Secrets of a Unique & Sexy Speaker: 155 Vital, Quick & Helpful Tips for Writing Your Speech, Facing the Audience & Overcoming Fear!

By Marion Claire

Whats the best way to calm the butterflies before you speak?
Should you open your speech with a joke or a story?
What should you do if you forget something important?
How do you overcome your fear of speaking to large and small groups?
Here, in an easy to access format, youll find techniques to create and deliver a speech for every occasion, overcome pre-speech nerves, avoid tripping over your tongue, and always look and feel like a Unique and Sexy Speaker.
You speak in public every day. Whether youre giving a speech, having a conversation, saying your wedding vows, teaching your kids, exhorting your sales team, or talking in your sleep, if someone is listening, you have the opportunity to influence and to inspire.
Being influential and inspirational! Thats very sexy!

As an international speaker with more than a dozen years of experience speaking to all kinds of audiences, I can say this is a truly useful collection of tips that can help any speaker rise to the next level. I've read many books for speakers, and this is the one I'd use right before I go on stage or as I fly to my next engagement to remind me of the basics and to get a good, positive outlook thanks to its bite-sized chunks of wisdom.

Dan Janal, publicity/marketing/thought leader, and president of PR LEADS. PLUS.com

Secrets of a Unique & Sexy Speaker sets out the rules of speaking in clear, concise, and easy-to-follow steps that take the mystery and fear out of public speaking. This is an indispensable guide for anyone who wants to, or has to, stand before an audience to deliver a message.

Rona Arato, author of The Last Train, a Holocaust Story

Lucky me! I read Secrets of a Unique & Sexy Speaker before two public appearances, one in front of a hundred or so businesspeople and the other before a board of eighteen. I chose several Speaking Tips to practice and test drive. While much of the book might have you nod in recognition, if youre aware of your own ticks and have received feedback about your speaking, you willas I didbenefit enormously from consistently applying these techniques to help you improve. As Marion Claire points out, speaking is a mental as well as physical sport that requires preparation to achieve greater freedom of expression. Thank you, Marion, for your thorough, practical and encouraging guidance.

Agnes Mura, MA MCC, global leadership coach, www.AMIcoaches.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Mar 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452565255

Marion Claire

Originally a TV comedy writer and co-creator of The Love Boat TV series, Marion Claire, The Speaking Is Sexy Coach, has been a speaker’s coach and speechwriter for fifteen years. Her eNewsletter, Speaking Is Sexy, offering practical speaking tips, is available twice monthly on her website, www. marionclaire.com, along with her Free Report, “5 Magic Keys to Creating Any Speech.” She’s an experienced speechwriter, presents workshops on public speaking, and coaches CEOs, management teams, small business owners, sole practitioners, and creative artists. A recovered agoraphobic, she has a unique understanding of the fear of performing in front of an audience and speaks and coaches from personal experience on overcoming debilitating anxiety. Based in Los Angeles, she travels extensively for both business and pleasure.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 Marion Claire.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6524-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6526-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6525-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012923453

Balboa Press rev. date: 3/14/2013

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

PART ONE:    FACING THE AUDIENCE

1.   Ask the Audience to Dance

2.   Give The Audience Your Gift

3.   Get To Know Your Audience

4.   Big Or Small, Talk To Them All

5.   Little Things Mean A Lot

6.   Handling A Heckler

7.   Teach Your Hands To Speak

8.   Stand And Deliver

9.   Take Control Of The Power Spot

10.   Re-Think Before You Speak

11.   Know The Six P’s Of Public Speaking

12.   A Mantra For The Butterflies

13.   Choose To Speak Brilliantly!

PART TWO:    OVERCOMING YOUR FEARS

14.   Being Perfect Is Not An Option

15.   Expect To Be Brilliant

16.   Identify Your Fears

17.   Learn To Breathe!

18.   Forget To Forget

19.   A Tale Of Stage Fright

20.   Who’s Listening?

21.   Are You Comfortable Hearing You?

22.   What’s Wrong About Being Wrong?

23.   Take A Chance On Yourself!

24.   What’s Stopping You? (from being a Calm, Confident, Sexy Speaker)

PART THREE:    WRITING YOUR SPEECH

25.   Do You Hate To Write A Speech?

26.   Plan To Speak & Follow Your Plan

27.   Prepare Properly To Perform Perfectly

28.   Know Your Audience!

29.   The Easiest Way To Write A Speech

30.   What Should You Say First?

31.   Speak From The Heart

32.   The Goldilocks Technique

33.   Too Much Information?

34.   Make Your Speech Easy To Remember

PART FOUR:    SOME OTHER BOOKS TO READ

PART FIVE:    BASIC SPEECH ELEMENTS

A.   Sample Speech Outline

B.   Do You Really Need A Slide Presentation?

PART SIX:     BONUS GIFTS

PREFACE

Ten Rules for the Reluctant Speaker**

A young man approached a famous university professor, renowned as The Great Speaker, to seek his advice. I have to give a speech, the young man said, and I’m terrified. I wish they hadn’t asked me, and I pray they’ll never ask me again, but I can’t get out of it. Can you tell me what to do?

The famous professor looked down at the young man from his great height (he was 6’7) and scowled through the spectacles perched on the end of his rather large nose. It takes years of practice to be a great speaker," he growled.

I don’t have years, said the young man miserably, I have to give the speech next week!

The Great Speaker nodded. All right, he said somewhat grudgingly, I’ll give you ten rules that will help a reluctant speaker like you. But you must pay strict attention and write them down!

The young man nervously pulled out his notebook and a pen. Ready, sir, he said gratefully.

Then listen carefully, the famous man said.

Here are the Ten Rules the Great Speaker gave to the nervous young man:

Rule 1. Never plan your speech ahead. Have a general idea what you want to say, but nothing specific. The words will come to you when you’re in front of the audience.

Rule 2. Never rehearse in advance. You’re a smart young man, you’ve seen other great speakers. Just do what they do.

Rule 3. Wear your most comfortable clothes, nothing fancy, nothing too business-like or elegant. If you dress up for your audience, they’ll think you’re trying to show off that you’re better than they are.

Rule 4. Don’t speak too loudly or too clearly. Make the audience struggle to hear what you’re saying. If they have to work for it, they’ll appreciate it more.

Rule 5. Don’t speak in short, concise phrases. The audience won’t believe you know what you’re talking about unless you say it in long, rambling sentences that are hard to follow. Remember that it’s better to keep the audience guessing than to make it too easy for them.

Rule 6. Don’t use helpful handouts or prepare slide presentations. The audience came to see you, not your visual aids. They’ll pay close attention to what you’re saying if they have nothing else to look at.

Rule 7. Stand stiffly in one spot and look straight ahead. Keep your eyes focused on the back wall of the room. On no account make eye contact with anyone in the audience or make any natural body movements. You want the audience to focus on what you’re saying, not how you’re saying it.

Rule 8. Ignore any noises from the audience like coughing, sneezing, cries that they can’t hear you, requests to slow down, or questions about your competence to stand before them. Just because they’re being rude doesn’t mean you have to acknowledge their bad behavior.

Rule 9. If you’re nervous, chew gum. Watching your jaw go up and down will focus their attention on you and calm your stomach at the same time.

Rule 10. Speak as fast as you can. That way you’ll get it over with sooner and can sit down!

When the Great Speaker stopped talking, the young man looked at his notes with some dismay.

Are you sure, sir, that these rules will help me become a great speaker? he asked with trepidation.

Are you nuts? the Great Speaker roared. Of course not! But they’ll ensure that no one ever asks you to speak again!

**Moral: Be careful what you ask for because you may get it!

Do yourself a favor. Seek help from the right source.

This book will not let you down or lead you astray.

INTRODUCTION

Why is this book called Secrets of a Unique & Sexy Speaker?

When what someone says and how they say it sends chills up and down your spine, that’s sexy! Whether you’re giving a speech, having a conversation, saying your wedding vows, teaching your kids, exhorting your sales team, or talking in your sleep, whenever you open your mouth to speak and someone is listening, you have the opportunity to influence and to inspire. Being influential and inspirational! That’s very sexy!

If you’re already speaking in public, thinking about speaking in public but procrastinating like crazy, afraid to speak in public, envious of people who speak confidently in public, or would just like a few ideas on how you can speak better than you do now, in this book you’ll find the tips and techniques you’ve been looking for to become the unique and sexy speaker you’ve always longed to be.

What If You’re Really Afraid to Speak?

If you’re one of the thousands who believe that having to give a speech is a fate worse than death, these Tips are meant for you. They will demystify and neutralize many of the reasons why people run in the other direction when they’re offered the opportunity to speak.

Make no mistake, it is an opportunity. It’s a unique moment for you to shine, to show the world who you really are, to be admired for your talents and your abilities. If right about now you’re cringing in fear or backing off and whispering to yourself, She’s crazy! I can’t do that!… hold on! Give yourself a break! You picked up this book because the title spoke to you. Don’t stop now before you have the chance to learn something!

No matter how reluctant you are to get up and shine in front of a crowd, you can overcome your fears. Whoever you are, whatever your background, your history or your experience, you can become a unique and sexy speaker. I know this is true because I was once just like you… terrified of getting up on a stage and letting people see who I was.

For more than twenty years, I suffered from agoraphobia, that devastating and debilitating illness which makes some people so afraid of the outside world that they never leave the house. At its worst, I couldn’t even think about standing in line at the corner supermarket without experiencing heart flutters, the shakes, claustrophobia, and a few other unpleasant symptoms. No way was I going to stand up in front of a group of strangers and make a speech! I was a shivering mess.

It took time and effort but, using the Speaking Tips in this book (and other therapies), I got over it. Our minds are miraculous. If we have a burning desire, a sincere belief that we can change and are determined to give ourselves the chance, it’s totally possible to overcome whatever fears may be holding us back. I say this with absolute confidence because today I speak in front of groups of all sizes, shapes and interests. If I can do it, so can you!

What If Public Speaking is Just Not Your Thing?

Has anyone ever asked you to give a speech and your automatic reaction was, Oh, no, public speaking just isn’t my thing. Whenever I hear that, I always ask, Why not? You do it every day. Before you shake your head in vehement objection, I usually add, You’re doing it right now.

What is it about the words public speaking that make people freeze up, back off, clutch their stomachs and say, Oh, no! Not me! No way! From the moment we walk out of our house in the morning, whatever we say we’re saying in public. Whether we’re on the job, at the Mall, in a restaurant or out to a movie with a friend, we’re putting on a public face. Every word we say is designed to influence the person we’re interacting with at that particular moment.