I Sing, Does That Mean I Am Happy …

By Autumn W. Fisher

Although this book was painful to write, having to dredge up the garbage from my early life, I forged on, seeing that there are far too many suffering abuse or the lasting effects of it, such as hurts, inward and outward, scars, bitterness, anger, and even hate. Some of these are misplaced. Instead of it coming out toward the source of their abuse, it is usually directed toward the ones who try to help or by uncontrolled fits of anger on otherwise insignificant matters. Even if there was only one suffering, that is one too many! I also seek to reach the abuser in this book. I do understand that there are just as many factors that have caused or are driving others to do such hideous things as there are the abused. Maybe you didnt mean to or you felt power when you did these things, but no matter, God can and will forgive you! I believe this book would be a much-needed asset to any church, school, library, and home; it is meant to give hope and direction to the hurting, to help the one who finds themselves in a no-win situation because of their actions, and finally to heighten awareness in our families, communities, and in our churches that abuse is real, has many faces, and is standing right in our way. Making people aware will bring about a positive change and, with God, we can stop this life-altering crime!

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 27, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490824055

Autumn W. Fisher

Like all of you, I was born. The specifics ie; place of birth, names of parents, race, or ages etc., are not important. Very early in my life I became a victim of abuse, it came in various forms. Being very young when it began I never even thought about it not being normal. It never occurred to me that it was wrong, to me it was my life, there was no way for me to know any different. Later, when I was about nine or ten, I was shocked to learn; this is not normal, not everyone goes through this. My life changed drastically that day! Even though I was still being abused I knew in my mind that this should not be happening and it needs to stop! I, from that day on, began plotting a way for that to happen, how and when, I did not know, but I wasn't going to give up until then. I did escape the abuse only to have it come back to me through the gut wrenching stories of the many people, both young and old, that I have counseled over these almost forty years. I have made it my business to be about doing God's business. I am very busy counseling and encouraging hurt and damaged lives get to the one that can bring them from being a victim to being VICTORIOUS with God!

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 Autumn W. Fisher.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4908-2404-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-2405-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014901566

WestBow Press rev. date: 01/23/2014

CONTENTS

Book Is Dedication

Introduction

Chapter I.   The Violation

Chapter II.   Keeping Quiet

Chapter III.   Who can I Tell or Trust?

Chapter IV.   What will Happen If I Tell?

Chapter V.   What will People Think of Me?

Chapter VI.   Why did God do this…. I thought He loved me?

Chapter VII.   Should I Hate the Perpetrator?

Chapter VIII.   How Do I Forgive Someone who Doesn’t Believe that They’ve Done Anything Wrong?

Transformation

Letter to the Reader

About the Author

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO:

All the people that caused me a good deal of hurt and such a horrendous unimaginable beginning, without whom I probably would never have perceived the intense need for such a book. Making this book a genuine asset to fellow sufferers along with those who want to know what to watch out for to keep this from happening to you or anyone you know, and to those wanting to learn from others whose tragic recounts betters their understanding in how they can truly be a help to the hurting.

And to my wonderful husband who has stood by me through the writing of this book having to hear a multitude of horrible unfathomable accounts of my earlier life, giving me comfort as well as support, I am truly blessed!

Finally, to my Heavenly Father, His son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit; without the love and care they have given and shown me throughout my whole life thus far I would not have made it. They have kept me safe from death, hate and bitterness, I owe them my talents, my time, my gratitude, but most of all, I owe them the very breath they gave me!

INTRODUCTION

When I was a Junior in high school my English class teacher gave the class a writing assignment. We were to write a paragraph or two, telling a little bit about ourselves. I, like the rest of my class, wrote as we were instructed. After a good while she began laying out our writing schedule as it would be expected from that day forward, until the end of our class year. She told us that we would be expected to write in our journals every class day upon arrival, we would be given fifteen to twenty minutes to do so. We could write about anything, just write something.

WOW, I thought, this is right up my alley. I inherited a love for writing from my father’s side of the family. I started writing when I was very young, around six or seven years of age. I grew up hearing my grandmother’s poetry and stories, they were so fascinating to me. I would sit at her feet begging to hear more. My father, her son, was talented in this area as well as being able to sing and play several musical instruments. I suppose then, that it would seem reasonable that at least one of my father’s six children would inherit this gift as well, that would be me.

Days and weeks passed, one season turning to another; as did the pages of writings in my journal. I wrote about many things, and in various genre’s, mostly poetry. It made me very happy to have been given a time to do what I thoroughly enjoy doing, it gave me an avenue to release a lot of feelings that were pinned up inside of me. I could, and have, on many occasions wrote for hours and still not be ready to quit.

Then one day after our allotted time of writing, much to our surprise, the teacher collected our journals. I was suddenly in a panic, I never thought that these would be read. She rummaged through them halting as she came to mine, I knew it was mine because of the color, it was the only bright yellow one in the room, everybody knew it was mine. She held it, flipping to what I had just written, she was reading it to herself. After, what seemed like eternity, she looked up and straight at me, I couldn’t imagine what she was going to say or do with it. I shrank in my seat hoping to disappear.

You are such a happy girl, you laugh and sing all the time……..how can you write these horribly sad things? There is so much violence, blood, and despair; I don’t understand this………

Oh, wow! I was so embarrassed, my face was burning hot, I knew that it was very red. What was I to say?! I was stunned. I sat motionless, I couldn’t move if