Exit the Subzone

By Tina Taylor

They say that everything that happens, happens for a specific reason and Sebastian Blackwell and Michael Reed will soon come to realize that they are no exception of this age old rule. The events that will inevitably follow, shall entrap Sebastian within the unknown dimensions of his sleeping subconscious and as a result, a door shall be opened. Although not a sound penetrates the infinite darkness, a sound is made just the same. This door however, isn't technically a door at all and yet in the same breath, it is still an opening between the physical and spiritual realms. As for Michael Reed, Sebastians best friend, his path will cast him down into eternal darkness from which there will be absolutely no return. Doorways are everywhere, even those that shouldn't be there to begin with. Still, just because they shouldn't, doesn't mean that they aren't there and just because we cannot see them, doesn't mean that they dont exist.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 5, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477280768

Tina Taylor

My name is Tina M. Taylor, and I was born and raised in Indiana, Pennsylvania, by my mother, Louella Barton. I have always possessed a passion for reading, so it came to no surprise to myself when I had decided to become a writer. I would like to dedicate this book to God, for without him, none of this would be possible—also, to my four sons: Dean, and his wife Krystina; Donald, William, and Alan.

Book preview

PROLOGUE

They say that everything that happens, happens for a specific reason and Sebastian Blackwell and Michael Reed will soon come to realize that they are no exception of this age old rule. Without either of their knowledge, a metaphysical storm is brewing and gathering together its predestined and life altering forces, which will ultimately lead both Sebastian and Michael down two entirely different paths toward Fate’s ever encompassing design.

The events that will inevitably follow, shall entrap Sebastian within the unknown dimensions of his sleeping subconscious and as a result, a door shall be opened. Although not a sound penetrates the infinite darkness, a sound is made just the same. This door however, isn’t technically a door at all and yet in the same breath, it is still an opening between the physical and spiritual realms, a portal between the conscious and unconscious worlds’. As for Michael Reed, Sebastian’s best friend, his path will cast him down into eternal darkness from which there will be absolutely no return.

Doorways are everywhere, even those that shouldn’t be there to begin with. Still, just because they shouldn’t, doesn’t mean that they aren’t there and just because we cannot see them, doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.

CHAPTER ONE

As if awakening from the foggy depths of some haunted and chilling dream and yet somehow still entangled within the boundaries of such agitated and fearful nightmares, Sebastian slowly opened his eyes. A violent wave of dizziness washed down across him like icy waves crashing against the dead and forlorn shore of uncertainty.

Sebastian closed his eyes and then almost instantly, he reopened them again. He even repeats the process several more times, but the feeling that something had gone completely wrong, continues to linger like spoil upon his tongue. Sebastian’s mind wanted to insist that he was dreaming and that he was merely trading one nightmare for yet another. However, there is a part of Sebastian that really doesn’t quite believe that.

Rubbing his eyes, Sebastian looks around at his current surroundings and almost instantly comes to the conclusion, that he certainly isn’t anyplace he has any business being. He doesn’t remember how he got here, not to mention, he doesn’t know exactly where here is. The only thing that Sebastian does know for certain, is that he isn’t in the real world any longer.

Sebastian can’t help but to feel like he is entrapped within some uncluttered dimension, where he himself possibly doesn’t even exist. The longer he continues to stand there, the more his feet seem to sink down into the sticky fibers of some grand and massive spider web, a spider web that couldn’t be anything other than the cruel grasp of the Fate’s themselves.

Everything was such a complete and utter shock to Sebastian, that he felt numb to everything that he was seeing or perhaps he was feeling that way, because of the lack of everything he wasn’t seeing. Because of the obviousness of this, his mind was in a total state of devastation. Even as he looked around, his mind conjured up a name that seemed to suit this empty world with complete accuracy, The Barren Desert of Reality and yes, he had to concur.

As Sebastian’s mind hissed those words out like the wind escaping someone’s lungs that had suddenly been deflated, Sebastian couldn’t help but to feel mentally and emotionally defeated.

Those words while still within the confinements of his brain, had sounded mentally stupid. However, the moment he had spoken them out loud, they seemed to just make absolutely perfect sense to him. What didn’t feel right to him though, was this odd place. Everything was all wrong, especially with all of the strange absences. Everything seemed to have been erased and it was quite possible that time itself didn’t even dare tread here he told himself.

As if some invisible foe had just snuck up behind him and sucker punched him in the side of the head, Sebastian’s mind managed grasp a hold of some deep and profound knowledge. This acknowledgement not only disturbed him, but it also felt completely insane and utterly irrational as well. This knowing spilled down across his chaotic mind like the downpour of some violent and angry thunderstorm, wrecking havoc upon the world beneath its vast expanse.

Suddenly, a fear so deep and chilling, reached out its claw like fingers and dug its razor sharp talons down into the pulpy mass that was his heart. Sebastian could almost feel the maggot infested fingers of some rotted and decaying corpse, scraping down across the base of his tingling spine. Shivering briefly, but intensely, Sebastian couldn’t quite disperse this disturbing vision that had rudely enveloped the core of his mind nor could he seem to shake the feelings that the visions had invoked within him.

This fear caused something so profound and corrosive to invade and dominate his entire being. In this, Sebastian found that he had never been quite as terrified in his entire life as he was right at that precise moment. Sebastian’s emotions were beyond terrifying and no matter how desperately he tried to free his mind from terror’s invisible bindings, he just couldn’t seem keep the truth locked out.

He may have been a grown man, but he honestly felt like crying and found no shame in his tears. Still, he managed to fight them back and ultimately, he refused them access. With reluctant acceptance of the truth, Sebastian covered his flushed face up with the palms of his trembling hands and tried to shove the distinct knowledge and the complete knowing of his situation, far away from him.

These unacceptable truths, felt like they were literally suffocating him to death. Part of the reason why he was feeling like this was because he didn’t want to acknowledge what he knew. Sebastian didn’t want to understand even a fraction of what he knew to be factual and yet at the same time, there was no feasible way he could deny such truths either and this made it seem even worse somehow. Try as he might to fight this inevitability, the truth remained relentless it its pursuit and the raw pain of this profound acknowledgement, was slashing open his mind with a huge proverbial sword of his own making.

A sudden coldness slipped into Sebastian’s soul and along with it, came a powerful sense of foreboding and dread. He literally felt chilled right down to marrow of his slate gray bones, almost as if some haunted draft had just crept up upon him in the dead of the night. Thoughts of pure chaos clawed bitterly at his jumbled mind and demanded answers to a million questions, questions he simply possessed no answers for. And for those question he may have known the answers to, they appeared to be hiding themselves within the dusty attic of his still sleeping subconscious.

Wasn’t it true though, he thought? Weren’t some truths just easier to accept than others were, especially when the truth pertained directly to number Uno. Perhaps upon some deeper level of consciousness, there was a part of him that understood more clearly about the ramifications of what had befallen him. While the other half of whom and what he was, wasn’t willing to accept the truth of the matter even in the slightest.

Clearly, the world that had once been Sebastian’s world, the quote-unquote—real world, the physical realm of existence, continued to trudge onward as the mechanical masses continued to live out their mundane and predictable lives. Then for example; take this messed up world here, this erased dimension of utter nothingness, a peculiar world were nothing of the normal world could be heard, let alone seen. Here, where only the knowledge that something horrible had happened to him existed, here where he could do nothing to change the course of events that awaited his arrival.

Sebastian couldn’t un-think it once he had conjured up the vindictive image, because it had made a permanent impression that had embedded and chiseled itself deep inside of his throbbing and pulsating brain. Something had gone wrong all right and it went about as wrong as it could have possibly gone. A vast and universal mistake had taken place, a mistake that was as plain as the nose on his face. As a result, he had somehow winked out of existence altogether and in an immortal blink of an eye, he had winked right into a classic episode of the Twilight Zone.

Sebastian wanted to shove the voice inside of his head away. He, in fact, wanted to deny it a voice. This was a voice he knew that he was unable to stop, a inner voice that spoke its mind whenever it damn well chose to do so, which left him with no choice but to listen.

(Welcome one and all, welcome to the Dream World Express. No ticket purchasing required, no appointment scheduling necessary, because folks after all, here in the, Barren Desert of Reality, time of course doesn’t exist, nothing exists and most certainly will absolutely not exist.

So welcome, because here on the Dream World Express, we’re here to meet all of your traveling needs. We will gladly carry you beyond the boundaries of dreams, where some dreams are more real and vivid than reality itself, while other dreams are merely a figment of your own over active imagination. Yes folks, here within the, Barren Desert of Reality, one dream can easily devour another and your sanity as well if you so desire it. Because here, each dream is more lucid and more real than the previous dream before it, all joyfully consuming reality and fantasy alike.

Can you say halleluiah ladies and gentlemen?

In this world, you will never be able to truly comprehend where reality begins and fantasy ends. When you travel the Dream World Express, we will meet all of your traveling requirements. Stay as long as you like and if you so desire, stay with us for eternity. Because after all, we have billions upon billions of satisfied customers. Won’t you be next? No. I’m afraid we must insist otherwise).

Mentally shaking himself awake, Sebastian grabbed the voice of insanity by the scruff of the proverbial neck and allowed the voices of logic and reason to add their two pennies to the conversation. Look here, the duel voices of logic and reason chimed in simultaneously. If you’ll just excuse us a moment Partmer, this is just merely a minor set back, because everybody knows that sometimes you have to take a few steps backward in order to move ahead. So why don’t you just think of this place as a sort of mental rest stop, a check point if you will, a place where you are going to take a brief intermission before moving onto your final destination. So just breathe deep and relax Partmer, take a quick break and we assure you that everything will be back to normal in no time at all.

Within the suffocating depths of his incoherent mind, Sebastian wondered if he or some immortal Prince had decided to wink yet again, because the insane and chaotic image that suddenly filled his mind, was all too vivid in its rash and harsh content. In that instant, reality felt more real to him than it had ever felt to him. It was almost as if his thoughts had magically manifested their presence and became tangible right before his very eyes, just like a magician’s disappearing woman reappearing in a puff of eerie gray smoke.

As Sebastian gazed out across the Barren Desert of Reality before him, his mind glimpsed a mental image of an open field of wild flowers expanding before him. In this vision, Sebastian watched as the most breath taking and magnificent beings began to steadily move in toward him. Sebastian had to literally shake his head to try and clear his mind, but the vision before him remained unchanged. Slowly, but still moving closer toward him was the most enchanted and beautiful beings, that he had ever bore witness unto. Goddesses was all that he could seem to think, because surely there wasn’t any way that they could be anything else his mind reasoned.

From what he could see, their magnificent forms were tall, elegant and damn near perfect. Not only that, but they also possessed wings of an un-imaginable expanse. Perhaps they were Angels’ he thought, angelic creatures that looked to be as mortal as he himself appeared to be. Still, at the same time, they were no such things. Then again he thought, perhaps they were Immortal Princesses from some foredoomed fairy tale.

Suddenly, these enchanted beings were moving far too slow for his taste and Sebastian found himself wanting to move closer toward them. Perhaps he only wanted to draw them into his hungry embrace, if for perhaps no other purpose than to prove to himself that they were actually really there and so that he would know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he hadn’t entirely lost his mind. However, as he went to take a step closer and to his astonishment, he found that his feet had suddenly became rooted to the spot in which he stood. His heart beat suddenly sounded far too loud in his ears and he could feel himself starting to trembling in anticipation.

As if the breath of the breeze had just embodied itself into full manifestation, Sebastian heard a word and that word was, Mystique. This word had sounded like it was whispered right next to his ear, almost as if the breeze possessed invisible lips and as the word Mystique brushed seductively against his ear lobe, it sounded more like a drawn out sigh than a real word at all. Goose bumps kissed his feverish flesh, as a single tear spilled from the corner of his eye. Instantly, Sebastian realized he had heard the breath of the world whispering to him just as if this magical and unfelt breeze, had just released an immortal kiss from between its moist invisible lips.

Then if he couldn’t be shocked anymore than he already was, the next words he heard gave him chills. Sebastian know that in the end, all is as it should be. For the day of the green has finally transcended and now, we must follow the infinite path of a new era, a new millennium and merge into a new day.

The women that approached him were naked and yet, none of them were ashamed of their nakedness. And low and behold, upon their backs were massive wings, wings not that of angels, but instead of something far greater perhaps. From what Sebastian could see, their wings were beyond magical, they were vastly wide and consisted of the colors orange and violet. These spectacular colors were simply so completely penetrating visually, that Sebastian’s soul literally wept because of their radiant intensity.

As these mysterious women approached Sebastian, they stretched out their beautifully muscled arms toward him. Although these people were no where near him, he could almost feel their powerful and yet delicious arms, pulling him into their awaiting embrace.

Sebastian felt like he was dreaming, but despite this, he could still clearly hear his name being spoken. Sebastian knew that he wasn’t imagining this, because his imagination couldn’t have ever conjured up such a magical sounding melody. There was nothing that could have possessed the beauty and awe that he heard ringing in his ears like a mystical hum. The voice he was hearing sounded like it was both inside of his head and out side of his head all at the same time. The woman’s voice seemed to come from all directions at once and yet, from nowhere at all. In truth, it sounded like something someone hears when they are thinking to themselves and at the same time, it sounded like the Goddess was standing right next to him.

More startled by this than Sebastian cared to admit to himself, he took a step back, if for no other reason than to ground himself and to keep reality from disappearing entirely. The moment he gazed into the woman’s eyes that had spoke to him, he found himself lost within their smoldering violet depths. So much so, that he found himself totally and completely lost within her mystically magnetic and heavenly essence.

All of a sudden, none of Sebastian’s forgotten memories seemed to mean anything to him anymore nor did anything in this erased dimension of nothingness and absence. Absolutely nothing seemed to hold an ounce of importance to him or for him any longer. At least not for the time being it didn’t, because at the moment, all was as it should be.

From the very beginning when the Goddess began to speak to him, Sebastian realized that he had been holding his breath. For just one brief and fleeting moment, he felt unconnected and connected to himself and to all things in creation, both big and small, important and irrelevant, both the sane and insane, the happy and the sad and just as all of these emotions crashed directly into him, they instantly vanished.

From the moment this queen of the unknown, but yet the knowable had spoken and her breath had fanned his face like the fragrance of the rarest flower from the blessed Garden of Eden, the only thing that seemed to exist unto Sebastian was her presence and her presence alone.

When Sebastian finally found the words that had somehow been held captive in his throat, he sounded like a stranger speaking. Cutting Sebastian off in mid sentence, she hushed him gently, almost as if her words were but a silken caress of the warmest sunshine. Her voice was like no other he had ever heard and somehow, he simply knew it was like no other he’d ever hear again. The very sound of her voice was like that of the most enchanted and perfect melody, for it was the voice of an angel and he had accepted it as such.

Making eye contact, Sebastian stood mesmerized by her presence as he listened carefully to each word she said to him. Her eyes were as deep as the oceans and just looking into them, made him feel slightly intoxicated and powerfully excited. Looking into her deep eyes of violet fire, caused his heart to almost cease to beat and when she next spoke, his heart literally burst back into animation with all the power of a vast fireworks display set off all in union.

Sebastian you do not know me or mine, but know that I have existed long before you have come into being. Although you know us not, we have all known about your coming while you were merely nothing more than a thought within the ancestor’s ethereal minds. In time Sebastian, you will remember what it is that you are supposed to remember. As for now, do not push at these lost memories or fight with their inevitable presence. For in their own time, they will make themselves known to you. I do understand that there is much that needs to be said and I really wish there was more time to talk to you about everything that you will need to know, but I am afraid that cannot be just now. I will tell you this though, I know that mistakes have indeed occurred, but without mistakes and their inevitable experiences and consequences, one will not grow and evolve. So what you must come to understand, is that mistakes are a necessity in this life.

Sebastian everything that happens, happens for a specific reason whether we choose to believe such things or not. Therefore, things will happen, things which you will not want to happen and these will be things you must not prevent from happening. A greater power other than that of man has intervened to ensure that certain impending events will unfold as they should, because it is inevitable that they occur and not be altered.

However, there are certain aspects of your life which you must also evaluate for yourself and you cannot do so while certain influences effect your waking life. In time Sebastian, all will be made known and when that time arrives, you must and will face your Fate. In every battle there are sacrifices that must be made and this war is no exception. Sacrifices will be made to benefit the greater good. Remember these words Sebastian, all is as it should be and so shall it remain as such.

Sebastian didn’t wanted to do it, but it was almost an involuntary spasm. Without meaning to, Sebastian sighed and closed his eyes briefly. Perhaps he done this in an attempt to regain some mental control over his seemingly powerless situation and just as he had feared, these majestic creatures had vanished back into the nothingness from whence they had come.

CHAPTER TWO

Michael Reed had stepped away for seven, maybe eight minutes at the most, if it had indeed been that long. Still, the fact of the matter was that it had been long enough for that fatal hit of blotter acid Michael had given Sebastian to kick in and to take affect. It had also been long enough for Sebastian to zone out of this world and merge into another world of his own creating. It had definitely been long enough for his heart to stop beating and flat line. It had certainly been long enough for Sebastian to slip beyond the boundaries of mortal consciousness and reality alike, ultimately sinking deeper into the unknown dimensions of his own haunted and complicated mind.

Michael just couldn’t understand how any of this had happened, because it most certainly wasn’t supposed to happen like this for God sake. For the love of God, it was Sebastian’s Twenty First birthday and all Michael had intended, was to show his best friend in life a good time for his birthday. But this! God no, not this, never something like this and as God was his witness, he had never meant for something so horrible to happen.

This was something that Michael wouldn’t even wish on his worst enemy. This was some bad jue—jue and it equaled to big trouble, stressing on the capital letter T. These were the things that nightmares were made from and God how he wished that was all it was, but he was shit out of luck on that account. Things couldn’t have gone more wrong and with a touch of self-pity, he couldn’t help but to think that this was just the story of his life.

Michael and Sebastian were best friends—are best friends he thinks almost frantically to himself. Hell, they were more than that, they were brothers in every sense of the word. All except for the whole blood part, that is. They had grown up together and for as long as he could remember, they had pretty much lived in close proximity to one another. However, they never attempted living with one other, because each was as different as night was from day.

In fact, they had both attended the same elementary school and later, the same high school. Personally, Michael had quit school in the eighth grade, while Sebastian had gone on to graduate with honors. On occasions they had both double dated and every once in a blue moon, they had found out that they were dating the same chick.

To say the least, that pretty much ended up being not such a good thing. But nine times out of ten, it ended up being something that they had both laughed about later on down the road. However, when you had seen Michael Reed, you just took for granted that Sebastian Blackwell wasn’t too far behind or vise-a-verse-a.

Tripping wasn’t anything new for Michael, he had done the stuff so many times that it wasn’t even remotely possible to add them all up and come to a conclusive and definite total. However, this had been the first time that Sebastian had ever tripped and apparently by the looks of things, it was also going to be the last time he would ever do anything like that again.

If that hadn’t been bad enough, it was Michael who had talked him into doing the acid. That only meant one thing in his opinion, he, Michael Reed, was the blame for everything in this tragedy’s aftermath and there was definitely no denying that fact.

In the very beginning, Sebastian didn’t even want to try the stuff. But Michael being Michael, he just couldn’t leave well enough alone and take no for an answer. Pussy, was what Michael had called him for not wanting to do it. Then, he added for good measure, "come on Partmer you’ll love it, it’s a trip and then they both started laughing. But Michael wasn’t laughing now was he? No, he sure in the hell wasn’t laughing now and Michael was pretty sure that it would be a very long time before he ever laughed about anything again.

In total, Michael had bought four hits of the little square, paper Mickey Mouse blotter acid from a friend of his, the same exact person Michael had always bought all of his drugs from. Michael had taken two of the four hits himself and just because one hit didn’t do it for him anymore, occasionally two hits didn’t get him off anymore either.

Michael supposed that over time, his body had just grown accustomed to the poison and now after doing it for so long, his body simply required more than one hit. Shoot, pretty soon three hits probably wouldn’t even be enough to get him messed up Michael surmised.

Because of the fact that it was Sebastian’s first time ever doing acid, Michael was a little hesitant about giving him an entire hit the first time around. Both of them had gotten stoned together numerous times, but doing acid and smoking a little weed, were two totally different things when you got right down to the nitty gritty. When everything was all said and done and Michael had done his trick and had talked him into doing the chemical hallucinogenic, Sebastian assured Michael that he could handle one little hit of acid especially when it had the face of a bloody cartoon character on the front of it.

Yeah Michael had said, but don’t let the little shit’s size and character fool you Partmer, dynamite comes in small packages you know. And that was pretty much the end of the discussion, all she wrote, end of story, history, case closed and Michael had handed Sebastian over the hit of acid and that was that.

After approximately twenty, maybe twenty five minutes the acid started to do its job and clocked in for work. Right up until that point everything had been going just peachy, hell, hunky dory for that matter.

Finishing up his forty of Bud, Michael climbed to his feet and went to use the restroom. Not really giving it much thought at the time, Michael laid the last hit of acid down on Sebastian’s nightstand and headed toward the John. When Michael had returned a little while later, he found Sebastian lying on the floor of his bedroom slash living room, motionless and as white as a Halloween ghost on Nick at Night.

The first thought that cruised up through Michael’s mind, was he’s an ass hole, a real ass hole if there ever was one. You just don’t pull a prank like that, what the hell was Sebastian thinking. Dude that’s not even cool Michael said angrily. Adding, if you think it’s funny, you’re wrong! Come on Sebastian get up off the floor and stop being a total jerk, because I’m not laughing at all.

But Sebastian didn’t respond nor did he get up off the floor like Michael had demanded either. In fact, he hadn’t even moved in the slightest. When Sebastian continued to lay right where he was, Michael’s heart grabbed a hold of the E brake and his heart instantly ceased to beat.

At that exact moment, Michael’s heart sunk down into his,’ I feel like vomiting gut’, because right then and there, he knew that Sebastian wasn’t pulling the wool over his eyes. No-sir-re, he just couldn’t get that lucky. Despite the fact that his mind kept insisting that Sebastian was just screwing with him, he knew in his heart of hearts that everything that was happening was indeed the real thing.

Forgetting about everything else that was dancing around inside of his head, Michael dived down onto the floor next to Sebastian. Michael’s mind was in a state of shock and in all honesty, he didn’t have any idea about what he was supposed to do next. Actually, his mind was one big cluster fuck.

First Michael checked to see if Sebastian was breathing, which by the looks of things he wasn’t. Then he checked to see whether he had a pulse or not and with the way his luck was running, he didn’t have one of those either. Michael wasn’t sure if he had gotten the whole process messed up or not, but then again, he wasn’t a damn doctor either. God but this was a whole lot of bad he cried, it was definitely about as bad as anything could possibly get and then some.

Michael really wished that he had taken that CPR course down at the Red Cross, but at the time, Michael had assumed that watching ER was the only education he’d ever need on that particular subject. Boy had he been wrong, dead wrong as it turned out. When Sebastian had suggested it, Michael remembered thinking that he’d probably never really need to know something like CPR. After all, that was the sort of shit that ended up happening to someone you didn’t even know, it was the stuff that happened to everyone else but you or so he had presumed at the time.

So what was he supposed to do now? He just couldn’t stand around playing a game of pocket pool, while his best friend in life just started to decay right before his very eyes. Why did people on TV make everything look so easy he asked himself? With his hands shaking like he was going through the DT’s, he closed his eyes for a moment and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do next. Despite the fact that he didn’t have the slightest clue as to what he was doing, he knew that he had to do something and he had to do it fast.

Tilting Sebastian’s head back with one hand, he tried to swipe as much of the white gunk out of his mouth as he possibly could. God but that was gross he thought, but what were friends for Michael rationalized. He got out what he could, but he couldn’t afford worrying too much about it because he had already wasted too much time as it was. Drawing a deep breath into his lungs, Michael pinched Sebastian’s nose between his thumb and forefinger and quickly placed his mouth down over his already blue tinted lips, giving Sebastian three quick breaths. With that done, he then pressed both of his hands down beneath Sebastian’s breast bone and pushed down quickly ten times. God, he sure hoped that he was doing this the right way, he really, really did.

Michael wasn’t entirely sure just how long he had been giving Sebastian what he hoped and prayed was CPR, but it sure felt like an extremely long time to him. He was just about to give Sebastian another three quick breaths, when Sebastian had started to cough and choke and after a few seconds of that, he started to breathe once again. Leaning back on his heels, Michael closed his eyes and thanked the so called Gods’ above.

Michael was so glad that Sebastian had finally started breathing, because he was afraid if he kept pushing down on Sebastian’s chest like he had been, that he would have accidentally broken one or two of his ribs.

Yes, Sebastian was breathing again he continued to tell himself, but he was also twitching and jerking around like a fish that had been out of water for way too long as well. As Michael watched in horrified silence, more of the white foam started to spill out from between the corners of his blue tinted lips. Michael wanted look away, but something within the core of his being just wouldn’t allow him to do it. A little voice deep inside of Michael’s head kept whispering; you need to watch this Partmer, because you caused it to happen and so watch it you shall.

Horrified and unable to move, Michael watched as the white foam rolled down the corners of Sebastian’s mouth and soaked down into the tangled mass of his black hair that was spread out all around him on the soiled carpet. Sebastian’s skin had lost all of its natural color and now appeared to be as gray as the cement walk outside of his front door.

A cold sweat had broken out on his face and now Sebastian seemed to be having what appeared to be mild seizures to Michael. Fuck, Michael hissed.

Michael was terribly frightened. No, he was beyond frightened, he was absolutely terrified. In truth, all he wanted to do right at that very moment was run away, but he couldn’t even move let alone run anywhere. All he could seem to do was keep thinking that none of this was really happening to him, nothing was real and everything was all just some horrifying nightmare that reality had no actual part in.

However, the moment Sebastian’s eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he had started to convulse, Michael found the will to finally move his legs and jumped up off of the floor. Michael ran to the telephone and picked up the receiver, but his hands were trembling so badly that when he did finally reach the phone, he dropped the receiver three times before he was able to dial 911. In fact, he had been so worked up, that he had to actually stop to think what the number for 911 was.

Closing his eyes only for a brief second, Michael quickly reopened them and scolded himself for doing something that stupid. If your eyes are closed his mind almost hissed at him, how in the world will you be able to tell if Sebastian stops breathing again or not?

God please don’t stop breathing again Michael prayed and whatever you do Partmer, you just keep on breathing. Michael just hoped that Sebastian’s God up in the presumed heavens really existed, because if he didn’t and Sebastian was wrong about all the shit he talked, he was dead wrong and that just meant that they were both about as screwed as they were ever going to get.

Unconsciously, Michael kept wiping his mouth on his shirtsleeve and no matter how hard he tried, he just wasn’t able to get the awful taste out of his mouth. What you taste Michael he mentally told himself, is death, plain and simple, a death by the way you just so happened to cause with your stupid foolishness. But that didn’t matter now, what mattered now was that Sebastian was breathing once again, that he wasn’t dead and that perhaps there was some hope for his best friend after all.

From where Michael stood, it looked like Sebastian was breathing more normally. But he still seemed to be experiencing mild seizures, seizures that looked like they weren’t happening quite as often or as badly or so Michael prayed. Gripping the receiver so tightly that his fingers had turned white from the lack of blood flowing through them, Michael watched the slow rise and fall of Sebastian’s chest and wished once more that Sebastian’s God would keep him alive until help arrived.

Breathing or not breathing, it was Michael’s opinion that Sebastian still looked like he was dead to him. Suddenly his breath caught in his lungs, what if he really wasn’t breathing at all, what if he only looked like he was breathing and his eyes were only playing tricks on him and making it look that way? What then?

Before Michael even had the chance to fight them, tears were streaming down across his flushed cheeks and dripping down onto the front of his T-shirt. What had he been thinking about in the first place, why did he ever give Sebastian the acid. Why? He couldn’t have wished for anything more in his pathetic existence, then to be able to turn back the hands of time and correct the vast mistake that he had made. If indeed something like that was even remotely possible, he would have sold his soul to the Dark Prince below in a heartbeat to make it a reality.

With that thought still enveloped in his mind, he looked down at the nightstand and remembered that he had laid the last hit of acid there before he went in to use the restroom. Which by the way, he could easily see that it was nowhere in sight now. Just lovely Michael thought angrily, just absolutely freaking lovely.

Michael would have turned as white as a ghost, but he was already about as pale as he was going to get without kicking the bucket himself. It had to be there his mind groaned in desperation; it just had to be there. Brushing aside the yellow glass ashtray that was nearly overflowing with spent Marlboro red cigarette butts, he frantically looked between and around everything on the little nightstand and in the process, he kept knocking cigarette butts out of the ashtray as he searched for the missing acid.

If Michael really wanted to be honest with himself, even before he started to look for the acid, he knew that he wasn’t going to find it and he wasn’t going to find it, because Sebastian had taken it. SONOFABITCH! . . . Michael screamed, making the four words into one long and drawn out word. Angrier than he had ever been in his life, Michael slammed his fist down a little too hard on the table and knocked everything off it and onto the floor, then for good measure he kicked the yellow ashtray clear across the room.

This was a bunch of crap, he had no idea that someone could put you on hold when you called 911. Apparently he was wrong, just as he seemed to be wrong about everything else. Come on for goodness gracious sakes alive, what in the bloody hell was taking them so damn long to answer the call anyhow his mind questioned?

Michael was just about to hang the phone up and redial the number again, when a voice on the other line finally spoke to him. About freaking time Michael hissed angrily through his pearly whites. The voice on the other line was female and sounded more like some uncaring robot than a real person and she just started to ask him what the nature of his emergency was, when he cut her off in mid sentence.

Never mind about my name or anything else Michael told the non-human sounding woman on the other line. Just send an ambulance over to 1213 Riverside Dr. Indiana Pa, apartment #3, it’s the residence of Sebastian Blackwell. I need to know what the nature of the emergency is Sir? The woman’s voice sounded way too impersonal and far to much like a computer to Michael and quite frankly, it was annoying the living shit out of him.

The nature of the emergency is that the guy that lives here, Sebastian Blackwell, had stopped breathing. He’s breathing now, but not real good and I honestly don’t know how much longer he is going to keep breathing either. Before Michael could finish what he was saying, she butted in again and asked him how and why he knew that Mr. Blackwell had stopped breathing. Avoiding her question, he told her he is breathing, he hadn’t been though and now he is, that’s all I know. So you don’t know what caused him to stop breathing then Sir, she asked in a monotone uncaring voice that Michael didn’t care for at all that much.

No, Michael nearly screamed into the phone receiver. How in the bloody hell am I suppose to know. This was a downright lie of course, but she didn’t need to know that nor did she need to know anymore than Michael wanted her to know.

Frustrated, Michael didn’t give the robot-sounding woman a chance to say anything else. Look lady, all you need to do is your job and send someone over here right away. The truth of the matter is this lady, I don’t know how much longer he’s going to keep breathing and if he happens to die again because of your incompetence, it’s on your head and not mine. Do you understand that?

Michael could tell just by the tone of voice the 911 operator was using, that she was beginning to get very impatient with him and even though he couldn’t see her or she him, he could tell that she was beginning to lose her temper. Sir, she said stiffly, if you would just calm down for a minute and tell me what’s going on with the person in crisis? Look lady Michael spat, you calm down and just do your job and get someone over here ASAP and believe you me, you best be doing that job to the best of your ability. She started to say something else to Michael, but Michael didn’t care to hear anything else the woman with the annoying voice had to say and he slammed the phone down in her ear.

This was bad, really bad Michael cried as he paced back and forth across the floor like a mad man that had just checked out of reality about thirty seconds ago and for good. Still pacing, Michael sighed out through his teeth and rubbed his large bronze hands across the top of his head. The more he thought about it, the more rational his decision felt to him. He felt totally shitty about it, but it seemed like the only rational thing to do under the circumstances and as much as Michael hated the idea, there was just no way he could still be there when that ambulance arrived.

What Michael’s conscious wanted to know, was how could he just leave his best friend laying half dead on the living room floor!

He had been dead, hadn’t he Michael questioned himself? Yes he had been dead all right, it hadn’t been a trick or a cruel prank like Michael had originally thought and it hadn’t been his imagination playing tricks on his eyes either, Sebastian had really been dead.

Even though that was really bad, it could get much worse. There was a distinct possibility that Sebastian could expire yet again, especially if Michael actually did what he wanted to do and left him there all alone. To believe otherwise wouldn’t just make him blind, but it would make him a blind idiot as well. So how can you just pick up and leave, his mind asked of him? Because he really didn’t have any other choice, that was why Michael tried to explain to the annoying voice that lived inside of his mind. Besides, what else could he do? There are always choices his mind reminded him and the voice of logic whispered in the back of his mind, always Michael, there are always choices.

Like it or not, if Michael was still there when the ambulance arrived, he would literally be up shit creek without as much as a paddle to push him to safety and as much as he hated to leave Sebastian behind, he just couldn’t take the risk being caught there. Once more logic decided to add its two pennies and asked Michael who he was trying to convince, himself or his unconscious nearly dead best friend. Because if it’s Sebastian you are trying to convince Partmer, well I am afraid he cannot hear a single word your saying. Shut up Michael cried out, his angry words crashing hideously off the walls. As Michael seethed in anger, he asked his inner voice, "what the hell do you know anyhow, just what the hell do you know about anything?

Why couldn’t his conscience understand everything from his point of view, he had to get out of there before anyone got there. He didn’t have a choice in the matter despite what his mind wanted to believe. Why couldn’t his conscience see that he had to leave? Because I don’t have any eyes his conscious mind spoke up sarcastically, that’s why. But you do Partmer and for once, you should really try seeing something other than yourself.

No matter what his conscience buggered at him, he still felt like crap, but he had to cover his ass. Because if he didn’t, no one else was going to. The only person that had ever covered Michael’s ass was lying on the floor stuck between the portals of life and death, with death bringing up the lead and mighty fast too. Michael hated himself right now more than anyone else could ever hate him, but he hated leaving Sebastian even more, but there wasn’t really anything he could do about it he reasoned.

The voices of logic and reason, accompanied by his conscience was just about to open their big traps once more from some place behind his frontal lobe, but before they had a chance to add a few more pennies to their previous two cents, Michael warned them to shut up with a seriousness that stilled their proverbial wagging tongues. Don’t even think about it you annoying miserable bints, I have heard about enough from you today, so don’t push your luck Michael hissed angrily.

Stooping down next to Sebastian’s side, Michael rested his forearms down across his bent knees. Hey Partmer, Michael whispered. Ever since Michael and Sebastian had been teenagers, they had called one another Partmer, not partner like it was properly said, but Partmer. One night they had got all drunk up on whiskey and for one reason or another, more than likely because they were so trashed that they couldn’t talk right, they just started to call each other Partmer and it just sort of stuck after that. So from there on out, they had become Partmers and not partners.

Now as Michael looked around at Sebastian’s cramped little apartment, he could see bags of half eaten potato chips, which had been discarded down near the foot of the bed, parked right next to a empty twelve pack of Bud long neck bottles. The beer bottles had been lined up neatly beneath a life size poster of Jim Morrison the lead singer for the Doors and other than the neat row of long necks, the room was literally trashed.

Imagine that, Michael whispered disgustedly. Suddenly Michael felt repulsed and instantly, the strongest urge smashed into him like a demo car taking out the number seven car because it was pink and for no other reason. He just felt like kicking the bottles to kingdom come, he even seen himself doing it in his mind too. But of course, he didn’t do any such thing. If Michael didn’t do anything else, he had to keep his emotions in check lest they get the best of him and the way that he was feeling right at the moment, it would have been so easy for him to lose control and he knew it.

This was one mother of a nightmare; it just couldn’t get any worse he thought absent-mindedly. Oh no, you just didn’t Partmer, you just jinxed yourself. Don’t you know that you never say it can never get any worse than it already is. Okay, okay, were shutting up said logic and reason, but that’s what you did, you jinxed yourself but good partmer.

Ignoring pain in the ass one and two, Michael asked Sebastian if he could even hear anything that he was saying to him. Not getting a response, but not really expecting to get one either, Michael told Sebastian that everything was going to be all right. Reassuring himself more than anyone else. Moving in closer to Sebastian’s ear, Michael told Sebastian to hang in there and that the ambulance would be there faster than Zeus’s ass. Just trust me Partmer, Michael added with less conviction than he had intended.

Oh, now that was a real good one Partmer. Michael couldn’t argue with the voices this time around, so he couldn’t nor would he, because they were right. Still, it hit way too close to home to suit his taste. That was a doozie, wasn’t it? Trust me my ass, look what trusting me got you Sebastian, he thought. I bet you’ll never make that mistake again will you, that’s if there is ever a next time Michael added to his mental conversation with himself.

Sebastian you have to believe me, I swear to God that I never intended for anything bad to happen to you. Come on Partmer, do not die on me again and be alive when the ambulance gets here, you hear me?

Michael wasn’t sure if Sebastian could hear anything he was saying, but it was something that he wasn’t about to rule