Principles to Survive and Thrive in the Daily Challenges of Parenting

By Nancy McLoughlin

This book contains ten principals that, when followed whole-heartedly and bathed in prayer, will change a parent's heart and develop healthy, God-honoring children. Since parenting is not for the weak or cowardly, this book is a must for any parent who wants their children to acheive all God has in mind for them to become. These principals work in every situation a parent might encounter and with every type of child. If you follow them consistently and humbly, you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 18, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449706333

Nancy McLoughlin

Nancy McLoughlin, while attending numerous seminars on people skills, never received a satisfactory answer on why some people achieve success in life and others don’t. As she prayed, studied God’s word, and worked closely with struggling adults and children, the missing piece became clear. She discovered that many unsuccessful people share the same issue: a lazy mind protected by stubbornness. Ms. McLoughlin’s book describes a lazy mind, what causes it, and how it produces a stubborn refusal to engage in any kind of positive change that requires effort. Fortunately, there is a cure for a lazy mind, and Nancy details it in the final chapter of “The Art of Stubbornness.” Nancy McLoughlin, a retired school teacher and manager in a pharmaceutical company, lives in Augusta, Georgia where she currently assumes the role of daily caregiver for five of her grandchildren.

Book preview

Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1: Spiritual Direction

Chapter 2: Church Life

Chapter 3: Prayer Warriors

Chapter 4: Respect for Authority

Chapter 5: The Family that Plays Together Stays Together

Chapter 6: The Value of Education

Chapter 7: Valuing the Individuality of Each Child

Chapter 8: The Importance of Self-Discipline

Chapter 9: Consistency in Discipline

Chapter 10: Valuing Time Spent with Extended Family

Conclusion

Epilogue

Study Guide Questions

Appendix A: Ways to Know if I’m Growing Spiritually

Appendix B: Ways to Know if I’m Not Growing Spiritually

Appendix C: What are Your Entangling Sins?

Appendix D: My Name is Pride by Beth Moore

Appendix E: What is Fearfulness?

Appendix F: Antidotes for Fear

Appendix G: How to Learn Contentment

Appendix H: Learning Self-Discipline

Appendix I: Anger Management

Appendix J: The Sins of Irritation and Impatience

Appendix K: The Effect Stress Has on Our Parenting Styles

Appendix L: The Dangers of a Stubborn Will

Appendix M: The Role of Effective Prayer

Appendix N: Daily Focused Prayer

SMALL GROUP STUDY GUIDE

Prologue

I was raised in a large family with parents who had a strong desire to see their kids grow into fully devoted followers of Christ. This was no easy task given the small house we grew up in, cramped space being very conducive to irritation and arguing, and because of the limited financial resources my parents had available to them. Life was a struggle with most of our needs being met but not many of our wants. Also, there were few good books written on parenting, and even fewer people my parents could learn from who seemed to have figured it out. So, armed with their faith in God and their great determination to be successful in this endeavor, they embarked on a journey that had far-reaching influence on the next generations. Even though my parents weren’t perfect people and didn’t do everything ideally, they still did many things right, and I am a grateful beneficiary of their efforts.

As spelled out in the following chapters, my parents’ methods, while highly unconventional in this day and age, still provide much we can learn from. I have applied each and every one of these standards with great success in raising my own children so I know they work. Nowadays, I find myself in the position of daily caregiver for five of my grandchildren and, once again, I’m pulling from the tried-and-true methods of my parents, and finding them to work on yet another generation of kids.

Even though I separated this book into chapters, none of these guidelines are stand-alone items. All of them have to be put into practice and bathed with prayer to bring about the desired results in our children. God created us to be spiritual beings, and unless the spiritual aspect of our lives is in order, none of these rules works well. It takes daily guidance and direction from the Lord to know how to apply these principles to each individual situation (and child). After all, parenting is a scary responsibility with the potential for enormous consequences, both for good and evil, and no one should approach it lightly.

My theme verse for this book and for my life is Deuteronomy 30:19-20 NLT, "Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to Him. This is the key to your life." We have choices to make in the parenting realm that, if done wisely, may cost us our selfishness and great plans, force us to become humble, or drive us to our knees in desperation, but the benefits far outweigh the sacrifices. Who knows? Perhaps someday our children may even rise up and call us blessed! May God guide and strengthen you as you take on this great challenge and become the kind of parents a new generation is longing for.

Chapter I

Spiritual Direction

My parents loved the Lord and desired to follow Him in their daily lives. Because of this driving conviction, they taught us to revere the Bible as our guide book, and to turn to the Lord for wisdom and direction in life. My parents even went so far as to write Bible verses in the outhouse; believe it or not, we all memorized those verses and can still recite them to this day. After all, what else is there to look at in an outhouse? They also wrote them on the underneath side of the top bunk bed in the girls’ room. Perhaps those in the lower bunk bed were deemed needier of scripture memorization? They talked to us daily about the Lord and applied His truths and wisdom to the problems we were facing. They believed strongly in the verses in Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (NLT), "And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Okay, so it doesn’t say anything about outhouses or bunk beds, but my parents were creative.

My mom was a great teacher. She never lost an opportunity to use examples around us to drive home a teaching point, whether it was the importance of training beans to climb a fence instead of lying on the ground where they got rusty (she likened it to God and our parents training us), or a dog tangling with a porcupine and coming out the loser once again. She explained the importance of fleeing from sin, no matter how innocent it might seem because sin will always come out the victor. She made lessons relevant to where we were in our life; no high and lofty pontificating. Every Saturday morning after a wonderful breakfast of pancakes, we would settle in the living room for a time of devotions; during the summer when we were off of school, we had devotions every day. Sometimes my mom would read straight from the Bible and other times she read from a great set of Bible story books we owned. She and my dad would take turns discussing the meaning of the reading, and make application on a child’s level. We were encouraged to express our thoughts and opinions, too, and to ask questions; they told us there was no such thing as a stupid question. Then we would get on our knees and pray. Every one of us was expected to take part in the prayer time, and we learned at an early age how important it was to commune with our Heavenly Father. No one was ever made fun of for their prayers, although I’m sure my mom and dad had a hard time not laughing at some of the things deemed worthy of God’s attention. Because of my early exposure to this daily or weekly reminder of our dependence on God, I never got over my desire for time with the Lord each day.

My dad was also a great teacher and spent many years leading the adult Sunday school class at our church. In fact, he was still teaching it and mentoring others to eventually take his place when the Lord called him home at age 89. Even though he was a very busy man, he always took time to answer his kids’ questions and to teach us in the way we should go. I remember my confusion and frustration over what the Bible was saying on various subjects such as women