True Love Grows in Brooklyn

By Frances Ruocco

Fran has promised to help her granddaughter with a term paper comparing the differences between living in the twentieth century and the twenty-first century. As she writes, Fran can’t help but recall the memories of her life and of the events that shaped who she is. True Love Grows in Brooklyn narrates Fran’s life journey through the changing political and social tides of the twentieth century. She was born and raised in Brooklyn during World War II. This memoir follows her carefree childhood days visiting New York fixtures such as Coney Island, Ebbets Field, and Wolf’s Pond in Staten Island. It tells of her meeting Frank, the love of her life, and of their marriage and powerful relationship. It relates her internal struggles balancing her working life and her motherhood, raising six children. And this story addresses her grief when Frank passes in 1982, just eight days before their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Fran tells of living thirty-three years after the death of her beloved husband, knowing that their love will never die and some day she will be reunited in heaven.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jun 8, 2010
• ISBN: 9781450232913

Frances Ruocco

Frances Ruocco was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. She believes that our world is filled with Towns just like Brooklyn, where many couples find the love of their lives. They in turn raise their families, sharing happy and sad times, while believing that all they share here on earth is only the beginning. The best is yet to come.

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Copyright © 2010 Frances Ruocco.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-4502-3289-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4502-3293-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4502-3291-3 (e)

iUniverse rev. date:  01/06/2020

Contents

About the Author

DOES IT MATTER WHERE WE ABIDE?

Acknowledgements:

Dedication:

SHARING

Chapter 1   2015

Chapter 2   2007 A Very Difficult Year

Chapter 3   1941 My First Memory

Chapter 4   A New Neighborhood

Chapter 5   Changes for Better or Worse

Chapter 6   World War II and Other Memories

Chapter 7   1945 World War II Is Over

Chapter 8   The Wonderful Fifties

Chapter 9   Building Dreams and Sandcastles

Chapter 10   Early 1950s A Heavenly Time to be a Teenager

Chapter 11   Teenagers Enjoying Life

Chapter 12   Signs From Those Who Passed

Chapter 13   1949 The Back House

Chapter 14   Family Means Everything

Chapter 15   1953 A Passing and New Addition

Chapter 16   School Friends Always Remain Part of Our Memories

Chapter 17   Schools Out – Employment Begins

Chapter 18   Fran’s First Words to Fatty

Chapter 19   A Friendship Develops

Chapter 20   A Courtship Begins

Chapter 21   An Unforgettable Year 1955

Chapter 22   Problems Arise in the Relationship

Chapter 23   Love and Marriage

Chapter 24   Babies Bring Healing

Chapter 25   A New Neighborhood and our own Apartment

Chapter 26   The Plentiful Sixties

Chapter 27   Life’s Abundant Blessings

Chapter 28   Faith and Trust are Needed to Endure Trials

Chapter 29   Love Saturday Changes Our Lives

Chapter 30   The 1970s Bring Changes and Inflation

Chapter 31   Time Heals or Destroys

Chapter 32   Planning a Funeral

Chapter 33   Life Without Frank

Chapter 34   Healing Gifts Sent By God

Epilog

May all who dream of obtaining Eternal Life,

be blessed with having their dream fulfilled!

* * * * * * * *

About the Author

Frances Ruocco has lived in Brooklyn, New York her entire life. Like so many widows and widowers, she believes she will be reunited with her husband enjoying the gift of eternal life. Her faith in God and gifts received from the Holy Spirit have guided her and helped her as she used writing help her overcome every storm that entered her life until the sunshine returns.

DOES IT MATTER WHERE WE ABIDE?

Brooklyn, New York, the place where I live

To me it always has so much to give

The important things in life are found here

So many good people who know how to care

Give them a smile and your smile they return

Be it family, friends, or strangers on a train

Animals, trees, flowers, birds, even bugs

And of course, there are always a handful of thugs

Some rain, snow, the moon, stars and sun

Beaches and parks to enjoy and have fun

I bet it sounds just like your hometown

All over the world places like Brooklyn are found

So, does it really matter where we abide

As long as our hearts are filled with pride

Doing our share to respect the sky and land

Thanking God for the beautiful world given to man

Asking for guidance and wisdom each day

To gain lasting peace and have it stay

[© True Love Grows Stronger]

Acknowledgements:

Thank you, God, for all blessings. I know that names and faces change, but God always sends angels to guide me on every road I travel. At this time in my life my angels are Grace Murtha, Terri Noll, Karen Cigna-Schwartzberg, Donna Slivoski, Maria Ruocco and Maryann Witt. Thanks for taking the time to read this book, give heartfelt and honest suggestions and encouragement, which helped me decide to take the final steps in self-publishing my work. How blessed am I to have such a wonderful circle of friends that I can count on to always be there to cheer me on through all the ups and downs life sends my way!

Thanking Universe and all who have helped to republish this book, especially Arnold Ramas who has been extremely helpful and understanding with all the times we have had to put the resubmission on hold. Thank you and God bless you and yours always.

A special thank you to Toniann Clemente who said that when reading about Coney Island felt she was right on the beach with me and pleaded with me to publish this book.

Dedication:

To my loving parents, Frances Guardino Cigna and Charles Cigna, I know your reunion in Heaven was filled with tears of joy and laughter at being together again. We are sure you are planning a marvelous celebration of your Seventy-fifth Wedding Anniversary in Heaven. Hopefully the weather will be calmer as none of us will ever forget your Fiftieth and hurricane Gloria. We love you.

SHARING

A man and a woman sharing a life

United together as husband and wife

Tender moments filled with laughter and tears

Bringing them closer throughout the years

Fighting and kissing, growing in strength

Learning to deal with whatever is sent

Two special people, not divided, but whole

Joining as one person in body and soul

Their minds soon become so closely knit

She knows what he’s saying before he says it

Alone she is nothing, while he is so lost

They’ll sacrifice all, no matter the cost

For they need each other just to survive

Apart they’re both dead, together alive

Just as the sky needs the stars, moon, and sun

Man needs his woman because they are one

As in the beginning, when God created life

Giving man a woman to take as his wife

And how much richer their lives become

When sharing their love with everyone

Having it returned by family and friends

Their happiness grows, it never ends

[© True Love Will Never Die]

Chapter 1

43284.png 2015 43288.png

Fran was sitting in her favorite chair crocheting a baby blanket, which was one of her favorite hobbies. She crocheted so many baby blankets as well as lap pads for seniors and Vets that she lost count as to how many she made through the years. Everyone she shared her work with loved receiving what she created.

She was pleased with this blanket and thought, What could be better than creating something I love, then having the people I share my creations with, love them as much as I do.

Her granddaughter Toniann who was now living in Brooklyn was coming to visit in a few days. She was working in a Beauty Shop and going to school to become a beautician as her mother has been when they lived in Pennsylvania. She wanted Fran to give her a family history of how Fran’s life when she was young compared to modern times. Toniann sent an e-mail asking many questions about those olden golden days that Fran was always talking about. Questions about what life was like when Fran was a child, a teenager, married and why she never married again. Toniann had a whole list of other questions, which were too many to ask over the phone or by computer, so they agreed on a date to do it in person.

Fran smiled as she remembered how her grandchildren loved her homemade chocolate chip cookies and used any excuse to come over for some samples.

Toniann was turning into a wonderful young woman, she was five feet, five inches tall, with dark brown hair and even darker bedroom eyes. She was going to turn the heads of many young men. Fran hoped that Toniann would find someone as wonderful as her Frank. (Nicknamed Fatty because he was so thin as a child. Many of his friends only knew him as Fatty so I refer to him as Fatty before he got his job as Chauffeur at Home Lines Cruises. At first when his boss called asking for Frank, we didn’t know who he was calling for and then when I worked in the City, many knew him as Frank and if I referred to him as Fatty, they thought I was talking about two different people. Thus, whether I use Fatty, Frank and/or Grandpa I am referring to the same man who stood six-feet one inch tall, weighing one-hundred-eighty-five pounds, without an inch of fat on his body. Any other Franks will hopefully be identified as my friend, brother-in-law or nephew. You know Italian families; all have the same names.)

Fran was thankful for every second she was able to spend with any of her grandchildren since their lives were so busy with school, work and friends. She never stopped thanking God for her grandchildren and knows they are among the greatest blessings in her life. She also surmised there would be many requests for help doing reports comparing the differences between generations.

She realized that her grandchildren will even belong to two different generations since ideas and values changed every twenty-five years as well as our environments and the people we associate with, which also influences our way of thinking. Thus, the older ones will be part of one way of thinking and the younger ones would grow up with another way of thinking.

Why even she and Frank didn’t agree on everything and there were only five years between them. As for her and her children, as the dear Lord knows, they never stop disagreeing on certain issues.

Fran found herself reminiscing about her life since Toniann had asked her for information concerning the history of the families. So many memories entered her mind, both happy and sad.

She was glad she started typing notes on her computer, because her memory wasn’t as quick as it had been a few years ago when she helped Nicole with a similar project. She wondered why she hadn’t thought of typing the info down last time.

She also wondered why Nicole didn’t give Toniann her notes so she could copy from them. Then again, it’s better if Toniann asked her own questions, as similar as their thoughts were on some issues, on others they were like night and day. Nicole was another beauty. She was about the same height as Fran was, five feet four inches. She had her grandfather’s puppy dog brown eyes that could melt your heart when she was sad. She had Fran’s build, and some of the insecurities always thinking she was fat, instead of realizing she was voluptuous and sexy. Most of the grandchildren had Frank’s brown eyes, instead of Fran’s eyes which would change from green to blue to gray depending on what Fran wore. Nicole was also living in Brooklyn, going to John Jay College in the City and working as a waitress in one of the Restaurants on Fifth Avenue in Brooklyn. Although she wanted a career with the Police Department, she started babysitting until she was subbing at the ECC (early childhood center) and was hired as an assistant teacher in September of 2015. Sometimes she also dreams of opening a Day Care for Children. Fran always prayed that the Holy Spirit would guide all her grandchildren, so they all knew what Careers God wanted for them.

There was a big difference between the generations, when Fran was young if girls weren’t married when they were in their early twenties, people called them old maids or spinsters. Now age made no difference at all, people married at any age or remained single and no one thought anything about it.

Fran wasn’t aware that Nicole was also coming to visit; it was to be a big surprise. Actually, that would not be a problem. Fran or Aunt Maria (hereinafter Aunt Ree) would have cooked some pasta and meatballs or they would order some Pizza or Chinese food. Lately there were many times when Fran started to repeat herself and of course her grandchildren would say You already said that Ma as young people tend to do, but she could associate with that behavior. After all, didn’t she do the same to Nanny years ago?

Here it was 2015, and at the age of seventy-eight, Fran knew that she loved her husband more now than she did before he passed. The song After the Loving by Engelbert Humperdink entered her head. How true those words were! Actually, every love song was special to her and Frank and belonged to their love story, as neither of them really had any other serious relationships in their lives.

She then remembered that in 1982, at the age of forty-four, she didn’t think she would survive twenty-four hours without Frank and here it was over thirty-three years later. She thought, How quickly time passes when looking back.

Whenever she tried to look forward, she found it too difficult to do. She still couldn’t imagine living another ten or more years without Frank any more than she could imagine living without him in 1982. To survive, she had to learn to take each second of her life as it came, and she will continue to take each second of her life as it comes for the rest of her time here on Earth.

As she sat there, her thoughts returned to 2007, that was one of her saddest years and she still remembered so much of that year as if it happened yesterday.

She marveled at the fact that the human mind was able to remember past years so vividly.

2007 like 1982 was another year we should have been planning parties. Instead it was filled with brokenness, unhappiness and thoughts of how different their lives might have been had Frank not passed.

She continued typing on the computer as the memories passed through her mind, knowing it would be easier to organize her thoughts when she was done, especially since her mind started to roam back and forth. She or Toniann could copy and paste from one section to another and make corrections. She remembered when she used a typewriter, if she made a mistake, or wanted to insert a paragraph, she had to type everything all over again.

Fran thought, "What a blessing a computer is when used for the good of mankind

Chapter 2

43284.png 2007 A VERY DIFFICULT YEAR 43288.png

In 2007, Grandpa and I would have been married fifty years, or as I always say, we were married fifty years. The reason I say were married fifty years is because I believe Grandpa and I are still married and will be reunited in Heaven to share eternity forever. I’m not the only one; many widows and widowers believe they are still married to each other even after one of them passes into the next world. That’s why I never dated or married again Toniann.

I wish the religious communities invited couples who never remarried and remained celibate, to a special celebration just like those celebrated for all couples and religious who celebrate their silver and golden anniversaries.

Many of us lead celibate lives but couldn’t enter a convent or seminary because of having the responsibilities of raising our children alone. We’d be perfect examples that many people beside religious live celibate lives, hold down jobs, care for others and give to society, especially since some of the media and Hollywood tries to prove that normal people can’t live celibate lives.

Grandpa would have celebrated his seventy-fifth birthday in 2007. Do they still celebrate birthdays in Heaven?

No one knows for sure, but many people who lose loved ones say good morning or good night to them every day, while remembering them in special ways throughout the year, with a memorial Mass, fundraiser, trip to a cemetery, or just wish them a Happy Birthday and Anniversary.

I celebrated my seventieth birthday in 2007 and cannot help wondering if when we reunite will Frank have aged? "Can you imagine if he looks the same as when he passed, or will I look as young as I did when he passed or older than he looks? Can you imagine me going back in time? Are our lives timeless in Heaven?

It’s in the Bible that God’s time is not our time. Is a day a day or a year? Do we count time in Heaven? Will we find the fountain of youth that so many of us search for here on Earth?

Sorry Toniann, I know these are silly questions, but sometimes I cannot help the thoughts that enter my mind. I know I should be answering the questions you asked me, not have me give you questions to ponder.

After Grandpa passed, I read some books written by people who claimed to have after death experiences and saw a glimpse of Heaven. Many traveled through a long dark tunnel to reach the light and Jesus, the Blessed Mother or people they knew helped them cross over to the other side. Many souls claim they were angry they had to return but were told they had work to do. Most cannot wait to return to Heaven and agreed there aren’t any words on Earth to describe how beautiful Heaven is, everyone was happy, and they never felt so peaceful.

Some claim we won’t know each other on the other side, others claim they saw Hell, and only souls who still deny God exists when standing face-to-face go there. It becomes their choice.

Others saw souls in Purgatory who are thankful for our prayers, since not everyone believes in Purgatory and many souls remain there because no one prays for them.

As you know Toniann, I personally believe that praying for souls in Purgatory is one of the situations in life where we have everything to gain and nothing to lose. If prayers help, many souls gain freedom. Think about how many say, If I only had another five minutes to help or hold my loved ones, to just give them one more kiss or hug.

However, many won’t pray five minutes a day on the possibility that their prayers could get their loved ones out of Purgatory and into Heaven. So those of us, who believe, pray even more for those who have no one to pray for them. We aren’t hurting anyone; it makes us happy to do so and isn’t that what everyone strives for? Happiness!

I always give special thanks to God, for my surviving grandparents and parents who were religious and taught me to believe in love lasting forever or I wouldn’t have lived in hope of obtaining eternal life with my beloved Frank.

Some people throughout my life believed our marriage ended when he passed into the next world; others believed that I never moved on. They’re definitely mistaken, because I continued to work, volunteered, traveled and did all the everyday chores people all over the world do every day of their lives.

I truly believe he’s still a part of me just as I’m a part of him and nothing will ever destroy or separate our love. There was never any doubt in my mind that we became one in body, mind and spirit when we married each other. History has proven that some love dies while two people are still living on earth, but true love never dies even if one is here and the other is in the next world.

After all, Toniann, what percentage of married people truly feel more loved after twenty-five years of marriage than they were on their wedding day. We were so blessed in that respect. We were still lovers at the time of his passing. We both lit up when meeting each other whether walking down a street or meeting on a train station. Just like that hair commercial, where the woman and man are running toward each other and everyone can see the happiness on their faces.

Fran wiped a tear from her eye, yes, it was better if she did this writing now, because when she thought of her Frank she always got that far away look and people could see the pain in her eyes as she began to talk about him.

They say the eyes are the window to our souls, and just as people could see the love people have for each other, they can see the pain many people have when their loved ones have crossed over to the other side. Just watch a September 11th memorial and you will know what I mean.

Many years ago, I realized that there are certain events in life that I can remember as if they happened yesterday, even though I was only a child. However, when I look in the mirror, there is no mistaking the fact that seventy-seven years of my life had passed and there is no getting away from the fact that even if I live to be one hundred years old, almost eight tenths of my life is gone. My hair has turned pure white, I think I am shrinking and getting wider. Old age is creeping up on me, especially in my hands and neck and the way I walk.

I thank God for every day I receive the gift of life here on Earth. I also realize that many people don’t make it to my age, including Grandpa, but as you know, I didn’t always thank God for my gift of life.

Grandpa passed from this world to the next in 1982, eight days before our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary and seventeen days before his fiftieth birthday. As I stated previously, our family should have been planning parties, but instead we had a funeral and our lives changed forever.

Grandpa always said, Three days and it was over.

It annoyed me when he said that and found out nothing could be farther from the truth. Why in 2007, twenty-five years later, it still wasn’t over. Although there had been days in every passing year that were filled with joyful occasions, there were also days filled with sorrow and pain and today, in 2015, I still miss having him around.

I know all of our grandchildren missed out on the way he cheated when playing volley ball in the swimming pool, hitting the ball with his head or slamming the ball down so that the player on the other side couldn’t hit it back, and how angry I’d get at him.

You all missed seeing him float around in the pool in the back yard on one of those big black rims and none of us would be able to use it if he was in the pool. All of you missed being thrown up in the air and having him catch you while I’d be saying Honey, be careful. Meanwhile all of you would be giggling and lining up asking for more.

Everyone missed seeing him smile, or his cocker spaniel puppy dog eyes, just like Nicole has that can break hearts when they are sad. He would’ve taught his grandchildren that men can cry and still remain real men.

I understand that’s how the cycle of life works but couldn’t help pondering if it was just my imagination, or if 2007 just seemed filled with more sorrow and pain.

I kept trying to figure out if the main reason I felt that way was that Grandpa and I would have celebrated our fiftieth wedding anniversary, or if it was because there were so many other problems that our family had to face. Watching Nanny with Alzheimer’s and seeing loved ones separated or divorced and what it does to everyone, especially the children.

What I did know was that if it weren’t for my faith and trust in God, I’d never have been able to keep my sanity. Our family was broken in to a million pieces, and just like all the King’s horses and all the King’s men in Humpty Dumpty; we didn’t have the slightest clue how to put it together again.

I kept remembering that in Matthew 19:26 ²⁶But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Therefore, I again placed my trust in God believing that eventually all my loved ones would return to God’s open arms and receive His protection and abundant blessings just as I did in 1982 when Grandpa passed.

Boy did I need God’s help and angels then.

Every morning as I opened my eyes, I was extremely upset that I was still on earth. The radio was set on WPIX, 1010, Love Songs, Nothing but Love Songs and I could hear Dick Sommers say, Get up, this is going to be a wonderful day.

I’d then think, "Okay God,