someone else to guide us through the treacherous terrain.

On the other hand, the aforementioned vulnerability is made perilous by the force operating within each of us (i.e., the unredeemed nafs) that is not just resistant to the whole process of making a spiritual journey, but is openly antagonistic to that process through the manner in which it collaborates with the whisperings of the shaytan. (Shaytan are the set of beings or forces that are under the influence of the Satanic agenda to lead human kind away from the straight path of truth), dunya, and unbelievers.

Nafs is the ultimate paradigm for, and source of, unbelief in any of us. Indeed, kafir and kufr are words, that at root, mean to cover up or conceal, and that which an unbeliever (of whatever spiritual framework) seeks to cover up is the truth.

When an authentic spiritual guide attempts to help an individual thwart the machinations of the unredeemed nafs, this is not an expression of spiritual abuse. The practices, zikrs, seclusions, fasts, vigils, litanies, prayers, community service, and so on, that a legitimate teacher prescribes for, among other things, assisting an individual struggle toward redeeming the constructive potential of the nafs, might be experienced by the individual as difficult, painful, trying, or problematic, but this sort of qualitative character does not make the experience an expression of spiritual abuse ... except to the extent that nafs is being spiritually abusive to the mystical potential of the human being who is seeking release from the internal oppressiveness of the authoritarian regime of the unredeemed nafs.

Furthermore, the context through which such spiritual medicine of the soul is administered always is couched in properties of: kindness, compassion, love, tolerance, forbearance, insight, sincerity, honesty, nobility, generosity, integrity, humility, forgiveness, patience, empathy, as well as appreciation for the capacity and station of a seeker, in terms of how the spiritual guide approaches his or her interaction with an aspirant. I have known, heard about, and read of, a number of authentic spiritual guides who might have experienced spiritual difficulties of their own while, simultaneously, guiding others along the mystical path, but none of these difficulties ever filtered down to maltreatment of their mureeds or followers.

Whatever the nature of these difficulties or misunderstandings might have been, they were between the shaykh and Divinity. They did not entail any kind of abusive treatment toward his or her mureeds. In short, there was no spiritual counterpart to someone’s kicking the dog (i.e., a seeker) because something, somewhere else in the shaykh’s life wasn’t going well or was beset with problems.

Now, some people who are not aware of, or who have not been exposed (at least knowingly) to, the issues of spiritual abuse, might suppose that when other individuals speak about spiritual abuse, then, maybe, all that is meant is: (1) some sort of simple misunderstanding about the path; and/or, (2) the nafs of some of the seekers is acting up and the nafs of such individuals are resents the curbing of what the rebellious self believes is its right to unfettered freedom; and/or, (3) a shaykh has been perceived to have committed some set of relatively minor transgressions that has upset certain mureeds and about which they are taking exception; and/or, (4) something has gone on which can be talked through and, that together with a little tolerance, patience, compassion, and forgiveness, everything will be okay.

Now, while all of the foregoing might be problematic, none of what has been suggested above is really an expression of spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse is firmly rooted in the manner in which one, or more, of the aforementioned forces (nafs, Iblis, dunya, or unbelievers) are being given expression through the locus of manifestation of an alleged spiritual teacher, as well as through those who are under the influence of such an individual. These forces seek to corrupt, undermine, distort, disable, obstruct, destabilize, or destroy a seeker’s way to realizing spiritual potential and truth.

Spiritual abuse -- in whatever form it manifests itself -- is really the Satanic agenda in action. For, contrary to modern horror movies, the Satanic realm is not primarily about blood sacrifices, occult powers, or gaining money, power, sexual favors, and fame (although all of these might be part of what goes on with some individuals).

Rather, the Satanic agenda is about seeking to fulfill the promise that Satan made to God after he had been cast out from associating among the angels. More specifically, this agenda entails doing whatever is necessary -- be it little or a lot -- to dissuade human beings from the straight path, and the techniques employed to advance this agenda are guile, trickery, cajoling, manipulation, cleverness, and deceit.

Iblis is just as happy that someone dedicates his or her life to television, hobbies, or a career, as robbing banks and killing people. There are lots of ways through which the spiritual potential of life can be wasted.

Furthermore, Iblis can’t make human beings do anything. All Iblis can do is whisper, suggest, misdirect, provide disinformation, mislead, encourage, insinuate, preoccupy, as well as introduce doubt, worry, and suspicion. We do the rest by permitting ourselves -- or our nafs -- to become mesmerized or self-hypnotized by the possibilities inherent in what is being whispered or suggested to us.

Spiritual abuse sometimes takes the form of exploiting others in order to gain financial comfort, fame, and/or political power. Sometimes, spiritual abuse assumes the form of sexual misconduct. Sometimes, spiritual abuse is given expression through the activities of someone who is a sociopath (e.g., Jim Jones) or operates through the properties of a narcissistic personality disorder.

However, irrespective of the particular form through which spiritual abuse is given expression, the purpose and result is always the same: to serve the Satanic agenda. Anyone who engages in spiritual abuse knowingly, or unknowingly, serves that agenda.

Someone once said that the greatest trick that Satan ever performed was to induce people not to believe in his existence. People suppose that because they don’t see someone colored in red, with horns, cloven hoofs, a tail, and a pitchfork, then, the whole notion of Satan is nothing more than a myth that someone created somewhere along the line in order to scare impressionable people into living a certain kind of life.

We are told that no modern, intelligent, civilized, sophisticated, rational, scientific individual should ever seriously entertain the idea that there is someone known as Iblis who is daily setting in motion stratagems that are designed to induce human beings to abandon the straight path. Even many people of faith roll their eyes when the subject of Iblis or Satan comes up, as if it were an embarrassment to any serious discussion about spirituality.

Yet, there are many so-called spiritual teachers who exist within our midst who are passing themselves off as individuals who are capable of serving as authentic guides for the perilous journey from self to Self, but, who, in truth, do nothing but lead people away from the sirat-ul-mustaqueen, the straight path of truth. This is nothing more than the Satanic agenda made manifest.

In fact, such is the nature of this problem that many people today-- both in North America, as well as elsewhere -- are associated with false teachers, but these would-be seekers have not, yet, become aware of the extremely precarious and dire nature of their spiritual predicament. Consequently, they believe that everything is fine with the state of their universe and with the assumed progress of their spiritual journey.

Unfortunately, lots of people these days have come to confuse the straight path with whatever the direction is in which they are being led by someone who does not have their spiritual welfare sincerely at heart. As someone has said, the most binding shackles are those that are invisible to us and that we do not recognize as such.

The Sufi path consists of more than: possessing an ability to speak or write well, or being talented musically, or having a familiarity with Arabic, or being able to manifest a personal magnetism or captivating charm, or have a wonderful theatrical sense of story-telling, or enjoying a facility with worldly kashf (e.g., reading minds, thought projection, knowledge of events distant in time or place, psychic abilities, or the capacity to induce trance states, altered conditions of consciousness, or anomalous experiences), or indicating a knowledge of the technical vocabulary and/or teaching texts of mysticism. Many people have confused, and have been led to confuse, packaging with the actual nature of the path.

Furthermore, they assume that because the packaging is alluring, then, the secrets of the path must be contained within such packaging. As a result, they mistakenly assume that the resonance of truth that is felt in conjunction with an alleged teacher comes from the individual who is attempting to pass himself or herself off as a guide, when, in fact, the resonance of truth comes from within a sincere seeker in response to whatever truth is inherent in the message being spoken.

This truth is independent of the alleged teacher. However, the pseudo-guide basks in the light associated with that authentic teaching and induces people to believe that the counterfeit is the source of the Real.

In short, just because someone can talk the talk of a spiritual guide, this does not mean that person has been given the wherewithal to walk the walk of a spiritual guide. This is an entirely different matter altogether.

The anti-Christ or dajjal (imposter), whose arrival has been said by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to mark one of the greater signs of the Latter Days, will be capable of performing all manner of deeds that constitute departures from normal physical laws (e.g., raising the dead). However, this capacity -- though many will be tricked into supposing otherwise -- is not a sign of authentic spirituality ... and this phenomenon is relevant to much of what is transpiring today in many parts of the world.

The realization of having been spiritually abused comes through experiences, of whatever nature, that have taken place in conjunction with a so-called teacher that have led, gradually or suddenly, to a betrayal of trust that necessarily must link a seeker with a would -be guide. In short, the alleged guide is, and has been, serving a Satanic agenda of leading people astray from the truth of the straight path -- the path through which, God willing, the realization of essential, spiritual identity and potential takes place.

In other words, one comes to realize that the entire set of purposes for trusting someone, and associating with that person, and making efforts on behalf of that individual, or learning from that person have been soiled. As a result, one feels as if one has been touched by evil in a very personal, intimate, and essential manner.

None of the foregoing should be construed to mean there are no legitimate/authentic Sufi guides who live amongst us, nor is any of it intended to give the impression that finding one’s way to the straight path is a quixotic venture. Rather, the foregoing is a cautionary tale, if you will, whose moral is that there is a lot more spiritual abuse currently going on than most people suppose.

Sexual misconduct -- whether with the opposite sex or the same sex -- is getting a lot of the headlines these days. However, unfortunately, such forms of spiritual abuse are but the tip of an enormous iceberg in which people are being fed misinformation, disinformation, and misdirection concerning the mystical way by individuals who are serving -- whether knowingly or unknowingly -- a Satanic agenda that is intended to dissuade people through means, both ‘gentle’ and not-so-gentle, from the way of the straight path to Self-realization. To be entangled in such an agenda, to be touched by such perversity, to have one’s time and efforts wasted through such a program, is to experience spiritual abuse.

These spiritual pretenders have sought to usurp the legitimate function of authentic spiritual guides -- that is, those people who have been selected through a valid spiritual process to serve in the capacity of a teacher. Spiritual pretenders have done so through the qualities of Satan/Iblis.

In other words, the spiritual charlatans use all manner of deception, deceit, trickery, misdirection, manipulation, control, social influence, as well as methods of trance induction and anomalous experiences to camouflage the actual nature of their reprehensible activities, and like Satan they have become very adept at inducing people to believe that something other than what is going on is going on. Sometimes, it is only by the Grace of God that one trips over certain pieces of evidence through which the whole charade begins to unravel.

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Chapter 4: Ya Shaykh

Horizons seem to expand

into lands that dreams are made

from, as past disappointments

fade toward forgetfulness.

Possibilities fuel my

heart’s soul with high octane hope

that helps me cope with doubts that,

like vampires, feed off the night.

Moonbeams lead down a strange way

to spaces where some say light

of the sun may rise

in reflected, human form.

Ready to abandon all

that preceded this moment,

a sought-for future calls me

to embrace uncertainty.

Yearning haunts the halls of time

where I have learned to deal with

the problems through which real men

taunt my desire to transcend.

Shallow surfaces deceive;

misdirection is a key

to the magic that is spun

around one’s eyes, ears, and mind.

I only ask for the truth

But they are ruthless with words

which wrap events in pretty

packages like bait on hooks.

My fate wobbles in between

what is said and done by those

fully mesmerized with one

who remains a mystery.

We write our own stories, he

said, which makes me wonder why

someone would betray essence

in such calculated ways.

I never lie, is a phrase

that falls from his lips like quips

of a politician who

rarely speaks with honesty.

Wishing that the myth had been

more than an empty promise,

my heart spins on with the task

of seeking what it asks.

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Chapter 5: How Do We Know?

I would like to pose a question. The question is not meant as an exercise in sophistry, nor is it intended to be offensive. Nonetheless, I believe the question is an important one that is not directed at anyone in particular, but, rather, to everyone in general, including myself.

How does one know that someone who claims to be a shaykh or spiritual guide is what he or she claims to be? The question seems simple enough, but, in fact, it possesses a degree of difficulty and subtlety that contains a variety of phenomenological currents of considerable complexity.

What are some of the factors that influence how one tries to answer this question? Of course, with each individual, the manner in which this problem is engaged might vary in different ways, but there also are likely to be some commonalities as well.

Let’s consider a few possibilities. For example, we might read a book on spirituality or mysticism by someone, and we might be very much impressed with the book and what it has to say -- we might even be deeply moved by the book. On the dust jacket of that work, one might read that the person who wrote the book has been a spiritual guide for x-number of years.

Neither the appealing nature of the book nor the blurb about the writer on the dust jacket proves anything. There are lots of people who are good writers, diligent researchers, as well as persuasive, entertaining, informative communicators, but none of this, in and of itself, makes them a spiritual guide.

The blurb on the cover of the book, or, perhaps, the book’s preface might indicate that the author has studied for so many years with such-and-such a teacher, or was the daughter or son or relative of a well-known figure of spiritual literature, or has traveled widely and met with many teachers of a spiritual path, or has been on a rigorous journey of self-discovery over the last several decades. Again, none of this necessarily means anything as far as the issue of the authenticity of spiritual guidance is concerned.

Someone who taught Persian to my first shaykh, once said: There are so many Rumies who have never uttered a word. The inverse of this might be: ‘there are so many people who have uttered words but who have not attained, even remotely, the spiritual station of a Rumi.’

And, speaking of Rumi (may Allah be pleased with him), there is a whole industry of book publishing revolving about his Mathnawi, Divan, and Discourses is producing material that is purporting to translate different facets of the great saint’s works. Few people seem to be wondering whether any of these translations actually preserve the meaning of the original, or to what extent the spiritual understanding, or lack thereof, of the translator might be altering -- in important ways -- the teachings that are contained in those works.

Many people -- whether translators or readers -- don’t seem to understand that what was written from a state of spiritual ecstasy or from a particular spiritual station can only be properly understood by someone who is rooted in that same state or station. This doesn’t mean that someone who is not situated in an appropriate spiritual condition cannot enjoy or derive benefit from such writings, but, rather, it is intended as a reminder that in any hermeneutical process -- that is, any process of interpretation -- an accurate understanding can never be achieved except through the merging of horizons of the writer and the reader, and since the written word is only the entry point through which to begin the process of interpretive understanding, there are many factors that can affect the extent to which horizons merge in such situations.

Like the Qur’an, the physical words of someone such as Rumi, Ibn al-‘Arabi, and so on (may Allah be pleased with them both), merely serve as the means through which one begins to catch sight of the Ocean that lies beyond those words. Ibn al-‘Arabi (may Allah be pleased with him) once indicated in relation to his ‘Meccan Openings’ that the thousands of pages to which the ‘Openings’ gave expression were just a small part of what could have been said, and that what was said and could have been said were but a small part of what he knew, and that what he knew was but a small sub-set of what could be known. One might add that most of what is known by these great saints cannot be said ... only alluded to, and that even the very best examples of spiritual, mystical literature are little more than signposts that point in the direction of the possibility of a kind of knowledge and understanding that cannot be given conceptual expression ... for concepts and words are forms or structures with which the mind operates, but the mystical knowledge being alluded to is non-conceptual in nature ... which is why it remains a mystery to everyone except those who have had the requisite experiences through which insight and unveiling occur by means of non-conceptual faculties such as the heart, sirr, spirit, kafi, and aqfah.

So, let’s re-phrase the earlier question. If the various internal spiritual faculties of an individual have not been purified, calibrated and activated through the appropriate kinds of experiences and processes, then, how does one know that so-and-so is an authentic spiritual guide? The fact of the matter is that most of us don’t KNOW -- rather, we have beliefs, opinions, judgments, conclusions, understandings, perspectives, and feelings.

If we truly KNEW, then, our spiritual condition would be such that we would not need a spiritual guide because we already would have arrived in a spiritual sense and, as a result, would have direct insight into such matters. When we go in search of a spiritual guide, it is because we have admitted to ourselves that we don’t KNOW such things, but we aspire to, among other things, such knowledge and understanding.

Some of us might have certain kinds of dreams and/or experiences that we have interpreted to mean that we are on the right track in relation to having found an authentic teacher. However, one should exercise a certain amount of caution when it comes to such dreams and experiences, because there are a multiplicity of possible meanings in relation to these sort of experiences.

One spiritual guide used the symbol of fire as a way of illustrating the problems inherent in this issue. This teacher indicated that the symbol of fire can be encountered at a number of spiritual stations and that the meaning of the symbol can vary at each station.

For example, sometimes fire symbolizes anger, and at other times it might symbolize the ardor of the spiritual quest, and at still other times it might give expression to the quality of devilry. In some instances fire might symbolize the light of zikr, appearing in igneous form. On other occasions, fire might symbolize the fire of wrath, or, as in the case of Moses (peace be upon him), it might symbolize guidance such as when he saw a fire on the side of the mountain and went to investigate. Sometimes fire symbolizes gnosis, and sometimes it symbolizes that which burns away all other than the vision of Divinity. Sometimes fire symbolizes the station of sainthood or spiritual longing or mystical witnessing.

The spiritual guide who wrote the foregoing, then, went on to indicate that fire could symbolize many other possibilities as well and that only an experienced shaykh would know the meanings of this symbol under alternative circumstances. And, fire is but one of thousands of symbols that might be disclosed to an individual through dreams and/or waking, anomalous experiences.

Everything means something. However, finding out precisely what is meant on any given occasion is the trick.

Anyone can offer an opinion about the meaning of the events of life -- and such events are, like a dream, but a complex symbol in need of decoding. Some of these interpretations might even sound convincing, interesting, intriguing, or resonate with