Passing Through: Book Three of My Life

By Deneen Wagner

This book shows the weakness of a young black man. How he related to women and how he treated and was treated by women. It will show the transformation of an out-of-control young black man into a God-fearing loving black man. You will see yourself and laugh as you read Passing Through, the journey of a black mans life. A must-read for all.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Dec 31, 2013
• ISBN: 9781490711522

Deneen Wagner

Life of Deneen Wagner, from the first time as his grandmother had told him about when God put him in God’s world and how she had to raise him and care, protect, and kept him safe in order to grow and to protect himself. She had nothing that made him have anything, but one thing that his grandmother and him had was God and Jesus. Now every creation of God first came from a baby then grows to a child, they had to live. As a child, they had done things that grown-ups can’t understand why a child does strange things. Come on. They understand why; they were a child before they passed on being grown-ups. In God and Jesus’s eyes, you are still a child. Now, the older you get, the more you mature; you see behind you what you did now that don’t make any sense, but did at that time you did it, being a child. But as a little older, you still do things where a day or two passes and you wish you could take it back, still growing up. Now, some never grow up; some keep those childish ways. I call them silly, trapped in the way of growing up. Now don’t be frightened to show a child the right way. Remember, you were once a child—someone showed you. If someone didn’t show you, you could not have said that first word “Daddy.” Mother always push into your little mind, “Say Daddy.” “Can you say Daddy?” That was the word your mother wanted you to know first: Daddy. She knew that you knew who your mother was; she wanted you to know him, Daddy. And some today don't know who their daddy is; all they have and know are what Mother said. Still, some don’t know. I want to tell you a story an old man told me: His name was Ollie Smith. He said a man had left his wife for another woman, and he had to pay child support every week. Then when his daughter got older and he had to pay that last child support check, he made it out and gave it to his daughter and said to her, tell your mother that is the last check she will get, then take a look at the expression on her face. She took the check to her mother and told her what the daddy said. The mother told her daughter to go back and tell him that he paid her twenty years for a daughter that was not his, and to look at his face. Now, what I am saying is, don’t ever believe what you hear and nothing of what you see. It is not what it seems. And never trust in what you see or what you hear, and don’t forget this: in God we trust, and all the other, we monitor. I remember one day a young man that put me on the idea to call what I write about Passing Through; he called me an old man. I said, “Every second, minute, and every day you walk each mile and get up every morning, some day some young man or young lady will say those same words to you.” And what burns me up is when someone talks about what they own; we don’t own anything. Take the soul and the body you should be protecting—you don’t even own that..

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Contents

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Acknowledgments

Life is a gamble. You go to bed to sleep we can’t grantee that we are going to wake up, after we wake up, we should acknowledgment to God. We take time to wake up this morning and see the sun light, breath his air that is God. Go out to see into the world to see others life form, with two legs or more legs, and acknowledgment to them say good morning, it don’t cost you anything but energy. As you pass through the day into this world, and you come back to the same point that you start from, in the same you came from you didn’t have to return safety, thanking God you made it back.

We go through life we don’t know what life are going to throw your way, it may be good or not too good, bad fair could not fair, you have to go with the flow in life while you passing through this world, the cards don’t always fall in your favor.

On March the 3rd-08, I call my son, John Smith. I had sent him one of my books and one of my T-Shirt, and the same to Oprah also. And OBAMA he was running for President of the United State of America. I said that, I didn’t have the time to give to work for him on Election but, he had his vote and he was going to win.

I order some more T. shirts and warm up suits, I sent out too T. shirts to Oprah, Passing Through, unforgotten Love. That night Wade Hooks he call me from Detroit Michigan, he got my number from Eddie Stall worth it Huston Texas, Wade we all played football in Brewton, Alabama at Booker T. Washington high School. My home town I was glad to hear from Wade, I hear from Eddie all the time we call each other all the time, to catch up on the news about how from School buddies and the ladies, that we went to School with.

You see I Love peoples as the Lady, my Mother and my Grandmother they taught me to that, if you have a Woman friend you can make it in life. She said that, she will never leave you if she is a good Woman, but not any woman; some is only for her own self.

Every once I kiss them on her the jaw, just to let her know that, I am thinking about her and that I, Love them. Or sometime I kiss her some were but you know! I kiss some her and laid back to see how, do they like it or Love it. I thought that, I had lost and found my Daughter but? Her name is Lerassi, but she was nothing but in sheep in clothing. I found her nothing but what to be as she was, I was sick and down in and out she turn her back on me, I did everything for her but that, is ok God will take care of her.

Now my stepdad now he is 97 year old Mr. Charlie Russell sr. he raise me and my brothers, now he is in the nursing home he had a heart attack. Now I am in Las Vegas, NV. I can’t see about him, but I call to see about him how is he doing, with my Daughter Jackie. Now he has a son my younger brother, Charlie Russell Jr. He goes off time to time and we don’t know where he are, but they found him and came home. I didn’t know where he was at, until my stepbrother found him Zeb.

You see I found a pain in my back, I didn’t know why. I didn’t need any sex (smile) until it got me down. Joyce my cousin she is my life saver, I owe my life to and Robert her husband, and Mary Helen a Lady friend. About April the year of 08 I still had a crush on Elise, I could not function but that I saw her then everything was ok.

Every one, almost every one I would take the ladies to shop, and the men also to if they need to. One couple that live in the complex, she tried to use me to make her old man jealous, I told her don’t do that! She said why? I said that her old man is in front of me, and don’t do that to me, she said that he flirt! I said well please don’t do that to me, she didn’t like it but I am a man, I respect him.

Now I got down in my back and, I could not hardly walk, one guy he was depend on me to take him to the doctor, his name was Jerry, now I need help myself. Joyce my cousin she gave me a phone number to call, the doctor name is Doctor Brown he was at 1302 w. Creag, I call the doctor they gave me an appointment. A Lady name Loraine Wilson she was my Angel, she was right there when I needed me.

She, after what I did to her, it was not bad but bad enough, I took Elise over her, sometime you don’t know how it is good for yourself, and you looking for someone else and, they are not looking for you. But Loraine she look over what I did she is my Angel, and I Love her. Joyce, Robert and Bobby my play sister I was not playing, I was sick they did everything and anything and Loraine, for help me to ease my pain. Until on the April the 30th. I start feeling better, good. I call my sister Deloise and everyone once or twice a week to let her know how, I was doing, fine. My sisters Margieree Smith she pass on Saturday the 23rd of August 2008, to be with God he know best.

You see I can’t get over Death even though we are going to die, or soon or later we have to get ready when God call, we got to move. Then my baby Brother he pass on Friday on December the 10th, 2008 I could not go to the funeral, I call my Daughter Jackie to give my condone to the rest of the family, his name was (Butch) Charlie John Russell Jr. Then we didn’t tell my stepdad that Butch had pass, later my stepdad pass on Wednesday July the 21st, 2009, his name was Charlie Luke Russell Sr.

Well I was not well so, I could not go to the funeral also, I call Jackie my Daughter to give my condone to the family. I through my whole world was crashing down around me, the Death of my family and the pain of my sicken. What can I do? But God know best. When they put me in jail, I was lost, I follow the leader, I never been to stay sometime, I stayed 15 days and I was lost, I need my freedom. They can have it.

Chapter 1

There is a saying about, if you can make it threw, January, February and you can March on in. but it is not True. April is a fool, May I, got down in my back.

In January 08, I had a pain in my back, it started the last time I, was in Brewton, Alabama. It was June 7, 06. At the Airport in Pensacola, Florida I had another one pain on my back. And I said that it was my old Arthritis. A Lady in the AirPort she asked what wrong, I said that my back was killing me so she gave me a Aleve, I took it and said Thank, She said that was ok and hope that to feeling better.

We got on the airplane, in the seat I, had to Suffering from my back the injury or the Disease, Grief, Anxiety in my back, it came from all the hard work when, I was Young now it took toil in my Health.

Everyone Ask how was I was doing, about my back pain. I said that my back is Hurting, Mother Lee she said, you better drink more water, I told her but I don’t like to drink water.

She said and Laugh with a smile, your back not Hurting, then you will drink more water.

Then after that, I did drink more water for to Month, I slack down a gain to drinking water.

The Lady’s I always protect the Lady, from day one I was born, Every sense I was can remember, when I, am not out in the Center of our Complex siting and talking, the Lady’s they want come out until, I get out their then all the Lady’s come out, Mrs. Lee, Mrs. Bill, Mrs. Russell, Pearl, Rita and Mrs. Queen they are Comfortable and Safe while, I am out there.

We never had any Argument, Quarrel, Dispute but, we Discuss thing’s what we are going to do. And how what time we talk about putting something on the grill, cooking and we Laugh have a good time, then we Disburse and go home or what every.

Valentine is one of my Holiday time, I take the Lady’s Heart with the Chocolate Candy, my sweet Heart. Some said that John Smith he have too Woman, no. that I Love them, how would if, I Love a man would it better, no. I respect him. Would I buy him Chocolate Candy, no way I want something deference like a Woman.

Time fly, when Michelle Dupree, she came up to me with a baby in her arm. She said, look at my Beautiful baby. I said that, yes she is very beautiful, I told Michelle that, I was going to steel her.

Michelle she said that, you will bring her back. I said that then to Michelle, you can go with her. She smile every sense she and her sister, and was my Goddaughter. Their name is Diamond and IEJAAH. Diamond was born October 9, 005.

Almost every day someone who, want to take them to the store, I cut off my computer and take them to the store, and wait on them and bring them back, and park my truck some time, I get back to my book 3 of passing through. I haft to Marketing the book one passing through, it is hard to do I need help, when you don’t have any money. Money is scarce not to common, rarely seen, not plentiful, hard to get. I sold some books but, you know it is slow, some they make promise to get one but, some keep their promise, it is what it is some want me to give them one, but I have to pay for them every book, I get from the publish I haft to pay for them so, they are not free.

Annett she call, and wanted to go and take her cat to the vet, to have the hair cut, then come back to WALMART, I said ok when ? Annett she said tomorrow about 9: am. I said ok, I am putting on my calendar now. Annett she said ok see me in the morning, I said ok.

When I put on the calendar so, that I don’t forget, then I go back to my compute and get back to work on my book, passing through book 3, and try to advertise the other book one passing through, to sale for the public. Some peoples have writer block, you can’t think about to write, the mine come blank. Every time I have a writer block, if, and I see my Goddaughter and Michelle coming in their vehicle, and they are glad to see me.

They speak in a loud voice to that I can hear them, I am not hard hearing, I can recognize them. I speak said hello my baby’s how are you are doing. That I am talking about Michelle, Diamond and IEJAAH, I love them all. They are coming to see Rita, Michelle mother.

If when I am still out in the siting area, and they are leaving from Rita house, the kids always let me know that, they are leaving Michelle she have that beautiful smile on her, I said see you later or be good, good by it mean that want see you anymore, I love you or be good now, little Diamond she would wave and yes, then they go out the gate.

In and out of a day I write in my book, then I, can’t think then, I, cut off the compute and go out to sit, and think get fresh air in my lung, to see if, I can think sometime someone come out and sit and talk, that is my life of John Smith.

Don’t have no woman, I had plenty in my life time, now they are to experience not all but, my Sister, Niece’s, Cousin’s and any other’s then my close Family, that, I can get sex from they are to experience. I don’t need a gold digger trying to get my little money. To send off my second book number 2, I don’t have it.

We try to help your kids, you try to give your kids and your family everything, and if you don’t have anything for yourself. And you try to get ahead and reach for the Rainbow, and it get further and further and further away from it.

On March the 3rd 08, I call my son John and Linda Smith his Wife. To get OPRAL ADDRESS, so that I was going to send her one of my book and a couple of t. shirts, they said ok that, call me back after they get the address, I said ok thank that, I love them, he said love you to.

Then later on my Son he call me, and gave OPRAL Studio address, and I think him and that, I said going to put the book and 2 T-Shirts passing through and Unforgotten love, and send it to OPRAL.

John and I hung up the phone because, I had work to do, someone they had gave me the address in Chicago, they said that OPRAL she had 2 Studio in Chicago, and that she had only one address. That is why I call my Son in Chicago.

After I went and got a big envelope, I put the book passing through and 2 t. shirts, and sent the package off to OPRAL. I said OPRAL is a busy Lady she may not have the time, to read the book but she mite, and if she don’t that is ok but, I sent it off to her.

The next day someone call, about helping OBAMA in his campaign, to help get OBAMA elected for President. Now I don’t have the time to give why? I am writing a book every time I can, other then, if no one else need me to help them, go to the store, move something or what every, there is why I make my money to get by, my social security don’t give me, enough money to pay my bills, rent and food. I haft to hustler to make money to get by, other then, I am going to vote for him that, I make him a promise to that, I am going to vote for him.

Now, I am in knee deep into my thing I, don’t have any time for me that is why I, don’t have no woman not that, I can’t get one but! Joyce she call we talk then before we hung up, I mention about that, I had gave Lois order for t. shirt and warm up suits, over now a month that, I am going to call her, Joyce she said that, Lois had to see her the next day that, she would let her know.

Another woman she live in the complex name Sheeler. She saw me and said John. Did you send OPRAL one of my book, I said yes, and too shirts also. If she read it or not but I sent it out, Sheeler she said why not! I said OPRAL is a busy woman, she doesn’t have time for a nobody like me, Sheeler said well you sent it out like you said, she will read it.

Norman she is my other half of my heart, she, had someone she knew was in town, they was at the Hotel El Cortez downtown 500 Fremont Street, she wanted me to take her and drop her there, she was going to stay overnight, I did that for her, and came back home, I said Norman is cheapen on me but that is ok, I had a bleeding heart.

Later on Sheeler she saw me and gave me OPRAL address, it was not the same address. I said that sent the book and the shirts to OPRAL, I said that, I was not going to send another one. I start to thank if OPRAL she had too address, maybe that it was one of the address that where, I sent the package to maybe, I don’t know! Then I call my son John and ask, did thank OPRAL had too address, he said yes she had 2 address he said, you use the one I gave you right, I said that was yes, he said that she will get it, I said ok thank I will wait for answer from her, he said ok pop talk soon, I said talk soon.

Later on early that night Wade Hooks call me, I was glad to hear from Wade, we went to school together and played football together, Eddie Stall worth he got my phone number.

Wade and talk I said that, I wrote a book call passing through, Wade he said that he was preaching and he wrote a book. I said that was good how was it doing, he did not say the book was doing, so I did not say any more about it, then I said Wade don’t make it the last time to call, you can call anytime and that, I was going to call you. He said ok then we hung up the phone. I said hum, I should have ask how, was his cousin Wilmer doing, well I will ask him when I talk to him again.

We I was out as, I do after 6: pm. In the sitting area I heard that little Joe, he live in the complex, he was at the center down the street they have food there, he was getting something to eat. He was coming back, someone hit him in the wheelchair in the cross walk.

A vehicle hit him and knock the wheelchair out, of the cross walk. The police was call, when the police came the police he said that little Joe, he was wrong the police gave Joe a ticket.

How can you get hit by a vehicle, if the wheelchair was in the cross walk, it will be out of the cross walk after then when the vehicle hit it, you see police can be wrong they are not right all the time.

The next morning about 8: am. My phone ring I answer it, it was my cousin Joyce. She wanted me to open the gate, she was going to the lobby, I open the gate, I said hum Joyce she must have a meeting or she, need to see Betty or someone Joyce she, write health care insurance and she take care of me to, my health I said that she don’t need me so, I was just laid back went to the lobby, I was busy from the lady’s and hug and kiss on the jaw in the lobby, I saw Rita and my Goddaughter Diamond, they came into the lobby, I kiss Rita and hug her then I kiss her and hug Diamond, and said that I love her.

Some of the lady’s, some I can’t do that to them they want more, if I give sex to one every lady want some, you see how it look, I can’t mess around in my complex, I haft to treat all the lady’s the same, if I want peace and will. On the 9th Mary Helen, little Joe sister she call about 7: am to let me know, that someone stolen Marie vehicle, I said what, that was all bang up the window want roll up, someone they must needed a ride to go someplace in a hurry. I ask what time was it, Mary Helen she said it was about 2: pm. I said in the daytime peoples are in the lobby.

On the 10th we was in the lobby, we was talking about water to drink, I said that the water in the sink is ok, nothing wrong with it. The bottle water it is the same water other then, it’s the filter, but the chemical to purify the water from the lakes, river, creeks, and the Ocean.

The same water that God, he form the sky in the cloud call rain.

Annett my friend she call me, that she wanted to go over to WALMART, I ask what time?

She said that about 10: am. I said that was ok see her at that time, she had a cat call gizmo she wanted to take to the vet, first then go to the WALMART, that was ok. We took the cat to the vet and had his hair cut, toe nail cut, and took a bath, I ask what all for cost, she said $75.00, I said that, I could have did that for $50.00, She said no way let’s go on to WALMART. I pull of and went to WALMART, shaken my head.

In WALMART I know some peoples, we talk when we see each other, I was talking about Annett and her cat, I dint know that they was animal lover, I said that this lady she paid $75.00 to a cat name gizmo, I told them what the cat had to have did, I said it look in the face look like someone smack in face flat round, I told her that, I could work on it and save some money, they talk about me said that, I don’t like animal that is why

I talk, I said no, they said John Smith you don’t like cat and dog’s, I had to walk away then I look back, they was smiling and said you better go.

Later on I had to go over to Peat and Doris house, after 3: pm after school. I had talk to the daughter to do some work for me, some art work in the compute. I want to draw a heart, and put the name all seven wife’s, around the heart. Just to know I did love them, if they living or dead. Peat he was at home we talk until the daughter came home. I let her know how to do it and said, can she do it and don’t mess with her school work, if it mess or come in between with school I would get someone else, she said that no it would be alright, I said ok then when you finish let me know, and let me know how much it cost, that I can have your money, she said ok, then Peat and I walk out and talk by my truck for a little while, then I got ready to go, I said that ok see Peat when she call.

Now I was getting my was Social Security money in the bank on the second Wednesday, so what I do get my rent money order for the next month, I pay in advance, I may