A Tale of Two Claws

By Jason Coursey

You will be born a male your mother will be impregnated with you because of a rape. You will be born with hands that look like claws.

Traded to a complete stranger by his mother, for a few bottles of whiskey, Lob, The Lobster Boy, is whisked away to London to be studied along side Joseph Merrick, The Elephant man. Once in London, things take a deadly turn and Lob will have to make a deal with Jack the Ripper just to stay alive.

From here on out, Lobs life will be filled with danger, intrigue, love, and astounding loss. This is the story of a boy who doesnt want his malformation, lobster claw syndrome, to define who he is as he becomes a man. But the more he tries to separate himself from his past and his condition the more Lob realizes that his life is A Tale Of Two Claws.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 13, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503542822

Book preview

1

This Place May Not Exist

We were just standing around. Well, we have no legs, but I call what we were doing standing. I would have been gnawing on my fingernails had I any fingers to have nails on. I was extremely nervous about what was soon to take place. I and many others, just like me, were going to be dispatched. None of us knew where any of us were going. What we did know: soon we would be wearing flesh.

Allow me to explain. A fleshy is a person with skin, bones, and blood. Maybe you know a few? They have legs to stand on and fingernails to gnaw on. I don’t, but I will soon. You see, I am what you truly are once the flesh is stripped away. I call myself essence. Humans on earth refer to their essence as soul or spirit. All of us essences, or souls, are created here at the Place of Origin. It is here that we receive our life assignments. Your life assignment is the most important assignment of your, well, life.

A bright light appeared. The warm luminous glow drew us all near. With great fear and anticipation, we gathered around to receive our life assignments. The beacon of destiny released soothing vibrations that contained the information. We essences don’t speak with words like fleshies; we send out vibrations that are felt and not heard.

You will be born a female. At age eight, you will lose your mother. As an adult woman, you will suffer a rare brain disease. Many trials lie ahead of you, the light oscillated to the essence in front of me.

Sorry, I pulsed to the future female.

Don’t be. Just pray I make the right choice when it is time, the future she responded. Will you do the same for me?

Yes. Her vibration sent a tickle through my essence that I had never felt before. I liked it.

On and on the light revealed what we were destined to be. You will be born a male. Your mother will be impregnated with you because of a rape. You will be born with hands that look like claws.

What? I angrily vibrated. I believe I was the only soul to offer any rebuttal to their destiny. Mine sounded so horrible.

This is what you will be.

Don’t you think those conditions will make it harder on me to make the right choices? Your brain will be normal. You will be able to draw the same conclusions about life that anyone else can.

Will I always be handicapped? Will my mother orphan me?

I got no reply. My transportation was beginning, and the light was fading. My fate was set. My life would not be ordinary. While in the womb, I would still receive some instructions about my future. What would those instructions be? I had no idea, but hopefully, they would be accompanied with some good news.

2

Becoming Human

I was traveling faster than light. I was traveling beyond the barrier that separated my world from the human world. As I traveled, all I could think about were the claws that I would have instead of hands. Humans are supposed to have four fingers and one thumb on each hand. This is a characteristic about humanity that sets them apart from all the other creatures on earth. Why did I have to be different?

Nervous?

I felt a tickle gyrate through me. I recognized who was communicating with me. Yes, I responded to the future female. Why?

I’m to be born with claws. I’m going to look like a monster.

There must be a reason for it, she replied. The vibrations that she was sending me were very soothing. I could have pulsated with her forever.

I’m going to be trapped inside a body with a severe handicap.

We must trust the Creator, she responded. I could tell by the pulsations that she was sending me that she would be someone special.

I wanted to chat more but couldn’t; we had reached the gate to the human realm. Actually, it was not a gate at all but an invisible force field. This force field separated the Place of Origin, heaven, and hell from the human realm. What the Creator designated as the human realm was everything inside the universe or outer space.

I could see earth, and I was headed toward it at a furious speed. It was a clear, starry night with half of the moon shining high in the black velvet sky. A man and a woman were on the ground, screaming and fighting. The woman, my soon-to-be mother, was trying to fight the man off, but he was still having his way with her. As I entered her body, I heard her scream, Run, he’ll kill you! I didn’t know who she was yelling at.

While my mother’s body was being abused, I entered a tiny human egg inside her womb. The space was very confined, and movement was almost nonexistent, but it was here that I would stay until my human body was prepared and my date of birth would arrive.

I could feel her heart pounding. She gasped for air and cried uncontrollably. I knew she was hurt, but I didn’t know how bad. As her crying began to calm, I could hear her faintly ask God why that awful deed was done to her. I could only imagine what she’d think when she finds out that I was inside her.

I didn’t know why I was being born under these conditions. I didn’t even know why this woman, my mother, was raped. No human being deserves such atrocities happening to them, but yet they still happen. Why would the Creator want it to be so? Why couldn’t it have been another way?

It didn’t take long for the human part of me to develop. Within about two months, my face, arms, and legs were noticeable. Where my hands and fingers should be, there were claws. As time continued to pass, I began to realize how handicapped these claws were going to make me. For example, I had an instinct to suck my thumb, but I couldn’t. Instead of a thumb, all I had was a claw. I sucked on it the best I could, but it was far from satisfying.

Outside these lobster claws, I had developed shockingly well. My body was fit and capable to perform all its normal human functions. I pondered a lot about what it would be like to run through a field and see the world through carnal eyes. Eating food was an ability that I was anxious to discover. Ingesting fruits and vegetables and drinking water seemed very fascinating. Having a body that would be covered in hair would come as quite a shock. I wondered if it would itch.

As the months went by, I found myself fearing my birthday more and more. Even though I appeared normal outside of my claws, I worried a lot about my mother and if I would be loved. I strained my ears and tried to listen beyond the rhythmic internal sounds of her body to hear the outside world. Often, I would hear lots of music and laughter. The people sounded happy and playful, but not my mother. When she would leave the place of music and laughter, she would cry and beg God to take her baby away. There was another woman that I heard her speak to fairly often.

I want out of here, pleaded my mother.

Where are you going to go? asked the other lady. Anywhere is better than here.

Your baby is due. You can’t travel anywhere now. What if you go into labor? I don’t want this baby! screamed my mother violently.

Did you go see that doctor I told you about? He wants too much money.

Well, you’re stuck, honey, unless you do it yourself.

You do it, said my mother. Her heart was beating fast and hard; she sounded desperate. I’m not a baby killer, replied the other lady.

It’s a monster, not a baby! my mother yelled.

That child is a part of you, Ingrid. Don’t talk about it that way.

That was the first time I had heard my mother’s name—Ingrid. To me that was the most beautiful name in the whole world.

When this thing growing inside of me comes out, I’m gonna kill it, said my mother. Why? asked the other lady.

Because it’s evil! Every time I see it, I’ll be reminded of how awful my life is. How all my dreams have been destroyed by men who only care about themselves!

Ingrid, calm down.

Calm down! How many men have taken you against your will? None, replied the other woman.

Do you know how many times I’ve been raped? Twice, by two different men! In between those two, I was married. When my husband decided he was done with me, he dumped me in the Nevada desert alone! I refuse to raise this unholy monster that crawls around inside of me, sucking my life away! I want it dead!

On and on she bickered. To her, I was an unholy monster, a spawn of evil. I really didn’t feel wanted, but what could I do about it? I was just a small infant inside his mother, with absolutely no control over anything.

Shortly before my birth, I was contacted by the Place of Origin. It is time pulsated through my being.

I’m ready, I responded.

The moment you take your first breath, everything changes.

I understand. I hope that my life is one that pleases the Creator.

He has made you and will always watch you. All you need to do is make the right decisions.

I’m a little confused on a few things.

All humans are. That was the last vibration that I ever felt from the Place of Origin. It offered me no encouragement.

Someone’s fingers touched my head. I can feel the head! The baby is almost here! yelled the owner of the fingers.

I found myself wishing that something would go wrong and my birth would not take place. I had a bad feeling about my future.

My mother screamed, and as she did, my head came out of her body. Fluids blinded me so I couldn’t see. Hands grabbed me.

One more big push!

My mother screamed again, and I came out.

It’s a boy! He looks … Whoever was holding me must have seen my claws for the first time. My mother screamed again, but this time, it was out of horror.

What’s wrong with him? my mother demanded.

My eyes focused on who was holding me. It was a dirty woman wearing old brown clothes. Her hair was black, and she had a huge bone through her nose. She just stared at me with tears in her eyes. Two big black dogs with viscous fangs were behind her, growling and barking.

Everything else looks good, replied the woman holding me.

She then turned me upside down and smacked my bottom to help me breathe. I still hadn’t seen my mother. As breath entered my lungs and I changed from essence to human, I heard my mother say one last thing. Feed it to the dogs.

3

Fifteen

What’s wrong with him? Why does he have claws instead of hands? asked a young boy curiously.

Because he’s a freak, replied the boy’s father.

How can someone be born with claws and not hands?

With a deep, spooky voice, the father replied, He’s not human, he’s a monster. They gawked at me for a while longer and then walked away laughing.

This was just another typical day in my life. Most fifteen-year-old boys would receive some kind of schooling and live with a family that loves them, but not me. I lived in a traveling carnival and was part of its greatest spectacle—the Freak Show.

January 11, 1885, was when my sorry hide first saw the light of day. My mother hated me the moment she first laid her eyes on me. Actually, she hated me even when I was still inside her. According to her, I should have never been born because I was the seed of Satan.

Now, I never saw the devil, but when people looked at me, they looked as if they had seen him. They’d mock and say mean things that would make me cry. I’d run off and hide because I was embarrassed of the way I looked. People didn’t realize that even though I had claws, I was still a human being. All I wanted was for someone to like me for who I was.

My mother hated me so much that she wouldn’t even name me. Folks around the carnival started calling me Lobster Boy or Lob for short. I preferred being called Lob because it sounded more like a normal name. Gonzo, my boss, would advertise me more than any of the other freaks. Most of the others were gaffs, fakes, but not me; I was the real thing.

Come and see the greatest novelty of nature known to man! The product of an unholy union between a lobster and a mermaid! Is it a boy or a monster? You decide as you feast your eyes upon Lob, the Lobster Boy! yelled Gonzo in front of the freak tent every night.

Inside I would sit chained to a chair as if I were a vicious fiend while people came in and gawked at me. Some nights I would cry as they stared, but on other nights, I would scream and yell as if I were going to cut them up with my claws. Usually I would only act mean if the people were rude. Sometimes people would spit, curse, and even attack me. I’ve been cut with a knife twice, kicked and punched numerous times, shot at once, and many times, women have been known to throw up on or around me.

One winter’s night, two drunken priests entered the tent and performed an exorcism on me. Because so many people flocked around to watch, Gonzo allowed it to go on.

In the name of Jesus Christ, our God and Lord, strengthened by the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Blessed Michael the Archangel, of the Blessed apostles Peter and Paul and all the saints, we confidently undertake to repulse the attacks and deceits of the devil! they chanted in a drunken stupor.

After making more demands for the devil to come out, they soaked me in holy water. My mother came in and mocked me. I told you! You’re the spawn of Satan!

Finally, Gonzo chased them away. After the show, he took me aside and said, Look, kid, those were two drunken fools. You ain’t got a devil in ya. Anyway, there is no such thing as the devil or God.

It was crazy incidents like these that made me realize the only one who was going to take care of me was me. At age nine, I started teaching myself how to read and write. I learned to write with my right foot and with my mouth. In no time, I wrote as good as a normal person could with their hands. It impressed Gonzo so much that he added it to my act.

I learned to do these things because I didn’t want to be a carnival freak all my life. I hoped that being able to read and write would impress somebody, and in turn, they would help get me out of here. As people would watch me write with my foot, they would mock my efforts.

Look at that freak! He’s trying to be like us! an old man shouted. You’re an abomination! yelled another.

If I’m so bad, why did you pay to come and see me? I fired back.

Needless to say, a fight broke out, and Gonzo had to shut the show down early. He was very mad at me, but I didn’t care; I was tired of being a freak.

After everyone went to sleep, I snuck off. I followed a dirt road to an old house in the wood. I hid in the bushes and watched the family inside. In one room, two brothers shared a bed, and in the other, a man and woman lay cuddled up, asleep. I imagined what it might have been like if I were part of this family.

You know your paw loves ya, my dad would say to me with a big smile.

Yes, I would reply with a giant grin. And I love you, Paw. He would give me a huge hug, and then we’d go hunting or fishing or whatever fathers and sons do together.

When I got back to camp, Otis was making coffee. Where have you been? he asked. I took a walk.

Otis pulled his suspenders up on his shoulders to hold his pants over his plump belly. As he put his hat on, he looked at me and asked, You wanna go up tonight? It would be a good night to see the world.

Sure, I replied, smiling.

Otis was a big old man in his late sixties. His job was to run the Ferris wheel. Next to the Freak Show, the Ferris wheel was our biggest attraction. Our carnival was just one of a very few that had one. Since its invention in 1893, people had gathered in droves to ride it.

Otis stopped it when I was on top. The world looked so different from high above. As I gazed into the moonlit night, I pondered my future. Where would I be when I turned thirty? Would I ever marry and have children? If I did, would they have claws like me? My future looked and felt bleak.

After I was up there about an hour or so, Otis asked, You ready to come down? Yeah, I’m ready.

4

Circus Freaks

"This is our last Oklahoma stop before we go to Texas. We’re gonna work this town all week, so I want to see some razzle-dazzle. Money has been in short supply around here, but all that is about to change. There are a lot of rich rubes around these parts, and I want their money. I’ve managed to land some sponsors, so our crowds should be good. I want all of you doing your best. I want the wheel spinning, girls singing, and our freaks freaking. Make these next shows the best shows we’ve ever done.

It’s 1900, people. A new millennium is upon us. If this carnival is to survive, then we need to be aggressive. We need to be the best.

This was Gonzo’s pep talk before we did our last Oklahoma show. Our last few shows in this state were poorly attended. Everyone hoped this new town would be better.

Gonzo stood about six feet and had a head full of dark hair. He kept every hair in place at all times. Sometimes he would wear a tall top hat accompanied by a fancy suit, with shiny gold rings on his fingers and a pocket watch. His mustache was always perfect, with stiff curled ends on each side. I’d never known a day that Gonzo smelled bad.

Where’s your mother? he asked.

Where do you think? She was probably in her bed, passed out drunk.

I’ll make sure she’s ready to go on tonight, said Medusa, walking up beside me. Medusa was my mother’s only true friend. When I was born, she was my mother’s mid- wife. Medusa was more of a mother to me than my own mother.

She was a tall woman with long black hair. She had put a bone through her nose to enrich her act. Medusa danced with snakes. Her name was very fitting for her stage character.

Are you going to hold her hand forever? I asked her. Friends don’t turn their backs on one another.

Mothers shouldn’t turn their backs on their children either. I’m sorry, Lob.

It’s not your fault, I replied, looking down at my feet. Medusa hugged me, kissed me on the head, and then went to find my mother.

I liked Medusa. I was closer to her than anyone else in that traveling show. Everything that I knew about my mother I learned from Medusa. I had to take an oath of secrecy before she would tell me anything. If my mother knew what I knew about her, she would kill Medusa for sure.

My mother’s name is Ingrid. She grew up in Iowa and loved to sing. At nineteen she went to California to try and get into the singing business. To make money, she took a job as a waitress at a small diner. While there, her blond hair and curvy figure caught the owner’s eye, and soon they were married.

During the honeymoon, he discovered my mother’s secret—she was born with a tail. When he saw it, he went crazy. He packed her up in his car, drove out to the middle of nowhere, and dumped her there. For the next few years, she lived on the streets, doing whatever she could to survive.

Eventually, she joined Gonzo’s carnival. He made her the star of her own singing production, but because of her drinking and bad moods, she had never become the star attraction that she could be.

Fifteen years ago, a man watched her sing. While she performed, he yelled vulgar, perverted things at her. Gonzo had the man removed. Late that night he returned, snuck into my mother’s tent, and raped her. The man escaped without being caught, but two nights later, he was found dead with his throat crushed.

Medusa believed Mr. Gargantuan killed the man. Mr. Gargantuan was a giant that stood seven and a half feet tall. Gargantuan had a crush on my mother. Medusa assumed that he killed the man because of his love for her.

All I knew for certain was that the dead man was my father. When the sheriff talked to Gonzo and the others, he never mentioned the man’s name or anything else about him. Medusa kept some of the newspaper clippings about the rape and death, but a name was never published.

Are you ready for tonight? asked Flim Flam. Can’t wait, I replied sarcastically.

Tonight is going to be special, Lob. I can feel it.

I’m surprised the man could feel anything. He was called the Amazing Flim Flam because he could bend his lanky body into any shape imaginable. He even put himself inside small boxes and crates that no normal human could ever squeeze into. People loved watching the Amazing Flim Flam twist his lean tattooed body into a pretzel.

I hope tonight is special, I said as I got up to leave. Is something wrong?

I didn’t answer. I just kept on walking. I always had something wrong with me,