The Lovers Grim

By Aruja King

This book is the first of the Grim trilogy of short stories, written by Aruja King. Each story showcases different scenarios encountered by single women. Some are surreal, some fantasy, some gritty and real and some just downright absurd. The writer uses fast witty dialogue and black humour to illustrate events. Many of the stories have a twist in the ending.

The show starts with AL, a story about a woman's encounter with an alien sent to earth from his home planet to do research on earth women, with hilarious results. The Writers' Circle deals with the awkwardness of a cougar conducting a relationship with a much younger man. Grey Areas deals with forbidden love in an era of segregation. In the rest of the stories you will encounter swinger's parties, blind dates, infidelity, psychopaths and unrequited love, all told in the author's unique tongue- in- cheek style. This book will have something that all women of all ages will be able to relate to.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Dec 3, 2010
• ISBN: 9781456816506

Book preview

Al

What on earth do you want! Angela’s question meant quite literally as she stared red-eyed angrily in the lamplight at the green alien with very obvious ill-meaning appendages standing at the foot of her bed. The feared expected answer finally burbled through, from what orifice was uncertain.

Djoo! it said.

Great. Learned English from listening to rap music, like all the second language English students in her class. Was there no escaping bad grammar and pronunciation anywhere in the universe? Angela thought, whilst a firm and very decided look of terror sprawled across her face.

Nothing could have prepared her for what happened next.

The creature burst into song.

I wanna make love to you djoooo . . . oooo, in the most pseudo soulful whine, that the dog outside started howling. Angela forgot her terror and screeched with laughter, nearly wetting her very sexy ‘if-I-had-to-go-to-hospital-and-there-is-a-very-hot-paramedic-on-duty-cause-you-should-always-be-ready silk ribboned nightie.

What the hell was that? she managed to exclaim through choking. The alien slumped to the floor in a dejected pose, detectable in any life form.

I was trying to be romantic, it stammered rather pathetically close to what could have been tears if it was capable of crying. Angela wasn’t sure.

She felt a momentary pang of guilt, but was now relishing the power shift.

The manual said that Earth women like romance, it said quietly regaining its composure.

Well I didn’t find that particularly romantic. It was pretty awful in fact. No offense.

Hmm, it sighed . . . then looked close to tears again. I am such a failure, it moaned cupping its face in something that appeared to be its hands.

Oh no, insecure too, thought Angela. Why did I leave the window open!

Let me explain, it began. I was sent to find out more about the mating of humans. My mission is to mate with a human female and report back.

Well that is never going to happen with me! exclaimed Angela, rather shocked at his presumptuousness.

There are women you can pay for that sort of thing and it is called having sex.

But you are the first woman I have seen and I am not supposed to be noticed. Please help me!

I most certainly will not! said Angela.

But I thought human females found sex fun?

Well yes, but I’m firstly not in the least bit attracted to you, and secondly I want to be in love and have some level of commitment before I have sex.

What is commitment? it asked.

Angela rolled her eyes. A universal problem clearly.

It is when two people decide to form a bond of trust and loyalty and decide to be together exclusively.

I don’t understand, it replied.

You wouldn’t be the first. she sighed.

I’m sorry, they sent me here in such a hurry I didn’t get a chance to read the manual on human men!

Well that’s a relief! replied Angela, sensing a glimmer of hope.

I can change! it whined.

I have heard that before. grunted Angela.

I mean I can transform into a human shape. Then will you have sex with me?

Well why didn’t you say that before, her curiosity overriding her tight moral standards . . . and the night was getting on.

I read that women like powerful human men? it asked.

Yes, that sounds good. said Angela, wringing her hands.

His blob like frame trembled, his appendages slipped back into the vibrating mass, the room shook, his body formed a rainbow tornado that burnt the carpet, then suddenly a man stood silent, naked and smirking in front of her.

Aaaagh! she screamed in even bigger terror, pulling the bedclothes over her head. The dog howled again.

George W. Bush stood before her.

What’s wrong? he drawled, the voice horrifyingly accurate.

You really have no idea do you? said Angela, poking her head out from the bedclothes, but keeping one hand safely over her eyes.

Can you not take a unique designer human form? she pleaded.

I’ll try, it said in a rather deflated American twang, What would you like?

Well, let me think. Angela thought hard, then threw him a glossy magazine she had at the side of her bed. Have a look at the men in there and base your new look on that . . . and do something about your body odour please!

Sorry, long trip.

The noise and commotion repeated itself. When it ceased, Angela nervously peeled her hand from her eyes.

Wow! Now that’s even better than the cologne ad guy and you smell great. Well done!

Now can we have sex? it asked in a desperate human way.

Do you have any idea what to do?

I didn’t miss that manual, he said in a smooth confident voice, slipping his hand under the bedclothes and up Angela’s goose-bumped leg.

The morning light blazed through the gap in the curtain, the birds chirped loudly outside and Angela liked the sound that day. Al, the name she had given him, was retaining his shape and smell perfectly and lay sleeping and wonderfully unsnoring beside her.

‘Yay!’ it wasn’t a dream, she thought and wondered if he could leave that manual here.

Morning Angela, he murmurred.

Eee! he remembered my name.

After last night do you think I’d forget? he said smiling.

How did you know what I was thinking?

Oh, that’s just a side effect, I believe I’ve tuned into you now. he replied.

Are there any other side effects? You can’t make me pregnant can you? she asked worried, having forgotten about that possibility.

No, don’t worry, we are too genetically different, but there could be other effects. You are my first human female, remember.

Will there be others then? asked Angela feeling suddenly possessive.

No, I only needed one. You are definitely enough. I have never felt like this before, it’s the most fantastic feeling ever, even better that dodging asteroids at high speed.

Thank you, I suppose, said Angela, humming her ‘if-you’re-happy-and-you-know-it hum rather loudly.

Can I make you breakfast in bed? The romantic manual said that women like that.

Well who ever wrote it got that bit right. Who did write these manuals anyway?

I don’t know. I think it was compiled by some old guy who works at the university of inter-species studies. He researched movies and tapped into radio frequencies and actually visited here and spied on people, in the days when interaction was outlawed.

Well I’m sure glad they turned the law around, or I would have never met you.

Let me go and make you breakfast, the beautiful man said.

Ok, she glowed. Just be careful of my dog Xena, she is funny with strangers.

Don’t worry, I read the pet manual too. Angela’s face took on a puzzled look.

No, he answered her thoughts, I thought they looked cute and I was interested to learn more about them. I am not a sicko, I came here just for human sex and yes there will only be you. It must be hard being a real human man he thought.

Oh no! I have to work, she said to herself, looking at the time. She grabbed her phone whilst the sweet smell of toast and the sound of excited tail wagging came wafting through her door.

Luckily Marcy was home and agreed to stand in for her. Angela resumed her humming, then stopped to listen to the curious noise coming from the kitchen. Al and Xena were talking. The dog would make strange noises, then Al would reply in woofs and yelps. My dog likes him!

Her dog didn’t like anyone who liked her . . . . but then again they had not been like Al.

Angela’s mother had always told her that she deserved better than what was on this planet and that’s why she was alone.

The door swung open and Al emerged with a tray. Still naked, chiselled, bronze and gorgeous.

Out of this world indeed. He passed Angela a tray of freshly buttered toast, jam, coffee and juice. He looked sad.

Thanks, that is perfect, said Angela. Are you ok?

I’m so sorry you have been through so much pain, and that you are so lonely. I really hope me being here has helped. Your dog told me. he said.

Angela looked up surprised and embarrassed.

It doesn’t make any sense, he continued, why so many wonderful people, and I am sure there are more like you who have to suffer on this planet. It doesn’t seem right. It’s not like that at home.

Angela said nothing, but put jam on her toast and took a bite. It tasted good, but the tears came helplessly, as if an ancient gate of self control had just collapsed, and flowed freely down her face.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Your dog was just worried about you.

Angela got up and went into the bathroom. I love you, Xena. she called faintly to her dog. She was answered by a weak tail wag. She paused and slumped over the sink, then made a grab for a handful of toilet paper to wipe away her tears. She opened her eyes and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes that were usually brown, shone bright green back at her. The shock jolted her back in alarm. Al stood in the doorway and she turned to him.

It’s just a side effect I think, he said, as she fell into his arms.

He picked her up and carried her to the bed, placing her down gently. They made love again. Angela fell in and out of consciousness, enjoying each caress and each new sensation like she had never felt before. So this is what it was supposed to be like? To feel like someone actually loved her, she thought as her body spiralled in joy and ecstasy. She felt beautiful for the first time. She felt whole.

They awoke again in darkness. A glorious day had passed. With the night came a new fearful revelation. Al?

Yes, said a content, but tired voice.

How long before you have to return home?

A painful silence erupted, then a sigh. I can only stay two more days. My body can’t handle the atmosphere here for longer than that, especially with the shape changing. More than two days and I might die. he replied.

Angela stroked his hair and leaned over to kiss him. Either option filled her with dread. He had to go. Her tears came again, but slow trickles, falling unseen in the darkness. There was no point in crying over the