After the Affair

By Elaine Lawrence Wynn, PhD

Why is it that we always think it will never happen to us? We tend to believe that we are the exception. Most of our lives, we dream of falling in love with the perfect man and living happily ever after. What actually happened to that concept or was it truly a fairy tale? Has life become so complex that it forces us to live an illusion? We finally find Mr. Right -- he is perfect. We are so in love with this man that we allow him to enter the deepest recesses of our hearts and minds only to discover that we are not the only love of his life -- he is sleeping with another woman.

This book gives insight on what to do when infidelity has occurred in the relationship. What happens after the affair has been discovered? It assists with working through vital stages of the healing process. Then you are given an opportunity to examine significant questions about your relationship in order to regain control of your life. Subsequently, the focus is on next steps within the recovery mechanism. Life is too short to live in deceit and too dangerous when a woman experiences an outburst of uncontrollable rage. She is a force to be reckoned with. Therefore, all battles should be chosen carefully. After all, the difference between sanity and insanity is relative.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Oct 27, 2008
• ISBN: 9780595634521

Elaine Lawrence Wynn, PhD

Dr. Elaine Lawrence Wynn is a certified Administrator and Family Life Educator. She has presented seminars and designed programs in the United States and the Panama Canal Zone. Her research and studies include: multicultural curriculums and counseling, families in society, internal dynamics of families, human growth and development over the life span, human sexuality, interpersonal relationships, family resource management, parent education and guidance, family law and public policy, family life education, children with disabilities, and educational leadership. Dr. Wynn is the author of Parenting with Ease, It Doesn't Have to be Difficult. Other publications include: "A Multivariate Reanalysis of Data From Parenting Behaviors: A Content Analysis of Situational Comedies Based on TV Fictional Families, (Schumm, Webb, Lawrence Wynn). Psychological Reports. 1997, 80, 1336-1338, and Teacher Morale in a Rural Georgia School District in Relation to the Likelihood of Remaining in the Profession.

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Copyright © 2008 by Elaine Lawrence Wynn, Ph.D.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

All scripture quotes are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Wheaton, Illinois, 60189. All rights reserved.

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This publication is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subject matter covered. It is written with the understanding that the author is not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader requires professional assistance or advice a competent professional should be consulted. The author specifically disclaims any responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book.

ISBN: 978-0-595-53394-7 (pbk)

ISBN: 978-0-595-63452-1 (ebook)

Contents

California

Nevada

New York

Texas

Before the affair:

Since the affair:

Counseling

Restoring Trust

Recommit to Each Other

You Gotta Love Him

You’re the Victim - What About Your Needs?

Why God?

To the Man After the Affair,

To My Family

Thank you for all of your patience, loving guidance, and support that help make this book possible.

Why is it that we always think it will never happen to us? We engrave this fairy tale scenario in our minds of marrying the perfect man and living happily ever after. Then when the time comes and we actually find Mr. Right, we think that he is infallible. We are exuberant and floating on cloud nine. As far as we are concerned, he is invincible and can do no wrong. There is nothing about this man that we would change. We put our relationship with him on a pedestal. Then we brain wash ourselves into believing that this is it – our love will last through eternity. We trust this man and have faith in our love. It is no coincidence that we found each other. The bond between us is like that of no other couple in the world. Our relationship is incredibly different – this man would never hurt us. We think about him constantly and dial his phone number every couple of hours because we have to hear his voice again. With every breath of air we breathe, we smell his scent. And when we are really whipped, we hear his voice and glimpse him in places when he is not around.

Why is it that we always think it will never happen to us? Of course we are jealous when he looks at another woman and do not let some female have the audacity to start flirting with him – our killer instinct will quickly come to the forefront. We have marked our territory. This fine man is spoken for and he had better act like it. Our burning desire is to spend every moment with him. When he is late, we get nervous and our mind goes into a state of irrational fear – Is he okay? Why hasn’t he called? Where is he? When we are together, we make each other laugh and life is extraordinary. The chemistry is so outrageous between us that it is