Menelik's Mist

By Elraes Menelik

This is what I have endured...

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 29, 2011
• ISBN: 9781477221563

Elraes Menelik

A Son of The Most High

Book preview

Menelik’s Mist 

Elraes Menelik 

missing image file

AuthorHouse™ 

1663 Liberty Drive 

Bloomington, IN 47403 

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone] 

© 2011 by Elraes Menelik. All rights reserved. 

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author. 

First published by AuthorHouse 04/18/11 

ISBN: 978-1-4567-6413-5 (sc) 

ISBN: 9781477221563 (eBook) 

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only. 

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock. 

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them. 

Contents 

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

TEN. A

TEN. B

TEN. C

TEN. D

TEN. E

TEN. F

TEN. G

WHITE NILE… .

BLUE NILE…

This book is dedicated to the One who can’t be named, 

so I say THE MOST HIGH… and to my mist, mi Love… 

Special thanks to my Dad, Mom, Shaha Mfundishi Maasi, 

my families; Moyo Kazi, The Fierce, The Ethiopian Orthodox Church, 

The 144 thousands, and all of those who names are written in the 

ONE

It’s real 

quiet 

and 

peaceful 

here… 

it feels like I’m 

floating 

a drift, 

free 

then 

gently 

it appear, 

a beautiful light filled the space above me, shinning brightly in this darkness, then blooming behind it, another light of a different hue came into existence, then another, and another until there was three different lights, like halos shinning behind, this first overwhelming beacon, then unfolding like a flower revealing multicolored pedals, then stars, ultra white stars appearing here and there, popping into sight, then quickly moving about, there are too many, to count, then in a dance they moved around until the space is totally filled, as far as my eyes could see, an ocean of beautiful lights. 

It was these intense lights, that woke him, opening his eyes looking around to find himself on a bench, in a laying position, in some kind of lobby. Standing over him a voice calling out. 

Come on, get up, no sleeping in this station, move along! 

Overhead speakers calling out trains’ numbers, tracks assignments, it’s a transit cop, pushing his stick into the sleeping man’s side, the man rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, kicking his legs to the floor, still part dazed. 

Gotta get up, gotta get it goin’ buddy! Now pointing with his stick toward the exit. 

Raising to his feet, he moves slowly toward the exit, still dull, pulling together his coat, it was given to him, but for some reason he forgot who had giving it to him, or when? 

his eyes were clearing 

rubbing his head 

Looking around at 

the light gray walls that reached up, a painted scenery with a sanitizing 

waterfall falling on rocks in this mountainous backdrop, somewhere in some kinda of wilderness, that the artist had dreamed of no doubt, these travelers in motion, shifting his body out the way of some, still watching, listening, women’s shoes clicking on the tile floors, tight dresses, outer coats with matching hats, for some unknown reason this activity filled him with a sense of wonder, to see businessmen in their suits, looking down to their watches, all of them, models on the run away. 

He moves on ever so slowly as if something was coming into focus, in his mind he started to remember, something… 

No forgetting that’s! 

Turning his view back to the sights of oversized clothed youths moving in herds, talking very quickly of the day’s activity, all moving along to their next destinations, all in their own private worlds, so many sounds filling this grand station, like a opera, a play, it’s so beautiful here, all different, all the same, all moving along this inner space. 

Oh yeah. Mumbling under his breath, 

what a strange lot, I’ll figurer them out… 

Rubbing his hands together, as he continue to move toward a exit, 

I’ll figure them out, another day, 

but now where was I? 

Ooh yeah… 

Laughing as he reached the doors, two women giving him extra room, one must always stay aware of one’s surrounding, this city is full of killers, thieves, liars, and crooks, pulling his hat down as if to cover his face, smiling he heads out. 

I got to keep my eyes open! 

It’s snowing 

I wonder… when that man, lost his capability to care, his heart? 

I wonder the day he died, did he even know it? 

Considering for a moment the man with the stick, caused a tension to ripple from his chest to the back of his neck, reaching out with his hand. 

Rubbing the area 

what a cruel thing to do, forcing him, 

a human being out into this cold, cold night. 

Wandering down the still busy street, the wind blowing large amounts of air 

dropping the temperature down farther, then the thirty five degrees posted on the side of this building, lights everywhere, billboards of what to buy, TV shows to watch, artists yelling out. 

Look, look, see, see! 

Get ya picture done, Cheap! 

Pictures… . 

Drawings… 

Other night hawks calling out their wears, and their deals. 

What a show! 

He sees his breath in the air hanging, like a prayer, cars moving with the traffic 

lights moving as they changed from green to yellow and then red… 

Kicking in the window in an old building, he found as few blocks down the way, moving in from the alley out the dark into the black, shaking slightly as his eyes move scanning the room. 

Now where, where to lay my head? 

He through as he continue to look for a spot 

Man, I’m tired. 

He pronounced it, forcing it out, 

taking a sitting position with his knees to his chest 

then pulling the coat over his legs, covering most of him 

in this position 

for the warmth. 

Thinking back 

replaying his 

few memories he did have, of waking up in 

that room, that morning 

white was the color 

seeing that older guy looking at him thru that thick glass. 

him in bed, white sheets, walls 

he had green eyes… 

wires and tubes him plugged in 

clicking machines with green lines. 

then 

pain 

crazy pain! 

Gray hairs covered his head, like a grandpa 

Pulling this hose out his mouth, choking 

Where am I? 

Women coming in punching a needle into the bag that was hung on a stand,

others holding me down. 

Jewel? 

My mind seem to work on it’s own, he noticed this some time back, of how he had no control of how, things just seem to pop into his head, but just where did they come from, now that was the real question? 

Man, 

this is crazy! 

The cold had him shaking alittle bit, his belly stopped grinding itself on itself. 

He sees his breath in the air hanging, like a cloud, 

head against the wall. 

closing his eyes 

different things floating thru 

pictures with no meaning attached, and most of them made no sense, nothing

matching anything he now saw. 

What am I looking at? 

It’s like his mind couldn’t translate what his eyes see, saw! 

I’m on empty 

eyes open again. 

Is this how I always was, is this my normal? 

More breath is seen in the air. 

No, no this is tired talking, I must remember I need sleep, yeah I need sleep, that’s what this is. 

Eyes close again. 

And I’m hungry! 

Hope comes in with a thick blanket wrapping him in it, four spirits of flames entered, posting up, now standing guard. As the Arch Angel Dreams drops down, placing a package on the table of his heart. 

Eat! 

Some man with a sad smile 

Is that me? 

Taking a closer look 

"It looks like he had seen more then he wanted to, a man who had lost everything home, friends, family… Even his own name sound strange to his ears, his past was gone, he had nothing, everything was taken away. 

A new beginning? 

Something said 

What did you say? 

Silence 

maybe it was a secret, God’s secret. 

His empty belly woke him, with it’s deep rumbling. 

eyes opening 

they were adjusted to the dark, 

now 

seeing 

broken down equipment, pieces of furniture of wood and metal. 

A rat family running across the floor, 

three, 

four, 

five. 

The patter of their little feet. 

The wind blowing harder, ice babies clicking up against the windows. 

Turning to look for them, there they are, little crystals. 

GOD… 

He started… then stopping, not really knowing what to say, or who he was even talking to, in any case… it’s best sometime just to keep quiet and wait, somebody had to be looking for me! 

A dog barking pulled him back to where he sat. 

It was 

morning 

Looking around 

Still here. 

Forcing down this anger, it would have been so easy he could have just slipped off in his sleep, no murder, no kill, just real easy a peacefully way off this hook. 

What’s a hook? 

And can these thoughts be mines? They don’t feel like me. 

Looking around It seems colder, crossing his arms to pat his coat, his body, getting to his feet. 

This is something new! bit of light shining thru the holes in the roof, deep blue skies 

moving 

thru this, 

this 

harsh winter weather 

now 

that’s punishing, 

frigid cold and her little sister bitter. 

be on theirs 

without any motive 

or considered opinions of what they do, they’re just real harsh. 

Yeah, that’s the word 

ok enough… 

on 

to the basic, 

ordering his eyes to seek and find, 

Smiling 

He says to himself. 

"Seek and find any useable material… that’s the first step to survival in a 

foreign territory." 

As stealth as possible he moved thru the rooms of this shambles once done he diverted into another, then another till he reasoned to himself, That there is nothing left from these detainees, these convicts of this hardship, but damage! 

These are cellblocks, dungeons for the low income families, it’s easy to see, this place is suited for prisoners, knocked out windows, busted floors’ boards, dirty old clothing, nothing I can use, 

plastic bags, needles? small bags? 

Then that smell of somethings wrong, something foul, moving closer, what is that smell? Deeper in he see two dope fiends sitting on the floor their heads hanging down to their chest, a jump rope around his arm, her leaning on him, hugging up both sound asleep. 

Oh inmates 

watching carefully where he walked, back trekking himself 

moving back into the hallways then on the next place, 

nothing is here, but junk… 

A old musty blanket, two candles, 

in the kitchen, a can of beans! 

moving into a bathroom 

trying the 

faucets for water 

looking 

into the 

sink 

nothing 

Ok, I can use that, making use of the toilet, once finished urinating, dry cleaning his hands by rubbing them together, he moves back in front the mirror. Ok so that’s what I looked like? 

After a few more hours, and most of the floors searched, he stop to look out a window nothing, nothing here but… Clouds flying pass, the light lessen to a pale then to a brighter light again. 

More dirty floors, burned buildings more lost stocks in lots, piles of thrown always. 

I don’t even know what I should be doing? 

This gotta be a bad, bad dream, come on, wake up, wake up… 

Wrapped in that blanket he woke today to hear, the rain fall, cars shimming the streets outside, horns blowing. Dreams had told him a story of food, and good times, family and friends. 

Rubbing his head, dirt and small rocks fall, jumping to his feet, it almost felt like he had eaten, oh well at least he wasn’t eaten! 

with the blanket still wrapping his body, he make it to the middle of the room, as if trying to remember where he had landed. 

it had to still be early, noise could be heard now from the streets, 

someone was fighting yelling, sitting back down in a corner pulling the blanket up. 

Walking the day time in this neverland, this surreal place, head down repeating to himself over and over again, This can’t be real, this can’t be real! On these busy sidewalks crowded with folks of all different shades, cutting his eye to the left seeing some standing at the bus scoop, nothing off to the right but lines of businesses, corner stores opening up, guys from the paper truck, pulling bundles of newspapers out the truck placing them on the streets. 

Quickly looking over their shoulders watching him move up the block, 

he across the street, the wind in picking up, these clothes are getting real heavy with the dirt, and the wallow I’ve been in. I haven’t taken a bath in, what a week or so? I know I’m smelling like all kinds of shit, well that’s what this lady told me, a few days ago. 

Mind shifting from outside to inside conditions, and back again, as he stand off watching in that place where he is… Reaching up touching his face. 

Man, my face is numb. 

It’s a cold, cold day no doubt! 

I’m in bad shape, 

for real 

I can’t even think straight 

Man I’m 

hungry 

those little lites keep going off 

like fire works 

in the corners 

of my eyes. 

I’m fatigued, 

exhausted 

I need 

something to eat 

I guess, I can go to my regular restaurants, hopefully nobody will be on the watch, they don’t like people going thru their trash bin, but I can’t wait too long, or else somebody will beat me to it! 

Stopping to look around to see where he was, people side stepping, moving around him, he chucks his hands into his coat pockets, kicking off in another direction… 

Ok, let me run this again 

Ok 

I remember 

I got off a plane, I was in the service 

right? 

right! 

reaching his hand up 

feeling for his nose 

it’s gone! 

Man It’s cold… 

ok 

I was discharged? 

but 

I shouldn’t just be out here. 

How come 

I don’t know no one? 

I got to know someone! 

someone got to know me! 

Where are my records? 

Orders? 

home? 

Pulling the boards off the lower part of the door. 

I tried going into that recruiting office downtown, but they kicked me out, saying I was just a nutcase and I wasn’t allow in their offices, I guess they think I found these dog tags? 

The hardest think is me trying to figure what is me, or some kind of mental interference? These crazy ideas be floating thru based in some weakness, and I can’t use no weakness out here, it’s been plunking my nerves, trying to break me, dismantle my mission, so to speak. 

There is a art to war, strategy, intend and I’ve studied them all, from long distances, short range attacks, the setting up of snares, to scouting methods and the uses of many weapons… 

Up the stairwell he climbs… 

Wrinkling his face at these thoughts, how am I to know for sure, I don’t? I’m unable to remember my own behavior, my up bringing, what my Dad, or what my Mom had said? Or anybody in that case, but for real some of that stuff that be floating thru my mind can’t be me, I can’t think like that, I think? Speaking to the reflection in a broken piece of glass. 

You think? 

Ha, ha! Laughing to himself, then stopping to say I’m shot the fuck out! 

then bits of that prayer came to mind, the one he had said in the train station, 

one line lite up in his mind. Sipping on negative behavior. 

Yeah right… 

Shifting his mind, back to the mission at hand, he continue to look around this old apartment, 

for anything 

useable clothes, weapon, anything he could use, to scavenge, scouring the area 

carefully then moving to the next room, until he finds himself back in the living room cracking the door, ever so slight, looking up and down the hall, listening for footsteps, voices. 

Nothing 

Then he moves, into the hallway on to another apartment, seeing his brother derelict, a few dope fiends laying in the corridor half sleep, half dead, stepping over one looking for anything of use. 

Rubbing his hands together, 

there got to be more, there got to be more then this… 

I shouldn’t just be walking around like this, this ain’t normal. 

it can’t be… 

"Ok, ok be kind to yourself, be easy… 

ok, ok 

Taking a sit on a step, stopping his search for today. 

The Bronx was waking up slowly but, surely, pulling his coat tighter across his chest. 

Unbelievable climbing the fire escape jumping thru a broken window on the fifth floor, making his way around thrown furniture burnt walls, broken floor boards 

into this shell of an apartment. 

In the closet he finds some clothing, a coat that smell like smoke, from a fire, then seeing the damage a flame had cause on the far side, it had taken part of the building. Ok whatever the firemen didn’t steal or the other drifters didn’t, I’ll collect I’ll recycle. 

Jumping steps moving down into the train station the cold was just too much, I’d freeze to death if I stay above ground. 

Station empty jumping the turn style moving down to the platform sitting on a bench. 

He sleeps. 

In a new building, a newer building on a new seek and find mission. 

Bum na gar looking for shit. Floated ever so lightly thru his heart, a tear popped out of nowhere moving down his face, wiping it away quickly yelling up to the ceiling. See what I mean? It’s that bullshit… trying to play me, out. Pacing around the room angrily in small circles, trying to remain calm, trying to pull it back in, but it’s hard, it’s hard enough to live like this, but to have it on echo in your own head is totally unnecessary, whispering into my ear, in my own voice, feeding me that? 

I know that it can’t be the way my mind thinks, I’m not like that I’m not weak like that I know I’m a soldier, not matter what it may look like I’m a fucking soldier. 

Pacing some more, stopping looking out the window. 

I can’t keep hiding in these burned out buildings looking for stuff, I go to open my area alittle more. 

Yeah… Maybe I won’t be able to hear it so clear, out there, anything worth a try… 

Jumping a turnstyle 

I’m in. The new coat he found looked alittle better, thinking now I can ride the warm train all night, hang in the stations. Yeah, read some newspapers, he plans inside his head as he’s rakes thru the garbage can, a man had just threw away his sandwich. 

Gotta to eat! 

Exiting the train 

Please lead me? He asked unsure, seeing a few blocks over, A park yeah! Taking a sit on a bench, near some trees. 

Yeah, here is good. Shaking from a cold wind gusting wrapping his arms around himself, his head goes down toward his knees, a bell rung, 

looking across the street, he see a old church. He slowly gets up legs alittle numb, moving stiffly toward this house of worship, around the side of this structure he sees a line lined up toward the back, he gets in line, and wait, and wait, at the door he signs a log book, then filing in picking up a tray, a fork, spoon wrapped in a napkin, on his tray a lady throws some brown stuff, then bury it in a tan sauce, scoping in a ice cream scooper some white stuff dropping it onto his tray, then a veggie mix, he moves on to a long table takes a seat and eat, after finishing his meal. 

He then sees there are others in this basement, with him, next to him, a older man with a gray beard. His hat pulled down over part of his face covering one eye, one blue eye, breath smelled of cigars and other items he was unable to gather, old wounds from this life style no doubt, body odor as that of a man who haven’t even been near water for years. 

Years? is that possible? 

They do this everyday? 

Yeah at 11am, 3pm, then at 6pm that’s the last meal. Ha, ha, he laughed spitting some of the white stuff on his dirty coat, looking around to see if anybody else caught his wittiness. 

You new at this uh? Well, my boy here is where the finest food is, for sure. More laughs followed by coughing and more rice landing. 

And for daytime activity there the library or begging for change, but for one like yourself, clean up alittle could pair up in the evening hours. 

Again laughing to himself, a man seated across from him joining in the joke 

Yeah, I might put in my bid now? 

Elbowing the one sitting next to him, who looked up with the most saddest eyes he’d ever seen in a human’s face, he too smelled of cigarettes a different brand thank God malt liquor and a strong dash of funk, that sat next to him eating it’s own meal. 

I must smell too, and do I look like them? Came to mind… 

Leave him alone, ya two dogs! 

Another man said sitting a few places down from us, getting up with his tray, moving the guy who was sitting next to me over with a look. 

I’m Sergeant major Samuel k Dabbs. Then rubbing his hand on his pant, 

then holding out his hand. 

I’ve served two full tours in the Vietnam wars, against those communist-led guerrillas of the Vietcong forces in South Vietnam, with some of the best men, I’ve ever seen. Shaking his hand the young man ask as he looks at the two sitting bye. And yours? They quickly spoke up. 

I’m James! The one who elbowed the first who’s said And I’m Julius. 

Who was using a plastic bag for a hat, oh well what ever worked, looking back to the Sergeant Major as he inquired. And your name, Sir? As he slipped a bottle he had pulled out of his pocket, back after pouring a nice amount of this clear liquid into his cup of hot tea. 

Oh, sir I’m nobody. He responded rubbing his head, looking down at the table. Ah, I understand Sir behind enemy lines, uh? Sipping his tea, the others begin to laugh as if he had told a funny joke. This man named Sam informed him of the locations of the different kitchens, in this area to eat in, and more important a few places around the city, of where to go and hide! 

A real nice guy he talked on and on, non stop as if he hadn’t spoke to anyone for years, like he was just released from prison, solitary confinement, it seem like it had been many years under this isolation bid with no one to talk to, so I listened, then I gave my thanks to him, and to the other men sitting with, and I promised to see them again, soon. 

But there is so much to do. 

See you later. 

We’ll hold a sit for ya… 

Remember soldier stay on your toes… 

After spending the rest of the day napping and reading a book that they had there, in the library, I had position myself in one of those big chair, picking a book that peaked my interest, something helpful, a famous person’s life story, and a few current newspapers, I figured this was a good start, 

I needed to be a breasted of such things. 

This will help fill up, those holes in my mind. And so he read and read until a person came around saying the library will be closing, the library will be closing in 15 minutes. 

Returning to that same building, I’d slept in before, no trains tonight, the moving kept waking me up. 

Pulling the blanket from where he hid it, wrapping himself in it, laying again on that table as before, thinking. 

What a good day, Lord, Thank you. 

Laying on the table exhaling 

No need to keep wandering about, lost, no more trash cans. 

Rolling over into get a better position 

"And a name, I need a name, can’t use that one, 

wouldn’t want to give anything away." 

Pulling his dog tags out. "Can’t use this, it might lead to 

something, I don’t want to be known." Moving into a new position. 

It’s good to make plans, oh well now I know where the food is, and I made a few new contacts on the street. Smiling to himself, 

Thank you! 

He had said his prayers already so he fell asleep. 

TWO

Up 

Down 

Up 

Up 

Down 

Up 

Down 

knees bending 

holding hands 

Two boys 

looking at each other face to face 

they started 

giggling, laughing out loud 

holding each other as they rise in the air 

bounding 

higher and higher 

on a bed, the sheets and pillows were now on the floor. 

One’s mouth opened, showing missing teeth 

thick tape wrapped around on the bridge of the eyeglasses on the 

other one’s face, 

smiling 

Up Down 

brothers 

Up Down 

How many days had it been? 

Has it been months yet? 

Uuh eyes slowly opening thru the window’s partial ripped curtains 

daylight dimly showing itself, like it was a cloudy day, maybe? 

Oh, it’s cold, Oooh yeah… . Remembering quickly where he was. 

moving the blanket slightly so he could check out the room 

scanning to making sure he was still alone, once done, 

moving to the edge then getting down off of that table he had slept on. 

Stretching as he moves taking steps, knocking off the dirt, 

with his motions. 

Across the living room, well once it was a living room for someone. 

pulling the blanket up on two edges 

shaking it out. 

Snap, snap! 

Dust flying everywhere. 

Folding it, placing it back on the table, taking more quick looks around the room, the lighten spots on the wall, where pictures had to, had hung once, 

maybe twice? 

Stretching some more to shake this sleepiness a loose, that numb feelings that turned itself into knots in the nite, he moves, unfastening these clusters, these balls of soreness, sending shocks up his frame… Everywhere is pain, in my mind, in my body, is there no place to be without? 

Uuh! Moving his tortoise, shoulders, throwing his arm adjacent his core, 

sometimes out of nowhere, he knew things. He knew what to do, and why, 

bending now, down touching his toes. Ohh yeah that better, alot better. 

Rubbing his head, his face cleaning the sleep from his eyes, wiping his mouth, 

Stepping into the bathroom! 

Cracked mirror pulling open the door. 

Checking his ears, 

his nose for any other effects one gained while one sleeps, 

Ahh. 

Crossing his arms across his chest patting himself, a few times to warm up alittle more, by turning his body and shifting from side to side, glancing out once again around this place he woke up in, listening for anything, any noises in the others rooms, there was four… Nothing, he was alone. 

Brushing off his coat, his jeans, kicking his legs out to get the blood flowing, sleeping on that hard surface wasn’t too smart, but the height keep the rats off of him. 

Speaking out softly to hear his own voice. 

Now! 

Then moving from one room to another room, quietly checking each no bodies. Good. 

Exiting the apartment taking the stairwell down and out of the building, quickly. 

Rubbing his chin in thought 

looking down to his feet to check his boots, his right boot had tape wrapped around the toes to hold the top part to the soul of the shoes, the left one is ok, they had seen some wear. 

Taking a side street out to the train line, oversized coat covered most of what he’s wearing underneath that, a light goat tee peppered his jaw bone about the same color as the dirt he’s covered in, standing about 6 feet tall, thin frame, a common New Yorker, a common homeless New Yorker, sizing himself up in a buildings’ windows. 

Now looking up toward the skies, 

it looks like five, no closer to six, the night is almost here, again. 

Not cloudy, it’s late. 

I slept way too late, I guess no food today. 

Still rubbing his face, slowing his pace to a walk. 

Boy, I was tired, but what I be doing is kinda dangerous, now that I’m thinking about it, I gotta find a better place to sleep, I gotta sleep somewhere so, no one will be able to just walk in on me, and find me sleeping on a table! 

It’s those rats… those dope fiends, and… 

Shaking his head, lunging deeper into his thoughts as he moved down the street pass the those on their norm, their customers purchasing then quickly walking off, to get that blast off, old newspapers on the ground lifting in the breeze, as a lite wind landed near the street, a soda can rolling along the sidewalk, wrappers and junk from past events laying dead on the pavement now trash, face down rite there, rite by a large garbage can. 

Hey, you! 

Turning around, a lady dressed in a waitress uniform is waving her arm, then he sees the diner, where she stood, it looked like a trailer home the kind, made of silver metal, a neon sign in the window glowing the diner’s name. 

Walking back to shorten the space between them. 

Yeah? He said in a low tone, wouldn’t want to scare her, I wonder what she want anyway? Got to stay on my toes just in case she make any foolish moves. 

I’ve seen you before, meet me in the back by that trash bin, move. She says a cigarette hanging from her mouth, fixing her hair, she goes back into this restaurant. At the back door of the diner, he waits and waits she finally comes out handing him a white paper bag, oil stains in a few spots, something greasy no doubt, but it sure smell good. 

Now lowering it from his face, smiling. 

Thanks! He says looking for a moment at the older woman’s face, her smiling, arms across her chest, white uniform, red pockadot apron. Come by again, like at the same time, tomorrow or so, it’s rough out there. Turning to head back into the diner then taking a minute to look him right in his eyes. 

And be careful, Son. 

This shakes him somewhat loose from what had him so, fixing her hair, her wig? One more time, then moving thru the door, it closes and then he hears the locks turns. 

Thank you again. 

He says to the closed door, wasn’t too sure he would return, well at least not tomorrow, but in a day or so, didn’t want to offend her, since she did give me a invite, and food, I can’t seem too easy. Smiling again, as he lifted the bag to his face, again. 

After finding a place to sit, eat and watch the people walk by on their ways to where ever they’re going, feeling much better after he finished eating, the food was good, and hot. 

What a nice lady? Entered his mind, as he sipped on some more soda, then laughing out like he heard a joke, What a nice lady? 

Now that’s funny! But where did I hear that? 

Taking some ice into his mouth. 

I wonder if there alot of them, here? 

Stilling laughing at his own private joke. 

maybe it was the feed that made him euphoric? 

A full stomach will do that to you, then without thinking he spits the ice into his hands, rubbing it together in his hands till it melted somewhat then rubbing his wet hands all over his face, his mouth, stopping for a moment to see people going and coming out… of bathroom! 

A bathroom has water, I should stay as clean, as possible. 

Heading for the bathroom, inside he does what he has to do coming out, a little lighter. 

Leaving the station it’s dark, darker 

he works at pulling to remove the floor boards, in one apartment he’d found in a nicer boarded up dump, sweat was falling in puddles from on his face, his shirt was already wet, there cleaning the space he was working in looking thru the hole from one apartment to the one below it, after pulling up two of the long beams of wood. I’ll be able to hang the blankets still looking. Here-an-here He hammered nails into the cloth on pieces of wood, to make a make shift hammock he would hang, from the floor of one apartment, in which would hang down into the ceiling of the apartment below it. 

How smart is this? 

Thinking to himself who would even look up? Plus it would just look like old dirty blankets hanging down, that all. Replacing the wooden boards back into place, to cover from where he hanged. Yes! Looking at his work, the perfect sleeping place, Now I can sleep alittle safer, Thank you God Sitting back against the bedroom wall. I gotta to find things to do, that’s what I got to do, meet more people, move around.. These thoughts warmed him. 

"Thank you, Most High for… 

That food I had tonight, from that lady at the diner, 

the shelter here hangin’ . . ." 

Pausing after reviewing his comments… 

"Oh please forgive me God of all gods, for speaking so 

disrespectful, I’m acting like 

I don’t know better… 

I’m sorry…" 

Clearing this throat 

"As the rain falls like tear drops from 

my Lord, the earth morns as I bruise 

the sky turn blood into wine 

they bit into my flesh looking 

for a question, but won’t answer I 

this illusion feast on fetishes as I 

slowly die, I feel the nails sinking in 

like those little needles 

when I wake! 

I hear my God speaking, but that’s my voice 

I’m hearing. 

Tatter and torn I hang… On 

I’m the nail in the coffin, 

the coin that’s gets thrown 

divine 

this clay I’ll no longer 

need to wear, 

for those who can hear 

let them hear 

I’d ripped the lie from those 

who pretend, 

there isn’t a place without me, here 

when the storm raged, I gave the calm 

talks about turn these limbs into alms 

No one notice me, yet they throw stones, but I’m not even here 

I’ve taken the enemies’ head and crushed it in a garden 

like I was walking on water, or thru the gates of Hades as 

angels sung, I took the keys 

oh, the wine I’ve tasted… 

isn’t any one to believe, 

in the last days 

murder me, murder me? 

Na! Na! 

I laid me down 

I laid me down 

Amen…" 

That’s my prayer. He smiles to himself, looking once again make sure the floor looked unaltered. And the floor board will also keep the rats out. 

I guess I was trained somewhere, army, maybe, maybe my Dad is a carpenter? 

Slipping into his spot, pulling the boards back, sleep came easy after all that work. 

ZZZzzzz… 

Moving thru his new design, replacing the floor boards, floating thru the walls, out the shelter, food, was on his mind as he exit the building. Using his unseen exit to the street, people were always about, those on the corners acting like they ain’t doing nothing, look outs posted everywhere, if those were mine? 

I would have places two over there, these recon units could see any forces in any direction… 

They were always watches out, eyes everywhere if not those blue outfit’s snitches, or the undercovered ones dressed in everyday gear, then it’s those dogs working for the crooked popos. 

It was best to stay away from all of them! I forgot some stuff but I ain’t dumb, you can see it, by the look their eyes. Warfare is all around me, I’m in a war zone, a detention camp, for real. 

What was it I heard that one time, somewhere? 

Oh, yeah create the image of your enemy, then use it like you’re the good guy, job creations. Uh, oh I guess I’d read that somewhere. Uuh? Shaking these thoughts away, I gotta stop thinking of this dumb shit, it’s all useless. 

Rubbing his temples, walking toward one of the feeding spots, so he could get something to eat. 

It had to be about what one? As he used a hand to block the sun as he looked up. 

A few days later… 

While in line at one of the kitchens, a servicing lady asked me why I wasn’t working? Looking me up and down. 

You’re young and it don’t look like anything wrong with you, but that dirt. 

Still looking at me for an answer. 

So I told her, I was in a accident and I lost my memory, and I was walking around lost looking for my family, my home. She stopped what she was doing looking at me all strange, then she continue putting the food on my tray, maybe I shouldn’t tell people all that? 

Ha! Who would believe me any ways? 

It was raining today, so after his noon time meal, he found a spot to camp in… In a full length mirror which still hung from the bathroom door in this unused apartment, in a unused building somewhere in the South Bronx, moving changing positions to get a better look, maybe he could see his father, or his mother maybe, somebody he could remember, if he looked hard enough. 

His body was thin maybe about 175lbs, but that was from all this training he was in, light brown skin, off a African family tree, he clued, his curly hair matted with mud, and dust from where he found his rest, burned out, old buildings condemned for any one of the many different reasons, they were. 

Looking even under the dirt, he had to be in his 20ies, no scares, brown eyes, nose, lips, he smiles, regular. 

Moving about broad shoulders which made his hips look even more thin, as his pants, sized 34, hugging down off his waist a old belt tried to help hold them up, cuffs covering most of his size 13 shoes, moving some more he’d been using a hoodie to cover his face. 

My eyes be giving away alittle bit, too much, plus they look so depressing, that kinda lonely sad, depression, you know the like I’m needy kind, like I need someone to talk to, the please be my friend kinda eyes. 

Ha, not me, I have no need for gushy, for emotional.. I, buck up. 

Looking around the once white room he sit in, peeling paint hung down from the ceiling, rust marks running along the walls, holes here and there, a pallet laid broken on it’s side, missing windows letting the winter wind blow right into this room, giving it a chilly feel, a Seraphim standing in the corner with it’s look of solemn earnest reaches out… 

He hears music from the street a rap tune, one of his favorite! He starts to hum along. 

I need a box! And? 

Some clothes, a good place to live, food! And? 

A girlfriend, a job ! Standing up looking out the window, raindrops everywhere, making sure he was not seen, speaking even louder. 

I need to make my life better! 

That’s the real move, everything else is… included! He sits back to think, make up a plan. 

The sky darken into tones of black and grays, as the rain continue to fall. 

Days passed from eating in the church’s soup kitchen to 

using the hammock spot, or in this closet he had found in a different building, about a click away from the first, where he could bunk in the top part of the closet, it was so large he could lay down flat, in a knot, plus he could lock the closet’s door with a iron bar he had found, and this housing had many exits so he could come and go without any one seeing him. 

His main thought was to stay as low key as possible, off the gird and out of the eyes of the local thugs, cops and good folks of these slum neighborhoods, till he can sketch out what to do, and until the weather broke in the spring. 

He moved alone mostly unnoticed just another homeless man in New York City. 

More days followed this day was brighter, a little warmer then the other days, it’s early morning, the laundry mat was empty as a lone man walks in, the lady who watches the place had just went into the bathroom, opening a dryer he pulls out one, two pair of jeans about his size, some shirts, and few other items, and leaves… 

Ridding the trains from the South Bronx to Brooklyn, then back again, all day long back and forth he sit in this warm train sitting there reading a newspaper, eating chips, no one even looked his way, so he read. 

Exiting it’s night again 

Under the street light 

people lining up for the movies, a crowd packed around in a semi circle watching a street act, walking pass a club, music pumping, pretty young women almost naked, standing in the cold, waiting at the club’s door so, they can get picked to go in. 

He walked on passed the restaurants, where those inside are enjoying a hot meal, drinks, he walks on and on pass there and the other places visited by those who lived the night life, he walked pass, hearing those same echoes. 

How long will this last? 

Crossing at the intersection against the red light, turning quickly onto a quieter street, less lights, less people, he continue his walk, his thoughts 

racing faster again, more questions. 

Pulling his dog tags out of his shirt looking at them. 

There are too many phone books, with too many names, the same as mine to even begin, this shit is hopeless, for real. 

Stopping leaning up against a building, he started to bang his head lightly against the bricks. He walks off, the tears fell warming his face, he pulls his hat down to cover as much of his face as he can. 

Finding his way to building number two down by the highway, making his way in, taking the stairs up to the top floor, pausing listening for any sounds, he moves to the apartment door pushing it open. Its’ so dark moving with his hand against the wall coming to another door, he turns the knob the door open, it’s cleaner by the smell, he walks in carefully not to step on or in anything. 

The moon is shining thru the windows facing the street, toward the back of this room he see his closet. Opening the door he steps in pulling it closed once in, he then climbs the lower shelf up to the top one, pulling his blanket over, this is his warmest hideout, pulling his knees to his chest. 

Zzzzzzz… 

In a cotton field, it had to be the in early 1800’s hundreds, America 

about 20 persons dressed in near rags, of African descent were singing while they worked, at picking cotton while a European looking man on a horse holding a gun in the nap of his lap, looked on, the sun was shinning down hot. 

One singer asked a question in song, 

Oh Lord save our souls, save our souls 

and others sung the answer, 

Oh lord thy will be done, thy will be done. 

Some just humming a ragged tune, calling out requests. 

A lady is carrying water, stopping giving some to one then another, she see a new man working the fields. She walks over then offers some water the tall black man, with curly hair and the brownest eyes, 

Excuse mister, wood yon sip a little water? The man looks at her and says, 

Yes, please. Looking around at the field they was in… 

New, here sir? Pausing to pull some of the water out of the buckets she’s toting. You don’t look like anyone around this here parts? He quickly drinks the water, the man on the horse was rounding the other side of the field… 

Yes, my name is… He answers. 

The man on horse blows his horn… Oh, that mean lunch time, bring your in your tool, and rest… She says as she and the other camp around a man who was building a fire. After while another woman came walking thru with this big bowl pouring batter on each hoe as they in turned held the hoe over the fire, some of the others were sitting down, as the water woman still passing thru with the cup… Others has caught rats from the field, and had them on different sticks over the flame, waiting for them to finished cooking, to eat along with their hoes cakes. 

Do any one have a good word, a kind word to ease our pain? Looking at her fellow workers, What about you new man? The older woman holding the water jar asked. 

Well I had a dream, The new man said 

One sings Yes, Lord! 

Let us hear. 

Please do tell. 

I could use a good story, a dream story. 

"Alright hear if you can hear, 

it was the night before I left Afraka and was brought here I dreamed, a dream and these are the words that were given to me, please listen 

As His wings unfold, let the truth be told I’ve seen what happen to the proud who goes against the throne, the ancient one standing by I though I saw him smile… While in the lower Heavens war is raging Rafael answers, 

No one was granted entrance, to the throne, now go… 

As the Morning Star asked again, him acting leader of these fallen spirits, was when The Most High, changed his name into Satan. 

I, now hear some other change their own names shouting out 

My name now is Grief, other cries I’m Agony! 

Another Mine is now Pain, then one yelled I am defeat! 

As these Angels came to demons, so they became… 

I remember… then… They fell on men, campaign like politicians pushing their own forms of realities, soul collecting I can still hear their leader sing 

Death am I, what have u done? Oh Morning Star? 

The rebel war on reality bred insanity from the souls of men’s feet to beneath the throne seat, the troops being co-leaded by the spirits re named Hate, Greed, Pride and Lust… 

Lost in the Robe of my Lord bending the light oh so slight to cause illusion to be dreamt, foolish blankets the minds of the fallen… hear now Death sings… 

Let the Serpent Sting, darkness reigns. 

Some injects What is that man talking about? Laughing This Boy is going to get us all into trouble, then the water woman hushed them with, Now you go on and finish this story, I want to hear, go on. 

Alright He says looking into their faces… 

"You see? The king smile as he moves from his throne beyond words spoken, 

I am moving into spaces not blinded by illusion… 

To put to rest these worldly test with Heavenly breath speak it into existence words of wonder to pull the sword out of the stone hearted to being an amazement to the fallen. 

To walk the maze of perfection, die for his creations, then retrieve the keys of Heaven to pass out salvation to all who believe are now set free, to see reality 

Who could have known or seen? Our King, how great is he… 

To return to sit on his throne waiting to give you, to eat, the fruit of your own tree… 

The question is where are you, among whom do you stand? 

R u for or r u against, for this is just the beginning!" 

Uuh! 

Waking looking around to make sure the door was locked and closed, slowing his breathing down, he calmed himself back down. 

Like Dad use to say did that dream have a commercial? 

The sun was bright in the winter sky, the clouds danced a crossed the blue, walking into the train station getting on the first 4, 5, or 6 heading toward the Bronx, reading the daily newspaper left by somebody, thank you. It was hard to read at first, the sentence structure made a lot of what they were trying to say so dark, I couldn’t understand, but with time it got easier. 

Getting off at this stop, heading toward the church to pray and maybe see one of the monks, he loved to see the monks it remind him of better times, different times on the steps he stops to make a cross on his body, looking up to building then saying. 

Look at the better Christian. Smiling as he enters, taking a sit near the door, looking at the art work of this inner space, his head drops. 

Visiting the lady at the diner, she had a bag of old clothes for him, ironed and everything, he almost cried. 

I said almost. 

In Washington Square Park sitting in the sun on a bench near, a woman in a flowery dress is playing her invisible violin. She very good, a lot people walking by dropped invisible dollars into her hat that she had placed near her foot. 

Sitting there watching her show, a shadow moves blocking his view, looking up. He see, it was that same kid he had seen before, moving around the park, it took a few days before he could figure out what he was doing. 

With his 

Nice clothes, new boots 

sometime he be grouped up with some other kids, pounds be going around, game plans be whispered, and then they be braking to different parts of the park, taking benches trying to act normal 

but 

they be watching everybody. 

alot of people knew ’em 

too. 

Young, older, dem slipping somethings to all of them… laying low, not like the others. 

You got a flame? He asked 

Uh no. I say. 

Sitting down. 

My names Vines, I’ve seen you around? 

Pulling some matches out his pocket, me acting like I didn’t notice, just minding my business. I’m just sitting here in the park waiting for the food line to open up at the church around the corner, 

him checking to see if I’m trying to move in on ’em or if I’m a cop, maybe? 

ha, I’m too dirty to be a cop. 

What you call yourself, kid? Making circles with the exhaled smoke. 

The last will be first, and the first will be last appeared in his mind, is that you Silences? 

Z… a… Then taking a pause I’m Za. 

Alrite Za, you cool? 

Oh, yeah I’m cool. Looking down to the ground, I don’t want no trouble. 

I’ll see you around. 

Yeah, I’ll see you around. 

I left the park heading to the church for lunch, I don’t know why I’m so nerviest, when I talk to people, it’s like I don’t know what to say, 

maybe I’m just sad, because I’m homeless? 

Manhattan town 

A few nights and days had passed 

walking into the port authority train station holding a plastic bag in which, held five smaller paper bags, he opens a station locker, putting the plastic bag in, turning the lock taking the key, leaving the station. 

In the local library in a chair he’s crashes for his mid day nap, out front of local supermarket posted by the doors, some on the exits. 

May I help you with your bag? 

Need help sir? Carry your bags, Madam? 

Some kids standing by the entrance. 

Can I help you when you come out? 

If you have any bags, I can help, for a dollar. 

Sir, can I carry your bag to your car? 

Sure kid I like to see a man, who likes to work. He carry it over, a big smile on his face, 

ready to get paid. 

Here. The man throws him a quarter, 

he lets it drops to the ground, looking at it. 

You can keep it! 

Walking off mad. 

The library will be closing in 15 minutes, 15 minutes. 

He could smell her perfume 

The Bronx city 

Walking thru a supermarket pushing a shopping cart full of food, meat, chickens, veggies in big bags, sodas, candy, he pushes the cart up to the check out, one with no one in front of him, the young cashier looking at him like Now you know, you don’t gots the money! Slowly placing the items on the belt, she starts ring it, up, at this point he grasped what he came for and bolted out the door, running as fast as he could down the block. 

The store’s watchmen, who saw the whole thing follow chasing after, dipping, and moving into the traffic, then cut across the street. STOP!! STOP!! 

The overweight guard yells as his wind ran out, Za was gone, back tracking 

himself, thru a alley up a fire escape into the apartment he had ready for this move. 

Well I guess I can’t go to that store no more But he was really hungry, taken bits of the dried meat, some cheese, then cracking open a can of beans. 

Now, this is some good mutton. He had pre plan just what he really needed mostly dried meats, cans foods, cheeses, a few loafs of breads, so while he piled up his cart, he placed these items in a bag on the rack, on the underneath part of the cart. 

Don’t eat too much, easy now, easy. He told himself packing the food up, then returning to the other building, storing his food in his hammock, putting the floor boards back into place, taking a sit, under the window’s still looking around the room, opening up a bag of chips, I’ve got to make moves or I’ll end up like that piece of wood, those ripped curtains. 

Certain lives where here to be lost, cost of it all, not worth what was spoken of… 

Chewing on a new beef stick, opening up the cheese, his head bobbing like he heard music, I guess it’s the food? 

Days passed, and things changed as they do… 

The day is beautiful, a clear blue sky, sitting on the top of one of his buildings, moving to a better position, he catching a whiff of himself, 

Not too sweet! Looking down at his pant’s rips, and dirty, These pants are done. 

Clouds floating bye, birds up on the roof edge singing, diving to the ground, then dipping, slipping up it goes, taking off his coat, to see thick mud on different sections, shaking it… Looking around licking his lips… 

Looking across the roofs. 

Everybody is out… cats, dogs, ants, even the sirens were out screaming calling out. Come to shore all you that are lost! Dark seas tips then rolls the many ocean’s inter works, currents and past due bills land here, hear the ladies calling out land here, I got a rock just for you!" 

"Look, you blue and red lights flashing, horns blowing on the inner calm 

fooling who to believe? Whom, man dressed as animals and animals as men who’s pretend at a grand ball show me all, hands mitten so you can’t feel it, standing butt naked bye a pool in the heights of winter… Asking for my number, two women here just like sirens pulling my attention from 

What’s present Oh, I must be dreaming!" 

Peeping about from where he sat, to see if any one was around, to hear, sometime he couldn’t believed what he could say or dream of, 

These clothes means nothing to me… Smiling to himself. 

Picking himself up patting as much dust off his pant as possible, he slips off the roof using the escape to the street. 

Some old guy sitting on a bag of clothes, smiling wider and wider as he got closer. 

Hey, Son bless God! The old timer laughed out the side of this mouth, slapping his hand onto his own legs, with his broad smile showing his inner feelings. 

You too… 

Sitting on the roof, the sun was out Za laying on his back 

Watching the clouds float bye… 

"Observing the people shift to their own vicinity of need attendance, up on the roof, they really look like ants dow, the sunshine over head beaming down bring a tan to all kinds of toned flesh, thought and ideas springing from the pure heart well, to be drunk till the belly is filled… 

Circles and wheels within wheels solar systems spins, trapping everything in, don’t ask me no foolish question if you can’t believe, don’t pretend, just go about your own business, and save some time before you’re in, before you’re in… 

Oh, how fine the shaft of the grain when met by the farmer’s hand, dropped as a seed, once back in the spring, buried under, watered, and fed, the warm soil and told to grow… 

Like leaves fall in the fall, just on say so, so they grow and change just like everything, so where are you? In the ground or falling from a tree? Spinning thru space or laying somewhere on a roof dreaming? Of becoming, you better be, to think not leads to rot, and talents wasted will cost you your, I’ve been told… So now you know here, and then, by one’s who love me so, they had to let me go… they had to let me go… ." 

Thank you, thank you. Acting like he was holding an invisible mike, and he had just made his remarks to a crowd of people, rolling over to his chest, pushing up to his feet, he brush off his clothes, walking over to the side of the building looking over at the city, the activities that happened to bind this group of human being to a set time, mindset, some say culture others dark training, did I lose all my earlier training become out of place, born grown, let’s start again and is the way everyone thinks? Dream’s speak? Why don’t I care for others then finding my way? Wanting to learn the truth meeting God, even to think I’m wrong to call The Most High a name is below… How can I name the nameless only a mother or father can name someone, but if one never had or never will, yet always was what do you say? I live inside my head, it real in here, out here is feed information which can be wrong, or if the wrong reference is applied the wrong vision is seen, what it look like to one person is different to another how is that? How can we all see something different when it right in front of us, the same item or idea? Which prove none of this is real, it what we think it is. 

Am I smart? Or dumb? Who can say? And we’ll looking at the same thing… The only true vision is the One who is outside of all of this, The Most High is the only one