Desperate Enough to Win: Victory over Despair

By Laura Proctor

Desperation, hopelessness, despair, depression, absolute brokenness--words with which Laura Proctor is intimately acquainted. This shocking, and incredibly inspiring, true story of the authors horrific nightmare about the abduction and murder of her nine-year-old daughter, Christie, left her utterly devastated. Miraculously, Laura discovered there is life after tragedy! The authors fervent prayer is that the reader who identifies with despair and hopelessness, will venture with her into a life completely restored. A life of victory: oppression forever broken and the entrance once again of joy. The same total healing is possible for all who are desperate enough to win.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 24, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449708818

Laura Proctor

After the kidnap and murder of her daughter Christie, Laura Proctor endured years of confusion and depression. Her ascent from that abyss began as she peered from an airplane window at clouds and inexplicably was overcome by the Lords abundant comfort and promise. Lauras transformation is a journey of hope and inspiration we all can take to heart. Today, Laura Proctor is the devoted wife of Joe, a local pastor and she is also an ordained minister. The couple lives in the Dallas area and shares a blended family, three grandchildren, two dogs and many long rides on their beloved Harley-Davidson. Their greatest joy is serving the Lord.

Book preview

Contents

Acknowledgments

Prologue

The Beginning

THE INTERIM – Part 1

THE SEARCH

THE PROMISE

THE ORGANIZATION

THE INVESTIGATORS

THE FIND

THE AFTERMATH

THE TURNAROUND

THE REVELATION

THE DECISION

THE VICTORY

THE CONCLUSION

Epilogue

Final Words from the Author

Acknowledgments

Above all, I thank God, from Whom all blessings flow!

Thank you to my awesome husband, Joe, the evidence of things once hoped for and now seen. A dream come true. My constant source of encouragement and love.

To my precious son, Adam, who lived through it all with me and was, for many years, my sole reason for not giving up—thank you. Yours was not an easy path and I am so grateful for you.

Thank you to my strong and courageous mom, Lynette, and dad, Ralph, (who is now in Heaven), brothers, Greg and Mike, and sister, Cindy, for your unfailing encouragement, love and support. Many, many thanks to my brother- and sisters-in-law (Vess, Lisa and Liz) for their unwavering support and love. God bless you greatly and mightily. You are all treasures.

To Carol and Martyne: there are no words except I love you and thank you.

Very special thanks to the Big Spring Rotary Club who stood by our sides the entire journey. You exemplify all that Rotary stands for and the purpose for which it was created. God bless you.

To Cheryl Welch Hastings who helped so much in the final months to truly bring a dream into reality by her journalistic expertise and encouragement – thank you.

Many thanks to Steve Stoler, a news reporter who gave Christie’s story coverage when no other would. Your actions proved out your sincerity that the search for Christie must not be forgotten. I am grateful for the friendship we struck and you have my admiration for your own victory over life-threatening illness (you must write your book!). You were, and continue to be, a blessing.

To Ann Worley whose pro-bono efforts established the Christie Proctor Search Foundation and TASC, TASC board members Perry and Enid, Lee, Kenneth, Jim and Arthur and to my fellow investigators, Ginger and Gregory for your friendship, support, unselfish sacrifice and belief in the cause–thank you.

Sincere thanks and appreciation to the Dallas Police Department, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Plano Police Department, Trinity Bible Church of Richardson, First Baptist Church of Big Spring, Charles Pickett and Ernie Allen and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Missing Children Help Center and all agencies serving missing and exploited children. Keep up the good fight!

I wish I could list all the incredible people and organizations who helped along the way—family, friends, neighbors, news media, churches, social service agencies, truckers, truck stop managers, dry cleaners, printers, campgrounds, volunteer moms, dads and grandparents, co-workers, hospitals, and the list would go on and on of all who helped in the search for Christie. My undying thanks for your contribution to our search and believing with me that Christie was worth searching for until our search sadly ended in the recovery of her remains and we were able to bring her home.

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Prologue

November 1985: Dallas! Finally! I felt like a million dollars. I was finally able to fulfill a long-time dream and move from the small, West Texas town where my family lived.

Having been raised in the Air Force by a career fighter pilot, I have the distinct privilege to have lived and traveled in many wonderful and exciting places: Germany, Italy, England, California, Nevada, Alabama, Nebraska, Virginia, Maryland and Florida, to name a few. After twenty-two years of service, my dad retired and moved us to Big Spring, Texas to take over my ailing grandparents’ jewelry business. I was seventeen at the time and had grown up in or around very large, metropolitan areas. Moving to such a small town was a culture shock to say the least! I have since come to love and greatly appreciate Big Spring and the unique beauty of West Texas; but, such was not the case back then.

I was a senior in high school when my dad retired and I had very few friends. No one I knew had ever lived outside of Big Spring. To me, the small town life was stifling and I couldn’t wait to escape. I married straight out of high school, got pregnant within a year and was divorced by the time my first baby, Christie, was fifteen months old. Barely one year later, I married again and after three years, my son, Adam was born. By the time Adam was two, I was again divorced and feeling very trapped.

My sight was set on Dallas—a land of opportunity it seemed to me. The breathtaking Dallas skyline captured my heart. There was nothing more beautiful to me—especially at night. The uniqueness of the varied architecture was thrilling to see. The Reunion Tower Ball with its spectacular revolving restaurant, the green argon-lined Bank of America Plaza which is the tallest skyscraper in Dallas, the giant red Pegasus atop the Magnolia building, the majestic Renaissance Tower and, just to the north of downtown, the Campbell Centre gold towers on Central Expressway where so many of the famous Dallas television series scenes were shot.

I just knew that if I could get to Dallas, I could make some money to better support my children. I would finally be in an environment better suited to my personality and I could take advantage of all the great things a big city offers.

Being young and full of confidence, I quit my job as Office Manager at a manufacturing facility in Big Spring and set out to Dallas. Big D. I just knew I would be able to find a good job and I had saved enough money to live on for a couple of months. I had always heard that Richardson had one of the best school districts in Texas so I determined to live there.

My first stop was an apartment locator service that directed me to a complex off of Maham Road. In hindsight, the street name itself should have been my first red flag—its phonetic twin being mayhem. But, I was full of optimism and excitement and when I first saw the complex, I was smitten. You see, West Texas is fairly flat, brown and barren. By contrast, the drive up to the apartment complex was beautiful--huge, mature, green trees lining the drive and there were bushes and brightly colored flowers in the flower beds outside of the office. I was in awe.

The manager showed me a very nice, bright apartment with trees outside my balcony and it was a done deal from that point. Even better, the address was in Dallas, but the school district was Richardson and the elementary school where my children would attend was about a block away. It was perfect! I knew I was going to make it and my children were going to have great opportunities there!

Several weeks later when I actually moved in, the apartment they had shown me was no longer available and I took one at the back of the complex. It was dark and had the most horrible green shag carpet in the guest bathroom I’d ever seen but the manager promised she would change it. I hounded her for months but she never did.

Four months later begins the story you are about to read. In the twenty years following the abduction of my daughter, I have been urged by many to write about it. It is only now that I believe the story can be told in such a way that it points the way to victory—victory over despair.

One of my primary concerns in writing this book was being able to bring you, the reader, through the horrific events to the other side, the victory. What is important for you to see is the winning out over evil, the journey to escape the perpetual hole of depression and hopelessness and the ability to again find hope, peace and joy.

My fervent prayer is that you will bear with me through the hard parts—it is a difficult story to tell and a difficult one to hear. To be able to