A Caregiver? Me?

By Lynda Bush

Becoming a caregiver for a terminally ill family member is an enormous challenge. This guide is a gift to my late husband, who not only taught me how to live well but how to die well. I hope it will carry on his legacy of always teaching and sharing, even as he faced the end of his life.

A compact guide that you can easily reference along your personal journey, it is filled with practical suggestions to help you, as the caregiver, honor the way your family member would like to create his or her final journey toward paradise.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 29, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449776497

Lynda Bush

This caregiver guide was created after I walked the journey with my late husband, as he faced the diagnosis of terminal cancer. We both faced life challenges with bizarre humor and the challenge of cancer did not escape our efforts to find something to laugh at every day.  That helped to temper the anguish and sadness we felt so profoundly as we were handed this terminal diagnosis. I live in the northwest.  My blended family including 15 grandchildren and their parents are, indeed, a blessing.

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Copyright © 2011, 2012 Lynda Bush

Cover Photo By Jessica Woodford

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ISBN: 978-1-4497-7648-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-7649-7 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-7650-3 (hc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012921893

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/21/2012

Contents

Chapter 1 How on Earth Did I Get Here?

Chapter 2 Taking Care of the Caregiver—That Would Be You

Chapter 3 Surviving This Journey with Bizarre Humor

Chapter 4 Where Do You Start?

Chapter 5 What Do You Need to Know Legally?

Chapter 6 Preparing Early, Very Early

Chapter 7 Death Is Coming—How Do You Talk about That?

Chapter 8 Preparing for the Funeral

Chapter 9 Helpful Little Tips for Your Family and Friends

Chapter 10 Preparing for the Final Weeks

Chapter 11 A Trip to the Hospital

A Caregiver? Me?

A Practical—and Sometimes Irreverent Guide—for the Caregiver

Lynda Bush

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FOREWORD

If you are reading this guide, chances are fairly good that you have taken on the mantle of caregiver for someone you love. You are embarking on a journey like no other, and in writing this guide, I would like to share my story with you, the challenge of facing a terminal illness with my spouse. Perhaps I can share some ideas with you that will help you survive this experience in the best way possible.

Your journey is unique to you and your family. You, as the caregiver, have been handed an experience that will change you forever. I wish you peace and blessings as you find the way that helps your loved one the most. You can do it and do it well.

I will warn you right up front that my husband and I approached difficult situations, including his final battle with cancer, with a bizarre sense of humor. So, you can only imagine some of the conversations we had about the cancer challenge. If you don’t have a sense of humor, I strongly suggest that you stop reading right here!

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Chapter 1

How on Earth Did I Get Here?

Idoubt very much that you woke up one morning and thought being a caregiver would be just about the best experience in the world. It isn’t. It is probably one of the toughest assignments you will ever have, but with determination and focus, you can make it a remarkable journey, not only for you, but for the one you love who is sick, and for all your family and friends who will experience this challenge with you.

My story reflects and describes what happens when a spouse is a caregiver for the other spouse. Everyone’s arrival at this caregiver point is different, but I would like to share how I came to be on this mission. At the time I am writing this, you need to know that I am probably older than dirt.

My story began, more than likely, before you were born. My husband and I attended the same high school,