Angel Whitewolf: The Dark Enlightened One

By Francisco Toledo Rosenfield

Have you ever been sick of everything? Have you ever felt a deep void that you cant fill with anything? Have you noticed that your nature guides you to act one way, but if you dare to follow it, you will be severely judged? Have you felt that you dont fit in completely; that there is something that you maybe still have to find and that it would make sense of everything? Have you experienced fear? Have you felt guilt? Would you like to stop feeling them forever? Are you tired of crying, of suffering and enduring pain, and even so there are still cynics who tell you that this is the road to eternal happiness?
And if all the answers were always with you? And if you were always right? And if your unlimited potential was always there, and now its ready to burst forth and show the world that the truth was always with you and not with everyone else?
Angel Whitewolf, the dark enlightened one, has awakened, and he is here to show you, if you wish, that the greatest power imaginable belongs to you and to use it, you have only to reclaim it through being yourself.
Its only fair that things finally be done your way

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palibrio
• Release date: Aug 15, 2012
• ISBN: 9781463329532

Francisco Toledo Rosenfield

Francisco Toledo Rosenfield is a Lawyer licensed to practice in Mexico City, and has a Master’s degree in History. He is also a 4th DAN Black Belt and Tae Kwon Do teacher. He feels a passion for Astronomy and Music (especially Metal) and is extremely curious, rebellious and eccentric, which led him to study occult, metaphysical, psychological and spiritual subjects in a deep way since 1999. He lives in Mexico with his wife, Cinthya Blackcat, lead guitarist of the band “Mystica Girls”. www.angelwhitewolf.com

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Angel Whitewolf

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The Dark Enlightened One

FRANCISCO TOLEDO ROSENFIELD

Copyright © 2012 by Francisco Toledo Rosenfield.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2012908928

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4633-2952-5

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4633-2954-9

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4633-2953-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in

any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without

permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the

product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance

to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Palibrio

1663 Liberty Drive

Suite 200

Bloomington, IN 47403

Tel: [phone]

Fax: [phone]

[e-mail]

399802

CONTENTS

Dedicated To:

Special Thanks

FIRST PART

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

SECOND PART

12

13

14

15

16

17

THIRD PART

18

19

20

21

22

FOURTH PART

23

24

25

26

DEDICATED TO:

My wife, Cinthya, my personal goddess

My mother, Lisa, my personal angel

My father, Francisco, my personal saint, and

My sister, Kathy, my personal little demon ;-)

SPECIAL THANKS

I want to deeply thank my beloved and beautiful wife, Cinthya Monroy (Cinthya Blackcat) for giving sense to everything, by being my living proof that dreams DO come true, that it is possible to have it all and that life can be, and as a matter of fact it is, perfect. For me, she is the irrefutable example of the power enclosed in this book.

I also want to thank my mother, Lisa Rosenfield, who has always known how to make my life, in sum, easy and beautiful, thanks to her unconditional love and her brilliant mind.

To my father, Francisco Toledo, who awakened my mind and my spirit with his character, his strength and his immense wisdom, as well as his unending love and his great personality.

To my incredible sister, Kathleen Toledo, who has brought more blessings to my life than I could ever mention, as well as laughs, laughs and more laughs. She doesn’t realize how much I admire her. Thanks for coming to help me!

To my brother by choice, Marco Antonio García, who awakened in me a great part of who I am today, and is my authentic proof that brothers can be chosen too.

To doctor Anita Scarfo, who for years has guided me and joined me in the discovery of the secrets and power of my deep mind, and has been like a second mother to me.

To my godfather, Héctor González, for demonstrating to me that the love of a father is not limited to family bounds.

To my grandmother, Sarah Rosenfield, for showing me that fun is the greatest wisdom.

To my friend, Javier Canseco, for his understanding, support, and for always being there for me.

To my friend and teacher, Gustavo Fuentes, for his examples of life and character, which have been a great inspiration to me.

To Michael Jackson, for showing me that nothing is impossible, and for being always in my heart.

To Neale Donald Walsh, for opening the gates of my conscious spirituality.

All of the previously mentioned had a direct impact in this book, and without any of them, it wouldn’t exist.

It’s impossible for me to mention all of the people who deserve to be named here, like relatives, friends, teachers, pupils, artists, musicians, songwriters, writers, scientists, and people who, in general, regardless of the fact of whether I know them or not, have influenced me in one way or another in the construction of who I am, and in the contents of this book. Some of these people had a fundamental participation, and each and every one of them will have my eternal gratitude. I’ll know how to communicate this to them, in a way where I’m not limited by space.

FIRST PART

1

God damn it! I’ve had it! I’ve had it with living with fear! I’ve had it with feeling empty! I’ve had it with looking and only half way finding! Had it with going forward and going forward but it’s never enough! Had it with doing everything I should do to evolve, and feeling miserable in the process! Had it with having to pay the price of everything! Had it with requirements! Had it with drama that humanity loves so much! Had it with innumerable stupid rules! Had it with the collective consciousness that everything worth while is very difficult!

It’s over! Stupid world full of imbecile and self destructive people! Is it really so difficult for things to work well? What! Do they have shit in their brain? I really tried to be good, to be a better person, to be guided by love, to grow spiritually, to forgive, to follow the highest path, to evolve… I really tried! And… what for? Where’s my prize? Where’s my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

Of course, supposedly following a spiritual road is not for obtaining rewards… but then, what the hell is it for? We’re human and we look for rewards… or in the worst case avoidance of punishment… I actually started with my spiritual practices when I was very small looking for good things to happen to me and avoiding bad things.

I really tried very hard, but now I’m disillusioned and tired of feeling that I advance more and more, without reaching a goal… without arriving at a point where everything, everything makes sense and seems clear… there’s still pain and fear in my life… I can have a wonderful revelation one night and feel horrible the following day… What’s going wrong? Spirituality was supposed to guide me to truth, and the truth would set me free. What am I doing wrong?

After these words of frustration I decided to go into a deep trance, like I did every day, to try to make sense of the chaos of my mind… I went to my bed, I surrounded myself with pillows and got comfortable… then I sighed and closed my eyes.

Now I was meditating and everything made more sense. I started to see how I had come to feel so desperate.

…To be frank, I started to feel desperate a long time ago… I followed a road of spiritual search all my life… I tried everything: rigorously practicing the religion I had since I was little (Catholicism) and when this did no good, starting to study and analyze many other religions, different types of philosophy, self help books, martial arts (since I was 7 years old), psychoanalytic therapy, new age ideas and lifestyle, hypnosis and self hypnosis, different kinds of mind control, movies and books that offered as a great secret the same ideas that the self help books proposed decades before, transcendental meditation, study groups of religions and mysticism, metaphysics, conscious self control, Buddhist detachment and it’s noble eightfold path, the pre-hispanic four accords, raising the energy of my chakras, taking care of each of my words, interviews with great spiritual teachers and gurus, regressions and analysis of my past lives, prayers, mantras, visualization, positive affirmations, and much more that I can’t think of for the moment.

Everything seemed to work… it was like if since adolescence I could see how I knew more each year that passed, I understood many things and I was capable of going beyond anything I had ever imagined… but even so, something was missing.

When I turned 23 it was evident that I felt incomplete. My spirituality (which is something completely different from religion) had taken me some time before to feel better than ever, to experience something that few people know which is real happiness, so I thought that if I developed my spirituality still more I would come out of this new internal crisis.

My spiritual path became the most important thing in my life. Although I did many things like studying for my Master’s degree, training and teaching Tae Kwon Do, going to the gym, having a girlfriend and an active social life (among other things, I was always hyperactive) the most important thing for me was to learn and understand anything that could help me advance in my spiritual evolution. There was no going back, I was searching to free myself… I was searching for enlightenment.

Time passed and the emptiness grew… on the outside everyone saw me advancing, I was an apparently happy person, I smiled more, I had a much more positive attitude, I was more loving and tolerant… It seemed evident that spirituality worked… except that I felt miserable. What was wrong?

The more I turned into a stupid ray of sunshine for the world, the more I tried to bury my own darkness so it wouldn’t obscure the light of love, the more I went towards enlightenment… the more I suffered.

Suddenly I would find something… I had revelations that left me breathless, new doors opened… I advanced more than ever! And then I understood that the emptiness was still rising… it wasn’t logical!

More time passed and I started to follow the spiritual map that saint Theresa of Ávila left for us in her book The Interior Castle… I explored my soul in deep trances of prayer, always thinking that the following step would lead to freedom from my misery… it never happened.

I eventually went through 4 of the 7 mansions of the Castle that according to saint Theresa, form our soul, I arrived at the fifth one and I understood that suffering and pain (which are not the same thing) were part of the path and not something that went away… and frankly, I was no longer willing to go on with it.

It was time to create my own path and not follow others, so one day, I simply freed myself, I got sick of trying so hard to be what others said I should be, be they saints, gurus, spiritual teachers or well known authors of self-help books.

An evolved person is one that…, an enlightened one is one who…, a saint is he who… and then came a long list of requirements… I was sick of trying to fill the requirements that others proposed so I could supposedly evolve spiritually, and of advancing more and more only to feel worse… I felt like a hamster running in it’s stupid little wheel feeling that I was advancing miles while I was still at the same point! In this way, I stopped following what others said I should do.

It seemed that following my own path worked… The emptiness started to disappear and I felt again that deep joy that only those who have felt it can recognize… but it was no longer enough. My goal was much higher!

Now here I am… frustrated once more because of not knowing with certainty if I’m doing the right thing… if my road will take me to enlightenment or to perdition… sick of not seeing definite results… sick of not having a true enlightened one to come and tell me what I’m doing right and what I’m doing wrong!

Argh! May they all rot! I’m going to be myself, period. I’m sick and tired of trying so hard! Searching so much makes me nauseous! To hell with everything! I’m going to go on the Internet and I’m going to talk to the first asshole I find, so I can forget about all this. I’m tired of worrying, I just want some distraction and with luck, to impregnate myself with the marvelous ignorance that makes all these jerks so happy.

I’ll load my old account and my old nickname; Seebeyond. I’ve always been so symbolic even with small details… sigh… I’m curious, what will I be able to see now…?

Ahhhh… marvelous international chat room… a place where I can find a stranger who doesn’t have the slightest idea of who I am and I can feel good proving that my work hasn’t been in vain, because generally it feels as if I were light years ahead of the others… Let’s look at the profiles of these nuts… Who looks promising? Someone with whom in fact I can have a decent conversation?

Aha! A victim! Hmmmm… AngelaWhiteWolf… An interesting name, with luck she’s a lovely psycho that will make my ego happy flirting with me… She’d better have a brain.

Seebeyond- How are you Angela??? =)

AngelaWhiteWolf- Hi =)

Seebeyond- Hi!!

AngelaWhiteWolf- How are you???

Seebeyond- Just fine, how are you??

AngelaWhiteWolf- Hummm… hungry… I get cranky when I haven’t eaten. Wait a sec, I’m going to open a bag of chips.

Ok, a first analysis… it seems this girl is interested in talking to me. Fine, I’m ready to act funny… hummm; she went to get a bag of chips… I like that, at least she’s not anorexic, I already know something about her.

AngelaWhiteWolf- I’m back!! =)

Seebeyond- Hahaha, excellent, and with healthy food next to you, right???

AngelaWhiteWolf- Hahaha, well, it’s good for the soul =p

Seebeyond- I suppose so, bad for the body but good for the soul =D

AngelaWhiteWolf- Noooooo!!! Good for the body and better for the soul!! ;-)

Excellent… I’m talking to a sicko… No, really, excellent! I’m serious! I don’t like sane people, they are so boring!

Seebeyond- Good for the body and good for the soul??? A bag of chips??? =/

AngelaWhiteWolf- Everything is good for the soul, and nothing that feels good is bad for my body

Cool, I’m ready to argue! My huge ego has always loved arguments, they’re a way of showing my intelligence. In the best case, she’ll be very impressed when she hears my arguments. I don’t know anyone who knows more about spiritual subjects than me!

Seebeyond- There are a lot of things that feel good and are bad for your body

AngelaWhiteWolf- No, nothing that feels good is bad for my body >=D

Seebeyond- Any doctor would disagree with you

AngelaWhiteWolf- I don’t care what any doctor thinks; no one is going to come tell me what is bad for MY body. If I say something is good for it, then it is

Ok, that bothers me… no more Mr. Nice guy, it’s time to fight with devastating arguments, to shut her up!… Suddenly my desire for a new fan disappeared in the wake of winning an argument against a person who is evidently stubborn and intelligent…

Seebeyond- Ok Angela, the question is this; you have a human body, which uses chemical processes through which it works, and…

AngelaWhiteWolf- Hahahaha, enough!

Whaaaat???? She interrupted me???!!!???!!!

AngelaWhiteWolf- I’m not here to flirt. I’m not here to argue either… well, actually I am, but not about this. And by the way, I’m a heterosexual man just like you, so I’d like you to stop thinking with the head you were using when you noticed my name and start thinking with the one that’s further up =p

Whaaaaat? She fooled me!!!!!!

Seebeyond- Why didn’t you tell me from the beginning???

AngelaWhiteWolf- Because I wouldn’t have caught your interest like I did, and I wouldn’t have made you mad either, and with you, making you mad is a sure way to make you pay attention ;-)

Bitch! Whore! Slut!… But she’s right, now she has me caught, there is no way that I’ll stop talking to her… Oh, right! It’s not a woman, it’s a man… I’m so angry I didn’t even remember that.

…Ah! But of course that I’m not going to admit I’ve been successfully manipulated, so I’ll just continue

Seebeyond- Ok, so, what do you want?

AngelaWhiteWolf- It’s you I want

Seebeyond- What??????

AngelaWhiteWolf- I want what you want

(I doubt it… I want to strangle you)

Seebeyond- And… how do you know what I want?

AngelaWhiteWolf- Because I’m more you than you’ve ever imagined

Seebeyond- You don’t say. Well, then, what do I want?

AngelaWhiteWolf- You want to achieve enlightenment >=D

Seebeyond- …excuse me??

AngelaWhiteWolf- You want to achieve enlightenment, at least that’s what you call it, and that’s what many others call reaching a more transcendental state of consciousness

AngelaWhiteWolf- There’s a lot of confusion about what achieving enlightenment is exactly, and that’s because nobody knows what they’re talking about… they have myths, legends, stories from old enlightened ones and fantastic tales of their great achievements… they have spiritual teachers who tell them as if it were a fact, what they think enlightenment is… or sainthood… or nirvana… but if they really knew what it was, they would know that enlightenment isn’t something you can define, or reach, or follow, or look for.

Ok, this bitch has my full attention, and my desire to discredit her and beat her in a debate… Oh yeah… it’s a man… true, true.

Seebeyond- And I suppose, Angela that you DO know what it is, right???

AngelaWhiteWolf- Of course

Seebeyond- Of course??? So you’re an enlightened one?

AngelWhiteWolf- Of course. I AM Angel WhiteWolf, I AM an enlightened one, and now, it’s you that I want

Seebeyond- Thank God!!! A true enlightened one who’s going to show me everything I don’t know! My prayers have been answered… at least you finally changed your name for a male one, oh! Great master!!!

AngelWhiteWolf- Your sarcasm is irritating, and yes! I really am an enlightened one who has come to show you that you have nothing to learn and that you know everything. Yes, your prayers have been answered and they always have been, I’m only here to make you conscious of it

Seebeyond- Aha… well, if you are enlightened, why does my sarcasm irritate you so much?

AngelWhiteWolf- Why does it irritate me? Well let me explain, it’s impolite, disrespectful, childish, I love it when I use it with someone or when someone uses it on someone I dislike, but when it applies to me, I have homicidal

Reviews for Angel Whitewolf

[Nadia · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Me enseñó que la iluminación espiritual también es para las personas “oscuras” de corazón y de mente. La espiritualidad también es para los malos.