Asleep in Jesus

By Vivian Sielaff

In her own struggle with grief, Vivian Sielaff found the path that leads to soul-level healing, and she shares it with you in this powerful book. If you want to recover from your loss, youll find the help you need by reading Asleep in Jesus. - Steve Grissom, founder, Grief Share Grief Recovery Support Groups; founder, The Church Initiative, Inc., Raleigh, North Carolina In Asleep in Jesus, author Vivian Sielaff brings encouragement and hope to Christians who have experienced grief from the unexpected loss of a loved one. In a conversational style, Vivian shares how God comforted her when her husband, a police officer for twenty-two years, died after a struggle with depression related to alcohol dependence and recovery following an unanticipated early retirement. Sections include devotionals; practical ways to cope with your loss; help and hope for those with depression and anxiety; guidance for those struggling with addiction; and encouragement for those dealing with loved ones with depression and addiction. Asleep in Jesus offers hopean eternal hope that those who belong to Jesus are safely held in His hands even as we grieve their absence. Vivians supernatural gift from God in her deepest point of despair is a gift to all of us who need to know we are not alone.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 16, 2013
• ISBN: 9781490805085

Vivian Sielaff

Vivian Sielaff finds great joy in meeting and sharing her love for Jesus and the hope found in Him with those God brings into her path. Vivian has served in various volunteer positions in her community, including a spiritual care ministry at a local hospital. She facilitates at her church in one of the small groups in the Women of the Word Bible study.

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Copyright © 2013 Vivian Sielaff.

Author photo: Diane Shafer Photography

Front cover artwork: Janis Lee Colon

www.Artsyus.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version (NKJV). Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.

Scripture marked NASB is taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright © the Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-0507-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-0506-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-0508-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013914486

WestBow Press rev. date: 8/15/2013

Contents

Acknowledgments

A Tribute to Bill

Heaven

Preface

A Special Note

Prologue

Part 1: Our Story

1 Two Lives Come Together

2 After the Honeymoon

3 The Power of Forgiveness

4 God’s Miracles

5 The Last Nine Months

6 Bill’s Last Days

7 Becoming the Lord’s Widow

8 An Amazing Vision in the Sky

9 Blessings of Comfort

A Daughter’s Memories of Her Dad and How God Comforted Me

10 Life Does Go On

A Word about Widowers

Words of Wisdom for Widows and Widowers

Stay Single or Remarry?

Part 2: Devotionals

1 Give Your Pain to Jesus

2 Cast Your Burden

3 Once Saved, Saved Forever

4 Everyone Needs the Resurrected Savior

5 Leaning on His Bosom

6 There Are Such Days

7 A Wonderful Comforter Indeed

8 Embraced in the Arms of Jesus

9 God is with Us

10 Heaven: A Place of Joy

11 We Will Be Together Again

12 God’s Peace

Part 3: Practical Ways to Cope with Your Loss

1 Rest

2 Cry

3 Pray

4 Sleep and Dream

5 Worship and Praise

6 Talk to God and Others

7 Take Care of Clothes and Possessions

8 Read Cards and Letters

9 Seek Christian Counseling

10 Attend a Grief Recovery Support Group

11 Spend Time with Others

12 Write

13 Take Care of Yourself

14 Reflect on Good Memories

15 Live One Day at a Time

16 Go Places Again

17 Celebrate Holidays

18 Remember Anniversaries

19 Help Your Children

20 Deal with Family and Friends at Your Own Pace

Part 4: Resources for Healing

Help and Hope for Those with Depression and Anxiety

Guidance for Those Struggling with Addiction

Seven Steps in Dealing with Temptation

Encouragement for Those Dealing with Loved Ones with Depression and Addiction

A Question: Do You Know Where You Will Spend Eternity?

Conclusion: Living with Hope

Web Sites

To the true and living God,

The Lord God of heaven and earth, the Holy and Mighty One of Israel,

The Ancient of Days,

Manifested in three persons—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

In loving memory of my late husband

Officer William James Sielaff

September 7, 1954-November 10, 2002

Every life is precious in God’s eyes.

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Acknowledgments

M any special people were influential in sustaining, comforting, encouraging, and upholding me in the loss of my beloved husband. I would like to thank:

First and foremost: The Lord Jesus Christ for His supernatural comfort in sustaining me through my sudden loss. For being my all in life, my Comforter, Provider, and Friend. For inspiring this book and bringing it to pass at His appointed time. Lord, I pray it brings You glory for everything You have done. May it be a sweet and humble offering of Your grace. May it bless and comfort others in Your name, as You are the Lord, the God of all comfort. Amen.

My dear mother Maria for her love and great help to my children and me.

Our families: The Sielaff and Quintana Family (my mother’s family), for standing with us; for their love and encouragement through the years.

Kim and Donna, for their loving generosity and faithfulness.

Pastor and Mrs. Pete Tokar Jr. and Pastor Bob Brady for spending the first hours with me, and for seeing this book as a source of comfort and hope to others, as God has given me.

The Florida Bible Church family for their prayers and encouragement.

The Miami Beach Police Department for their great support and being there for us.

Chief of Police Donald Deluca for his wonderful support. For also providing Officer Dolores Martinez as acting liaison officer to escort me for a couple of days to help me with transportation in getting me to the places I needed to go. For taking my daughter a month later on a police tour of the places her daddy worked. Officer Dolores, you were a blessing.

Major Leni Alamo for his professional assistance during this sudden critical time. To his wife, Clecia, for her encouraging words from the Lord.

Lieutenant Mark Causey, head of the Miami Beach Police Honor Guard, for leading the funeral honors. To the honor guard, motor squad, and police officers who assisted with and were part of Bill’s funeral services.

The Miami Beach Fire Department, no. 4 fire rescue unit, for honoring Bill in bringing their big shiny truck to the funeral home during the viewing as a sign of their friendship.

Rick and Lidia for the many years of friendship; for everything they did for Bill the previous month and for me during the first week. May the Lord reward you on earth and also in heaven.

Bob and Donna and their daughters, Dee, Katie, and Yami; family friends and neighbors; for your love and faithfulness throughout the years.

Joe and Cheryl and their children, Marla and Michael; for taking my daughter to church and other fun places during the last month of my pregnancy. Thank you, Joe, for tightly installing my son’s car seats through the early stages.

Tony and Mayra and their daughters, Nicole and Victoria, for their loving friendship. To Mayra, for driving me to doctor’s appointments during my pregnancy and for being my birth coach when my son was born. The Lord sent you as a helping angel.

I also would like to thank friends that were a blessing to my children and me throughout these years. The Lord brought you our way as angels of encouragement.

A special thank you to all those who influenced the heart preparation, writing, editing, and prayers for this book:

The Lord Jesus Christ for laying this book on my heart and for preparing me to write it. For providing the many divine appointments He brought to me in the process to make it possible, and for the way He spoke to me through many different people along the way.

Kathy Brady, a pastor’s wife and friend, for telling me I should write a book. Even though she may have said these words casually, God spoke to my heart to confirm His purpose as she spoke these words to me.

Ruth Yost, a military friend, for encouraging me to tell others about what God has done in my life.

Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, for writing in his book, that we should not keep things secret if we can help others out of our past hurts. God spoke to me through that line, encouraging me to tell my story.

Nancy Koenig, a pastor’s wife and friend, and my sister-in-law Elizabeth Tucker for helping edit the first manuscript.

Focus on the Family for their encouragement and writing information they provided me.

The Miami-Dade American Christian Writers Critique Group for their encouragement and writing advice.

Janis Whipple (as I call her, the Lord’s editor), a writing angel sent from the Lord, for her professional editing services of the final manuscript. Janis is a freelance editor living in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. She formerly worked as an editor for a book publishing company and also as a public relations coordinator. Janis and I met during a writer’s workshop in South Florida, in a divine appointment from God.

Pastor Bob Coy of Calvary Chapel, Ft. Lauderdale, for praying for my children, me, and this manuscript at his book signing at the Truth Shop Christian bookstore in Davie, Florida.

José Jimenez, a good friend of many years for his help in this project. May the Lord bless you as you have blessed many with your gift of music and drama in Jewish ministries.

Cynthia Valmote, an outpatient nurse and friend. Thank you for praying for this book and for me. I thank the Lord for the wonderful gift of prayer He has given you. You truly are a physical and spiritual nurse for His glory.

Thank you to Patrick Hart and the designers of the book cover and layout format inside the book, and the Publishing Consultant and Check-In Coordinator, Alicia Hewell and Erica Hookfin at WestBow Press for their professional assistance.

To the Women of the Word Bible study at First Baptist Church in Weston, Florida, for their prayers and encouragement.

And to the many faithful people of God that prayed along with me for this book to reach the hands of those who need it. God bless you all.

A Tribute to Bill

A fun-loving and very special man with

a beautiful heart and soul

A great provider and protector

We will always remember your big cheerful smile,

great sense of humor, and generous heart.

With all our love,

Your family, friends, and fellow police

officers of Miami Beach P.D.

Heaven

H stands for Jesus’ house

E stands for His everlasting love

A stands for all the angels that live with Him

V stands for the victory we have in Jesus

E stands for the emerald jewels on the gates

N stands for no more crying, no more sickness, and no more death

—Desireé, sixth grade

2005

Preface

A sleep in Jesus is my personal testimony of how God proved Himself faithful to my daughter and me after our sudden loss. Two years after my husband’s death, God laid on my heart to write this book. From this moment on, God gave me many confirmations through divine appointments that inspired me to write it with His help and guidance. I feel somewhat as Noah did when he sent the dove out from the ark, and the dove returned with a fresh olive leaf in her mouth. God gave me a similar sign to publish this book at His appointed time.

God wrote a book about your life even before you were born. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them Psalm 139:16.

Every person embraces a book about their own life. Everyone has a story to share about what God has done. I share my story with you as I received it from the Lord, as He wrote along my life’s journey. As the apostle John wrote in John 21:25, And there are also many other things that Jesus did, which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Amen. I believe all of the Christian books that have been written are a part of God’s personal heavenly library.

In obedience to the Lord, I write to those who are experiencing the loss of a close loved one or a loved one’s addiction—to remind you that you are not alone and to encourage you during the painful transition and separation of your loss. I not only share my story of God’s faithfulness in my pain but I offer you additional comfort through devotionals and practical advice.

Wherever you may be right now in whatever state of confusion or despair, realize that I too have been there, in what now seems to me a distant time. Through my journey of anguish and uncertainty, I have been led into the merciful arms and glory of our God. Today I pray that these words will reach you and open your heart and mind to the many miracles of our blessed Creator.

Before you begin to read this book, take a moment to silently pray. Allow yourself to believe that Christ will heal and comfort you in your pain according to your needs as He has healed and comforted me. It is my prayer that this book will bless you with God’s comfort and with His peace, and encourage you with His hope, as the Lord has given me.

A Special Note

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven.

—Ecclesiastes 3:1

T wo thousand thirteen marks the eleventh anniversary of Bill’s going home to be with the Lord Jesus in His glorious heaven. Looking back through the last ten years, I reflect on the lessons I have learned about life and how God comforted and encouraged us in our walk with Him through these many seasons. I am amazed to see how this decade has flown by.

With the Lord’s grace, my daughter is in her third year of college and my son is in fifth grade. As for me, the Lord continues to give me His grace each day, as I seek His face and His will for my children and for my life. God’s grace in our lives is abundant, and this is what the Lord has done as it has pleased Him in His time.

The

LORD

has done great things for us and we are filled with joy.

—Psalm 126:3

Prologue

I asked my husband of twenty years while standing in our living room foyer, Can you smile for me? Bill suddenly looked like a radiant angel, smiling so big I told him it was a resurrection smile indeed!

Can you hold it for a minute?

He answered, That’s too long.

Ten seconds?" I responded, and he did.

It was the most beautiful smile ever—one I will never forget!

Looking back at that moment it was as if we’d both been in a cloud until this point. Then all of a sudden I realized I had to go. Looking into his eyes I casually asked Bill, Do you want to come? Seeming almost frozen, he replied, No.

This time, I asked again with a smile, Do you want to come with me? But a second time he refused. Tired of hearing his negative comments, I rushed past him with a Well, good-bye then, I’ve got to go now! Grabbing my purse and our daughter’s overnight bag, I quickly left the house and drove away…

Part I

Our Story

Beloved, let us love one another, for

love is of God; and everyone who loves

is born of God and knows God.

—1 John 4:7

(This verse highlighted our wedding invitation.)

1

Two Lives Come Together

Love never fails.

—1 Corinthians 13:8

I t was the spring of 1980, I had just turned twenty. A commotion arose in South Florida as the Mariel boatlift left Cuba and arrived in Key West. I watched their journey unfold on television as the travelers left a place of hopelessness in search of a new life. As I pondered their predicament, I took stock of my own life. I felt empty and without purpose. I was searching for the truth. Though I was raised with religious tradition, I was tired of praying to carved images and hungered to know the true and living God.

I had never read the Bible and was curious about what God had to say in it. The summer prior, my family, some friends and I, celebrated the Fourth of July weekend at a Miami Beach motel. I noticed the room that I was going to stay in with my cousins had a Holy Bible on top of the night stand. I had never taken notice of these Bibles before, but I did on that day. I took the Bible, and for a moment I held it tight in my arms. I felt I’d found the greatest treasure on earth. I tucked the Bible into my weekend suitcase. Once home, I opened it up to read it, but I found it difficult to read and didn’t know where to begin, so I closed it up and placed it on my bedroom bookcase for one entire year.

One day, someone gave me an inspirational card that read, Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7). Who in the world is Matthew? I wondered. Still, it intrigued me, and I thought, this is great stuff and I want more of it! So I began to pray only to Jesus. What a refreshing change!

I first prayed to ask God to bless me with the man He would choose for me to marry someday, a man who would love