The House on the Corner

By Michael Rains

For a long time, Chester, we... that is, Auntie and I and William, and well, a whole lot of people, well, we only sort of felt that something might be happening around us, something we weren't really sure what it was...

When Chester visits his Uncle William's stuffy house, he's only trying to avoid cleaning the hall bathroom. But a single clue written on a gum wrapper will send them all on a frantic journey - across many cities and through places unknown to society. At every step along the way, they may even meet new and interesting people. They may need a few cases of bubblegum toothpaste. And they may be tossed into a terrible war between unimaginable forces, a battle that no one even knows about...

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 18, 2010
• ISBN: 9781449701994

Michael Rains

Michael Rains was often commended by teachers for creative writing, even to having an award category created for him at a school graduation. "When drawing, I can never make a straight line," he says. "I guess I write the same way." After living on a hill at the end of Sylmar for nine years, he has learned to write books in the same way that a cactus finds water. If he found three wishes, one would be to see his favorite white cat that ran off.

Book preview

Part 1

A House On the Corner

Chapter One

It was a dull Saturday. Chester bounced a sock off the wall again, and looked at the clock. Almost five minutes had passed since the last time he looked at it! Last time it had only been two. Nothing was worse than a dull Saturday, especially in summer. Well almost nothing. Nothing except cleaning the hall bathroom.

Cleaning the hall bathroom was a job that required lots of nasty, smelly chemicals and scrubbing with the smelly chemicals until they most certainly had leached through the sweaty gloves he had to wear. If Chester came out of his room now, certainly he would be spotted and sent to the hall bathroom at once, for no other crime than being bored on a Saturday. He bounced the sock off the wall again.

Chester! his mum yelled from another room. Chester got up slowly and started out his bedroom door, to certain doom.

Could you please go take this bill to your Uncle William? she said, clutching a basket of laundry with one arm and handing out an envelope. It was a ruse, Chester knew. She would ask for something small usually, and then another small chore, and then before he knew it was too late...

Uncle William lived right down the street. He was kind of weird and Chester didn’t like his house very much. He lived with some other weird folks who were almost as old as him. But still, Uncle William’s stuffy house didn’t compare with the ultimate terror that awaited on his return!

Chester rang the doorbell many times. He looked around. The house was like many others in the neighborhood, but older. The paint had spots of dirt in some places and the boards were cracking. No one came to the door yet. There wasn’t much to do except look at the decorative plants beside Uncle William’s house, and try to see in the windows, which had little curtains on them. But Chester knew there wasn’t much to see inside, he had been here before.

Finally Uncle William opened the door and grinned down at him with his old, smiling teeth. He just kind of stared and smiled and smacked his lips for a moment.

Chester it is! What have you got me for? he said brightly, as if he had just won a million bucks from the sweepstakes.

Chester handed him the envelope. The old man tousled Chester’s hair and said would he like some candies? Chester knew what the candies were. They were odd little pastel balls filled with weak tasting chocolate. Chester didn’t really like them. But then he thought of the window cleaner bottle waiting at home.

The candy dish was still on the little table where it usually was, and Chester reached for one of the little balls. He hoped they would taste better this time.

Some of the other folks who lived there were wandering past; there was a short, spectacled guy with frizzy hair and some lady with a frilly pajama set.

Jeffrey? Have you met Chester yet? William said loudly. Of course he had, many times before!

How nice to see you again, said the lady in pajamas. She had a fancy English way of speaking, like the announcer for that cat food commercial, and sat down on the fusty couch by the table. Chester tried to concentrate on choosing which candy to eat next. Sometimes the light blue ones tasted better than the pink, he thought.

Ho ho! Chester my boy! said the frizzy guy, who must be Jeffrey, Chester thought.

We’ve just been discussing some things, he said, giving a wink to William through his glasses.

Oh, let’s not bother the dear, said the lady. Let him enjoy the candies.

Chester wondered what they were going on about. They were always weird.

Yes let’s not bother him, Auntie, Jeffrey went on with glee. After all, they are top secret things. Strange things. Things we’ve been working on for quite some time, we have.

See? Now you’ve got him all curiosity! the lady said.

Curiousified! said Uncle Bill happily.

Curiositified you mean! went Jeffrey. Hee hee! And he looked ready to dance a little jig with his slippers. Chester really didn’t know what to do except keep munching on the candy.

Now that’s enough, the lady said with suddenness. It’s time for Chester to get home of course.

Chester didn’t want to leave, at least not yet.

I don’t want to go yet, he said.

Why? Why not? Jeffrey said, leaning over. Have you got mumbers in your closet?

Or a dust mop been after you? William said.

I never! went the lady.

Or your teddy ran off? Jeffrey squealed.

I say, you two are... went the lady.

Or what? Come on, out with it! Jeffrey finished.

Chester looked up at them. Somehow it seemed they really wanted to know, they weren’t just kidding him. But his thoughts of the hall bathroom seemed stupid now.

Don’t leave us curiousified, said Uncle William seriously.

Curiousitified! Ho ho! Jeffrey said.

Really, let him speak, the lady said with gravity.

I just... it’s the ultimate terror. The hall bathroom, said Chester at last. He felt better somehow, saying it.

No one laughed at him. No one looked as if he had said something odd.

Oh... Ah... I see... said Jeffrey somberly. The ultimate terrors. There was no sign of mocking on his jolly face.

The ultimate terrors, William repeated slowly after Jeffrey.

I think it’s time we tell him, said the lady with absolute decision.

As if on some invisible signal, Jeffrey went and checked that the windows were secure and curtained, and then William went and ruffled inside a drawer, pulling out some various papers. The lady continued sitting on the old couch, mulling over some thoughts.

William brought the papers and spread them out on the small table, and pointed at some things with a stubby pencil as he talked.

Well, I started out with fripperology, but then I realized I needed something more analytical like stufferisms. Finally I arrived at the schematic B here, (there he pointed at what looked like a ridiculous mousetrap) and then with some difficulty I used the frippological calculations I had done before (here he pointed at a bunch of arrows, which pointed at other arrows and then back at the first arrows) conjunctified with some values from the table of mumbers, arrived at the schematic F here (and he pointed at something like a bionic toaster blueprint) which lead me back to my first clue, as I had suspected at first!

And then he took something out of his front right shirt pocket, very, very carefully, as if it were made of finest tissue paper. He unwrapped it slowly and laid it out on top of all the papers, smoothing out the wrinkles gently. Chester recognized it, it was a Berzerker Joe gum wrapper. It always had a funny little comic on it that was almost unreadable and sometimes not that funny. But Chester always liked the Berzerker Joe comics anyways.

Read the comic, William said commandingly.

It was a comic Chester had seen before actually. He often got some gum, and had a lot of wrappers himself. In the first panel Berzerker Joe was at a beach in his swim trunks. Then it ended with a joke about the salty sea, he remembered. But the paper was wrinkled, and there was a few dots of ink, and it almost looked like it just said, saltines.

Read right here, William said, pointing the pencil stub.

Hey, it says ‘saltines’, Chester exclaimed.

Exactly.

Chapter Two

Chester kept looking at the gum wrapper.

William continued. When I saw the clue, I realized that it was the saltines that were going to do it. I had to check three times just to be sure. And almost everyone likes saltines, at least once in a while, especially for a good bowl of soup. It was a terrible revelation.

Chester looked around at their faces. They were serious, even sad, and he didn’t think they were playing a big joke on him.

Jeffrey looked at the clock and then nodded to the lady. "Auntie, I