Manufactured Manhood: Beating the Odds Against Destructive Masculine Development

By Gerald Bower

Manufactured Manhood urges men to live by Gods design for the sake of preserving families, marriages, and our future. It gives women a portrait of godly manhood and how it impacts relationships, and it provides hope for the next generation to experience the loving presence and influence of men who find their strength and identity in the Lord.

Praise for Manufactured Manhood

Manufactured Manhood is an adaptation of Gerald Bower the man. This book will challenge you to step up in a day when others are notto be the man God wants you to be.
Mike Hooper
Executive Pastor
Grace Community Church

Since I have observed some of the manhood qualities exemplified in his way of life, Manufactured Manhood would be a worthwhile read for all men to taste of and digest.
Wanda Lartigue
Church Leader
Jerusalem Missionary Baptist Church

Brother Gerald Bowers writings are always portable, profitable, and productive. As you are reading, you get a real sense that this man has been there, right in the trenches with you battling together, getting a handle on manhood.
Duane M. Lawrence
Associate Pastor
Living Word Fellowship Church

Gerald Bower not only encourages others with words but with his life that has modeled what he teaches.
Tony Lampkin
Marriage Class Instructor
Mount Corinth Baptist Church

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 18, 2013
• ISBN: 9781449782337

Gerald Bower

Gerald Bower has ministered to the spiritual and emotional needs of men and women for over twenty years. In the roles of certified Christian counselor, licensed professional counselor, licensed chemical dependency counselor, and deacon, he has spent much of his life teaching men to be responsible and accountable to God, themselves, and their families. He currently works as a counselor and recovery group facilitator at a rehabilitation center in Texas.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 Gerald J. Bower.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1-[phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4497-8232-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-8234-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-8233-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013900822

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

WestBow Press rev. date: 1/17/2013

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Men Who Mentored Me

Introduction

Chapter 1 The Boy

Assembly Required

Chapter 2 The Gang

The Subpar Design

Chapter 3 The Authority

The Designer and His Plan

Chapter 4 The Mentor, Model, and Motivator

The Quality Assurance Manager

Chapter 5 The Man

The Base Model

Chapter 6 The Husband

The Upgraded Model

Chapter 7 The Father

Designed for Duplication

Chapter 8 The Friend

The Essential Accessory

Conclusion

Without my wife, this book would not have been possible. Betty L. Bower was the blessing God gave me to edify my life, and I praise and glorify Him for her and more than forty years we were together. I thank you, Lord, for our longevity of love.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I want to thank Sherena Ward for her editorial expertise in red lining my book. God has a way of surrounding you with gifted people who can bless you. Eight years ago, my wife, with her discerning spirit, shared words of encouragement with Sherena about her writing gift. I have received serendipitous blessings from those words of encouragement because she completed the editorial review of this book. The Lord has brought this blessing full circle, and I thank her for being obedient to the call to write.

I offer my appreciation to Perry Elders and his family for extending an invitation to come to his one-hundred-acre ranch in December 2011, three months after the death of my wife. Sitting in the midst of that land and lake helped me reconnect with God at a low point in my life. That was the first Christmas without my wife, and the Lord rejuvenated me to complete this book.

In my solitude, I found a deeper relationship with Him, as the Holy Spirit brought peace to my spirit in the serenity of that place. Now I can share what the Lord placed in me to help men fulfill His mandate of leadership and receive blessings for their families.

MEN WHO MENTORED ME

Jesus Christ, the Lord, master of masculinity and man of men: He equips men to master masculinity, maturation, and matrimony.

Simon J. J. Bower: my dad modeled the provider role, giving my family food, clothing, and shelter. As the protector, he always made us feel safe at home. Through his example as a preacher, my family knew that worshiping God was not an option. My father took us to church and lived biblical principles before us. He promised to love my mom and kept those wedding vows even to death, when he went home to live with Jesus.

Edwin Louis Cole: known as the father of the men’s movement, he introduced me to the concept of being a man of God and the responsibilities that come along with it. This is the man who tapped into what my father taught me and placed me on the road the Lord wants all men to travel.

Pastor Ivory L. Varner, Bible Way Fellowship Baptist Church, Houston Tex.: he gave me the opportunity to attend men’s meetings at 6:00 a.m. Sunday mornings even though I was not a member of his church. With the early time on Sunday, Pastor Varner removed the usual excuses for not being able to attend meetings—mowing the lawn, going to the store, working on the car, etc.—and told the attendees we would have to make a choice if we wanted to learn how to be men of God.

The late Pastor E. K. Bailey, Concord Baptist Church, Dallas Tex.: he introduced me to the next level of responsibility of being a godly man, husband, and father. I attended his Discipling and Developing the African American Male conferences. It was at these conferences that Pastor Bailey laid a foundation for me to develop in a way to please and glorify the Lord and minister to my wife and family.

Coach Bill McCartney, president and founder of Promise Keepers: he helped me put in to practice what my other mentors had taught me. The conferences helped me realize I was having some of the same issues as other men and, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we could change. Coach Mac impressed me with his dedication to his wife and family when, in October 2003, he resigned his position to take care of his wife, Lyndi, who was extremely ill at the time.

Pastor Tony Evans, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, Dallas, Tex.: he taught me so much through our conversations at Promise Keepers, the Discipling and Developing the African American Male conferences, and during his numerous visits to Houston. Dr. Evans always challenged me to move toward manly responsibility.

Pastor A. Louis Patterson, Jr., Mount Corinth Baptist Church, Houston Tex.: my pastor for eighteen years, he taught many messages on masculine leadership and how men can fulfill their God-ordained role. Every month during Manpower Hour, we had an opportunity to fellowship and celebrate being men, just before Pastor’s message would challenge us to conquer our world instead of falling prey to the world system controlled by Satan.

I thank God for blessing me with such strong, positive examples of manhood.

INTRODUCTION

I’ve been asked why I wrote this book. As a sociologist, I’ve observed more than my share of dysfunctional behavior in men. As a therapist, I’ve seen emotional breakdowns in men that hinder the growth of the family. As a drug counselor, I’ve listened to excuses from men as to why they self-medicate and avoid responsibility. As a Christian counselor, I’ve observed how Satan has led many men to doubt and deny that the Lord can help them with their problems.

Like many men, my early days of marriage were spent trying to figure out what to do in my new role as a husband—certainly not with God in mind because I wasn’t even sure where I was in my spiritual walk. I didn’t know what it took to build a relationship, and I made many mistakes out of ignorance. I had no mentors, nor did I know I needed them. I took advice from the crowd in the barbershop and did things the way these men said they should be done.

I made the erroneous assumption that all I needed to do was bring home a paycheck, and I expected my wife to know that I loved her. I thought being the man of the house meant all I had to do was be there. Nothing could be further from the truth!

As a father, I’ve come to understand the awesome responsibility to train my children according to God’s Word and bring them up under His protection and provision. Parents have an obligation to teach the next generation how to serve and honor the Lord because what they learn and see from us shapes their image of the heavenly Father.

When we become godly men, husbands, and fathers, God will not only bless us but our families and everyone we influence. I started out slow, but once I turned over my life and my will to Jesus, everything changed. My marriage changed and became stronger, even in the hard times. As I became more involved in the Lord’s plan for my life, I saw my wife in a different light. She became my queen, whom I gladly served no matter what. I had taken a vow—for better or worse, in sickness and health, and for richer or poorer—before God and the pastor, and I meant it. I learned to love my wife and be all a man and husband should be without looking for anything in return. Jesus is the only person you should love more than your wife and when she