Planning Your Marriage: A Workbook Guide for Engaged and Married Couples

By Paul E. E. Sago

Most couples spend a large amount of time and energy planning their wedding, but give little attention to planning beyond that point, for their marriage. The purpose of Planning Your Marriage is to help engaged couples prepare for married life. The greatest amount of time, energy, and serious conversation of a couple preparing for marriage should be directed toward the marriage itself. As grand or as simple as it may be, the wedding takes only one day. Marriage is intended for a lifetime.

In this guidebook, author Paul E. Sago offers wisdom gained both in years of experience as a pre-marital and marriage counselor and in his own situation as a man with over twenty years of an extremely happy marriage. Planning Your Marriage originated as counseling toola questionnaire/workbook of seventy topics, created and used by Dr. Sago in his counseling practice and designed to aid engaged or married couples in improving their communication skills.

Be ready, not only for the walk down the aisle, but for the longer walk that comes afterward. Plan your marriage and be ready for anythingtogether.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jun 29, 2011
• ISBN: 9781462027552

Paul E. E. Sago

Paul Sago served fifty-two years under the broad umbrella of organized religion. He was pastor of four churches, vice president for three church-related colleges, and president of two universities, one being church-related. Dr. Sago and his wife, Donna, live in Oklahoma.

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Copyright © 2011 Paul E. Sago

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ISBN: 978-1-4620-2752-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4620-2755-2 (e)

Printed in the United States of America

iUniverse rev. date: 10/17/2011

Contents

Foreword

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Chapter VIII

Chapter IX

Conclusion

Our Commitment

This book is dedicated to my wife, Donna, whose love, devotion, patience and understanding has made our marriage a delight.

Foreword

Your marriage can be filled with comfort, joy, and the excitement of love that grows through the years; or it may be just another divorce statistic. It is your choice.

I was first married while still in college. Like most college juniors, I though I had all the answers necessary for a happy and lasting marriage. I had studied psychology, human relationships and theology. The truth is, I knew little about relationships and the bit of knowledge I possessed was purely academic. My marriage was a disaster.

I moved into marriage too quickly, and for the wrong reasons, in spite of the advice of older and wiser friends. At the time, I could not have sensibly answered Question #1, Chapter 3—Why do you wish to marry this person?

My failed marriage prompted an increased interest in marital relationships and I completed a Master’s Degree with studies primarily in psychology and counseling. Later, while working on my Ph.D., I continued studies in psychology and counseling and attended special programs in Neurolinguistics.

Now, my wife, Donna and I have been married twenty-one wonderful years. During that time, not a single argument—no yelling, no hateful stares, no walking out of the room while the other is talking. We strictly follow the Techniques for Communication as outlined in Chapter II and we are both convinced that no one wins an argument.

It is wonderful to wake up each morning, look into Donna’s eyes, snuggle a bit, and feel comfortably assured that together we can face anything.

PLANNING YOUR MARRIAGE was written after years as a pre-marital and marriage counselor. The questions and discussion topics are those used in guiding counselees to improved relationships. I am convinced this planning guide will work for you during your engagement or after years of marriage.

It is my hope that your marriage will be as wonderfully fulfilling as Donna and I experience daily. It takes planning, understanding, honesty, unselfishness, and communication. We both wish you happy planning and a glorious marriage experience.

Chapter I

The Engaging Process of Marriage

Engaged couples spend a great amount of time and energy planning their wedding. Usually in the excitement of engagement, very little attention is given to planning the marriage.

It’s a natural, acceptable pattern—boy meets girl, (or if you prefer, man meets woman), they date, fall in love, get engaged, set a date, and start planning the wedding. The bride is in a frenzy from the beginning. Perhaps her mental state may best be described by the