Leap of Faith: The Love Series: Jess, #3

By Emma Keene

Jess has to make a decision that could potentially change the entire direction of her life.

With the recent incident at school, she wants to take a leap of faith and go to New York for what she hopes is the opportunity of a lifetime. Jess knows it won't be easy, but she's ready to do whatever it takes to succeed. Ever since she was a little girl, she wanted to work in the fashion industry, and this could be her only chance.

Moving somewhere so far and different is going to challenge her on a daily basis, but she's ready to take a leap of faith. It's time for Jess to follow her dreams.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Outfox Digital Publishing
• Release date: Jul 23, 2018
• ISBN: 9781540119872

Emma Keene

I live in beautiful Seattle, WA with my amazing, supportive husband and our two German Shepherds that truly believe it's all about them. I love the rain and it gives me plenty of time to read and write. Visit emmakeene.com to find out more about Emma or to join her mailing list.

Book preview

1

Ilean back on my couch and just stare at the ceiling. This wasn’t what I had in mind when this school year started, that’s for sure. Marketing had seemed like the only traditional degree that even appealed to me, mostly because I always felt like I’d be good at it and I figured I could get a job almost anywhere since every business has a marketing team or department.

Now, though. Ugh. I have no idea what to do.

I’ve reached for my phone every few minutes since I sat down. I keep thinking that I should call someone and talk to them about it. My mom popped into my head first, but I already know what she’d say. The same goes for everyone else I thought about calling, including Logan. The only person that would tell me any different would be Ryan and I know what he would say.

If I’ve learned anything from TV and movies, which is a terrible place for life lessons… I realize this, it’s that there comes a time in life where I’ll be faced with a momentous decision that has the potential to shape the rest of my life. Silly, I know, but there is also a part of me that can’t help thinking that there is some truth to that… and I’m starting to feel like that’s what is staring me down at this very moment.

Switching my major wouldn’t be the end of the world, I get that, but I’m also not that keen on the idea. I could also switch schools. Again, not something I’d want to do. I guess that’s a better option, though, because it would allow me to keep my major and sort of pick up where I left off. I’m assuming I could transfer my credits and deal with that whole administrative nightmare. Nothing I can’t handle, just not what I would prefer to be doing with my time. The last, and most… disruptive choice… would be to take the job or internship that Ryan was telling me about.

Going to work in the fashion industry, and specifically at a magazine like Fashion Society, is something I had always dreamed of… but just assumed it was unattainable—those kinds of jobs were for women and girls who knew someone in the industry and probably even went to school to study fashion. It’s not a world someone like me, someone so ordinary, could ever belong. Right?

I pick my phone up, again, but then set it down. No. This is a decision I need to make on my own. It’s going to have the biggest impact on my own life, nobody else, so I need to think it through.

New York. It would be amazing to go live there. The prospect is scary, though. So many people in one place. An unfamiliar city. It would be like starting all over. Is that a bad thing, though? It would get me away from the stupid marketing program here. That’s a plus.

There’s a knock on my door which promptly returns me to reality. I jump up off the couch.

One second, I say, as they knock a second time.

I pull the door open and smile when I see Logan.

Hey.

Hi.

I step back and close the door once he’s inside.

How are you? he asks.

I shrug and put my arms around him.

Better now that you’re here.

What’s wrong?

I take a deep breath. Should I tell him what I’ve been struggling with for the past few hours? No, I don’t think I should. It’s a decision I need to make for myself… by myself. Talking to Logan about it would only cloud my judgment. I have a feeling he would probably tell me to follow my heart and do what I wanted, but then I would start thinking about how sweet he is and how leaving to go to a new school, or New York, would mean breaking up with him now… and… yeah. Sometimes I really hate making decisions.

Nothing, I say, shaking my head.

He leans back and just stares at me.

You’re sure?

Yep… totally fine. How are you?

He shrugs, walks over to the couch, and sits down. I take the spot next to him and turn my body to face Logan.

I’ve been better, he says.

Did something happen?

Well, kind of. I finally told Coach, and a few of the players, that I was leaving for the draft.

Really?

I was starting to think he was going to put it off until the last possible moment.

Yeah.

I’m assuming they were upset… and that’s why you’re seemingly down.

I can tell that he’s not his normal happy and chipper self.

The guys… they understood. I mean, they were disappointed… but they would do the same thing if they were in my position, so they don’t blame me at all. Coach, though… he was pretty upset.

Sorry.

Logan shrugs.

It’s fine, I… he’s been a mentor to me, and he’s shaped me into the player I am today, so it’s hard for me to cause him pain. I know it sounds stupid.

I shake my head.

Not at all. I get it.

He’s the one that recruited me… he always believed in me… and he stuck by me when I got injured and… yeah.

I’m not sure what to say to make you feel better.

Logan sighs and shakes his head.

Thanks, he says, but there’s nothing to say. Not really. It’s going to be what it is. This is why I was dreading telling him. I knew he was going to react this way. I mean… he screamed at me… told me that I’d be nothing without him… blah, blah. It was hard to sit there and take it. I wanted to walk out of there and never look back, but I feel like I do owe him for some of my success.

Can I do anything?

He shakes his head.

No, thanks… it’s just going to be what it is.

I glance down at the floor and then back to Logan. I can tell he’s having a hard time, but I’m not sure what I can do to make him feel better.

What are you doing tonight? I ask.

Nothing. Why?

Do you want to come over for dinner?

You’re going to cook?

Yeah.

He cracks a smile.

Do you know how to cook?

Of course.

I don’t really. I can make mac and cheese… and sandwiches. That’s about the extent of my cooking ability, but I want to do something nice for him and that’s the first thing that popped into my mind.

What time? Logan asks.

Six?

Do you have to work tonight?

I shake my head.

No, I have today off.

He reaches over and takes my hand in his.

Thanks for listening.

Always. I’m sorry that you’re struggling so much with your decision to leave.

He nods and sighs.

I thought it would be a relief when I finally told them, but yeah… not so much.

Are you regretting your decision? I ask.

No, not at all. I just… I feel like I’m letting Coach and the guys down, but I still think leaving and going pro is the best decision for me.

I know that you have a connection to them, you’re a team… but it’s still important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with doing what is best for you. They’ll understand. I’m sure of it.

Logan nods and looks over at me. A faint smile forms on his lips.

What? I ask.

Nothing… not really. You’re just… you’re sweet and kind. I feel like nobody else understands why I made this decision. It wasn’t something I took lightly, so it’s nice to have you in my corner.

Of course.

Logan stands up.

I guess I should get going.

I nod and stand up to walk him to the door.

What time do you want to have dinner? I ask.

You’re cooking… so that’s up to you.

Six? Seven?

Whatever you want.

He leans in and gives me a quick kiss as we reach the door.

Let’s do seven.

I’ll be here.

He smiles before turning and walking toward his car. I watch him for a few seconds before closing the door. It seems like it helped him to talk through his decision, but it’s entirely possible that he was trying not to burden me… considering everything I’ve been going through. I really do need to talk to him about my plans. I just don’t know when the best time to do that is going to be. Maybe after dinner?

I grab my phone and sit back down on the couch. Thinking about that can wait. Right now… I need to figure out what the heck I’m going to make for dinner.

The majority of the recipes I find look absurdly delicious, but I have a lot of doubt in my ability to execute them. I want to do something nice for Logan. The last thing I need is to cook him something so terrible that he can’t stomach it, or worse… forces himself to eat something awful just to be nice to me.

I take a deep breath and continue my search for a meal that I might actually be able to pull off.

2

Ipush the cart back to where they are kept in front of the store and lift my bags out before turning and walking back toward my car. This is going to be an experience, that’s for sure.

The idea of cooking a meal, something more than just frozen food or mac and cheese, is something that I didn’t imagine having to face at this point in my life. Silly, I know. I’m feeling very… adult right now. I shake my head as I get into my car and start heading back to my house.

Just deciding what to make for dinner took me an hour and now I’m starting to question my ability to pull it off.

Settle down, Jess… it’s gonna be fine.

Logan will appreciate a home cooked meal, that much I know, even if it isn’t the best food ever. I’m attempting to make chicken piccata with pasta and a salad. The recipe I found for the chicken made it sound easy enough, but I have my doubts. I’m sure it’s an easy meal for someone with experience cooking… but that’s not me. It’s only supposed to take twenty minutes to cook, another positive, but I’m going to start an hour before he comes over… just in case I run into any hiccups.

I get back to my house, unload the groceries and put them away. I grab my phone and sit down on my couch. There is a text from Ryan. It came while I was driving home, and I didn’t hear the notification.

Hey, just checking in. I’m not trying to rush you, but I wanted to see if you had given any more thought to that internship I mentioned. I’m just not sure how long it will be available. I know it’s not an easy decision to make. I can always come over, and we can talk about it, if you want. Just let me know.

I set my phone down and sigh. He’s right—I’m sure it’s time sensitive and I’ve been putting off making a decision either way. Tomorrow. Yeah… tomorrow I’ll decide. Tonight is about Logan and making sure he feels like he made the right decision to leave school early. I don’t want to even bring it up.

It would probably be in my best interest to text Ryan back, but I decide against it. He’s a nice guy, but I don’t need any more drama in my life… so I’m not going to invite him over to talk about it. The last thing I need is for Logan to show up and have Ryan here. I feel like it’s a decision I need to make for myself, anyway. I’m not sure why I’m even struggling so much with it—I guess I feel like whatever decision I make is going to alter the course of my life and that prospect is kind of scary. I feel like I’m young enough, though, that I can always change my mind at a later point. I’m just worried about blowing off the opportunity to work at Fashion Society because I know it’s not an opportunity that might not ever come around again. If I didn’t jump at this opportunity, is it something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life? I guess that’s the real question… and once I can answer it, then I’ll be able to make my decision.

I stand up from the couch and head back into the kitchen. It’s a little early to start dinner, but I feel like it’s the easiest way to distract myself from all the other thoughts swirling through my brain.

I take all the ingredients out of the fridge and lay them out on the counter. I’m pretty sure I got everything I needed… a good first step.

It takes the entirety of my focus for the next forty minutes to make dinner. It felt as though I was doing three or four things at once and I almost lost my cool a couple of times—in addition to almost burning the chicken as I was cutting lettuce for the salad. That would have been bad. I take it off the heat, take a deep breath, and refocus myself.

I sit down on the couch and grab my phone to wait for Logan… and there is a knock on the door. I groan as I stand up and walk over to answer it. This is why I don’t cook more often—one meal for two people and I’m so exhausted that I don’t even feel like eating.

Logan smiles as I open the door, and he walks inside. He leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

Hey, I say, as I close the door.

How are you?

Tired. You?

He tilts his head and then smiles.

It smells wonderful in here.

Don’t get too excited… I have no idea how it actually turned out.

He shakes his head and puts his arms around me.

If it tastes half as good as it smells, it’ll be the best dinner I’ve ever had.

I roll my eyes and shake my head. He laughs.

It could be inedible… just so you know.

What did you make?

Chicken… pasta… salad.

I’m sure it’ll be really good.

We head into the kitchen and I grab a couple of plates out of the cabinet.

Have you made this before? Logan asks.

No.

That’s a bold move.

I laugh.

Yeah… I had to try something new.

Didn’t feel like making me something you’ve made before?

No… I didn’t feel like feeding you a sandwich and mac and cheese. Or eggs.

Logan laughs and shakes his head.

You’re ridiculous.

I turn around and plate our food. I hand a plate to Logan, and we sit down at the table.

It does look really good, he says.

Fair enough, but that doesn’t matter if it tastes awful.

He shakes his head and picks up his fork. I cut a piece of chicken and scoop it up with some pasta. I’m hesitant as I start to chew. It’s actually not bad. I mean, it’s nothing spectacular… but it’s better than I was expecting. Maybe I just did a good job of managing my expectations.

Mmm… this is fantastic.

I look up and see Logan going for a second bite of chicken and pasta.

You’re not just trying to make me feel better about my cooking?

He shakes his head and smiles while chewing.

I take a sip of water and then eat some of my salad. I severely overserved myself, so I want to make sure I actually eat some vegetables.

What’s wrong?

I look up from my plate and set down my fork as I think about the best way to answer him. Part of me wants to just blurt it out… and I know that’s probably the worst way to broach it with him. I need to be calm and just tell him what I’m thinking. It’s not like anything is definite at this point. Yeah, Ryan said that he could hook me up with someone there, but that doesn’t mean they would want me.

Jess?

I blink a few times.

Sorry.

It’s all good… you just looked like you zoned out for a few seconds there. Is everything alright?

Yeah… I guess. Kind of.

What’s going on?

I shrug and take a deep breath. Here goes nothing. I guess.

I… I got an internship offer.

Really?

I nod and look at Logan as I try to gauge his reaction.

Yeah… I mean… it’s a really great opportunity… but I’m not sure.

What’s holding you back?

That’s the million-dollar question.

I don’t really know what to say.

He sets his fork down and leans back.

Let’s talk through it and maybe then you’ll feel better equipped to make the right decision.

He’s probably right. I usually think of myself as a confident and logical person, but everything that has happened lately has thrown me for a loop.

Well, you know Ryan?

Logan raises an eyebrow and nods.

"He got in touch with