The Verge of Psychosis: An Aspiring Actor's Journal

By Laesch Brian Laesch

The Verge of Psychosis is a look into the uncovered diary of delusional aspiring actor Trott Felipe, who chronicles his first year in Hollywood, pursuing his dream. Unfortunately, he's a $%#*&^@ idiot.

Trott's story starts off like that of any other aspiring-actor-moving-from-Iowa-to-Hollywood-type. You know stapling headshots to trees in Studio Exec's neighborhoods, attending mobile acting classes on short school buses, getting assaulted for wearing camouflage, and getting kicked out of Lakers games. But what makes Trott stand out in a crowd? Well nothing really, except for his mind, but not in a good way.

Trott's driven, yet clueless. He's outgoing, yet totally secluded. How do you become secluded in Hollywood you ask? Trott finds a way, just as he does with everything in life. But unfortunately, with all of the compromising, "open-mindedness" and talking to inanimate objects, he doesn't realize he is slowly slipping into psychosis...and things could turn fatal...for everybody.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Mar 27, 2007
• ISBN: 9780595865635

Laesch Brian Laesch

Brian Laesch hails from the great state of Illinois, graduated from Arizona State University and currently resides in Los Angeles. After writing ?random/funny? stuff his whole life, and spending two years pursuing acting in Hollywood, he knew he finally had the material he needed to write his first book ? seriously. More at www.BrianLaesch.com

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Contents

1 - How It All Starts

2 - The Middle

3 - The Voices Creep In

4 - The Beginning of the End

5 - The Ending of the Begin

Dedicated to the brave men and women who lost their lives … listening to the advice of scam artists in Hollywood.

1

How It All Starts

Wednesday, January 14th 2004:

Acting is everything. Making it my profession has been the only dream I’ve ever had. In a few days, I will follow that dream. I’m going for the gusto, taking a leap of faith, following my heart, not listening to the doubters, practicing the seven habits of highly effective people, and changing the color of my parachute! How? I’m moving to Hollywood, California!

Growing up, I always knew I was meant to be an actor. There were just too many telltale signs to ignore. It was so obvious „.at least to me. The moment I really knew though, was when I was 10 years old. I was sitting in my boring fourth grade math class, learning about multiplication or something, when I farted, really loud. All of the other students laughed, like, forever at my hilarious joke! That’s how I knew that I could do one side of acting: comedy! How did I know I could do the other side, or drama? Well, after I farted, Mrs. Zook was pretty angry. The whole classroom smelled pretty bad. I thought I was going to get into big trouble, but I didn’t. You know why? She never found out it was me! I acted as if I didn’t do it! She bought my performance and blamed the whole thing on this fat kid in the first row. He got suspended for two days! See!? Even back then I was totally sick at acting! It was at that point that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, I had a gift. My calling had arrived. I was meant to inspire and change lives!

So that’s why I’m doing it. I need to go to the place that nurtures all artistic visions, without bias or nepotism of any kind! I will no longer be known as the manager of Huck’s Convenience Store and/or the weekend manager of Menards in Orange City, Iowa. I will no longer be known as the son of a soybean farmer and kindergarten teacher (such lame professions). I will no longer be known as the proud renter of my parent’s basement. Heck, I won’t even be known as Tom Geiger anymore. Nope. My friends tell me Tom Geiger isn’t catchy enough. They say it doesn’t sound much like an MTV VJ, I reckon. So I will be changing my name for marketing purposes. I will now be known as: Trott Felipe. It’s such a movie star name! It’s the best of both worlds! The name Trott is totally hardcore, and shows how hot I am. The name Felipe (pronounced FUH-LEEP) will allow me to play all those weird foreigner roles. It’s perfect!

Let’s make one thing clear though: I don’t plan on just pursuing out there. I’m not going to just aspire. The word aspire isn’t part of my vocabulary. Aspiring is for losers. I don’t even really know the official meaning of the word anyway; and it doesn’t matter, because I’m a champion. I’m not just another actor. I’m Trott Felipe! I’m going to be known by every family member, in every household in the world. I’m going to set the world record for Academy Award wins with 27 Oscars throughout my career (including a Lifetime Achievement Award). I’m going to retire at 45, and be awarded an unprecedented five consecutive stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (all in a row). Sunset Blvd. is going to be renamed after me. Instead of the street sign reading Sunset Blvd., it will simply show a picture of my face, to signify what Hollywood is really all about. Soon, hot smokin’ babes will be partying on the [Picture of My Face] Strip … with me!

Sorry . I know I shouldn’t get ahead of myself like this, but you’ve got to understand … this is the plan I’ve had for my life, ever since the great performance I gave in Mrs. Zook’s fourth grade math class. Watching MTV and VH1 programming has only made the dream grow more! It’s definitely gonna happen! You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Nothing, or nobody, is gonna stop me ya’ll. I’ve got the acting chops of a young Russell Crowe, and a totally sick acting resume to back it up. Just listen to my stats: In a high school production of The Taming of the Shrew, I played all three witches; I’ve auditioned numerous times to be the understudy for a number of supporting roles in local Sioux County Iowa Community Theatre; and I’ve read the first half of Sanford Meisner’s book! I’m so ready! I’m seasoned. I’m a vet!

I’m going to document every step of the way in this journal, as I single-handedly become the greatest actor in the history of modern film (including the Romans). My real life starts today. Nobody gets me in Iowa anyway. I’m too artistic. I’ll show them all, as soon as I get on television. They are all going to feel so stupid when they see me on TV and realize how special I am. I’m going to prove everybody wrong! I am cool!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go. It’s my last day of managing Huck’s Convenience Store. They are throwing a going-away party for me. I need to get there early to set it up.

Thursday, January 15th 2004:

Excitement! I move to the land of dreams and wild aspirations in just two days! Hollywood! The place where, if you aim for the Sun, you just might get there … or at least land among the stars! Dream big! Take Chances! Follow your heart! I have $7,000 to my name; which is more than enough to survive in Los Angeles for a really long time. The next time I write a journal entry, I’ll be floating on a plastic raft in a pool, in between Scarlett Johansson and Gwen Stefani.

Friday, January 16th 2004:

Phew … boy am I tired! Gosh golly gee whillikers (popular slang used in Iowa), I just finished packing up my white ‘95 Chevy Astro Van full of as much of my stuff as possible. I threw away everything else. Haha, what garbage! Who really needs old photo albums or antique furniture anyway? Soon I’ll have the nicest things money can buy, and won’t need any of this crap anymore. Orange City, Iowa will be the dust buster to my trail. But for now, I’m a minimalist until I get to LA and book my first paid acting gig. I’m so excited I can hardly type! I just can’t wait to get out there! Cary Grant, James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Humphrey Bogart, George Clooney, Steve Guttenberg … just think … all of these classic big screen stars have cultivated in one town throughout the years! There is so much history .so much culture! Tomorrow I set sail. Tinsel Town, here I come!

Saturday, January 17th 2004:

It’s 8:30 AM, January 17th, 2004. Do you know where your Trott Felipe is? Bahahaha. (That was a joke.)

Except for my Apple computer, which will be strapped in the back seat shortly, I’m all packed. My ‘95 Astro Van is filled to the brim. I’m about to make a monumental, life-changing move to Hollywood, California (LA for short). My Dad, or as I like to call him, Trott Felipe Sr. (LOL! He never responds when I call him that. He just sits in his beat-up reclining chair, drinking Budweiser bottles, and watching VHS tapes of the 1987 Iowa Hawkeyes football team.) is at Soybean Farmer’s Expo 2004, and my Mom has to monitor Saturday detention today at the town high school, so neither one of them are here to see me off. They did leave me a note though. It reads, Good Luck. Make sure you stay out there as long as possible. You never know how long it could take. On E! Entertainment they say even up to 10 15 years. My Mom signed it. I think she forged my Dad’s name. She probably called him to tell him she was doing it though, so it’s not illegal.

I didn’t sleep very well last night. I was too excited. I’m pretty tired right now, but my excitement overrides my sleep deprivation. I’m hoping to complete the trip in two long days, but I may need three. We’ll see. I’m going to make a road trip out of it either way. I’m on no schedule. I’m free! See you when I unpack, Journal! The next time you hear from me, I’ll be in Hollywood … California!

Monday, January 19th 2004 (Martin Luther King, Jr. Day):

Hollywood, CA! I’m here! I’ve already found an apartment, on my first try! It’s small, but nice. I don’t have much stuff anyway so it will do just fine for now. I’m paying about $800 a month, which the landlord, Manny, told me is A steal in this town. You can’t beat the location either. I’m just north of Sunset Boulevard, on a street with tons of apartment complexes. I’m even right behind an In & Out Burger! I’ve heard so much about this place on the World Wide Web! I can’t wait to monster-style my burger. I’m near Hollywood High School as well. How crazy is that? I can’t even imagine growing up here, let alone high school. I had enough distractions at Orange City High back home with extracurricular activities, and trying to find dates to dances. I can’t even fathom attending high school with all of these celebrities walking around all day! How exciting! I’m sure all of this youth walking around will keep me feeling youthful and fresh too. In addition, with all of these apartment complexes on my street, I’m sure I’ll make new friends in no time. It feels so good to finally be here! Gotta go, Journal. I’ll be up bright and early in the morning to get my career started!

Tuesday, January 20th 2004:

I can’t just sit around and wait for the jobs to come to me. I’ve got to be proactive and go and knock on some doors. So I got up at 8:00 AM and started my day by going down to the newsstand on Hollywood & Cahuenga to check out the Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. I always watch E! Entertainment television and they always talk about these publications. I hear they always have all the latest entertainment industry news. There was a lot of good information, but I was disappointed with the classified section. The Sioux County Gazette always had a lot more job listings than these papers. And that’s in Iowa!!

I read quite a bit of the DVand HR though. The kid working the newsstand got on me about not buying anything and reading the magazines at the stand. I gave him the benefit of the doubt though; he is probably just stressed from his job, and probably trying to be an actor as well. Maybe we’ll even have a scene together someday in a major motion picture. Who knows! That’s the beauty of this town! LOL! © I bought the copy of Variety, just to have something around the house to read (plus it makes me look like official).

After that, I knew I needed furniture so it was time to head to the infamous Swedish furniture store, Ikea. Ever since I decided to move to LA, I’ve been excited about checking out the Ikea store in Burbank. We don’t have Ikeas in Iowa. It’s a pretty big deal for me, and for everybody back in Orange City, that I went today. I’ve been a big contributor to the Ikea Fan Message Board online for the past year. I’ve learned a lot from it. I guess most Ikeas are 10-stories tall, with no elevators. You have to walk through the whole thing, and find your way out like a maze. If you run into people in yellow shirts, they serve you free meatballs and corndogs if you know the secret Swedish password of the day. I guess it’s not all fun and games though. You don’t want to ever get lost in an Ikea store. Apparently, people hide in corners of the store, kidnap you, drug you, steal your stomach, and leave you for dead in a bathtub full of ice. There was so much crazy information on this Ikea Message Board. At an Ikea store in Paramus, New Jersey, a 7-year old kid was lost for three weeks. They shut down the entire store for a week, and had a huge search party, but never found him. Two weeks later, an Asian family was checking out a MALM bed frame and lifted up the mattress; there he was, frozen, still holding his $.49 ice cream cone, and reaching for a Swedish meatball stuck in the frame. Supposedly he still haunts the store to this day. Late night, when employees are closing up shop, they’ve spotted his ghost, jumping on beds, testing out reclining chairs for two hours, and waiting in the furniture pick-up area for purchased furniture that will never be announced or come out. Also, no matter how carefully they clean the cafeteria the night before, the next morning there are always Swedish meatballs splattered on the floor that spell out, AISLE 18 ROW F The weird part is that there is no Aisle 18, Row F in the Paramus, New Jersey Ikea store …

Turned out the people on the message board were way off; on most of this stuff at least. The Ikea building was only two stories „I think. Actually, they were right about the whole maze thing too.

Anyway, I’m on a tight budget right now, but I did buy a great futon, a magazine rack for the bathroom, and a few fluorescent-colored plastic bins. I don’t really have a use for them, but they looked really cool and were really cheap. I saw them on the way out of the store. I’m glad they were there. (I probably wouldn’t have gotten them if they were the first thing I saw in the store.) I even tried the Swedish meatballs. Damn, they were way better than the meatballs in Iowa, and that’s saying a lot because if there is one thing the people of Iowa pride themselves on, it’s their meatballs. Iowa Hawkeyes football and meatballs are pretty much what the state is all about.

I went home and put my futon together after that. It was tough. The instructions were in hieroglyphics. I guess there are a lot of Egyptian immigrants in Los Angeles or something. It’s weird.

Wednesday, January 21st 2004:

Well gosh golly gee jumpin’ Jehoshaphat! Guess what, Journal? I slept in today. I figured I probably needed to catch up on sleep after my long drive a few days ago. I deserved it. All I really did today was hang out by the pool and work on my LA tan (which is an essential part of becoming a working actor). I also took a walk down Hollywood Blvd. They have really cool shops there! I bought a black t-shirt and a black hat. They both have LA printed on them in Old English! They are so cool!! I’m officially part of it all!

Friday, January 23rd 2004:

Today was great! After leaving the GAP, I was on an elevator going down to the parking garage in the Hollywood & Highland Center. It wasn’t just any elevator though! Guess who was on it with me? Only one of the biggest stars ever! You guessed it … former Beverly Hills 90210 star Ian Ziering! Awesome! I used to love that show growing up. I was practically raised by that show. I’ve never been that close to an actual celebrity before! I’m really starting to feel at home in Hollywood. It’s so much better than everywhere else in the world.

Saturday, January 24th 2004:

I got up bright and early today at 6:00 AM. I didn’t want to sleep-in and waste any of the daylight. I felt inspired after running into Ian Ziering yesterday. I made my bed, organized the MP3 files on my hard drive, and researched the industry by watching E! Entertainment News. I even cooked a nice big breakfast of bacon, eggs, and hash browns. All before noon! I was so productive! After that, I did my laundry. There is a shared laundry room for the whole building. It usually has a blue combination lock on the door. I was never told the combination by Manny though. Luckily there was a lady in there. She was really smart. She was wearing these cool, black-framed, Hollywood-type glasses, and black Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars. I started talking to her as I held my laundry basket and waited for her to get her clothes out of the dryer. The laundry room is pretty much too small for me to do anything until she was done. She was hospitable though, so it made things better. I guess she is a screenwriter. I didn’t really recognize any of the titles of films she wrote, but it sounds like she has written a lot of scripts! Wow! She must be doing pretty well if she has written that many movies! She was really old too, probably in her 60’s, so she must have made millions by now! She probably just lives in this apartment complex for material, and has her real house in Malibu, or in the hills or something. Her clothes weren’t really that nice though?? Maybe all of her nice clothes that she bought with her screen-writing money were dirty. Yeah, that’s probably it. After all, that is why people do laundry. Duh!

I didn’t want to seem overly-anxious and bother her, but I asked if she had any advice for an actor just starting off. She told me her best advice was to check out the ads in the back of the LA Weekly, and the pages on the website www.Craigslist.org. She told me, usually, they both have a lot of job openings for actors listed there. I have no internet connection yet, so I couldn’t check out Craigslist.org, but I did go back to the same newsstand and pick up a copy of LA Weekly. On the cover, underneath the title, it read, The Bush Family Klan. There was an illustration of George Bush, Barbara Bush, George W. Bush, Jeb Bush and the Bush family dog, Spot, all wearing white Klu Klux Klan robes and burning a cross. I can’t believe they can put this type of thing on the front page of an actual newspaper! They must have different media ethics laws in Los Angeles or something. Underneath that, they listed other articles inside including: The All-Time Top 10 Totally Hip Democrats Who Party . and Care about the Environment! (Including Witty Commentary on Each from Local Struggling Comedians!). Under that; All Republicans Are Racists … No Explanation Necessary … Just Trust Us. I actually flipped through the magazine to find the corresponding article, but it was simply a single page that read the exact same words as the cover, in a really large blue font. That was it! I could have read the article without even opening it. Oh well „at least it informed me of some critical political information. I’ll have to remember it the next time I vote. I wish I could find information on registering to vote in California though. I don’t know how. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll do it later.

Anyway, the same kid was there, working at the newsstand. I took the LA Weekly up to the register to make sure it didn’t cost anything. He said, Wow, thanks a lot. You bought something that is free! Thanks for helping me out man. Now I can buy … nothing. I know he was being sarcastic and is probably a stand-up comic who was just joking around, but what does he expect? I’m just starting out in LA. I gotta be frugal. Maybe I should Google, How to be frugal. LOL! Get it, Journal? It’s funny because it rhymes. That was another joke. Anyway, someday that kid at the newsstand will come around.

Monday, January 26th 2004:

Funny story alert! I got up today and called an ad that I saw in LA Weekly. It was an ad for a modeling agency. They called me back five minutes later and set up an appointment to meet with me about doing some modeling! So I went to the appointment. I totally owned it, bro. There were about twenty guys in the lobby, all model types with professional modeling portfolios, and I had nothing, except for a picture of me and my buddies hanging out at Six Flags St. Louis four years ago that I printed from my computer this morning! All I had besides that was my resume; my professional career resume, not my acting resume. I was definitely the least prepared. But you know what’s crazy, Journal? I waited 30 minutes for my turn, got all these dirty looks, and after all of that, the people at the agency told me that I was better at being a model then anybody else they interviewed today! How funny is that!? They told me I just need better headshots before they could do anything. Now, all I have to do is go find a photographer and take headshots. They gave me brochures of a few places. I think I’ll call them tomorrow and see what they are all about. Then I just have to call the agency back, and I’ll be booking print jobs in no time! It’s that easy! I love this town! Who says unemployment is on the rise? Not for Trott Felipe ya’ll! I can’t remember what the name of the agency was. They didn’t give me a card. I’ll just find the ad in LA Weekly again sometime.

Wednesday, January 28th 2004:

Today sucked. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed with a glass half empty, and being all pessimistic. I don’t know what it was, but it was a little bit overcast outside so maybe that’s what put me in a funk. Maybe it’s just the air. Whatever it is, it has me feeling really low. I feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. There is so much to do right now, but I can’t really get myself to start any of it. All I can really do at this point is turn on my computer, watch the three channels of TV that come in, and play Nintendo GameCube. Although I did manage to pick up an unsecured wireless internet connection from one of my neighbors, so I’m getting free internet, courtesy of DougInDrag, whoever that is. It’s a really weak connection though so things keep getting screwed up when they load. It’s cool to know that one of my neighbors likes drag racing though. I wonder if he likes NASCAR too, like me. I’m sure we’ll become great friends and drink some brewskis, like, all the time. Anyway, I should be getting my own internet connection next Thursday from the required digital cable service provider in my neighborhood, Adolfia. It takes forever to get a cable maintenance guy to your place though. I guess that’s just how life is in the big city.

Thursday, January 29th 2004:

All I know about last night is—I woke up with a business card from a MTV casting director, the phone numbers of two girls, and the sun, slightly shaded by the palm trees outside my window, beating down on my face. Man, this is the life. I’m here. I’ve arrived. It’s almost like those Corona commercials—except in Hollywood. Hollywood playaz, man. I’m one of them. I’m a part of it all. After my depressed journal entry last night I decided to go out, loosen up a bit, and try to have a good time. I shouldn’t be feeling this down already. I’ve just started out here! So I decided to go out to this place called Dublin’s by myself. I don’t know anybody out here yet anyway. I tried to knock on my neighbor’s door but nobody was home … even though I heard the volume on their TV mute a few seconds after I knocked. (It must be on a timer though.) I pre-drank at my place first. I had about 5 shots of vodka, and 5 beers .I think. I kind of lost count. I went to Dublin’s and had a few Jaeger shots. I don’t remember too much after that (except thinking the place wasn’t very Irish), but I ended up getting phone numbers from two different girls. I think they were both hot! I don’t remember, but I think they were. Apparently, I also talked to a casting director for MTV since I got his card. I don’t even remember that! I’ll have to call him to see what it was about. The card had the MTV logo in the upper right-hand corner and read:

Matt Manchinni, Assistant Casting Director

MTV Networks

2600 Colorado Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90404 [phone]

Maybe he wants me to audition to become an MTV VJ! Man … I don’t know. I mean . I just moved to LA and all, but I’d have to move to New York if I got that job. Yeah, it wouldn’t have given me much time in LA, but it would be an opportunity I would have to take right? I’ll have to check it out later this afternoon. I don’t remember how I got home last night, but I did. From the evidence in my pocket this morning, as I woke up fully-dressed from last night, it must have been a good night.

9:30pm:

After my interesting morning, I got up, showered and called the number on Matt Manchinni’s business card. But, instead of reaching Matt, I reached some MTV receptionist who was chewing gum. She answered, and then hung-up on me as soon as I said, Hi, this is. I called her back immediately because, obviously, it was a disconnection due to faulty phone lines. (This same thing always used to happen back in Iowa when people would dig holes in the wrong places. Can you really blame them though? There is nothing more funner than drinkin’ some brewskis and diggin’ holes in the dirt on a slow Sunday afternoon.) This time she said, I don’t know who Matt Manchinni is, and no, I won’t date you so please don’t ask. Then she transferred me to the casting offices for MTV’s new reality dating show, Stale-Date. Apparently on this show they put you and five other contestants in an isolation chamber for a week, without showering, or the use of basic hygienic products. They only feed you fast food twice a day for the entire week. And at the end of the week, you go on a date with the Supreme Babe. Hopefully she will look past the fact that you smell like shit and are slightly lethargic from a lackluster diet to see your true personality, and fall in love. If she doesn’t like the date she is on though, she has to yell, as loud as she can, Get me another date, pronto! and shoot the losing contestant in the face with a paintball gun while calling him a loser. Then the next date comes out of the isolation chamber, punches the loser, in the stomach, and goes on a date with the Supreme Babe. The loser is hauled off in a rainbow-colored body bag, even though he isn’t dead. The catch is … she doesn’t know that all the dates have been in an isolation chamber without showering or eating real food all week, and if you tell the Supreme Babe why you smell like shit during your date, you are automatically disqualified, can’t date her ever again, and lose the $65.00 MTV pays you to be on the show. When the Supreme Babe, finds the date she likes best, she has the choice of either going on a date with him again, or $85.00. So it’s pretty high stakes. Anyway, nobody answered at the casting offices. All I got was a voicemail greeting with the details of the show. There was a beep after it though, so I left a message with my name (Trott Felipe) and phone number. Hopefully they get it. This show could be HUGE for my career!

Friday, January 30th 2004:

I was awoken this morning by a phone call from Tammy, MTV Casting Director for Stale-Date. They want me to come in for an audition Saturday at 1:00 PM at their Santa Monica Studios. My first audition in LA! They must have really liked the sound of my voice, considering they haven’t even seen a picture of me yet. This is so sweet! If I can get auditions from my voice alone, then I should have no problem getting auditions and booking jobs in the future when I actually have headshots! I just have to find the brochures that the modeling agency gave me. I can’t remember where I put them. MTV wants me to wear something hip and bring a lot of energy to the audition. I don’t know where I could actually buy energy to take with me to the audition, but I’ll ask around . just kidding! LOL moment! I spent the rest of the day preparing for my audition. I tried to remember some things from my Sanford Meisner Method Acting class in junior college. I practiced in the mirror for a little over 4 hours so I should be good. I also went to Supercuts to get a haircut. The lady who cut my hair told me not to get too excited over an MTV audition because it won’t really help your acting career that much. Yeah right! Whatever. She is just jealous, and probably a failed actress herself.

Saturday, January 31st 2004:

I’m wastedd! I want out tongith to celebrate my kick-asrs audtion! I wenat to the audition tody at MTV and nailed it! They lov’d me! I did my breathing excerssis-ers right befre I went in to the audtion and they paid-off! I got a callback that same day, today, and was so excited. I called my mom and dad at 5 am tooo tell them the good nws! I am supposd to go back in Mondae for a second taped audi-tionn! Awesome! Totally sick bro!!!! This celebration is gonner be shot-lived thou! I gotta pass ouf!Gotta prepre for my callback tmrrow!!!!! Wheeewww. Hollywood Mutha Fcka!!!!!!

2

The Middle

Sunday, February 1st 2004:

Wow … first of all, I’d like to apologize to you, Journal, for my entry last night. I was a mess. I was just having a little celebration for my audition at MTV. It went really well! I think they liked me. When I got there, I had to fill out a 20-page application, including a one-page essay on why I should be on the show, and draw a picture of myself experiencing one of my craziest party moments. It was no sweat though. They do this to weed out the actors who really want it from those who don’t. Basically, they separate the boys (most actors in Hollywood) from the men (me). After that, I waited for about a half an hour to audition. Apparently they wanted it to be realistic so they brought five of us in at a time and had us do our scene. We talked about embarrassing moments, drunken sexual encounters, hot chicks, and taking kamikaze body shots on Spring Break.

I don’t know who writes for this show but it was great stuff. Hopefully I get this gig and get to work with the writer again, whoever he is, because great writers can really make or break an actor’s career. After my audition, and before I left, I gave the casting director (who was a really hot, blonde babe) another headshot (printed picture of me and my buddies at Six Flags St. Louis), and also handed her a folded-up piece of paper with my name (Trott Felipe), and my phone number (unlisted of course) on it. It read, If you don’t want me for the show, definitely call me anyway. We can date. You are a hot babe. She looked at me funny, forced a smile and said, OK. It was probably just because I had already given the casting assistants outside my headshot. I’m sure it wasn’t because they don’t really need headshots for reality shows, or that she wasn’t interested in dating an actor or anything like that. The best part of all though? I got a callback from them this afternoon! Unfortunately, it wasn’t the hot babe casting director who called me back, but they do want me to come back for a taped, one-on-one interview. It will be just me, a camera, a casting director, and a bunch of personal questions. This is my first callback, and it’s coming about two weeks into my LA residency! I’m making great progress already! Fearless! I called back to ask if the hot babe would be the casting director interviewing me. They told me that she would not, because she has been moved to another project, and that her