A Spot to Perch: A Tortuous Journey to Citizenship

By Dr. Oliver Akamnonu

They had initially made yearly vacation visits to the United States. Those were fun and relaxation times. But the monumental insecurity in their homeland coupled with disgust with the incessant mounting corruption and harassment from men in flowing robes and in uniform who were supposed to protect the citizens became so unbearable that the couple started surveying avenues for relocation to Gods Own Country.

When the opportunity finally came by, and the couple landed in Los Angeles airport they came to discover new challenges which they were to grapple with.
The belief that a perfect spot to perch had been found was soon to be soured by the saga of two apparently innocuous tubers of yams whose combined value was less than one dollar.
Even after the yams were confiscated and destroyed at the airport the aftermath of the violation was to replay nearly five years later when naturalization for citizenship of the United States was sought.

The enormous powers of two tubers of yams were greatly displayed as the applicants grappled with unforeseen situations which had sought to thwart the life-long desires of a couple to be participants of the promises of Gods own country.
Would the promise of realization of the American Dream succumb to the evil machinations of two inanimate tubers of yams?
Or would the justice and fair play in a country that prides itself with its trust in God; one that holds certain truths as self evident, once again proclaim its superiority over apparent trivialities in the Land of the free and the Home of the brave.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 19, 2011
• ISBN: 9781463433956

Dr. Oliver Akamnonu

Oliver Akamnonu is a physician and author of the award-winning poetry book "Rap to Mars" as well as the highly popular book "Arranged Marriage and the Vanishing Roots".An anesthesiologist by specialization he has published more than 15 other prominent books in the USA and these include: "Nation of Dead Patriots", "Bature", "The Pagans' Medals", "The Honorable", "Comedy of Naked Vampires", etc. A former school captain of his high school Government Secondary School Afikpo, former State Chairman of the Nigerian Medical Association, former member of the Medical and Dental Council of Nigeria, member of the first Board of Federal Medical Center Owerri, decorated "Distinguished Medical Practitioner", Chairman Akamnonu Foundation for the Poor, Dr. Akamnonu is a dual citizen of the USA and Nigeria and is married to Dr. Chika Akamnonu and they have four children, Olisa, Chibu, Somto and Chuka. He lives in in Massachusetts USA.

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A SPOT TO PERCH

A Tortuous Journey to Citizenship

Oliver Akamnonu

V00_9781463434380_TEXT.pdf

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© 2011 Dr. Oliver Akamnonu. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 8/17/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4634-3394-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4634-3393-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4634-3395-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011911543

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Contents

Dedication

Prologue 1

Prologue 2

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

A LITTLE SPOT TO PERCH

A SPOT TO PERCH

I seek none more than a little space;

Just a spot to perch,

And as I fly,

A twig to hang on

And to play my little part as I await my time

The relatively little time that is allotted to me

‘Relatively little’ within the concept of the timelessness of time,

Just as it is, and will always be with all men and women alike.

And on that little spot, I pray to make a positive mark;

Just a little mark however faint, in the interest of humanity.

If, behind me is certain danger, and before me is possible danger,

Why don’t I go forward, with a clear view of the possible dangers?

And dare the visible monster before me rather than the obscure beast behind me

With firmness, fairness and good wishes to friend and foe alike;

As long as this will add to the good of humanity.

Three score and ten years with, or without any bonuses were allotted to all men

These must be maximally utilized as it pleases the Almighty to bring my way

Thereafter, like all mortals, I return to Earth and to My Maker;

To My Maker, Your Maker, the Maker of the Universe,

To this Maker alone, we all shall ultimately account.

Oliver Akamnonu

(A Spot to Perch)

Dedication

To my very good friend Ndubuisi Eke

Erudite academician, writer and philanthropist

My coauthor, a man of great wisdom and candor

To the simple everyday man

Who may not have all the choices about a spot to perch;

A bed on which to lay his or her head at night;

A room in which to find safety and sleep with both eyes closed;

A country which to love and serve with all his or her heart;

An environment which will accord him or her, protection and care

One that he or she will stand up for, with love and passion

To those simple ordinary human beings

Who find peace and joy in the simple things of life;

Who regard humanity as one irrespective of color of skin

Whose love for mankind transcends country or creed

Who do their jobs with dignity and smiles on their faces;

And who bring meaning to the life of people around them,

"A spot to Perch" is dedicated.

Prologue 1

THE UNFULFILLED MAN OF YESTERDAY

He was born into fame yesterday,

But he lives the church rat of today

He would want to live the god of other men tomorrow

And he would use the common resources of today to achieve his goal.

He gathers the public grains of today

He stores them in his private barn against tomorrow

He prepares his world of bounty for tomorrow without any qualms

But he starves to death his kind of today in his unbridled quest

He builds his house on sand today

He would want to convert the foundation to rock tomorrow

He pollutes the atmosphere around him today

But he wants to breathe the clean air of tomorrow

He was given a simple name yesterday

He makes it a compound and intimidating name today

He had a human name yesterday

He re-names himself Oyinatumba tomorrow

He was understood by his friends and associates yesterday

Assumed opulence and delusional disposition distance him from his friends tomorrow

His name connoted meekness and compassion yesterday

Oyinatumba is a chill that will catch a community tomorrow

He was a human being yesterday

He has become a self-styled god by today

He had good neighbors yesterday

He converts them to tools for his use for tomorrow

His neighbors were his friends yesterday

He wooed and courted their friendship as he went

He would want to convert them to his tools by today

And he, a new god, would make slaves of them by tomorrow.

He could walk the streets as a free man yesterday

He has become an ‘endangered species’ by today

He walked devoid of guards yesterday

Multiple guards sniff his paths for dangers against tomorrow

He used his simple reasoning yesterday

The reasoning of the simple human being has abandoned him by today.

The sleep he treasured came naturally yesterday

He will need hypnotics for sleep by today

He beamed the natural smile yesterday

The genuine smile is gone from his face by today

The frown will find its way in, by tomorrow

He dopes himself to force a smile on his face even by today.

He used to be a man as simple as the rest of us by yesterday

Money and power have taken their toll on him today

He is no longer with us even as of today

He will even be further gone from us by tomorrow

He is no longer a man of today

But he is surely not equipped for tomorrow

He will be too far gone by end of today

Today and tomorrow have both rejected him

He gropes in the darkness of his assumed wealth today

He will become a carpenter of riches by tomorrow

He will see the rest of the world as hammer and nail tomorrow

And the rest of men will turn to saw dust in his eyes.

He gropes in the dark in search of peace of mind

Laughter in other men’s faces amazes him

He sees fulfillment only in form of silver and gold

But these, even in their billions, have brought no laughter to his face

He sought for mere handouts for survival yesterday

He became unsatisfied with a ‘mere million’ dollars by today

One billion dollars will bring no contentment to his soul by tomorrow

He remains today, and forever, an unfulfilled man of yesterday.

He merely sought a spot to perch yesterday

He finds a bench of rugged wood for a seat today

He seeks a seat of gold for tomorrow

A gilded tomb will become his fancy as he goes.

Oliver Akamnonu

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Prologue 2

LAND OF MY BIRTH:

RETREAT FROM THE RETREAT

The land of my birth was never scorched by God.

No, it was blessed and laden with riches as many could testify.

The land that nurtured my childhood was never cursed by the gods

No, it was blessed by God and was ideal for habitation.

The land that raised me was never known to be barren or hostile

No, it was extremely fertile and was laden with riches even underground.

The land that I called my home was never set to be abandoned

No, it had more than was required and more, to welcome even new settlers with.

The land that today finds its youth fleeing,

The land that even the middle class and the not too poor are dreading

Was initially blessed by Mother Nature and was a haven of sorts.

The curse of the land of my birth was the making of man

Mother Nature made the land of my birth caring,

But the acts of evil men, foreign and domestic, have made a monster of her;

And the reversal extended even to good things that had been achieved in the past.

Thus did we find our young men flocking to foreign embassies with passion;

And the embassies were for nations less endowed than ours.

The difference was there in leadership of the host foreign nations for all to see

And the challenge was there for successful leaders, and was elsewhere accepted.

But all that would be accepted herein was the quest for acquisition;

And the acquisition was for that which a lifetime could not consume

And the folly was evident but a blinded leadership would not see

All that could be heard herein were high sounding appellations and highfaluting titles

And the vanity and folly herein could not be seen by the ‘leaders’

And the mockery and disdain for the nation were mistaken for commendations.

And the passport of the nation becomes a thing of shame

And the citizens of a potentially great nation conceal their nation’s symbol as they go

And the color of green that is supposed to be a thing to be proud of

Becomes a source of shame, an object for profiling.

And the citizens of the nation rather than hold up their heads with pride

Turn their heads to the floor as a people that were condemned

And an ingenuous and resourceful people that should fly their colors with pride

Are made by the infamy of bad leadership and bigotry to appear like scoundrels

But the cruel machinations of past evil men must never be allowed to prevail

Otherwise the achievements of the land’s heroes past are doomed for a crash

And any good qualities of sitting leaderships may be subsumed by evils of a few

And the crash may turn out harder than even men of power can control

And threats and blackmail for sins of the past may begin to have a field day.

And past misdeeds will be seen to occupy the front burner.

But the mistakes of the past must not be allowed to becloud new zeal

And perceptions or profiling must neither dull nor obliterate new resolve to excel.

Even when the failures in the land appear to defy all solutions

And the land that overflows with milk and honey remains blighted by evil men

And dread of the negative beclouds the land at every turn

And fear of tomorrow dulls enthusiasm even as her citizens struggle

And good intentions of the many are overwhelmed by monstrous greed of a few

The few that have hoisted themselves in power in all institutions

And recycle themselves from year to year without remorse

And utilize the resources from ill-gotten wealth to perpetuate themselves in power

And the good intentions and ingenuity of the nation’s brightest flee the land

And evil men with negative intentions go in hot pursuit of the good.

But, mathematicians still tell us even as it is true

That positive multiplied by positive will give us a positive

And positives and negatives multiplied will give us a negative

But negative and negative multiplied will give us a positive

Thus there is the temptation to seek for only the perfect state to secure a positive:

The perfect state of pure positives or pure negatives to multiply by each other.

Yet, the dread of the negative tends to overshadow all else in the system

Oblivious of the fact of double negatives giving us a positive

And the fear runs deep that a bunch of evil men will forever foul the system

And that any positive linked with a negative will be polluted by the negative

But the truth remains eternal and must be emphasized

That multiplication of negative by negative will give us a positive

And so, it must be known to all men even as it is true,

That even when evil and negatives remain evil, all is not evil with evil

Though evil can only thrive in a system of dull or retreating good

There is a human tendency to pretend to work only for the enthronement of good

Even when it is known by both the good and the evil in every system

That none is totally good even at the best of times

And that only the God of goodness and forgiveness can be said to be truly good

Yet even in God’s world there is the thriving of evil men

And God being Almighty can eliminate evil if it pleases Him so to do

Yet he allows evil to persist and it cannot be without a cause.

But the Almighty cannot act in vain and so there must be a cause

And that cause may have to be that there is realization of the possibility

That there is recognition of the potential goodness of evil when multiplied

But the fear and dread by man against the evils of evil men

Makes man paranoid of the possibility of evil being capable of some good

And the denial of this mathematical truth is almost always with us

That negative multiplied by negative yields a positive.

Thus, in our fear no chance is given to evil to multiply with other evils

And so the possibility of the production of good out of evil often eludes man

And perpetuates man in the ignorance and presumed wisdom of his conceit

That evil must be chased out of existence before good can thrive

And that only supposedly good and pious men should be allowed to stand

While men who live their true colors of evil-doing are booed and jeered.

Yet despite the elusive quest for the perfect state in private and public life

This perfect state has never by man been achieved anywhere

But the light always and forever pushes darkness into retreat.

Again, the Almighty has endowed every generation and color with peculiar gifts

And no trend, generation or color must be assumed to be all good or all bad

And endowments that were assumed impeccable may later be seen to have some flaws

Again, gifts that may seem to be bad can often be refined for some good

And humanity needs the good and the abhorred for it to appreciate what is good.

She needs some scoundrels for some others to be defined as saints.

And while the good among us are needed more, for the system to appreciate,

There is need for variety in the system lest the fallouts of monotony bore us to death.

And so it is, to the land of my birth and to the land of birth of every man

That retreat or abandonment of their nations for good, will solve no problems

For when the good and the positive are in retreat there is victory for evil men

And the lands that we run to were not secured by the faint of heart or the 100% pure.

Freedom and dignity are never won on a platter of gold

America and other free nations were secured by the lion hearted, not by cowards

The Founding Fathers shed their blood and sweat for others to be free

It was only their gallantry and persistence that secured the freedom in the land

The lessons are therefore there for citizens of all ‘besieged’ nations to learn;

Nations besieged by the thieving and murderous hands of their own evil men with good men in retreat

So-called ‘Men of Midas Touch’ that are often borne out of bleeding of their nations

That frantic and mass quest of a spot to perch in other lands is not the answer

And cowardly retreat with our tails between our legs will solve no problems.

True, a good soldier fights and runs to fight another day

Yet neither sycophancy nor eulogizing of evil must find a place in men with honor

And the land of my birth and yours, can only survive through dedication and sacrifice.

Oliver Akamnonu

(A Spot to Perch)

Chapter 1

A DAY AT THE ‘DINER’

I ain’t gonna go to that hotel no more, Dege, Kofi had told his friend Dege as the latter marveled at his old friend’s newly-acquired American parlance. The two teenage friends mounted their respective bicycles to ride away from the little side street eatery. The duo had gone to the eatery which was popularly called mama-put to treat themselves to boiled and stewed cow skin delicacy which was called kpomo. Kofi had motioned to his friend that they should leave immediately even after they had placed and paid for their orders. The decision to leave was triggered by Kofi’s observation that the lady serving customers had furtively pulled out what appeared to be a large winged insect out of the pot from which she was dishing out the stew and ‘kpomo" meat to customers. The serving had continued after the hotelier had pulled the large dead insect from the steaming pot of stew. The hotelier did not appear in the least perturbed by the presence of the large blue bottle fly which had obviously drowned in the pot of soup. Kofi had imagined that there might be many other drowned little creatures in the same pot from which he and his friend would be served. Many kinsmen of the drowned little creature were still seen flying around the room buzzing menacingly as they flew around competing for space and even for free food which the paying customers had paid for. Blue bottle flies did not have to pay to perch on, or partake of the food from any customer’s plate or from the hotelier’s pot.

Kofi had paid the required one dollar for the stewed cow skin meal but had decided to forfeit the payment and leave the ‘restaurant’ after he saw the dead fly removed from the pot of stew. The amount was not up to what it would have cost him in America to have a hamburger.

Both Kofi and Dege had been classmates right from primary school through secondary school until after the secondary school certificate examinations which both friends had passed in the first division.

Kofi had applied for admission into a junior college in the USA while Dege had proceeded to do the Higher School Certificate Examinations, popularly called HSC of the University of London. Dege whose full name was Igbodege had completed the HSC examinations and had passed all three papers in physics, chemistry and zoology. He was as of the time of Kofi’s visit, waiting for direct entry admission for medicine which was the course that he had applied for in the country’s premier university. The latter was still administered as a campus of the University of London.

Kofi on his part had completed his studies in a community college and was briefly home on vacation in his country Konganoga. He too was looking forward to completing college work preparatory to his seeking admission into a medical school.

Betty’s Café was the name that was hand-written on a wooden board with blue paint and mounted on an ungainly wooden stick in front of the one room make-shift eatery that was run by one Mrs. Betty Fisher who hailed from a neighboring country to Konganoga.

Betty’s Café was reputed to be very affordable. It therefore enjoyed the patronage of relatively poor students and tradesmen who could not afford the higher cost of the bigger restaurants. Despite its low quality, Betty’s Café was considered more elitist than the true mama put eateries which were mobile eateries that were mounted on wheels, hand-rolled carts which were rolled from place to place for itinerant workers and workers on construction sites.

Mrs. Betty Fisher usually cooked all the food at her house and brought them by the hand-pushed trolley to the café where they were displayed on long wooden tables.

Betty’s Café was indeed akin to a mama put, the major difference was that it was sold in a room where the customers had some wooden benches as seats. A multicolored curtain shielded the customers who often sat on the wooden benches from the views of passers-by since the door to the café opened directly to the road. Only an open gutter separated the interior of the café from the poorly tarred road which had no pedestrians’ walkway.

The curtain both sides of which had accumulated quite some dirt from the constant flow of traffic shielded the customers of Betty’s Café from the direct views of passers-by. The curtain however did not shield away the non-fee-paying customers, the little uninvited winged ones who, attracted to the café by the rich aroma from the stewed rice and ogiri-flavored soup, would want to partake for free, part of the food by perching on them. The latter groups of customers were the blue-bottle flies which constantly buzzed uninvited, in and out of the single room café.

Mrs. Betty Fisher the proprietress of the restaurant did not appear to be very worried about the flies. She would occasionally try to repel them with a wave of her fingers. If any fly mistakenly perched on the stew and got stuck, Mrs. Betty would simply sigh and pull out the unruly customer out with her thumb and index finger. She would then crush the pest on the cement floor with her slippers, cursing the little animal before killing it.

Foolish fly, you don’t see the latrines at the back of the house. You want free food that is meant for humans. Go to your death and warn your living kinsmen never to come here again, Mrs. Betty would whisper to herself as if in a quiet discussion with the adventurous fly before crushing the latter on the floor.

On any particular day that the flies were too many, Mrs. Betty would provide each customer with a raffia-made fan which the customer would hold on one hand for repelling the menacing flies while he or she ate with the other hand.

This Betty’s café is shit! Kofi again said to his bemused friend Dege.

The god-damned owner must be a son of a bitch to charge people a dime for any bullshit food in this place. Those f—king people in Department of Health aren’t doing their jobs. They need to be taken to a few places in Houston, Dallas or Las Vegas to see how places where human beings eat look like. F—king idiots! All they know here is how to collect bribes and f—king free lunch. Kofi continued angrily, as the gutter language which he had acquired over a couple of years from his contacts at school in America flowed almost naturally from his lips.

Dege looked with awe and admiration at his friend as the latter displayed his anger and his newly-acquired accent and vulgar vocabulary.

The two friends thereafter mounted their bicycles and headed for Dege’s father’s house which was situated less than half a mile down the road.

The traffic was light as there were only few people who owned cars in Anga the medium-sized city where both Kofi and Dege grew up and did their primary schooling in the same school before heading to the secondary school.

Just before Dege and Kofi entered the house after dismounting from their bicycles, Dege observed that the face of his friend Kofi was looking a little different.

You look different Kofi. Your face looks bare!

It may be because I was angry at the flies in that Mama Betty’s f–king hotel. Kofi replied.

Kofi then rubbed his face and exclaimed: Oh, my eye-glasses! Shit! I left my glasses on that god-dam hotel when the flies were getting between the glasses and my eyes.

Then we have to go back and collect the glasses Dege suggested.

No, it is worth only one dollar. The woman can have it. It may help buy some fly repellants. Kofi concluded.

But how will you see and read?

Hmm-m… Kofi smiled and remained silent.

It was only after Kofi and Dege had finished consuming the two plates of white rice with red tomato and hot pepper cooked by Dege’s mother that Kofi for the first time informed Dege that the series of eye-glasses which he had worn from his third year in the secondary school were indeed simply plain glasses which had no corrective lens for any defective vision.

I had bought those plain glasses from Ekoha market just to impress the babes and to let people around me know that I was a student. Men, the glasses fitted me and I had to stick to them. In fact my first girlfriend Theresa told me that she fell in love with me because of my glasses. Men, it sounded awesome. So you can see that glasses make a difference. I kept changing the glasses from the dollar stores when I went over to America. Even when we went chilling out in Dallas with our girls, and I donned my jeans and sleeveless shirts in summer, I only looked complete when I fitted on the glasses. Men, it made the heads of the chicks turn!

The desire on the part of Dege to also experience such bliss was obvious on the latter’s face.

Dege had known Kofi for nearly twelve years. But he never really got to know that the glasses that his friend wore were merely for aesthetic purposes. So well had the soft spoken and mild-mannered Kofi been able to conceal the real intentions for which he wore glasses that not even his closest friend knew that they were merely plain glasses.

Chapter 2