Miracles on the Wall

By Debbie Kinner

Jasmin struggles to overcome tumultuous storms filled with seasons of bitterness, death, sickness, disappointment, and heartache. She is consumed by an unexplainable, unidentifiable emptiness from wanting to have a mom and dad like her friends and longing to be under the same roof as her brothers. All of Jasmins friends had moms to shop with and dads who were their heroes and biggest fans. What made her different? Why did God single her out? Maybe her psychologist was right and she needed to read the diaries her brothers kept, locking away family secrets. All she had to do was unlock the diaries, and read. Could acquainting herself with the past be a good thing? Would she find herself? Her psychologist thought she should read the diaries in his presence and that she was a fragile egg about to crack. She was not. She knew her own strength. She could do this, and she could do it alone. She was not a little girl anymore. When no one was looking, she turned into a bright, strong, mature, independent woman. She wonders if the void in her heart would be the same if her parents had lived. Is the death of her parents the only missing link? One person can help her. Can she trust him? Will she forego the bitterness she clings to, or will she protect herself behind her thick, secure, Jericho walls?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Inspiring Voices
• Release date: Feb 14, 2014
• ISBN: 9781462409051

Debbie Kinner

Debbie Crites Kinner, with two years of college at Lamar University in Beaumont, Texas, and thirteen years’ experience working as a legal secretary, is currently fulfilling her lifelong dream of writing. She resides with her husband, her best friend of thirty-five years. She is the mother of two sons, one daughter, and one bonus daughter. She is “Lolli” to Drayton Joel, Makenzie, and Xander.

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Copyright © 2014 Debbie Kinner.

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ISBN: 978-1-4624-0904-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4624-0905-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014902109

Inspiring Voices rev. date: 02/12/2014

Contents

Author’s Note

Preface

SEASON ONE

Chapter 1 Bitterness Road

Chapter 2 Unlocking The Diary

Chapter 3 The Family Meeting

Chapter 4 A Heart Like His

Chapter 5 The Family Bible

Chapter 6 Chicken And Dumplings

Chapter 7 Moyamoya

SEASON TWO

Chapter 8 Remembering Pop

Chapter 9 The Heart Thief

Chapter 10 Saving Gloria

Chapter 11 What Ike Drug In

Chapter 12 Losing Glory

Chapter 13 Fruit Of The Spirit

Chapter 14 Remember Your Elders

Chapter 15 The Baby Grand Piano

Chapter 16 The Quilt

Chapter 17 In Your Face, Devil

Chapter 18 The Secret Garden

In loving memory of

My dad and mom, Charles and Christina Crites, it is amazing how much I love you when I never knew you.

Dan, the only daddy I ever knew. To me you were Pop and to you I was Debba-do. I love and miss you every day. I fed on your courage and strength during the darkest storm of my life. I wish Allyson and Drayton could have met their witty Paw Paw.

Charles Chick, my oldest brother, you left this life way too young. I loved you so much and miss you always.

Jack, my half-brother, I love and miss you. I often think how wonderful it would be if you were still with us.

Ric, my loving brother, and my heart, you have been gone eight years and yet the ache in my heart remains. Thank you for persuading me to go to church with you. It was by far my wisest decision. I love you, my talented artist.

Granny, my sweet mother-in-law, I love you. I wish you could have met your great-grandson, Drayton Joel. Thank you for raising such a wonderful son. I have kept the Kinner holiday tradition going. We still have your homemade chicken and dumplings.

Murlene, thank you for inviting a couple of kids to go to church with you and for all the years you drove me to church. You once told me, Don’t look to the left or the right. Keep your eyes on The Lord and you’ll make it all the way home. My eyes are on Him. I will meet you in the morning, just inside the Eastern gates.

Joe and Dorothy, my true inspiration, I have never known more Christ-like people in my lifetime. No one else compares. I love you. I wish you were here to help spoil our sweet Drayton Joel. Joe would be proud of his red headed namesake.

Giving honor to

My gracious God and best friend, there is no One who owns a bigger piece of my heart than You, my Prince of Peace. You are the air I breathe. I love You with every fiber of my being. I cannot wrap my brain around the wonder of seeing You face to face. Thank you for Your healing power.

My soul mate and best friend, Larry, thank you for loving me unconditionally as Christ loves the church. I am more in love with you today than I was yesterday, and I will be more in love with you tomorrow than I am today. I told you when I was sixteen years old that I wanted to grow old with you, well, here we are, babe. Enjoy!

Daniel, my firstborn son, I adore you. It is as simple as that. You are my favorite drummer, hands-down. Your phenomenal talent mesmerizes me. I am grateful for that beautiful, talented wife, sweet Amanda, you introduced to our family. I love every opportunity I have to hear her angelic voice. She completes you. I love you both to the moon and back.

Amber, my beautiful daughter and dearest friend, I desperately wanted a daughter. I am honored God blessed me with one as special as you. I am grateful God gave you the love of your life, our one of a kind, Dathaniel. I am proud to call him my preacher son-in-law. You two are doing a great job parenting, and a great work in the Kingdom of God. I love you both to the ends of the earth.

Chris, my youngest son, my caboose, my miracle, my little engine that could…I am so proud of you. You have accomplished everything doctors said you would never accomplish. I feel honored to be your mom. I look forward to meeting your wife someday. I know God has someone special in mind. I love you around the world and back again, a gazillion times.

Drayton Joel, my grandson a/k/a Lolli’s heart thief, you were and always will be my most treasured birthday present. You, with that gorgeous red hair, charming smile, and delightful personality, have your Lolli tightly wound around your little chubby finger. You are my sunshine. I love you more than words can say my darling grandson.

Allyson, my gorgeous niece, you got your wittiness from your Paw Paw. Aunt Debbie loves you sweetie. You will always be my pootin-nanny and always hold a special place in my heart.

Natalie, Alan, Makenzie, and Xander, I love each of you special. I love being Lolli to Makenzie and Xander. I am thankful God heard your prayer, Natalie, because by doing so, He blessed us both with family.

Fern a/k/a Maw, my beautiful half-sister, all I can say is God surely smiled on me when He gave me you. I hope I did your character of Liz justice. You are truly a Godsend. I do not know where I would be without your influence on my life. Thank you hardly seems adequate. I love you, more.

My amazing brothers, Randy, Earl, Dean, and Martin, I am one blessed woman to call you four handsome men my brothers. I love you and your families to Alaska and back again walking barefoot in the snow. You have been a tower of strength.

Joan, my bubbly sister-in-law, I love and appreciate you. Thank you for your love, prayers, and support during my illness. Your promise is coming down that dusty road. Look for it.

My nieces, great-nieces, nephews, great-nephews, always remember that Aunt Debbie loves each of you special. I always will.

My pastoral family far, and wide, my church family far, and wide, and friends far, and wide, you are simply the best. Thank you for keeping the prayers going when I depended on them the most. I love and appreciate you. I am skeptical of mentioning names here for fear of leaving someone out. You know who you are.

Melanie Duvall and Anna Heard, thank you two precious women of God for the years of encouragement and prayers. Melanie, I pray your long awaited healing comes. I want you to enjoy every new sunrise, free of sickness. I love you, my friend.

Brenda Lawhorn, my angel friend, thank you for the many prayers, cards, multimedia sermons, and most of all your friendship. I love you.

Fellow patients dealing with rare blistering skin diseases such as pemphigus or pemphigoid, hang in there. There is a light at the end of the dark and winding tunnel of despair. Do not be afraid to try treatments yet approved by the Federal Drug Administration. Make sure you have an expert doctor. When it seems you cannot grasp hope, search for it until you find it and then cling to it as if it were your only lifeline. You have a disease, but it only wins when it has you. Love to you all.

Love,

Debbie

AUTHOR’S NOTE

My real life experiences are very similar to the story told in Miracles on the Wall, though not identical. Approximately sixty percent of the story is factual; however, portions are purely fiction. I took liberties, here and there, to make the story more compelling. In order to protect the identity of the characters, most names were changed.

Prior to Miracles on the Wall going to press, I prayed the reader would be encouraged in The Lord. I pray God restores your faith, hope, and trust. No matter how big your storm is, God is bigger. Life lessons come to us all, stormy seasons that seem unbearable. How we permit the storms to shape and form our character is what will be remembered and passed on to future generations. It is up to us to create our own legacy.

God is no respecter of persons. What He has done for one, He will do for another. Faith is seeing things as though they were. It is seeing light in the face of darkness. When your circumstances are the direct opposite of the outcome you desire, speak your ending into existence. God does not choose from a selective group whom He will heal. He loves us equally. It is His will that we receive the desires of our hearts. Many seasons come and go, seasons of sickness, death, loss, depression, and faithlessness. Hold on to God’s capable hands. He will turn your mourning into dancing. He did mine. Through Him, you can live victoriously, every day.

With love and prayers,

Debbie

PREFACE

Many years ago, I wanted to change my name to Jasmin. I am not sure why I would have chosen that name, or why at the time I would consider changing the name my mother and father gave me, but I did.

My father died of a heart attack when I was three months old. My mother died of cancer when I was four years old. My lovely half-sister and her husband raised me at their home in Fannett, Texas. Until I met Jesus Christ, The King of Kings, I was bitter about losing my parents before given the opportunity to know them. God changed my heart in one single church service.

Miracles on the Wall is not a pity party. It is an acknowledgement of the faithfulness of The Potter. God is faithful. Before conception, He molded the clay of my life, even today. I do not know what tomorrow holds or what I may face ten years from now, but The Master Planner will be by my side. I cannot control or change one single day, nor can I add one hour to my life. All I can control is my reaction to whatever life brings my way.

I have stopped pondering the what ifs of life. What if my parents would have lived, what if my sister had not taken me in to raise, what if I had not gone to church, what if I had not married my best friend, what if…Instead I have learned to trust that God knows what is best for me and to walk wherever He leads. Where He leads, I will follow, whether a path of my choosing or a road less traveled.

It was at church that I met and married my amazing husband. Our children are involved in the churches they attend and love The God that made their lives possible. I am happy they are passing the heritage given to them, to their children. I would not want to face one single day without God and I do not want my grandchildren to either.

I desired to write a book for many years. Due to the blessings of God that required my attention, such as my husband, children, church, fulltime job, and housework, the book was on the back burner. When diagnosed with pemphigus vulgaris in October of 2008, I realized I suddenly had all the time in the world. The problem now was feeling well enough to think, much less write.

The harshness of pemphigus is parallel to the description in Miracles on the Wall. What is referred to as healing in Miracles on the Wall, doctors refer to as remission. There is no known cure for pemphigus. I contribute my season of healing to my faith in God, belief in the Bible, and the prayers of many. Faith the size of a grain of mustard seed can move mountains. My mountain moved.

I had cataracts in both eyes at the age of fifty, caused by prednisone. I had eye plugs placed at the base of my eyelids to keep them from adhering to my eyeball, after pemphigus found its way to my eyes. The outpatient cataract surgeries were nothing compared to the two inpatient surgeries, all pemphigus related. So yes, faith is a requirement to travel the unrelenting road of pemphigus. I had an awesome medical team, but my trust remained in God, not man. Many, after fifteen to twenty years of battling pemphigus, are still waiting on remission. I pray God blesses those precious people.

The number of new pemphigus cases diagnosed each year ranges from as high as five per one hundred thousand to, as low as one per million, depending on the type of pemphigus and the ethnicity of the affected population. While pemphigus is serious, treatments are continually improving. Pemphigus will test your strength, patience, and resolve. Those at the International Pemphigus Foundation, some living with the disease themselves, are extremely helpful on the journey toward better health.

In a person with pemphigus, the immune system mistakenly perceives desmoglein in the epidermis as foreign and produces autoantibodies that attack the desmoglein. When this happens, the skin cells separate from each other. It is as though the skin becomes unglued. This causes burn-like lesions or blisters that do not heal. In some cases, these blisters can cover a significant area of the body. It did in my case.

Sometimes large doses of prednisone are required to bring pemphigus under control. This may take weeks, months, or sometimes years. Generally, once the disease has been controlled the prednisone is gradually tapered. Tapering of prednisone is important to reduce the side effects or flare in disease activity that can occur if the drug is suddenly withdrawn.

When all is said and done, believe in miracles. They happen every day. I know, because I am one.

For information regarding pemphigus vulgaris or other blistering skin diseases, contact:

International Pemphigus Pemphigoid Foundation

1331 Garden Highway, Suite 100

Sacramento, CA 95833

United States of America

Website: www.pemphigus.org

Email: [e-mail]

The journey would have been much more difficult without the support, information, advice, and direction I received from this foundation. I thank you all.

SEASON ONE

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CHAPTER 1

Bitterness Road

The chilly air was delightful as Jasmin made the long walk from the parking garage where she parked her white pearl Escalade, to the office. This time of year put a bounce in her step. She loved it when the daytime temperatures lingered in the high thirties and she wore a long skirt, sweater with coordinating scarf, and boots to work. To Jasmin, winter outfits looked best when accessorized with scarves.

Last winter Jasmin crocheted over seventy scarves using Starbella ruffle yarn, a popular yarn available in a large variety of color combinations, from solid colors to multi-colors. A dozen of the scarves filled her dresser drawer but the rest went to coworkers, family, and friends. Today, Jasmin sported a red western style skirt with silver buttons sewn down the front, black cashmere sweater, red ruffle scarf and black Ariat cowboy boots. The only time Jasmin shopped for western clothes was for the Houston rodeo, so not many cowgirl outfits crowded the closet.

After the walk to the office, Jasmin’s neck and shoulders hurt. It was her fault for insisting on making one trip from the parking garage to the office. Today she toted a black patent purse with embellished zebra print rose, laptop case, brief case, and white chocolate mocha latte from Dunkin Donuts. Sometimes Jasmin longed for special privileges like Gulf Steel’s clients that parked directly across the street from the building.

A quieter, less stressful week at the office appeared hopeful. Heath Rhodes; chief estimator for Gulf Steel, a prosperous company with six locations, specializing in ship repair, was out of town bidding a multi-million dollar job. While Mr. Rhodes was away Jasmin hoped to catch up on invoicing, data entry, time and material report revisions, and everything else piled on the L-shaped desk. With any luck, she would have at least one calm afternoon to sip a cup of medium roast coffee or hot chocolate topped with marshmallows.

The dashing, easygoing Heath Rhodes was content with single life. Due to the demand of meeting pressing deadlines, Jasmin’s job was hectic. Mr. Rhodes, even during crunch time, never took his frustrations out on the assistant. However, the women stuck working for the owner of the company, described the man as the king of royal jerks. They envied Jasmin and were ready to fill her shoes if she ever moved on, which she had no intention of doing.

Jasmin was the youngest child of Charles and Christina Crites. From early on she spent the day running from the past and pretending certain occurrences never happened. The workweek of forty plus hours provided the one thing Jasmin needed to survive, a good distraction. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop, she said, often. Since she could not afford to give way to the devil’s tactics, idle time was limited to a bare minimum.

Jasmin’s stylish appearance fooled people into thinking she had it all together. The fake smile and Super Woman mask representing strength, brilliantly camouflaged a troubled past. Mr. Rhodes knew nothing about the life his assistant led beyond the outer walls of Gulf Steel. On Monday mornings, when he enquired about Jasmin’s weekend she never elaborated with her answers. She offered the same mundane response, Absolutely wonderful weekend, Mr. Rhodes. On Secretary’s Day when he invited her to lunch, the conversation remained light or geared to one of Gulf Steel’s newest clients.

Detail oriented and task driven, Jasmin demonstrated loyalty and efficiency as an employee. The focus on employment duties occupied a troubled mind and left less time for insanity trips. The days spent at work were a blessing, but the days spent at home with free time on her hands, were a curse from below. Jasmin finally agreed to see a psychologist about a troubled past. The agreement was strictly to appease family members and not because of Jasmin’s personal faith in the man’s abilities.

More work reached completion stage when Jasmin’s boss was not around to interrupt every ten minutes. However, haunting thoughts rocketed in the quietness of the office. If Jasmin were a magician with a magic wand and top hat, she