A Nickel's Worth of Time

By Linda J. Crider

This book is an adult's novel of nostalgia and childhood adventure. It revolves around a boy named Joey, his best friends; Harland and Jimmy, and his family. The setting is Southern Appalachia in the 1950's.

Joey's family consist of Mama and Papa, Aunt May and Uncle Ed. There's also Uncle Luther, who moves to Alaska to get rich working on the pipe line, and his super special companion and confidant, Grandpa. Then there's the Damn Yankee side of the family. They consist of Uncle Harve and his wife Judy, Uncle Fred and his floozie friend Ruby, better known as, "Sweet Thing".

Joey is especially drawn to Harland and Jimmy and they find themselves in and out of mischief almost daily after Joey and his parents move to town.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 1, 1997
• ISBN: 9781469108193

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

GRANDPA AND THE CHURCH

HOMECOMING

Mama was so upset, she didn’t know whether to cuss or cry when she realized why Grandpa couldn’t stand up straight. Papa, she pleaded, how could you do this to me? You know this is Homecoming Day at the church.

Grandpa kinda’ giggled and stumbled to the couch. Well Sister, he hiccuped, we better get along then. We don’t want to be late.

Mama grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured it full of coffee. She took it to him. Tears ran down her cheeks and dripped onto her new yellow flowered dress. Drink this, Papa, she said. Luther isn’t here yet and maybe, just maybe, we can get you sobered up before then.

Church Homecoming and Decoration was the biggest social event of the year in the small Tennessee town where we lived. Folks came from miles around to visit and show off how well they had done in the past year, or to check up on and spread gossip about the ones that didn’t show up. You just didn’t miss Homecomings where we lived. Mama said it could start rumors that would spread and grow for a whole year before you could set things straight. ‘Course Papa was excused ‘cause he was a traveling salesman for a big hardware chain. He checked on all the nuts and bolts, making sure all the stores kept up on their stock.

I was all dressed up in my best pants and a new shirt, bought special for the occasion. My hair was fresh washed, and oiled down so that every hair was in place. We were going to ride to the church with my Uncle Luther because he had a new ’51 Ford, and besides, we didn’t have any other way to get there. Mama had been up for hours-frying chicken, making biscuits and cornbread, and fixing lots of vegetables too.

Everything sure smelled good. Mama was a good cook, and everyone always complimented her on her cooking when the dinner was over.

Grandpa drank the coffee and Mama got him another cup. He drank it straight down, then his face got real white. Mama helped him up and he stumbled to the back porch where he got awful sick.

Uncle Luther walked in the front door and said, Hey Joey, is your mama and grandpa ready? I bet Miss Ellen already has the song books passed out.

Grandpa’s sick and Mama’s crying. They’re on the back porch, I said.

Uncle Luther went straight on through the house to the porch. I heard him say, I’ll take over, June. It’ll be okay. He’s gonna’ be fine now. Go fix him some soda water.

Grandpa still looked pretty sick to me as he went and laid down on his bed.

Mama and Uncle Luther was in the kitchen. I didn’t go in. I just stayed in the living room and listened. I didn’t think Grandpa getting drunk was so bad. Joe Akins’ pa got drunk every Saturday night and his mama didn’t cry. ‘Course folks did call him a sot. Once I asked Mama what that meant and she said I wasn’t ever to say Mr. Akins or anyone else was a sot ever again. Maybe Grandpa was a sot now. I’d ask Joe what that meant. He was older and pretty smart. Uncle Luther poured himself a glass of water while Mama just walked back and forth across the kitchen floor. She sobbed, Papa’s seventy-eight years old, and I swear, Joey has more sense than he does. There’s no way he can go to Homecoming today. He’s really soused. I should have suspected something when he kept slipping up to the barn. I just can’t believe he would pull such a childish trick.

Where did he get it? Uncle Luther asked.

That Homer Johnson, Mama said. I bet he brought it yesterday when he came by and said he needed to borrow Papa’s hay bailing hook. They stayed up at the barn an awful long time. I’ll tell you now, that Homer’s not worth the salt it takes to season his bread.

Now, June, Uncle Luther said, don’t talk like that. It’s Sunday, and Joey don’t need to hear you saying things like that. Let’s get Papa up and see how he is. Maybe he’s sober enough to go now since he’s thrown up and rested some.

I peeped in the bedroom door and saw Grandpa. He was just laying there on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. I guessed he was feeling sorry for ruining the Homecoming plans and making Mama cry.

Uncle Luther walked past me and into the bedroom. Papa, are you okay? he asked.

Yeah, I think so, Grandpa answered.

Well, Uncle Luther continued, let’s get you up and see where to go from here.

Grandpa, even if he was seventy-eight years old, was a spry little man with grey hair and sparkling blue eyes. He always wore overalls and blue chambray shirts. He liked to tell funny stories and he always laughed a lot. He came to live with me and Mama and Papa when Grandma died. I think maybe it was a year or two ago. Papa said it made him feel better to have Grandpa here, with him being on the road so much.

Said a man had to support his family even if he couldn’t stay home to do it. I missed Papa when he was gone on the road, but Grandpa kinda’ made up for Papa not being around much. Grandpa drank three more cups of coffee and walked around the house about four times. Then Uncle Luther loaded the food into the car and we were off to the church. We would be there in time for dinner and the afternoon singing. We had already missed the cemetery preaching, but I didn’t care.

Mama always made me stay with her. I didn’t get to explore the woods around the cemetery like the older kids. Mama said it was disrespectful to the dead to be inattentive.

Yeah, I was kinda’ glad we had missed the morning at the graveyard. It was always the same thing. Bertha Simpson shouted hallelujah and amen for a while after the preacher finished his sermon. Then everybody cried and hugged and testified and said they’d be joining their loved ones soon.

Miss Ellen would start singing and then the babies would start crying, and finally they’d pray again and then we’d stop for dinner.

Maybe Grandpa didn’t like the morning services either and just couldn’t bring himself to tell Mama.

We got to the church just as the big wooden tables were being filled to overflowing with southern mountain cooking at its best. All the boys threw acorns and played in the creek, and the men talked about their crops and the weather or some big future plans. The girls helped the women put the food on the table and admired each others’ dresses or talked about how the boys had changed since last Homecoming. This was always the best part of the day.

Joe Akins, he was about twelve, always managed a surprise or two. Today, he had brought a big old bullfrog. It was in a bucket, and when he took the lid off, that frog headed straight for the graveyard. I looked down at the far end where the big angel tombstone stood, and there was Grandpa saluting that angel. I could hear him talking and felt kinda’ queasy in my stomach. I wished Papa was here ‘cause I knew Mama would get upset all over again when she found out about this.

I ran over to the church steps where Uncle Luther was talking to Mr. Simpson and I said, Uncle Luther, I don’t think Grandpa’s feeling too good again.

He said, Where is he?

I pointed in the direction I had seen him. When we got there, he was still saluting. He had his other hand over his heart and was pledging allegiance to the United States of America.

Come on, Papa, Uncle Luther sighed. You’re not as sober as I thought.

I’m sober as a judge, said Grandpa rather loud. I’m just paying my patriotic duty to Silas here or Gabriel, or whatever his name is. We weren’t here to respect the departed today. We were late as I recall.

Uncle Luther looked rather bewildered and sad when he saw the little bottle sticking out of Grandpa’s overall bib pocket.

Reaching to get it he said, Joey, tell your mama we’re going home. Just tell folks that your grandpa was having some trouble with the heat and I took him home. You and your mama can get a ride home with Miss Ellen.

We stumbled through the cemetery, trying to keep Grandpa from falling. When we finally got him in the car, Uncle Luther got in on the driver’s side, cranked the car and left. I went to give Mama Uncle Luther’s message. She was crying when I got over to the table where she was standing. I think somebody had already told her about Grandpa. Miss Ellen was fanning Mama with her apron. Reverend Hawkins was there too and he looked at Mama and then to me.

Joey, he said, is your grandpa sick? What happened to him?

Nah, he’s okay, I said quiet-like, ‘cause Mama was still crying. Uncle Luther just took him home so he could cool off. I’m not for sure or certain, but I think he’s just a sot.

CHAPTER 2

ICEBOX DILEMMA

We really was the talk of the church community for quiet a while after everybody found out about Grandpa. Mama said she didn’t want to show her face in public after such shame had been inflicted upon her. Uncle Luther thought it was kinda’ funny. Said it gave everybody something new to talk about.

I heard Papa telling Mama if she would answer my questions truthful when I asked something, and watch Grandpa a little closer, it would sure make her life a lot easier. I felt sorry for Grandpa. Mama growled at him for about a week. Then Papa came home with moving news, and somehow Grandpa’s drinking before the Homecoming was forgot about. When we moved from the boondocks, closer to town, I thought we had it made. Running water, electricity and indoor plumbing was something we weren’t used to. Town folks took all this stuff for granted, but not Mama. She’d been trying to get Papa to move closer in, she called it, for a long, long time. When Papa got promoted to pipes and plumbing, he bought a farm on the outskirts of town. I guessed we were nearly city folks then. Anyway that’s what Grandpa called us. Only bad thing about this promotion and move thing was that Papa was on the road more then than when he was in nuts and bolts.

Uncle Luther bought us a second-hand refrigerator about three months after we moved in. Said nobody in town used iceboxes any more. Mama was just thrilled to pieces. Grandpa even grinned when he opened the door and the little light was on. It took all of us to get that old icebox out on the back porch and that shiny new refrigerator off the delivery truck and into the kitchen.

Uncle Luther said, June, you need to have that old relic hauled off to the garbage dump. It won’t be so heavy once all the ice melts.

About two months had passed and that icebox was still sitting on the back porch, blocking Mama’s view of the garden.

Every two or three days Mama would say, Papa, when are you going to do something with that icebox?

Grandpa would always answer, Well Sister, I’ll get around to it. I got to get me some help first and Norman’s never around long enough. You should have married a man with a regular job.

That’s always when he’d start mumbling about the chickens needing to be fed.

Come on, Joey, he’d say. I need help out at the barn.

Mama would sigh and me and Grandpa would head out the door to the barn. We fed those chickens so much they wouldn’t even eat the bugs off the lettuce leaves.

Got to find somebody with a truck, he said one day while we sat in the hall of the barn watching it rain. Your mama’s patience is about gone, and if I don’t get that icebox off that porch pretty soon, I will be too. She’s about ready to wring my neck.

I didn’t really believe Mama would hurt Grandpa. She loved him as much as I did. He was always being funny and making