Ashes to Beauty: Rising from the Pain of Abuse to the Safety of Love in Jesus

By KK BERLIEW

Have you experienced the pain and despair of abuse? Has the pain in someone close to you effected your life? Do you feel alone, misunderstood or not safe? This book will give you hope, truth, direction and tools to begin a new and better life. This book is about healing from the pain, conquering the fear and resting in the love and wholeness that is possible. This book is for all who have had a broken heart and dissapointment. For all who want to understand the pain of someone close to them who is hurting and for all who need hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 21, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449713041

KK BERLIEW

I am an ordinary person, this an ordinary story. The Lord Jesus qualifies us to do the things we think we cannot do. He has opened my mouth and given me the courage to write these things and to share His truth.This is my story, an extremely personal account of events in my life. How the Lord Jesus Christ has always been and will always be molding and shaping me. Everyday He speaks to me in some form or another. He is my rock, my foundation in which all of my life is built. I was born into abuse, alcoholism, anger and betrayal. I am emerging transformed, rejoicing and forgiven only from the love I could never have found on my own. I have grown and fallen and gotton back up again because Jesus has given me the strength. I married , we have five children and four grandchildren. We live in Az. I love the desert and all it shows me in my life. How in the most unlikely of places there can be growth of something beautiful.

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Copyright © 2011 KK BERLIEW

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ISBN: 978-1-4497-1303-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-1302-7 (dj)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-1304-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011923134

Printed in the United States of America

WestBow Press rev. date: 03/16/2011

MAY THIS BOOK BE A BLESSING TO ALL WHO READ IT

FOR

AMBER, ANDREA, AUDRIANA, GARTH, YAVIHANA, TAYLOR, JEZZAVACYA, TATUM AND MIKOLI. MAY THIS BOOK SHOW YOU THE TRUTH AND GIVE YOU COURAGE ALL THROUGH YOUR LIVES

JOHN, I THANK YOU FOR ENCOURAGING ME AND BEING PATIENT ALL THOSE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. I LOVE YOU ALL AND YOU KEEP MY HEART STRONG.

Contents

Chapter 1 Mothers

Chapter 2 Fathers

Chapter 3 Exposing Lies

Chapter 4 Forgiveness

Chapter 5 Restoration and Renewal

Notes Section:

This is a story of courage overcoming fear, perseverance, hope and faith to go after what cannot be seen by the human eye, but can only be felt by the heart and spirit. May your spirit be encouraged…

Preface: This is my story an ordinary story. A story that I hope will bring the truth of Jesus’ healing power, even in the midst of deep pain and despair.

May this story open the heart and give you something you can carry with you always and forever.

At the writing of this it is 17 years almost to the day that I decided to take my own life. As this writing would show, the Lord Almighty had other plans.

As I begin this journey I am nervous, uncertain, and afraid of what emotion will surely surface. I feel the shame, even when the truth is shed upon such long kept secrets that are buried and hidden so deep within my heart and soul that to unearth them is a terrifying event.

It will be worth it to allow the Lord Jesus to venture where there is darkness. Only He can shine light on this darkness and show the truth. All of us have secrets of pain, things that plague us in the middle of the night.

These are thoughts, feelings, and secrets that lurk just below the surface of our hearts and minds, threatening to disrupt our everyday events and thoughts.

They creep in and attack unexpectedly, always when we least expect them. I do know that God is the only way to find lasting healing and freedom.

Following is one of the many personal things I felt the Lord speak to me in a time of worship to Him.

"Oh Lord my God, your smile beams in the early morning

sunrise. The gentle breeze is a soft embrace. As the birds of the

air and the animals of the earth rouse to the sunrise, we all are

in worship to you. You give me a song in the morning with the

sound of your forest. The soft embrace of a gentle breeze that

just says; "hello I am here and I love you. Will you walk with

me today? Will you allow the treasures I have for you to be

seen? Soon everyday of eternity will be spent like this, so

cherish and enjoy the small portion of my splendor that awaits

you on this morning and many thereafter." Quote by KK Berliew

This was not the type of closeness I had in my relationship with God for along time. It is an exhilarating experience when the Creator of the universe speaks things like this into your heart.

I come from a background of, sexual, physical, emotional and spiritual abuse. Learning to trust God as someone safe has taken me many years.

I invite you to retrace the steps of my journey and see how God can minister to your heart, mind, spirit and soul as he did for me. Jesus came and told his disciples, I have been given complete authority in heaven and on the earth. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Teach the new disciples to obey all commands I have given you, and be sure of this: I am with you always even to the end of the age. MATT 29:18-20

Chapter One

Mothers

"See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven. MATT 18:10

From as far back as I can remember approximately three years old, I remember lots of fear, yelling, hitting, confusion, uncertainty, lying and that I was always trying to find a way to feel safe.

I was born in California. My father was a hardworking, engineer, but he was also an alcoholic. He was a happy drunk for the most part, unless someone made him mad; then watch out! He was not a physically violent person; but when he was angry and drinking, he was verbally abusive. My mother was also an alcoholic, had a very short fuse, and was extremely unpredictable.

My parents divorced before I was three years old. My mother and her boyfriend, John, decided we were going to move to Illinois. I was leaving my home in California to go to Illinois with them. I also had to leave my daddy; it was hard for me.

When I was four, my mother and John married. I remember