The Last Two Years: A Difficult Journey of Mind, Body and Soul as Seen Through the Prism of an Ovarian Cancer Survivor's Husband

By Arthur Marsicano

As the writer's wife fights advanced ovarian cancer, pancreatitis and possible liver cancer, they turn to friends, family and their very different religious beliefs for strength, support and insight.

During a dramatic two-year period their lives intersect with others experiencing tragedy, and they draw strength, inspiration and even joy from all of them-every single one of them. Jean Marsicano's life was threatened by ovarian cancer-known to many as the silent killer-and she was joined by her husband, her "Rock," as they focused on fighting the evil which had invaded her body. They counted their blessings, asked if their lives had meaning, and in the face of great adversity, they enjoyed life.

Jean survived The Last Two Years thanks to three physicians-"Pal" and "Mitch" who supplied support and direction when they needed it most, and Dr. Goodman, a brilliant young physician who delivered Jean's medical care with skill, wisdom and compassion.

As The Last Two Years end, they find hope in the face of continuing uncertainty and joy in friends, family and the beaches of South Carolina. And they realize "God was There," and will always be there with them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Dec 3, 2006
• ISBN: 9780595856718

Arthur Marsicano

Arthur Marsicano, B.S., M.A., M.Engr., D.Ed., retired in 2004 after forty years as a consulting engineer and Professor of Engineering. While at PENN STATE he received research, scholarship and teaching awards and has written for journals, clients and sponsors. Family, exercise and the beaches of South Carolina are his passions.

Book preview

Copyright © 2006 by Arthur Marsicano

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

iUniverse

2021 Pine Lake Road, Suite 100

Lincoln, NE 68512

www.iuniverse.com

1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of iUniverse or its affiliates.

ISBN-13: 978-0-595-41318-8 (pbk)

ISBN-13: 978-0-595-67894-5 (cloth)

ISBN-13: 978-0-595-85671-8 (ebk)

ISBN-10: 0-595-41318-8 (pbk)

ISBN-10: 0-595-67894-7 (cloth)

ISBN-10: 0-595-85671-3 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Dedicated to Lucas Fredericks

Born and died on Saint Patrick Day, March 17,2000

Pop Pop will always love you

AUTHOR’S NOTES 

Great care was taken to confirm all factual information presented in the book. However, there is one aspect of the book that is not entirely accurate. Individuals have a right to privacy; consequently, actual names were not always used. In some cases even the names of locations and organizations were altered.

This book does not contain medical advice! Nothing in this book should be considered a suggestion, recommendation, or endorsement of any medicine, medical procedure, physician, hospital, medical professional, or medical organization. The author assumes no responsibility for any medical action the reader engages in whether through self-care or under the care of a medical professional. Anyone suffering from cancer or any other illness should consult with a licensed healthcare professional for all medical advice and treatment.

Contents

AUTHOR’S NOTES

Part One

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1

God, Religion, and the

Spiritual World

CHAPTER 2

My Prism and a Greater Presence

Part Two

TWO DIFFICULT YEARS

CHAPTER 3

Pancreatitis and Medical Tests

April to September 2004

CHAPTER 4

Ovarian Cancer October to December 2004

CHAPTER 5

Chemotherapy #1 and #2

January to February 2005

CHAPTER 6

Chemotherapy #3, #4, #5 and #6

March 1 to July 18, 2005

CHAPTER 7

Six More Chemotherapy Treatments

July 19 to December 31, 2005

CHAPTER 8

Possible Liver Cancer and Pop Dies

January 1 to March 13, 2006

CHAPTER 9

The End of Two Difficult Years

March 14 to April 23, 2006

Part Three

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

CHAPTER 10

Our Families

CHAPTER 11

Grandchildren

CHAPTER 12

Mind, Body, and Soul (MBS)

CHAPTER 13

What will the Future Bring for Jean and her Rock?

Part Four

PARTING WORDS

CHAPTER 14

It is OK to be Happy

During Times of Pain

CHAPTER 15

Death Comes to Us All;

It Is a Part of Life

CHAPTER 16

Strength, Joy and Peace from Nature and from Others

CHAPTER 17

Final Comments

Part One

INTRODUCTION 

The last two years have been very difficult for my family. During this time my father died after a long period during which his health slowly, but continually, declined. Simultaneously, my wife of forty years experienced a series of serious medical problems, including cancer. After my father’s death, I felt a need to write a description of the journey my wife and I had taken over the last two years. But this was not a journey in any conventional sense. It was a difficult and painful journey of the mind, body, and soul that we took along the same path in the physical world while we traveled separately with understanding and compassion for each other, in the more complex and equally important worlds of the mind and soul.

I am writing this book because I recognize that many people and many families also face times of deep despair. The path my wife and I traveled is described in this book and should provide those who read it with comfort and some useful insights when they find themselves on their own difficult journey of the mind, body, and soul.

CHAPTER 1

God, Religion, and the

Spiritual World 

This book presents a true account of a two-year period in the life of a cancer survivor—my wife Jean Marsicano. I was with her during the entire period, sharing the emotions and the drama that was played out. While the book focuses on events in Jean’s life, other family members, friends and dear souls Jean and I came into contact with were also facing life-altering experiences. It was not a typical two year period … not by any stretch of the imagination. So much happened that it was difficult—no impossible—to present all of the emotions and "cross currents of events" that took place.

Jean and I have had strong but different views about God, religion and the spiritual world from the time we were married to the present. Like most people, we "took God for granted." Faced with the certainty of my father’s death and the possibility of Jean’s, we focused as never before on God. We hoped, we prayed, we cried, and we talked frequently about God, death and life after death. We also considered our lives. Did we accomplish anything of value? Did our lives have meaning?

I am not a religious person, at least not in any traditional sense. However, the search for God and things spiritual in nature are

extremely important to me; but organized religion is less important. I have enormous respect for all religions, not just the one I belong to, but I do not feel obligated to accept the teachings or beliefs of any of them. I believe what I believe! My views are complex and unique, and they created difficulty for me as I wrote this book. I know there are inconsistencies and biases in my opinions and beliefs regarding all things spiritual, and this will be obvious to the reader. I simply can not separate my beliefs from my writing. Consequently, it would be difficult to appreciate this book without some understanding of how my spiritual beliefs and views evolved. Recognizing this, I wrote the next page and offer it for your consideration God Was There….

God Was There

At the beginning of the long march of history, humanity searched for the meaning of its existence and found God, an eternal presence greater than all that was.

Four thousand years ago God was there when the most enduring of religions began in a region that came to be known as the Holy Lands.

God was there when the Romans crucified a holy man and when his followers spread his teachings and the record of his life and death.

God was there when Mohammed wrote the inspired words of the Koran and with those who spread Islam across Africa and the Middle East. And God was there as Islam threatened Christian Europe.

God was there when the Christian world discovered and seized the New World, and God was there when Christians destroyed the cultures of that world, and did it in the name of Christ.

God was there when a great man said, This nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom as part of an address that has inspired many as it echoes through the ages.

God was there in the heart and soul of Mahatma Gandhi when he organized a brilliant non-violent resistance against British occupation of his beloved India and when he said:

I consider myself a Hindu, Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist and Confucian.

God was there as the world built by Communist atheists collapsed when confronted by a courageous demand for justice relentlessly pursued by three men of God: a Pope who will one day be a saint, an American President who loved to smile, and a humble Polish union member. Earlier, God was there as the Pope and the President miraculously survived assassin bullets.

God was there when Islamic terrorists murdered 3,000 innocent people on American soil. Their God was a God of Hate that has never been able to defeat the God of Love.

God was there. God will always be there. Cultures that fail to accept this will decline, and individuals who ignore the possibility of God will be unable to appreciate the joys of life and endure the pain and sorrow we must all experience.

God and the Long March of History

Throughout history humanity’s search for God played an essential role that continues to this day. Christian Europe was threatened and contained by Islam until the discovery of the New World allowed Europe and Christianity to expand and increase its power at the expense of Islam and the rest of the world. Christianity was the essential ingredient utilized by the nations of Europe to gain control of most of North and South America initially and later most of the rest of the world. For many years, it was correctly said, The Sun Never Sets on The British Empire. Obviously the British were not the only Europeans to colonize and exploit the rest of humanity, but they did it more effectively than the rest of Europe. Domination of much of the world by the Christian nations of Europe began around 1600 AD and did not end for more than 300 years; indeed some vestiges of it exist even today.

The Long March of History can not be appreciated without an understanding of humanity’s search for God. Similarly, this book can not be understood without an appreciation of how the central players in the book relate to God, religion or a presence in the universe greater than all of humanity. This book deals with a period of despair faced by an entire family. During such times many people turn to God and religion, as was the case with my family. People view and utilize God and religion in very different ways to ease their pain. Surprisingly, even those who are atheists may be forced to confront spiritual issues because the people around them may insist they make accommodations with God, if only for the sake of family and friends.

God or a Greater Presence

I am troubled by many aspects of organized religion, and I know others are as well. Even the word God troubles me at times because it seems too certain, too focused, too human, and perhaps even too Christian! I prefer to think of God as a Greater Presence because for me that encompasses all possibilities and all religions. In addition, the phrase a Greater Presence preserves the required strength and respect while remaining consistent with my feelings and beliefs. If God exists, then surely it is the same God that all people worship, including those who do not feel the need to worship God in a building surrounded by others of the same beliefs. Many people see and even feel a Greater Presence in the world around them. I feel it when I look at my grandchildren; when I walk the beaches of South Carolina; when I watch a powerful storm; and when I see a mother holding her baby.

During times of great pain people turn to God but usually to a God they have allowed their religion to interpret for them, rather than the God that is within them. As they experience pain they ask why it is happening to them or to their loved ones. Why do bad things happen to good people? or How could God allow this to happen? Some will even express anger or hatred toward their religion or God. During the last two years my family experienced my father’s declining health and his death, and

we lived with the uncertainty of my wife’s health. Through it all, each of us looked to God—each of us in our own way.

Pain and Uncertainty

In my professional life I was employed as an engineer and as a university professor. Consequently, my writing was highly structured and predictable to the point of boredom. In contrast, when I communicated orally, especially in front of a group of college students, I tried to stimulate thinking, entertain (if possible) and provide a basis for informed, intelligent debate. (God, how I love a good debate!) My oral presentations would not follow an orderly straight line approach because that would only result in boredom, and learning can not take place in the absence of interest.

Life, like my verbal communications, is rarely well organized, predictable, or orderly. This book is a message of hope embedded in a period of great pain and uncertainty. During times of great pain and anguish there can be, and should be, intervals of joy. Usually the joy will surface in some unexpected way, but it should be embraced and fully appreciated, even if the worst possible outcome is a certainty. Reviewing events of the last two years, I came face to face with issues that were deeply troubling to me. The nature of God, Jean’s mortality, and my own mortality were unavoidable issues I considered. This took place at the core of my intellect and in another place: my soul. My writing will attempt to reflect all of this and the inner thoughts and fears that raced through my mind during this period.

I am conflicted about God and religion; I am not even sure that God exists. Nevertheless, I draw great strength from all things spiritual and from a hope there is a God associated with the Greater Presence I frequently feel around me. I am surprised I can draw strength from uncertainty, for I pride myself on being logical and analytical.

Offend No Person or Group

It is difficult to write or speak about God, religion, and life after death without offending individuals or even entire groups of people. I knew when I began writing this book that my words could offend many people, even friends and family members who know I mean no harm and know I respect all religions. Recognizing this danger, I will refrain from discussing the specifics of any religion.

I often describe and interpret the world metaphorically, for this compresses complex and even painful ideas into words that are more easily understood and in many cases less controversial. In addition, metaphors frequently have a universal meaning that can be readily understood by diverse groups. For example, I prefer the expression cross the river for the last time to other more direct, often painful, ways of describing death. In addition, crossing the river for the last time implies