Take Time to Smell the Roses: Real Life Stories from Everyday Life

By Terry Crague

So often we hear someone say, I can't believe that this has happened to me.
I don't know what I am going to do. How do I go on from here. Someone wake me up, and tell me this isn't happening. This book will share with you stories of everyday people that had to face some of their worst nightmares, and it will tell you how they made it, and where they got the strength to go on. It will inspire you and help you to realize I can go on. God is not finished with me yet.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 7, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449712631

Terry Crague

I graduated summa cum Laude with a Master's and a PhD in Pastoral and Christian counseling. I am an NCCA board certified licensed clinical practitionter and professional Christian Couselor. I have been a pastor for thirty five years, and a principal of a Christian School. My Qualifications come from years of practical experience and hours and hours of counseling with and working with individuals and familis. I have learned from actually hands on experience. I grew up in Northwest Indiana in the city of Hammond, Indiana. I have been married to my high school sweetheart Chris for forty years. We have four grown children, three of which are married. We are the proud grandparents of ten grandchildren. (eight girls, and two boys.) All of our children live fairly close, which gives us plenty of time to be a part of their lives. I currently live in Aurora, Illinois about forty miles west of Chicago. I am a people person, I love working with and helping peolpe. I have learned that I really enjoy writing. My desire is to be a difference maker. To help, encourage, and strengthen those who are hurting, and having a hard time.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Happy Mother’s Day

I come from a pretty big family. I have four brothers and one sister; that makes six of us in all. We didn’t have a lot of this world’s riches and trinkets when we were growing up. But there was one thing all six of us knew we had in common; we knew our mother loved us dearly.

Mom had her hands full with six children born only ten years apart. She was trying to train us and help us to grow up to be decent men and women. Mom didn’t send us to church; she took us to church each and every Sunday, whether we wanted to go or not.

She literally gave a part of her life to her children. I can’t begin to count how many times the last piece of pie, cake, or even fried chicken would be there on the dinner table, and one of the children would ask, Mom, can I have that? I remember many times my mom would say, Go ahead, I am not really that hungry.

When I was in eighth grade, my mom needed to have surgery. She had quite a large tumor growing in her abdomen. We all thought that it would be routine surgery. We thought she would go into the hospital, have her surgery, and then be back at home in just a couple of days.

Things didn’t go well. The tumor was much larger than expected. It was pressing hard against her heart and lungs. It was the largest tumor ever taken out of a woman at St. Margaret’s Hospital in Hammond, Indiana, at that time. That is really saying a lot when you consider that my mom was not overweight and was only five feet tall.

As the doctors were performing the surgery, my mom had severe and life-threatening complications. Her heart stopped beating, and she went into complete cardiac arrest. We were told that her heart stopped for around three to four minutes. The doctors worked feverishly on my mom to try to bring her back.

Thank God they succeeded. But was it too late? Had she been in cardiac arrest too long? No one knew for sure. All we could do was to hope and pray.

The doctors met with my father and told him our mother had been a very good wife and mother. She had given him six beautiful and healthy children and fifteen wonderful years as his wife. When they said that, my dad asked them if she had died in surgery. They said she was still with us but that she had cardiac arrest. She was in a coma, and they did not expect her to live.

Then the three doctors said to my father, If she lives, there is a pretty good chance that she will be a vegetable the rest of her life. She probably won’t know you or any of the children.

Time would tell. We would just have to wait for her to regain consciousness and see where we were at. My dad stayed at the hospital while Mom was in the coma for three days without coming home.

I am the oldest of the six children. I was fourteen at the time. When our dad finally came home, his heart was broken, he was tired, and you could tell he was really going through a very difficult time. I asked my dad if my mom was going to be all right. He simply said, We need to pray for your mom.

Mom was in a coma for quite some time. Dad was at her side as much as he could be. I was trying to help with my younger brothers and sister. I can remember doing the laundry, ironing our clothes, and even cooking many of our meals. I had no choice. I had to help out and grow up fast.

About two weeks after Mom slipped into the coma, our pastor stopped by the hospital to pray with my dad and pray for our mom. Pastor Frink had been our pastor for seven years. Something amazing happened that day. As Pastor Frink stood at my mother’s bedside and prayed, my mother woke up and came out of her coma. It was an answer to prayer. To our family, it was a miracle.

But did Mom know anything? Had her brain been severely damaged when she went into cardiac arrest? No one knew. You can imagine how shocked everyone was when my mother opened her eyes and said, Pastor Frink, what are you doing here?

She knew her pastor. As time passed, my mom got stronger and better. To everyone’s surprise, Mom didn’t have any lasting damage to her brain or to any of her physical abilities. Truly, even the doctors agreed that Mom was a miracle.

We were very thankful. Mom’s simple response to everything that had happened was, I couldn’t die and leave you. I asked the good Lord to let me live and raise my six children. Mom did live and got to raise her six children. God was so good to us to let us have our dear mother for another almost forty years.

But then Mom came down with cancer once again. It was very sad. She wanted to live so badly, but God had another plan. We were told she would not live much past the start of the New Year in 2000.

We decided if it was going to be her last Christmas with us, we would make it the best Christmas we could. Mom had only one request: she wanted all of her children, their spouses, and all of her grandchildren to come to her house for Christmas. So we did, knowing full well this was her last Christmas with us.

We were all there, showing our mom we loved and cared for her. No one wanted to go home that day. We treasured each moment we had together.

The New Year of 2000 came. Mom was doing better than the doctors expected. Her birthday was coming up in March. No one expected her to be with us for her birthday. It seemed like that was impossible. But once again, she surprised all of us.

God was very good to us. We had one more special day to spend with our mother and show her how much we loved her. We made the best of every moment God gave to us.

Mom’s health was failing badly, but she was still with us. Thank God.

Mother’s day was coming. Could she possibly hang on for another Mother’s Day? It sure didn’t look good at all.

But guess what? She did. Mom loved yellow roses. They were her favorites. On the Saturday before Mother’s Day, I had the florist deliver a dozen yellow roses to my mother. She was very happy.

My brothers and my sister and I didn’t talk about it at all. An hour later, another florist came to my mother’s house with a second dozen yellow roses from my sister, Marge, who lives in Byhalia, Mississippi. My mother was too weak to move the vases off the dining room table, so there they were, two vases, two dozen roses, and the two cards from two of her children.

You might not believe this, but it is absolutely true. Without any of us talking to or coordinating with each other, five times that Saturday five different florists made a trip to my mother’s house. Each delivery was of a dozen yellow roses. Each vase was placed on the dining room table alongside the other vases. The third, fourth, and fifth different florists who came to my mother’s house asked her, What in the world is going on around here?

My mother was glowing. Five of her six children had sent her a dozen yellow roses for Mother’s Day 2000.

The Bible tells us in the Ten Commandments, Honor thy father and thy mother! How thankful we all were to be able to honor our mother.

It truly was a happy Mother’s Day for our little mother.

In Proverbs 31, it talks about the virtuous woman. It says her children rise up and call her blessed. Mom has been in heaven for many years now, but still today, we her children rise up and called her blessed.

All six of us are still trying to honor our father and our mother by living the lives they taught and encouraged us to live.

I wish that one more time I could pick up the phone, or drive over and visit with my mom, and hug her and tell her one more time, Mom, I love you!

If your parents are alive, why not pick up the phone or drive over and see them? It will absolutely make their day.

Chapter 2

Our First Son, Baby Land

This chapter was very hard for me to write. My wife and I share our story with you, hoping it will be a source of blessing, hope, and encouragement to all who read it.

I believe that every child born into this world is a special gift and a blessing from God. Only God has the ability to give life and to make life out of nothing. Psalm 127:3 says, Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

I’ll never forget when my wife and I were expecting our first child. We were very excited! Not only would this be our first child, but it would also be the first grandchild for both my parents and my wife’s parents.

I can remember my mother-in-law kept an accurate photo diary of my wife, Chris’, growing belly. My wife would stand sideways, and her mother would take a picture of her about every other week. My wife looked like she had swallowed a watermelon.

They went to garage sales looking for baby clothes. This baby had more clothes than I had, and it wasn’t even born yet. Back in those days, no one ever knew if they were going to have a baby boy or a baby girl until the baby was actually born. My wife and her mother had both possibilities covered. This baby was going to be well dressed for sure.

We set up a basinet for our soon-coming baby. I remember putting the crib together. We had a changing table that was well furnished with baby powder, Vaseline, A and D ointment, baby soap, baby oil, and lots and lots of diapers. My wife said, We have enough diapers for a year.

It was an exciting time. I came home from work one day and gave my wife a hug and a kiss, kind of side-winder style. As I hugged her, I thought she smelled like a Hershey’s chocolate bar, so I said, You smell like a candy bar.

She smiled and laughed and said, I have been putting cocoa butter on my stomach to help make sure I don’t get stretch marks.

I told her, I don’t know whether I should kiss you or take a bite out of you. Oh, the things we learned that first time around. I kept getting hungry for chocolate every time she walked by.

I can remember going with her to her doctor’s appointments. I remember the first time we got to listen to the baby’s heartbeat. The doctor told us that the baby’s heartbeat sounded strong and perfectly healthy. Thank God.

I remember putting my ear against her tummy to try to listen to see if I could hear anything. The first time the baby kicked, my wife said, Look you can see my tummy moving.

I guess every parent has been there, but that first time is something you just don’t forget.

One day I came home from work, and my wife and her mother were laughing and having a good time at the kitchen table. I said, What’s going on?

They were reading one of the many baby books they had, and they were looking at names for our soon-coming baby. My mother-in-law told my wife she wanted to call the baby Archibald if it was a boy. She said, You could call him Archie.

She was just kidding, but they were laughing and having a great time making up funny names.

The time went by. My wife got bigger and bigger and more uncomfortable than ever. She even had a hard time trying to find a comfortable way to sit and go sleep at night.

Soon the baby would be here. We couldn’t wait to hold it and see if it were a boy or a girl. It didn’t matter to us, as long as the baby was healthy.

During the night of June 29, my wife just couldn’t sleep or get comfortable. Something was definitely happening. She talked to her mother. Her mother wanted to be with her daughter. Her mom said, I think it is time to go to the hospital.

Her mom was going to drive us to the hospital. It was very early on the morning of June 30. We all lived in northwest Indiana. There are train tracks everywhere. Wouldn’t you just know it; we got caught by a long train as we were on our way to St. Catherine’s Hospital in East Chicago, Indiana. My wife was trying to get her mom to drive faster, but my mother-in-law would not speed. She drove all the way to the hospital at exactly thirty mph.

My wife was in labor. I thought, Surely this baby is going to be born in the car. Since this was the first for us, we didn’t know what to expect.

We finally got to the hospital. My wife was in full-blown labor. In those days, the women would go into a labor room. My wife was in the labor room, which was shared with another woman, the two beds were separated by a big curtain.

My mother-in-law was seated down the hall at a big, round table where someone previously had started working on a huge jigsaw puzzle. I kept walking back and forth down the hallway keeping my mother-in-law up