Make Every Day Father's Day: By Being There

By Theodore Wentz

This was to be a book about a woman who literally gave her life to her children by helping to raise a number of her own siblings after the deaths of her parents by age sixteen. She then went on to raise all of her children by herself, but since her death in March of 2003, I’ve decided to write about the benefits of raising three of her grandchildren to complete her legacy. This is a book to help young adults understand that they can achieve their personal goals, be it educationally, personally, and as parents if they attempt to do it right and with good intentions. This book is to remind young adults that having children is a grown up responsibility that is not to be taken lightly. This book also helps young ladies to love and respect themselves, and to not allow themselves to be taken advantage of. It shows young women that you could grow up, get a good education, learn from your mother and father, and marry a mate who loves you and is willing to be there for you. To be responsible parents who are everyday people, it takes commitment, determination, and not to be afraid to listen to those who could help you. It’s hard for young adults to listen to those who could help, but as young people, it can only help you make your life better down the road. I’m sure that most young mothers, who decide to give their children up for adoption, wouldn’t if they had their children’s responsibility. As a young man, I wanted to give to my wife and children the things I didn’t get and that my mother and the thing that my mother received, while she was growing up. All young adults have to do is believe in themselves, and I believe this book can help them do that.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: May 18, 2010
• ISBN: 9781449057565

Theodore Wentz

What qualifies Theodore Wentz to write about being a successful father? Like our forty-fourth President, and millions of other children who were victims of being abandoned by one or both of their parents, this is an indescribable emptiness that will take you to your grave. In his case, it was his father who abused his mother, and his mother had to put him out for drinking and not being an example to his children. He'll never for as long as he lives forget her words “I'll raise these kids myself before I let you not be a positive role model to your boys”. His mother, to whom this book is dedicated, made the choice to do it alone, with five boys and one daughter from his father. She began working one or two jobs if necessary to feed, clothe, provide shelter, and raise them, believing in God and attending their local congregation and seeking the help of their elders in their congregation. In writing this book, he bring to the table a life long example of hard work, love for family, and a high respect for our most precious gift from God, our women. Theodore can look any young man and woman in the eye and tell them, with 31 years of parental experience, about seeing the value of being raised by a “be there” mom and that of his life experiences can help them be a responsible parent. No PHD of any kind could replace that wealth of experience.

Book preview

Make Every Day Father’s Day

By Being There

Theodore Wentz

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AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

Teddy Bear Publishing

PO Box 82

Mount Pocono, PA 18344

© 2010, 2013 Theodore Wentz. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/29/2022

ISBN: 978-1-4490-5754-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4490-5755-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4490-5756-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010900969

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Being There

The Challenge

Crystal and Shameka: Their stories

Jackie’s Story

Rodney’s Story

The Ruth and Tom Peterson Story

The Story of Ron and Tony Jr.

The Story of Miguel and Anna Rodriguez

Giving Back/Heroes

Hero – Lebron James

Special Note

Special, Special, Special Thanks!

Acknowledgements

Writing this book was a true mixed bag of emotions, memories of the woman called Mom, and what she had to do to raise seven kids herself, and the wonderful job her daughter-in-law did as a eighteen year old wife and a nineteen year old mother. We were determined to give our kids the best opportunity we can with as much love as possible. For Loretta to accept my proposal and marriage and the sacrifices of young adulthood was really a challenge. It was a job well done. To Lanard, Terrance, and Ashley, thank you. May you please continue to shine bright in this world, there is nothing easy about doing the right thing, but it’s the only way to go. To my many personal heroes, both men and women whose shoulders I stand, thank you. Again, to Harold my big brother, thank you for your leadership and the sacrificing of your youth to lead six of your younger siblings through the rough and tough sixties and seventies, while mom worked two jobs to see to it we had a roof over our heads and food in our mouths. We spent many a night wondering if we were going to make it from one day to the next. As phony as it may sound, I truly thank God. Only he knows how hard it was for mom to keep five boys and two daughters focused and in line. I remember on Thursday nights, she would march us, one by one, in front of our friends playing in the streets of Brooklyn and Queens going to service with our suits and ties on. May the readers of this book feel the passion of our experience and believe just as we did that the only person that can stop you is you yourself. Please don’t let it happen. Be a Be there Father and Mother, it’s not as hard as you may think.

Thank You

Theodore L. Wentz

Foreword

I wish young people could just skip over the years between 10-23… either that or sleep through those years. All that happens during that time is getting girls pregnant, hurting old people, stealing and fighting Shakespeare, A Winter’s Tale

When I was asked to write the forward to Make Every Day Father’s Day my initial response to my friend was I’m no expert on children. I am a doctor but children are not my specialty. He countered by reminding me of my rich experience as a mother, grandmother, an advocate for children/adolescents, in addition to my professional experience treating adolescents. I said okay. It is difficult to say no to Teddy.

Make Every Day Father’s Day, is a heart felt, common sense book with recurring themes that makes so much sense that one may wonder why any one thought they needed to be penned by a working class man, without any prior writing experience. Teddy would be the first to say he’s no expert on child rearing, but everyone who knows him knows that he’s had a lot of child rearing experience. He helped raise his five younger siblings, his older brother modeled for him, all this before he became a husband and a father. He has been a hands on Dad to his three children. His goal- never to have them experience the deep sadness he felt because his father was not in his life.

There are several points that are made using probably little known data that makes it apparent why Teddy wrote this book, aside from celebrating his beloved mother. Besides the fact that there are several thousand children in foster care and uncounted numbers in single head of household families, and thousands more in jails and prisons raised without fathers, it becomes apparent how a man raised without his father, watching his mother struggling to raise seven children became passionate about men being there for their children. Behind every statistic is a person with their own story, this is Teddy’s.

A few of the recurring, common sense themes, some repeated many times in different ways are very basic, but not followed far too frequently.

*Adolescents/adults, once you become a parent, it is your responsibility to take care of your child no matter what—that means both parents,

*Don’t have unprotected sex unless you are ready to be a parent.

*We all have choices, visualize the end result of the choice you are about to make, so that you will make the right choice.

*You don’t have to make all the mistakes possible …life is too short.

Learn from others.

*Don’t limit yourself, challenge yourself, stay focused.

*Education is the great equalizer.

*God, family and community are the formula for success.

Teddy dedicated the book to his late mother. As a religious person myself I would be surprised If Teddy didn’t have an occasional spiritual or emotional conflict; since the scripture clearly admonishes us to have no other God before me. You will feel the love, the admiration and almost deification of his mother as you read his book.

The world has benefited from her steadfastness, and devotion to her family. She raised five sons and two daughters without their father. The men in their religious congregation were often available to help her with the boys, but given Mrs. Russell’s beauty, I feel fairly certain they were willing to help with the children and any other needs she may have had. Her sacrifices paid off, not just for her children, but her grand children, and the community. In fact, the expectation, and admonition always was that one was to be a credit to your community. Part of the training to be a contributor to your community was to learn discipline. She taught her children discipline. She taught by example, working two jobs, maintaining her home, she taught them by reasoning, but when words weren’t enough she didn’t spare the rod. Oh, there are today’s modern parents who will frown on the rigorous discipline she meted out, and later her children used on their children as well. But the thing speaks for itself.

Part of her teaching related to respecting women. I have not read, seen or heard women spoken of with such reverence maybe ever, as in this book. We are a protected class.

This book contains information that many may say they already know. To know and to do are different. We need to know the principles, not only know but internalize them, process them then let them guide our way. If we do, we can even prove Shakespeare wrong. Children are not a problem that we should hope they sleep from age 10 to 23. They are our most precious resource. They need both parents, grand parents, the schools, the religious congregation, the village to nurture them. I hope this book will become required reading for adolescents so that every day in fact becomes children’s day, mother’s day and father’s day because we are all in this together.

Forward by Roxie Mae. Editing by Theodore Wentz.

Being There

It was the seventh day of March, 1979 Loretta had early morning labor pains. I took her to her mother’s house in route to work because the doctor told us during one of our visits that when labor starts, a mother with her first child would be in labor for four to six hours. After nine AM, I called his office and he said monitor the contractions. When they become every fifteen to thirty minutes consistently, and if they get stronger, longer, and closer together, bring her in. The doctor also wanted her to walk around as much as possible. Since I only worked twenty minutes away when I got the call, I left work and ran to Loretta’s mother’s house. Loretta was in true labor and surprised the doctor for being in true labor with her first child, and within four to five hours. The doctor wanted us to meet him in his office instead of going straight to the hospital, which I thought was odd. When we arrived at his office, Loretta’s mother came with us. This was her family’s first grandchild, and my families second. The doctor was away from his office delivering another child. While in the office, his nurse asked me to have Loretta lay on the table so when he arrives she will be ready for delivery. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours. I was never a heavy coffee drinker, but that day I was drinking coffee black. The future grandmother, who had a medical background, was getting restless. The doctor’s nurse kept calling for him, but his patient was having complications delivering which delayed him to our delivery. When he finally arrived, I thought Loretta’s mother was going to jump on the doctor. Little did she know I would have beaten her to it. He asked me to take down her garments while he was changing into his uniform. Portions of the Amniotic Sac were protruding, and as soon as the doctor broke the water, our first-born literally jumped out of his mother into the doctors arms. This was to be the first of three challenging yet great experiences; all three of the children’s births were truly a gift from God. I held our first born within seconds of his birth. While his mother was being stitched up, I was holding him in a blanket counting his fingers and toes, praying that everything else was normal with our first child. This was a young man born to a mother who was raised in a nice middle class family, three aunts and one uncle, a family who believed in God, and was a credit to their community. A mother who graduated from school six months early, began working