When Love Surprises: When the Mission Ends, #6

By Christi Snow

Raised in a religious household, being gay was never an option for Steven, but when an injury left him incapacitated, he was forced to face those urges that he's been able to ignore for the last thirty-eight years of his life...

Lost...

Three months ago, Major Steven Hardesty's life sat on the precipice of perfection. Now he's trying to come back from a life-threatening injury and a devastating romantic loss all while trying to figure out what he's going to do after separating from the Air Force.

Alone...

Billy Starr never planned on running his family ranch by himself. He was supposed to be doing it with his sister, Whitney. But when she died in a freak accident, it sent his life in a tailspin of despair and alcohol.

Healing...

Steven and Billy are friends. Billy offered the ranch as a good, private place where Steven could recover, but as their friendship deepened, so did other feelings. Is it possible that a love affair between the two of them could heal them both? Or break them even more?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christi Snow
• Release date: Sep 14, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386223511

Christi Snow

Bio for Christi Snow As an avid reader her entire life, Christi Snow always dreamed of writing books that brought to others the kind of joy she felt when she read. But...she never did anything about it besides jot down a few ideas and sparse scenes. When her husband retired from the Air Force, Christi decided it was time to chase her dream and she started writing. She hasn’t stopped since. With twenty-two published books in various romance genres, she’s found her passion. Now she spends her days with her laptop writing about sexy, alpha heroes and the loves of their lives. Writing both as Christi Snow and one-half of the writing duo, KB Jacobs, Christi has fulfilled her dream... filling the world with more romance and suspense. Her tagline is... Passion and adventure on the road to Happily Ever After. She loves this adventure and has truly found her tribe!

Book preview

Chapter One

Panic ripped through Steven’s chest. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move. He was going to suffocate.

Hang on, big guy. Help’s coming, but you have to calm down.

Hands held him down. Couldn’t the man with the kind voice understand? Steven was going to die without air.

He arched his back, and blinding, searing pain tore through his chest.

Shh. Oh, fuck. Listen to me, Steven. It’s Billy. You know me. You were shot. I know it has to hurt like fucking hell and you’re scared, but the more you thrash around, the worse you’re making it. Concentrate on my voice. You have a tube down your throat. That’s what’s scaring you, but trust the machine. Relax and you’ll realize it’s doing all the work for you.

Steven tried. He tried to stop the panic. Tried to still his rioting body. Tried to listen to the voice talking him down.

That’s right. You’re doing it. You’ve got this. It was quiet for a moment as the weight holding him down shifted.

A callused hand caressed his face, soothing him. He tried to open his eyes. He needed to know what was going on, but with the pain and the weakness in his body...

Where the hell is the fucking nurse? the man asked. What good are all these alarms if no one comes and checks them?

He suddenly realized he knew that voice. Billy.

Yeah, he knew that voice. It was nice. He let the sound of it lull him, and he relaxed, letting the inky black suck him back under.

THE NEXT TIME STEVEN awoke, it thankfully wasn’t to the blind panic he’d experienced before. No, this time he could breathe...kind of, but goddam that hurt. He groaned.

Someone grabbed his hand. Hey. Billy. Good morning, sunshine. You gonna open those pretty golden eyes today? I’d really like to see them.

Billy thought his eyes were pretty? That was...nice.

Right now, not a lot made sense or felt right, but Billy being here, sweet-talking him into waking up, was so much better than any other moment he could vaguely remember right now.

Slowly, Steven blinked his eyes open and was shocked at how ravaged Billy looked. Dark circles had carved gouges under his eyes, and he had several days’ worth of black beard on his face, much more than his usual single day’s worth of scruff.

Steven tried to reach an arm up to touch Billy’s face and pain tore through his side. He closed his eyes on a hiss and froze. Every muscle in his body clenched in response to the pain, which just made it hurt that much more.

Billy cupped his other shoulder. Okay. Shh, he said softly and smoothly. I just called the nurse, so in just a minute, she’ll be in here. She’ll probably give you some more pain meds. Damn, try to relax, okay Steven. You’re going to be okay. I imagine it hurts like a bitch right now, but you’re alive and awake, so that’s a good thing.

I don’t...know, Steven ground out through gritted teeth. Right now...I’m thinking passing out...again...sounds pretty good. Why couldn’t he get a deep breath, and why did it feel like he was breathing in hellfire when he tried? What...happened?

You were shot. Out on my ranch. Do you remember? Billy ran his fingers through Steven’s short hair.

No... There was something on the edge of his brain that seemed familiar, but right now, the hand in his hair was all he wanted to concentrate on. That feels...good. Billy’s touch focused him on a different place of his body, one that didn’t hurt. Don’t stop...please.

Billy laughed, a low hollow chuckle. Happy to help.

The pain had receded enough that Steven could open his eyes. Billy was so close to him, those vibrant green eyes blazing with some emotion Steven couldn’t place, didn’t want to place. Not now. Now he just needed Billy to keep doing what he was doing and distract him from the enemy his body seemed to have become.

Slowly, he took stock of all his pain. His chest burned, and from what he could see, he had various machines hooked up to him. His throat hurt, but he remembered the tube from when he awoke before. He turned his questioning gaze back to Billy, and he took the hint, which was a huge relief since Steven’s energy was waning quickly.

You were shot in the chest. The bullet went through your rib cage, pierced your right lung, and then passed through your back before it hit Felicia.

Felicia was his ex, until she’d fallen for her first love, something that should have bothered him more than it did since he’d planned to spend the rest of his life with her. But the mess in his head and heart wasn’t even worth thinking about right now.

She’d been hurt. How bad?

Before he could voice his fear, Billy answered. The good news is you’re both fine. You’re the worse off of the two of you, but now that you’re awake, they’re telling me that you’ll eventually be fine. As Billy talked, he continued to run his fingers through Steven’s hair.

Steven would be happy if Billy would keep doing that for the rest of his life. He’d fantasized about the man touching him way too much over the last couple of months. He couldn’t go there. He just needed to enjoy it while he could, even if this breath-stealing pain had caused it.

But that didn’t explain why Billy was here with him. Billy had been Felicia’s best friend, not his.

I don’t know much more than that. Felicia was your emergency contact, so what I know is through her.

Damn, he’d forgotten to take her off his emergency contact list when she’d dumped him for Gage.

You’ve been here a couple of days, and I’m sure she’s going to want to visit soon. So far, Gage has managed to keep her away while you were out so they both could recover. He was shot, too.

Hearing the about the Gage and Felicia as a couple should still hurt. Hell, he’d been ready to propose to her just a few weeks ago, but with Billy’s soothing touch distracting him from all his pain, it seemed to work on that wound, too.

But then Billy stopped talking and stroking as a nurse bustled into the room.

No. He closed his eyes so maybe no one in the room would see the want in them. He wanted those fingers back on him.

Our patient is awake? she asked as she lifted Stephen’s arm and pressed her fingers to his wrist.

Her touch was firm and clinical, and all the pain came back with a vengeance. He opened his eyes to glare at her. Yeah...awake. Hurts.

She clicked her tongue. Yep, that’s what happens when you try to stop a speeding bullet with your body. She notated something on the iPad she carried and then glanced up at his IV. Now that you’re awake, you’ll have control of your pain meds. Just push this button here when you need a little bit of something.

Bigger button...for a lot?

She laughed. No, I’m sorry. I know it hurts, but we want you to get better, not addicted to the numbness.

Billy frowned and glanced away.

Was Billy worried about him becoming addicted? Steven nodded at the nurse. Yeah...addiction bad. Got it.

She wrote a couple more things on her pad and then patted his foot. I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. I’m sure you have some questions, and he’ll be the guy to answer them for you. Do you need anything else?

Water?

She grabbed a small pitcher off the side table and filled a cup. She placed the straw in front of his mouth, and he was able to drink. The lukewarm water was the best thing he’d ever tasted. Thanks, he said when he’d had enough.

Anytime. Anything else?

He shook his head, his eyes drooping from this much effort.

Okay. Sleep. It’s the best thing for healing right now. She turned away as Steven’s eyes began to drift closed. The pain meds are hitting him. He’s going to sleep a lot over the next few days. Why don’t you take the time now to go home and sleep? I know you haven’t left since you got here. You won’t do him any good, exhausted like this.

Okay, Billy’s deep voice answered. I probably will. Can I leave my cell phone number at the desk so you can call me if I need to rush back? My ranch is about thirty minutes out of town, so it will take a little bit. Maybe I should go to Felicia’s instead.

It was the most Steven had heard Billy say in a single breath. Normally, the guy watched and listened, but Steven could hear the exhaustion in Billy’s voice.

Go home, Steven urged. I’ll...be fine...for a bit. But...will you...come back?

Billy nodded. Yeah, he said gruffly. I’ll be back.

Gratitude and relief swamped Steven. He still didn’t know why Billy was here, but he wouldn’t question it right now, not when Billy’s presence seemed vital for getting through the pain.

Chapter Two

As Billy parked his truck in the gravel drive of his ranch, exhaustion sank into his bones. He didn’t want to move, and it would take zero effort just to sleep here in his truck. But the ranch didn’t stop moving just because he did. He had animals to take care of, and they had to come first. He shouldn’t have neglected them this long. He’d managed to come home for an hour one night, but that had been at least forty-eight hours ago. He’d left extra feed and water for them just in case he didn’t make it back, but had also left a message with his friend Eric, hoping that maybe he could get by to check on them.

As time had passed at the hospital without Steven becoming conscious and aware, Billy had been more and more sure that he never would. No matter how much his conscience pushed him to go home, he couldn’t leave Steven alone.

Twenty years ago, another man he’d loved had died alone and Billy had never forgiven himself. He couldn’t let the same thing happen to Steven.

But Steven was awake now, and Billy had responsibilities.

With another deep sigh, he turned off the truck and shoved himself out of the cab. He headed straight for the barn.

But when he walked into the shadowy barn, he found that someone had already been here. All the horses had feed and had been watered, and their stalls had been cleaned and mucked out.

The goat and chicken areas were equally well taken care of.

He had no idea who had done this. Maybe Eric, but he hadn’t called or left a message to tell Billy he’d been out here.

He came out of the barn, blinded momentarily by the sudden bright sunlight. Someone grabbed him by the waist, and he jumped.

Hey, cowboy, Eric mumbled as he scraped his teeth along the back of Billy’s neck.

While he was grateful to the man for coming to help, they didn’t have that kind of arrangement anymore.

I heard you had some troubles out here, so thought you might appreciate a hand. One of Eric’s hands dropped to the front of Billy’s jeans.

Billy twisted out of Eric’s hold to face him. Eric. I didn’t expect you to stick around, but thank you.

Eric was a young ranch hand who worked at the neighboring Wheeler ranch. A couple of years ago, the two of them had had a convenient arrangement so they had both got regular sex. But then Eric had begun to show signs of getting attached, so Billy had broken it off. Billy didn’t do attachments. Not anymore. While they remained cordial, there hadn’t been anything between them in at least twenty months, three days, and a few hours.

Billy kept track, not because he had any attachment to Eric, but because that had been the last time he’d gotten laid.

Billy shook his head, too damn exhausted to be polite. While I appreciate you helping me out, I’m not going to whore myself out because you did it.

Eric’s eyes widened in shock and then hardened with anger. Fuck you, Billy. That’s not why I helped. I was hoping for a perk, but screw you, I’m not that hard up.

The guy turned on his heel and strode over to his truck that Billy hadn’t even noticed parked at the edge of the gravel drive by the barn.

Shit. He was too damn tired, but that was no excuse for being an asshole. Eric! Wait. I’m sorry. He took off at a jog, following Eric.

Eric stopped and turned at the door of his old, classic Chevy truck. He rolled his eyes at Billy and bit out, What?

I’m sorry. That was a jerk thing to do. I’m sorry. I haven’t been to sleep in a few days, but that’s no excuse. I really am thankful for everything you did here. Thank you is what I should have said. Exhaustion and worry about Steven had worn away his polite veneer, but that didn’t excuse being an asshole.

It’s fine. Eric sighed, and the firm press of his mouth showed that the anger still brewed just below the surface. Just get some sleep. I’ll catch up with you later. Text me if you need more help. Then he got into his truck and sped down the drive with a spit of gravel.

Billy’s head dropped to his chest. He had few enough friends already. He sure as hell couldn’t go around alienating the ones he still had. He wiped at the grit in his eyes. He needed to get a shower and some sleep, and then, he could try to make sense of the world again.

Thank fuck Eric had done the chores. He seriously owed the guy, but it wouldn’t involve an orgasm—although, damn, it would be nice to have an orgasm that wasn’t from his hand for a change. Maybe he could do something else, like make a home-cooked meal for the guy.

Eric wasn’t the bad sort. The consummate ranch hand, he didn’t have roots tying him anywhere, although he’d worked at the Wheeler ranch for about four years. That’s something Billy wouldn’t have been able to do since Old Man Wheeler was a homophobic asshole. But with their arrangement, Eric hadn’t worried about information about their hookups getting back to his boss. Billy wasn’t going to talk.  

Damn, he felt doubly bad that now he’d given Eric a hard time, especially after Eric had helped him out.

Well, there was nothing he could do about it now, so he trudged up to the house, wondering where his dog, Mutt, was. Normally, he’d be all over Billy when he climbed out of his truck. But now that he considered it, he hadn’t seen Mutt since the morning before the shooting.

Worry and guilt niggled as he glanced around the quiet yard. Why hadn’t he noticed the missing dog before now? He’d been too worried that Steven was dying. He crossed the yard.

Mutt! Come here boy. He whistled and looked around, hoping for a glimpse of the mangy, gray dog who’d been his truest companion for the last seven years.

No answering yip, no running paws. He lifted his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Eric.

Did you change your mind? Eric asked as a way of answering his phone.

Billy winced. No. Sorry, but I don’t see Mutt. Did you see him while you were here?

No, he wasn’t anywhere around. I figured you’d sent him to a friend’s house while you were busy.

He should have done that. A hollow pit opened up in the bottom of his stomach. How long had Mutt been gone? Out somewhere on the ranch hurt or worse? How could he have overlooked this?

He thought back. If Mutt had been around the morning of the shooting, he would have taken the shooter, Dalton Kennedy, down himself. So, he’d been missing for at least three days.

Fuck.

No wonder he didn’t have people in his life when he was such a self-centered asshole.

He ran across to the house, hoping the dog had gotten trapped in the house with the craziness of the shooting.

I’m on my way back, Eric said. I’ll help you search.

Billy had forgotten the phone was still at his ear. Thanks, E.

He let himself into the house, but the stale movement of the air told him that no one had been inside here since he’d left. Fuck. Where was his dog?

He exited the house and took off at a run across to the barn calling to Mutt the entire way. He saddled up two horses—Sinner and Sable—one for him and one for Eric. They could search the seventeen thousand acres that made up his ranch faster.

Just as he finished, he heard Eric’s truck on the gravel drive.

He went over to the shelf in the barn where he kept the extra radios and checked the batteries on two of them, strapping one to each of the saddles.

Eric came up and nodded at Billy although his eyes were shaded from his straw cowboy hat. He swung up on Sable knowing that Billy would ride Sinner.

Thanks for coming back to help, Billy said. You want to take the western fence line and work in? I’ll do the same at the east.

Eric nodded. Sounds good. He checked the empty water bladders strapped onto the saddle. He sent a questioning glance at Billy.

Billy shook his head. I forgot.

In the summer in New Mexico? He squinted at Billy. That’s how people die.

I know. Sorry. He grabbed the bladders, went over to the sink, and filled them.

Eric examined him a worried frown on his face as they walked the horses out of the barn. How long has it been since you’ve been to sleep?

Too long. I’ll sleep after we find my dog. They mounted up.

Eric’s lips thinned. When was the last time you saw him?

At breakfast the morning before the shooting. Three days ago. Fuck. Just like they couldn’t go without water in the New Mexico heat, neither could Mutt.

Eric turned his horse and clicked his tongue, not saying what they both were thinking. Mutt was probably dead already.

TWO HOURS LATER, ERIC’S voice came over Billy’s radio intermixed with heavy static. Billy, I found him. He’s dead. Eric’s voice sounded strangled.

Billy’s gut turned to rock and he turned Sinner toward where Eric had been searching. Tell me.

Someone— Eric’s voice broke. He knew Mutt, too, after spending a lot of time here with Billy. Someone tortured him. He’s been...hurt. Billy, fuck, he suffered. Why would some monster do this?

Nausea churned in Billy’s gut. Tears clogged his throat at just imagining what Eric wasn’t saying. Where?

Eric sniffled. You don’t need to see this, man. Just let me take care of it.

No, Billy said. I let this happen to him. I owe him the honesty of seeing what they did to him. He needed me to protect him. That was my job, so I need to see him. He deserved the pain of it, because Mutt had never done anything but be loyal to Billy, and he hadn’t even noticed his dog had been gone.

God, he was an awful person.

The radio was quiet for a moment.  Okay. We’re about a quarter mile east of the grave.

The grave Eric was talking about belonged to an anonymous family who’d died out here in the desolate heat of the desert sometime in the early 1800s. From what they could tell from the partial marker left, there was a man and wife and small son. That part of the ranch had always bothered Billy, because he could too easily imagine a whole family dying out here. And now, his dog had died in the same area. That was some serious bad juju.

But his dog hadn’t died. He’d been killed. And that was a whole new issue.

He ignored the sweat pouring off his body and clicked his tongue at Sinner, needing to hurry, to get this done and over with.

AN HOUR AND A HALF later, Billy and Eric had finished burying Mutt and returned to the barn. They’d also unsaddled and had taken care of the horses.

They’d both been quiet as they worked at the task, but now Eric turned to him with bleak eyes. Do you know who did this?

Billy wasn’t sure his voice would even work anymore.