Abortion V. God’S Amazing Grace: A Memoir, Forgiven—Only by the Grace of God

By Ada Love

Each one of us has made choices in our lives that we regret. Some of these choices have minimal consequences, while other choices we have made can cause devastating outcomes.

In her book, Abortion v. Gods Amazing Grace, the author shares just that sort of choice that can have lifelong effects. Her choice to have an abortion was made at a moment when all she could hear were lies. Then, after it was too late to undo what she had done, truth was heard, reality set in, and the pain and hopelessness became unbearable.

Thankfully, God does not leave us without hope. Through the authors story, you will see how God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, takes our sin, pain, and destruction and brings forgiveness and hope to our lives. You will witness a God who takes our brokenness and over and over again demonstrates His powerful love, forgiveness, grace, and healing. The author will share that God is always there. He is always love, and He waits to make each one of us whole.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 27, 2013
• ISBN: 9781449797768

Ada Love

Ada is ready to share her journey. She has found forgiveness and grace, yet the process has not been overnight, not in a few days or even months. God and Ada have been on a journey for years and will continue this journey until she meets Jesus face to face.

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Copyright © 2013 ADA LOVE.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Some of the names in this book have been changed.

Scritpture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION.

Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-4497-9777-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-9778-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-9776-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013910263

WestBow Press rev. date: 6/26/2013

Table of Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Section I: The Beginning

1 Confusion and Fear

2 Saved at Seven

3 School Days

4 Childhood and Teen Years

5 First Boyfriend

6 New Relationship

7 In the Car

8 The Decision

9 Choosing a Convenient Date

10 Day of Denial

11 The Wedding

Section II: Opened Eyes, Opened Heart

12 Desire to Have a Baby

13 God’s Precious Gift

14 Trying to Find Normal

15 A Desire to Have Another Baby

16 Second Precious Little Life

17 Change Again

18 Holidays or Just Any Other Day

19 The Awakening

20 In a Whisper

21 Darkness and Light

22 Letter of Truth

Section III: I Am With You Always

23 God’s Love

24 Separation

25 Never Alone

26 Pain and God’s Presence

27 Faithful Friends

28 Forgiving

Section IV: Redeemed

29 Celebration of Life Walk

30 Forgiven and Set Free

31 A New Understanding of Easter

32 Telling My Mom

Section V: Faith and Hope

33 A New Journey

34 Seeking Closure

35 Moving

36 Children’s Voices

Section VI: God’s Faithfulness

37 Beaten and Bruised

38 Flashbacks

39 Separating the Abuse from the Abortion

40 The Darkest Hour

41 God’s Sustaining Grace: Being Carried

Section VII: Comfort

42 One Baby Saved

43 The Banquet

44 I Saw Your Tears Tonight

45 Around the Throne

46 No Longer A Wretch

Comment

My Prayer for You

Personal Prayer for Forgiveness

Prayer for Salvation

Afterword

Silent No More

…Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.

—Acts 18:9-10

To my sons: you are loved, and you are gifts from God.

Foreword

Everyone possessing the motivation and courage to read this book will be changed by the message of its words. The topics of abortion and abuse are at best controversial. They divide homes, families, communities, and churches. When we decide what we believe about abortion and abuse, we hold firmly to those beliefs. People march for and picket against the procedure of abortion. We disagree about the moment human life begins. The topic of abortion ignites the most passionate arguments. Conversations and debates about domestic violence and abuse uncover assumptions about marriage relationships, parenting rights, and blame. Many people choose to be silent rather than engage in the conversation. In both of these volatile situations, the powerless have no voice. Ada, through her words in this book, gives a voice to those who are powerless: the unborn child, the frightened teenager, the abused wife, and the bruised child.

Why write a book about your personal journey through confusion, fear, pain, and hopelessness? Who would want to read the details of a life broken, beaten, and given up for lost? Probably very few readers would make a choice to dive into the misery of the aftermath of abortion and abuse through the words of a book. That is, if the book stopped at the misery and hopelessness. If the whole book were a message of defeat, I wouldn’t be writing this foreword. Ada has courageously written her journey of forgiveness, hope, acceptance, and healing. We are its benefactors.

There are books, articles, and advertisements we can read about healing that make promises of simple, easy, and instantaneous healing. The problem with those pieces is that they are discouraging to the person who wishes that her or his own healing from life’s pain and mistakes were instant, on demand, and easy. Ada has written about the process of healing from deep injury realistically. There are no false promises, magic methods, or hidden agendas. She clearly presents the hope in knowing that God is always there, even in the times when additional healing is necessary.

The metaphor of the healing of a physical wound, such as a deep cut, is helpful when trying to comprehend the process of emotional and spiritual healing. In order for us to experience complete healing, the infection beneath the scab must be cleansed. This cannot be done while the scab is fully intact. To heal deep emotional and spiritual wounds, we must remove the scab and clean out the infection, and then we must allow the wound to heal with time. Removing the scab can be frightening and bring pain for a moment. We often resist facing our emotional wounds because they bring us the experience of shame, unworthiness, guilt, and sadness. Without this step, we are unable to see what fuels our continual struggles, whether they be in building relationships, managing anxiety, coping with stress, or developing confidence. The process of healing must be repeated as we journey through life, but we will find that the cut is not as deep after each healing phase, our emotional wound is not as debilitating, and our spiritual development is more mature. Ada shows how God brings about opportunities to face the infection of our wound and how God allows for healing through forgiveness and acceptance at these phases in our lives.

You have in your hands a powerful account of amazing love, healing, and courage; it is courageous to share a life with others in order to show the love of God and, through this love, hope. Through her words, Ada gives a voice to the powerless, a vision of healing to the broken, and a message of God’s unending love to the downtrodden. This is a book that has a message for us all. Thank you, Ada, for having the courage to follow God’s leading in your life and for sharing your journey of healing with us.

Glena L. Andrews, PhD

Professor of Psychology

Acknowledgments

Thanks to Pastor Tim, Joy, Kathleen, Ann, and Whitley for your unconditional love, support, and encouragement when I needed it most. I thank God for your commitment to Him and love for Him and for sharing that love and your lives with me. I am forever grateful.

Thanks to Glena for your support and being God’s instrument as the final pages of this book were completed.

Thanks and appreciation to my husband for your support and for listening as the pages of this book came together.

And to God, I am eternally thankful for Your forgiveness, unconditional love, and amazing grace.

Introduction

If you have chosen to read this book because you have longed to be free from the pain and torment of your decision to have an abortion, then this book was written for you. The words that you are about to read are wrapped in compassion and love for you. If you are reading this book because of a choice you made in the past that now consumes the present, then we already have a common bond, and I hope these pages will help you find forgiveness, healing, and freedom. This is what I pray and desire for you.

I struggled, felt isolated, and was afraid for years because I worried that others would find out about my abortion. I desire that your path to healing is in God’s timing and in His way, but I also desire to move along beside you in this process.

I pray that as you read this book, you will be completely surrounded by the love and presence of Jesus and that you will know how much He loves you. He died for you because of that love. He will forgive you, and He wants to heal you and set you free.

Take His hand on this journey as you read the pages that follow. I am praying for you, and the Holy Spirit is interceding on your behalf. Let God’s love surround you, and rest in His gentle and safe arms as you read. You are not alone. You are loved. You can find forgiveness and freedom. I know because I have journeyed this path, and I found this forgiveness and freedom.

I have come to know, in a very special way, the reality of God’s amazing grace, and I know that this same grace is waiting for you.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you.

—2 Corinthians 13:14

I can’t get my mind to wrap around what I have done—my heart can’t begin to touch this reality.

I am forgiven—only by the grace of God.

Section I

The Beginning

1

Confusion and Fear

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.

—1 Corinthians 14:33

How could this be happening? My mind screamed as my heart sobbed. The wedding was four months away, and the call I had just made confirmed my pregnancy. I was supposed to be planning for a wedding, not a baby. I had grown up in the church. I was a Christian and was always looking for ways to encourage others in their faith. Nothing was making sense. All I could think about now was what my parents and all the people in my church would think of me. I sat in the bathroom, sobbing, not knowing what to do with this life-changing information.

On this very day, my fiancé was remodeling the kitchen in the house that we would be living in after the wedding. This new information did not fit with the activities of the day. I made my way over to share the news with him …

A few weeks earlier, the weekend we were to announce our engagement, I had become very ill. I’d had a high temperature and had been vomiting. At the time, I’d had no idea what was wrong. We went ahead with our dinner engagement party with our families and announced our engagement. I had received my ring in the church parking lot after the Sunday morning service that day. I was excited. Wasn’t this the day all young women look forward to celebrating?

Another week passed, and I missed my period. Things began to seem strange. In the back of my mind my biggest fear was haunting me. I pushed it out—there’s no way I could be pregnant, I told myself, wanting desperately to believe this.

I lay awake, night after night, praying to God that what I feared was not true. I begged and pleaded. I cried and said, God I will do anything, but please don’t let me be pregnant.

My fiancé and I talked very little about the possibility of my pregnancy, but one day we did finally talk. My fiancé very casually said, You’ll get rid of it—you’ll have an abortion.

I couldn’t believe he said this. I had never even thought about an abortion. The only thing I had thought about was how I was going to tell my parents about the pregnancy. I believed it would devastate them. They had always trusted me completely. How could I ever tell them their daughter was pregnant?

An abortion wasn’t an option for me until my fiancé and I discussed it. Then, before I really knew what happened, the discussion was over.

The matter seemed to be settled. I guess I began to view it as an out, an escape to facing the truth. If I got rid of it, then I would never have to