When You Don't Tell

By Annie Boyle

My name is Annie and this is my third attempt Oh dear actually I think it is my fifth attempt to write my story, The first one I gave to my friend Beth who teaches English so I knew she would be able to put all of my literary mistakes right. Beth then put my story onto a disc I asked her what she thought of it? Beth said it made her cry but it needed more detail on the caricatures and it was not to bad for a first attempt.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Mar 9, 2010
• ISBN: 9781450048262

Book preview

When You Don’t Tell

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Annie Boyle

Copyright © 2010 by Annie Boyle.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Contents

1.      Parents

2.      New Home

3.      Moving House

4.      Back to Hell

5.      On the Move Again

6.      Here We Go Again

7.      Starting Work

8.      The Bitch is Back

9.      Haunted House

10.   Baby No One

11.   Baby Number Two

12.   Starting School

13.   The Mistress

14.   Back to Work

15.   A New Life

16.   New Pets

17.   Weddings and Funerals

18.   Getting Old

This is a true story and I hope it will help all victims of sexual and physical abuse.

Chapter One

Parents

My name is Annie and this is my third attempt Oh dear actually I think it is my fifth attempt to write my story, The first one I gave to my friend Beth who teaches English so I knew she would be able to put all of my literary mistakes right. Beth then put my story onto a disc I asked her what she thought of it? Beth said it made her cry but it needed more detail on the caricatures and it was not to bad for a first attempt.

I then decided to sit and read what I had written, well I think Beth was being very kind and polite because I had only read a few pages when I realized what I had written was a utter load of rubbish it was the ramblings of a depressed old woman on the edge which I think I was at the time when I wrote it, but it has helped me to remember some of the things that I had forgotten about, but this time I have not got Beth to help me because she has gone abroad to live so here goes book number five.

My dad was born and lived in the midlands untill he joined the merchant navy. Dad was an average sort of man he was stocky with black hair and when he was happy his eyes really use to sparkle he also had this funny soft chuckly laugh. Dad was the eldest of three his sister was called Rose and his youngest brother was called Ken.

Dad had met mom when his ship was docked in Manchester he had gone into the cafe where she was working and I can see why he fell for her she was a beautiful blond. She was born and lived in Manchester with her parents she too was the eldest of three her sister was called Sally and her younger brother George. I have asked mom many times about things from our past but she always says she can not remember, but she remembered where I was born and even the name of the nursing home which was in Manchester but then mom could not remember whether dad’s family were at there wedding or even if she had met them before hand. I have come to the conclusion she only tells us what she wants us to know.

My sister and myself now wish we had asked dad more about his and mom’s past life together but when you are teenagers you have got better things to do with your time than ask boring questions and at that time in our lives we did not know our wounderful dad was going to leave us so early.

My earliest memories are of a little town house in Alcester which was a small town in the midlands. I now have a little sister called Meg she was born at our dad’s parents house about a year earlier before we moved to Alcester. Our lives seemed quite normal and happy for about a year then mom started leaving us with a baby sitter called Hazel she was a tall woman with short straight brown hair and not very nice to look at she always looked sort of creepy and I think she had got mental problems?. No in fact I know she had mental problems.

When mom went out in the daytime she left Meg and I with Hazel who would then lock us in our bedroom. The door to our bedroom was very old it looked like it had been made out of old planks of wood and it had got big gaps in it, Hazel would push this big carving knife through the gaps in the door she also had a white sheet over her head and would make weird noises she knew we could see her through those big gaps in the door, as you can imagine we were petrified we really thought it was a ghost.

We had suffered this torture for months then one day Meg lost it she was screaming hystericaly and tried to jump out of the bedroom window the only thing that saved her was a metal bar down the middle of the window and her puppy fat I too was so scared that I wet my pants and was screaming for help but nobody came.

Not long after that Meg became very ill with scarlet fever, dad put Meg a bed down stairs so she would be warm and easier to look after or so dad thought. Mom was still going out and leaving us with that maniac baby sitter but at least we got to stop downstairs away from that ghost.

Hazel made me stop in bed with Meg only I had to stay just under the top blanket, in those days blankets were made of pure wool and were course and itchy I scratched myself nearly all day. Mom came home late and she had only been in a few minutes when dad walked in from work he asked me what I was doing in bed have you been naughty? No I replied I just had too, don’t tell lies mom said as she pulled me out of the bed. It is no wonder she can not sleep at night if she is in that bed all day dad said looking sternly at mom, he knew she was lying. I was just about to say she had been out all day when mom pulled me into the kitchen, get and wash your hands ready for tea she said and keep that mouth of yours shut if you know what is good for you.

We all sat and ate our tea In silence with mom scowling at me. The lady who lived next door was lovely she too looked after us sometimes we kept in touch with her after we both had grown up. It was her that had told us about our mom’s days out with different lorry drivers. There she was out having fun and lord knows what else well actually I do know now but it does not help we were still left and being tortured by that loony Hazel.

Meg finely got better but then it was back to being locked in our bedroom or the shed at the top of the garden but at least there were no ghosts up there either, this went on for over a year we were now two nervous wrecks. This one day Meg and I were left with the lady next door but mom did not come to collect us like she normally did so our neighbour gave us our tea. When dad came to take us home he looked very upset he then told us that mom had gone and would not be coming back, she had gone back to Manchester with one of her lorry drivers. Dad then told us that we would be going to live with his parents who lived in a little village called Broom it was only only a few miles away so we packed all of our belongings ready to leave.

On Sunday morning dad said we could go to Sunday school to say our goodby’s I did not want to go so Meg went on her own it was only a few doors down the road when dad arrived back from taking Meg he talked me into going but I said I am going on my own, Okay dad said but I could see him peeping round the front door to make sure I got there. When I got inside the first door in the passage way I could hear them all singing I was still unsure about going in so I waited outside and kept peeping through the big keyhole. When they came out to go home I told Meg not to tell dad that I had not been in.

The following morning we came down for breakfast dad looked at me and said what is the matter with your eye? I don’t know I replied it keeps running, smiling at me dad said that will teach you to peep through keyholes. I now know he was joking, but I then dropped myself right in it and asked him how did you know, I then had to tell him the truth and that I had made Meg lie for me. Don’t tell lies again dad said as he walked away with a big smile on his face.

When we arrived at nan’s she was waiting for us at her front gate Meg and I called her nanny glad because her name was Gladys and we would know which nan we were talking about. Nanny Glad never seemed to change she looked the same when we were grown up as she did when we were little she was a short plump lady with pure white hair which was short and slightly curly nan always wore her apron and glasses she also had a club hand which Meg and I always thought that nan’s fingers and thumb had been cut off because she only had stumps, It was amazing what nan could do with that club hand she could carry a jug of custard on it do her knitting it did not seem to stop her from doing anything.

Grandad on the other hand was a very short thin creepy looking man with ginger hair which was thinning on top he always wore a cap and in his trousers he had that hairy sort of string instead of a belt. Grandad also had a little dog called maidie she was lovely and very affectionate.

Chapter Two

New Home

We settled in at nanny Glads but dad was sad because he was missing mom and nanny Glad had forbid us ever to talk about her. The next morning dad had gone to work and nanny Glad said I had to go to work with grandad while Meg would go with nan. Nanny Glad worked in the big farm house across the road from where they lived nan did the house keeping and grandad looked after the live stock. I was really excited I loved animals and it would only be in the mornings until nan finished work at lunch time.

Grandad went to work very early in the morning to start milking the cows it was done by hand in those days straight into a tin bucket he would then come home at breakfast time with our days supply of milk. After grandad had eaten his breakfast I would go back to work with him. We would feed the chickens and collect there eggs grandad also taught me how to milk the cows, and the first time I managed to get a drop of milk into the bucket the dam cow kicked the bucket over it had taken me ages to get that little drop of milk I was not very happy. But that was the least of my worries because my grandad had started to sexually abuse me his teaching me how to milk the cows was also a good way for him to teach me how to masturbate him. Grandad said if I told anyone what we were doing I would be put in Dr. Barndoes home for children especially as I had not got a mother to look after me.

The following morning I asked nanny glad if I could go to work with her and Meg? But she said no I can not cope with both of you I then had a tantrum but I still had to go with grandad, nearly every day he would make me play with his penis while he put his hand inside of my pants. I use to get so sore that when I spent a penny it would sting horribly. This went on for months I could not wait for my fifth birthday so I could start school and be out of his way. I was very scared of grandad because he always looked so evil and when we were sat at the dining table he would look across at me with a horrible smirk on his face I can still see it now when I close my eyes.

Then one Friday evening dad came home from work and said we