"Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words Can Hurt Forever": A Message from the Children in My Chair

By Trish Dennison

Every adult I have ever worked with has identified a broken, hurt or disillusioned child memory within; The Children in my Chair. Susie had an intense phobia, Lucy was a compulsive over eater, Valerie believed women are subservient and had no voice, Noreen grew up with a lack mentality and was always broke, Erin never felt good enough, Julie believed she was unlovable, Doug was angry all the time and Katie distrusted her feelings and hide them inside. How did this happen?

We are living in a world full of people living with shame, guilt, self blame, unhappiness, unworthiness, fear and obligation that was originally `put upon them' unconsciously by their mentors and role models in early life.

How we, as innocent children, learn about and what we come to believe about ourselves and about life are the teachings of this book. We've been conditioned! Conditioning begins with words we hear, think and speak.

This book is a simple call to presence for all because everyone was once a child themselves. Take this opportunity to; recognize your own conditioning; break the chains of the past; learn what it is to be present; and learn how to consciously use words that empower, inspire, support and encourage both yourself and the children in your life now.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 29, 2010
• ISBN: 9781449055615

Trish Dennison

Trish Dennison was born in 1951, the first of eight children to Kay and Frank Gowen. Employed as a Medical Laboratory Technician she retired in 1979 to begin a family. Trish was widowed at 34 with three young children to raise. The sudden loss of her husband catapulted Trish into a deep healing and ultimately an intense study and practice of the Body Mind Relationship, Universal Laws and specialized healing modalities. As she experienced greater health from years of debilitating allergies, deep inner peace, self acceptance and joy she wanted to share it with others and a new level of professional studies began. Founding Mindworks Ltd. in 1988 Trish opened the doors to Mindworks Inner Connections Health Center in 1991. Happily married to Peter Dennison for 25 years. Trish enjoys full family support and participation in following her passion to live a Softer Gentler Way. Her children are a legacy to her teaching. Trish is presently practicing as a Family and Personal Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Reiki-Master Teacher and Fire Master/Breakthrough Coach. Trish is also an International award winning Speaker and is in popular demand as a Keynote Speaker and Group Coach spreading   Recognizing that everything begins in the innocence of childhood Trish has a soft spot for the wounded child memories within us all and brings compassionate awareness and acceptance of 'what is' so we can move forward with self esteem and confidence in the present. A self professed `perpetual student of the Universe' Trish has a light hearted way of simplifying and sharing the wisdom in ways that relate to our daily lives.   Her vision is to break the chains of self abuse by living and teaching a Softer Gentler Way to think, to feel and to be.  

Book preview

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words can Hurt Forever

A Message from the Children In My Chair

TRISH DENNISON

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AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2010 Trish Dennison. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 11/20/2010

ISBN: 978-1-4490-5561-5 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4490-5560-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4490-5559-2 (sc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2010915075

Printed in the United States of America

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

A CALL TO NURTURE YOURSELF NOW

BE PRESENT AND AWARE

USE CONSCIOUS SELF TALK

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to two beautiful women who have touched my soul for an eternity, each one in their own way both a Mother and a Dear Friend. Their biggest gift to me was their presence.

To my Mother Kathleen Barbara Daly who guides me still from her place of rest. God bless you for giving me life and loving me through it, no matter what. You showed me the courage of sacrifice and truth. You encouraged me and gave me the freedom to find my own way. Because of you my biggest dream was to be close with my children and love them unconditionally and it came true. You taught me that the most powerful gifts of all are faith and forgiveness. Your simple stories of timely wisdom still echo in mind today. You are alive in my heart always. I love you.

To Ginko ‘Jean’ Yoshida, the most generous, serving, caring soul I have ever met. You exemplified the gracious life of a spiritually conscious human being. Your childhood joy and innocence inspired us all; your giggles ring in my heart daily. In your honor we planted a beautiful Cherry Leaf Tree I call Cherry Jean. It is a haven for many beautiful birds and I call upon the essence of bluebird as I sit beside her and meditate. I miss you Jean.

Appreciations

I would like to take this opportunity to express a special acknowledgement and heartfelt thanks to the brave children and adults over the years who trustingly opened their hearts and memories in my therapy chair to bring you these stories of discovery, forgiveness and conscious choice available to us all.

My heart has no words to fully express the gratitude and joy I have for my three uniquely amazing children Kevin, Angela and Amanda for choosing me as their Mom. To this day they continue to be the grandest gift of all time. They are my legacy as living positive examples of a softer, gentler way and the best teachers and support team anyone could ever ask for.

Special heartfelt thanks to my loving husband Pete for being a great Dad and role model of integrity and work ethics for the kids and loving us all unconditionally. I also bless him for his infinite acceptance, patience and trust as I traversed this journey of personal healing and growth and especially for his continued support as I continue to follow my passion and my dreams to be of service to the child within us all. Pete you are indeed my partner, my balance and my soul mate. I love you more each and every day.

No words can fully express the love and appreciation for my five younger sisters Constance, Gerri, Sis, Helen, and Cecelia and for my two younger brothers Chuck and Bernard who shared my childhood journey and enrich my adulthood in ways only sisters, brothers and fellow Parents can understand.

Hugs go to my best friends Pat Worobets and Cathy Barns who sometimes know me better than I know myself and love me always. You keep me real.

Ruth Breemer you are indeed an angel sent to role model and to remind me that I do deserve the best! Thanks for being a part of my spiritual family.

You all contribute greatly to who I am today and I bless you a hundred fold for being in my life.

"No man is an island." John Donne (1572-1631)

I have also been blessed with the best teachers and mentors on the planet in each of my chosen studies and I am eternally grateful to you all. To those select few who helped me grow in profound ways I acknowledge you here. Extra Special Thank you to:

*Leah Smith, you introduced me to the divine relationship of Reiki that freed me and changed my life forever. I embrace the Relationship and live into the consciousness and practice of Reiki everyday.

*Anny Slegten, you welcomed me into your world, the inner world of the mind, with Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy.

*T. Harv Eker you showed me what I am truly capable of and helped me to step fully into my authentic power.

*Blair Singer, you taught me the magic of stage presence.

*Cheri Huber, a Master of Sitting Practice, you taught me the true meaning of compassion and presence.

*Tolly Burkan, my Fire Walking instructor who taught me the full spectrum of paying attention and that commitment and follow through are the keys to success.

Mark Victor Hansen, you stimulated the author and entrepreneurial spirit within me through the Protégé program every Monday night for three years. I followed your lead and found my way.

An Extra Special Personal Thank You to:

My Editor’s: Jacqueline Ledet for your great advice and direction, you set me on my way. Angela Dennison thank you for all the hours of hard work, corrections, formatting and the shinning final touches. You are indeed my Angel. Thanks also to Cecelia Gowen for the last hour double checks. You both made this an enjoyable journey and helped me create a professional yet simple book I can be proud of. It is all about spreading the message

Thank you to Amanda Dennison for your continued partnership and participation with my workshops and for the grace and blessing you bestow as Pit Master in our Firewalking classes.

Bless you Super J for sharing Amanda so often and for the exuberant and joyful way you participate and serve our events.

Thank you to Angela Dennison for sharing your passion, your teachers and your own wisdom through the Inipe Ceremonies and blessing our land with a willow Lodge.

Thanks to Savanna Martinas for the creative personal logo that captures my essence of a Softer, Gentler Way and embraces the child within. I wish you luck with Zentera.ca

Thank you Kevin Anthony Dennison for always being there for me and for all the support and networking you do. Bless you.

Last but not least thank you to all those who read this book and open your hearts to explore a Softer Gentler way to think, to feel and to be. The children of the future thank you too.

Contents

Dedication

Appreciations

An Extra Special Personal Thank You to:

Preface

Author’s Note

Setting the Stage

CHAPTER ONE

Conditioning

CHAPTER TWO

You Have Impact

CHAPTER THREE

Inner Connections

CHAPTER FOUR

Good Feelings, Bad Feelings

CHAPTER FIVE

Role Model or Rebel

CHAPTER SIX

Early Messages

CHAPTER SEVEN

Words Have Impact

CHAPTER EIGHT

It’s Not Personal

CHAPTER NINE

The Voices of Self Hate

CHAPTER TEN

It All Begins with You

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Discipline: Punishment vs Teaching

CHAPTER TWELVE

The Power of Expectation

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Vision Boards

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Conscious Parenting for a Peaceful Planet

Bibliography

Recommended Resources

Preface

"If we took every child in the world and taught them to focus on compassion for one hour every week we could end violence on this planet in one decade. Dali Lama Maui, Hawaii 2009

The foundation of everything manifest is a word. Words can express a Declaration of War or a Treaty of Peace. These words begin as thoughts we think to ourselves. We think from the learned beliefs we carry inside.

We all say we want more peace in the world and in our personal lives. Well the good news is it begins with you. It begins with the words you think, the words you say, and the words your children hear today.

Peace begins with you and then blesses your family, your community and ultimately your world.

The message of this book is to simply pay attention, to be present and to be aware of the impact you have on your life and your world, especially the children.

In this book you will discover the true power and impact of words and thoughts and perhaps begin to more consciously exercise your power of choice. Celebrate, it all begins with you!

Being a conscious parent is not about the kids. It’s all about you being a conscious person. Family coaching is working with both the children and the parents. Kids can’t change until you do. You cannot teach what you do not know and live.

When we ourselves are conscious and present we can choose to be more kind, compassionate and peaceful and pass that on to our children by example.

The children we impact today are the leaders of tomorrow. Children are our legacy and our future. We can raise conscious, compassionate Peace Makers and save this planet from its present downward spiral of destruction. It all begins with you.

Author’s Note

Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness Eckart Tolle

When I consciously look back over the journey of my life it feels like I was destined to work in a healing profession.

As early as twelve years old I remember thinking, There has to be a gentler way to be with people. There is so much judgement, punishment, guilt, shame, prejudice and abuse in this world. I was raised in a large Catholic family and came to believe I was a born sinner and consequently lived with a big G for guilt branded on my forehead. I had witnessed so much emotional pain in the children and adults in my family, my school and my community, nobody seemed really happy.

I became a natural peacemaker at home and with friends early on and consequently grew up a people pleaser like so many of us have. I later learned that when we make an inner decision to keep the peace at all cost it usually results in a loss of our own inner peace and peace of mind.

I lived this ‘self martyred way’, with good intentions, until my mid thirties when the sudden loss of my first husband in an accident catapulted me into a deep healing over the next few years and I discovered where and how it all began. It all began with words! Words I thought to myself since I was a child.

As I moved through my own inner healing, with many healing modalities, I experienced greater health, deep inner peace, self acceptance and joy that I wanted to share it with others and a new level of studies began.

Living with asthma and severe allergies since birth I had first focused on learning about physical healing. I followed my Dad’s footsteps and became a Medical Laboratory Technician, an answer to my mind. My new studies now addressed the questions in my soul; How is this happening? How do we heal? and Is there a softer, gentler way? Everything I have studied, experienced and practised involves the intimate body mind relationship and the laws of the Universe, cause and effect. There is no separation. We are in relationship with all things.

With twenty four years of personal and professional growth since, I am presently practicing as a Family and Child Coach, Personal Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master-Teacher and Fire Master-Breakthrough Coach.

The basic foundation of all these teachings is; the mind body relationship; the power and impact of our words, our focus, our intention, our attitude and our actions.

We first learn about all of this as innocent, curious children. How we learn about and what we come to believe about ourselves and our life is the basis of this book.

If it all begins for us as children, I thought to myself, then why not connect with the parents, care givers and teachers of children today and together embrace a more conscious practice of living a softer gentler way.

There is a softer gentler way to think, to feel, and to be. We can resign ourselves to live with and go along with the way things are and hope for the best or we can choose to understand how it all works, understand our part in it all and make more conscious present day decisions and take actions toward a better way of living. This book can show you how. When you learn to be kind, compassionate and accepting of yourself you bless your whole world, especially the children.

In loving presence and service I present this book as an introduction to Awareness Practice and the true impact of your words, thought or spoken. It all begins with you being open, curious and willing to play along. Enjoy the journey. Trish D.

There are friends and family to lend an ear, counsellors teachers, therapists and books like this one to show you how to help yourself but the only one who can do the doing for you is you.

Be an active participant in your own healing.

Play along!

Follow my lead and find your way! TD

Setting the Stage

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me."

A childhood rhyme designed to defend against mean people or bullying. A brave front perhaps but no message has ever been so wrong! Names can hurt. Words can hurt. Of course they do. Why do you think a child reacts defensively with the rhyme in the first place? A child reacts because their feelings have already been hurt. Someone said something that they took personally and they feel bad. The thoughts they are thinking about what was said soon become ‘self talk’ that impacts the level of their self esteem, their confidence and their future behaviour. Words can hurt forever!

Self talk is the incessant inner chatter going on in our minds all day long. Over time we begin to believe that what we are thinking is the way it is. We come to believe what we and others say about us is true. We think all this with words. Words have the power to bless or to curse every moment of our lives.

Those among us, who know the power and impact words can have, know that they (can) create and color the world we live in. More and more we understand the impact and importance of what we are saying to ourselves and to our children. In this time of conscious spiritual evolution we can accelerate the pace at which we break the chains of the past; we can love and bless our children all the more as we learn to love and bless ourselves at even deeper levels.

As a Clinical Hypnotherapist I have had the privilege of working over the years with dear and wonderful people each and every