Where Did It All Go Wrong?

By Adrian Dekievit

Born in poverty in Holland at the tail end of the feudal system during the Great Depression, Leonard Demerwe immigrates to Canada at age twenty-eight. For many years, things are good for him. He and his wife, Mandy, operate two businesses and have two children. But as Leonard finds out, life sometimes throws nasty curve balls, and not everyones story has a happily-ever-after ending.

Where Did It All Go Wrong? explores Leonards life and tries to determine exactly when it all started to unravel. This memoir delves into the many issues the family experienced. Mandys many surgeries and disabilities, a rebellious teenage son, infidelity, psychological abuse, business issues, financial trouble, and, finally, divorce.

Discussing the highlights of Leonards life and examining the events that shaped the man he has become, Where Did It All Go Wrong? narrates the story of one man who has not experienced a dull life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Dec 7, 2012
• ISBN: 9781475952216

Adrian Dekievit

Adrian Dekievit is the author of three realistic books titled A Lousy Start, Winning Three Times, and The Fluke. He currently lives in Canada. This is his fourth book.

Book preview

Where Did It All Go Wrong?

Leonard was standing at the port side of the M.S. Maria which was sailing smoothly off the coast of Scheveningen, The Netherlands, with the flag half-staff. His daughter, Elsie, was at his right side, and his son, Denis, at his left while he glanced over the seemingly endless North Sea which empties into the vast Atlantic Ocean. Never had he thought it possible what he was just about to do.

The sea was calm but his heart was in turmoil and his mind started to turn like a kaleidoscope. Within seconds, his entire life seemed to pass by in reverse, pausing only momentarily at highlights of his life. How was it possible that after living for 43 years in Canada, he had suddenly returned to Holland to fulfil an important duty?

Born in poverty at the tail end of the feudal system, during the early years of the Great Depression in Holland, the little country situated on the North Sea, there was not much to shout about. The Great Depression was followed by five years of war and incredible lean post war years. It seemed that the world had little to offer to a boy who wanted to travel and see the world. At that stage it wasn’t written in the stars that things ever would change for the better.

Yet, he had managed to leave Holland for greener pastures at the age of 28 and now he was back. It sure was a stormy story with many ups and downs, a story where one could write a book about.

The greatest step he had taken in his life was to emigrate to Canada. After a lousy start things started to look up for the first time of his life. With a tremendous lot of effort and also a lot of luck he finally belonged to the middle class and everything he touched became gold.

It had taken twelve years to find a niche in the new country. He recalled a meeting that took place 12 years after he had arrived in Canada. The meeting had been called by the Chief Electrical Inspector for the purpose of discussing the new code book. When Leonard entered the room, it was as if everybody said in unison: Hi Leonard.

He knew the inspectors, the wholesalers and all the other electrical contractors that were his competitors. At that time, his life had become a success story. However, at the end everything in his life screwed up like a whore’s dream. The proverbial fly had landed in the ointment and had managed to make a hell of a mess. It seemed that he had slipped through the floor boards and now everything he touched became shit. Where did it all go wrong?

He certainly wasn’t the only one in the world to ask himself that question. Many lives start promising and somewhere they screw up but good. Even Queen Elizabeth wondered where it all went wrong. She called 1992 the worst year ever. There was the Windsor Castle Palace fire which cost her $109 million to repair and for the first time in her life she had to pay taxes. Top that off with the divorce of Prince Charles and Diana and it’s understandable that the queen wasn’t amused at all and saw the year 1992 as a hemorrhoid.

The marriage of Prince Charles and Diana was supposed to shore up the sagging popularity of the royals but the opposite happened. Three of her four children got married and all marriages ended in divorce. Prince Andrew and Sara Ferguson were divorced and Princess Ann had divorced as well. If you talked to the queen you were well advised not to talk about her children.

Leonard found it difficult to put his finger on the time and place that things started to go wrong for him. It doesn’t happen suddenly, it takes time for things to deteriorate but once it gains momentum it goes rather fast.

The First Dark Clouds Were Moving In.

Up to 1970 everything seemed to be honkydory. By that time Leonard and his wife Mandy, had two businesses and two children, one girl and a boy. What else could they possibly want to be happy? They were both working hard together and made enough money to go on a holiday in winter. It was a perfect blueprint for happiness. If at that time, somebody would have said that this happiness wasn’t going to last and that their marriage was heading for the rocks, Leonard wouldn’t have believed it. Sure, in every marriage there are good and bad times and sometimes an argument can clear the air.

Every winter they went on holiday preferably to a place where it was nice and warm. That was a break and they took always the children along. Usually, the holidays were taken during the Christmas holiday season when the kids had already two weeks Christmas holidays. Most of the holidays were about three weeks and a visit to the principal gave the kids the additional time off. The principal always said: When you take the kids around the world, you teach them more than I can teach them during that time.

The only problem with the holidays was Mandy’s health. A couple of months before the planned holiday, she was usually sick, which could mean that the holiday had to be cancelled. There was cancellation insurance in place but that could mean no holidays for that winter. Leonard was holding his heart when she got sick just before a planned holiday; he was always looking forward to the winter holiday. With two businesses to run there was always a lot of work to do. Besides the work there was bookkeeping and chasing people to pay up their bills. A holiday with the family was also nice when you were just with the family together and had no worry about the telephone. You could spend time with just the family. Luckily, miraculously she was always cured before the scheduled holiday. It was plainly mind over matter, she wanted to go on the holiday so much that she made sure she was better again before they had to leave on their holiday. Leonard was always wondering when their luck would run out and the holiday had to be cancelled.

Of course, the kids Elsie and Denis, were enjoying the holidays as well and always were wondering where they would go next. Indeed, it was an education to them, especially when the holiday took them to Japan.

Between the winter holidays, there were summer holidays from school for the kids. Mandy usually stayed with the kids a month in Waskasiu, in the Federal National Park and Leonard went there for the weekends. Moreover, Leonard took in summer time off to go fishing for at least two weeks. At first, he went with Rick his cousin and when Denis, his son, was old enough he took Denis along as well. When the fishing trips took them ever farther up North, Rick had enough of it and Leonard would just go with Denis.

The first big trip with Denis was to Reindeer Lake and after a few trips to Reindeer Lake they went to Wollaston Lake which was another 125 miles farther up north. Camping and fishing with your son was an excellent idea to have a good relationship. Moreover, Leonard went with Denis to demolition derbies and hockey games. Everything was just perfect and if anybody had told Leonard that this perfect relationship wasn’t going to last and would be replaced by severe hardships, Leonard wouldn’t have believed it.

Of course, Leonard could expect a time of teenage rebellion in which the kids would know everything better than their parents. Leonard knew where they were coming from; he had been a teenager himself and he hadn’t forgotten that time. Eventually, the kids would find out when they reached the age of twenty that their dad had smartened up a lot and that he wasn’t that bad a guy after all.

More Trouble Brewing.

It seemed that Denis ran into some problems at high school. He was the star student of the class but his behaviour wasn’t the best. Mandy and Leonard were told this on parent’s night. The teachers were full of praise about Elsie, their daughter, but when Leonard asked about Denis, the teachers acknowledged that he was a very bright student who had to be disciplined quite frequently. They usually said: Well, he is a good student but a poor example for the other kids.

It didn’t seem too big a deal and Mandy and Leonard thought that it were typical teen age problems which would correct itself in the next few years. Girls were usually better behaving than boys and eventually he would smarten up.

When Denis came to puberty, he was like everybody else attracted to girls and when he was fifteen years old, he had his first girl friend. It was not only a good looking girl, it was a decent girl as well whose parents were staunch supporters of the Lutheran Church. Only one problem; her parents went to church and the girl went with them. Denis didn’t go to church which was not a real problem but one developed when Denis was swearing. Her father said that he wouldn’t allow swearing in his house and if he kept up swearing, he was not allowed to date his daughter anymore.

The man talked to deaf ears and shortly after, Denis was swearing again. Her father said resolutely: You leave this property and never return. I’ve warned you but you keep swearing. You are no good for my daughter.

That old geezer has to be taught a lesson, Denis thought. He went home, took half a dozen eggs out of the fridge and threw them against the windows of the house. Moreover, he broke the broom stick that was present on the property.

When Leonard got the complaint about Denis’ misbehaving, he made Denis clean the windows and told him to replace the broomstick. While Leonard was talking to the girl’s father, Denis cleaned up the mess and when Leonard asked about the costs of the broomstick, her father said: That’s fine, a broomstick doesn’t cost that much and it was nice to talk to you. As long as Denis stays away from my daughter, we are doing alright because my daughter deserves better than a swearing boy friend. That solved that problem.

Denis said: Just as well, I was not fond of that family anyway; all they do is play the organ and sing hymns.

The next problem occurred when Denis made a heck of a mess at the golf course with his friend, which included damaging the greens. When the owner promptly phoned the police, the police made them work at night for a week at the golf course as punishment, and that problem was solved as well.

So far, this was not really extra ordinary behaviour for a teenager. Leonard himself had been a teenager and his behaviour had made his dad shake his head. Some kids are giving more problems than others. An early indication of trouble was when Denis came home drunk; he stated that his friend had had a bottle of rye and after they drank it, they were naturally quite drunk. It looked to Leonard that the bottle could have come from his liquor cabinet. He had white and red wine, rye, Scotch, vodka, gin, and two kinds of rum. Whenever he re-supplied his liquor, the bottles were not always quite empty. He never counted the bottles and wouldn’t miss a bottle.

Some parents marked the content level of the bottles so they could tell if somebody unauthorized had taken some of the booze out. The result was that the children would take from the bottle and replace the stolen liquor with water. Leonard hated to put things behind lock and keys, it shouldn’t be necessary. However, to make sure that he wasn’t the supplier of the parties the kids had, he put a lock on his liquor cabinet.

It occurred to Leonard that Denis didn’t have the best of friends. When the kids are growing up, you have to teach them responsibility. Elsie provided a way to do just that. She had been invited to a girl friend’s party and her parents had left the teen age girls alone. That way they would learn responsibility and take care of things.

Actually, that looked like a good idea and Elsie had her party with her friends while Mandy and Leonard went to the movies. When they returned from the movies, the girls were drinking their soft drinks and were just talking while they were listening to some teen age music.

After a while the girls said: Good night, and left quietly.

Of course, Denis wanted to have such a party with his friends as well. He was two years younger than Elsie which posed no problem. As they say: Learn it young and you’ll do it when you are old.

When Mandy and Leonard went to the movies, they left Denis with his friends at home. They had soft drinks, potato chips, cheesies and peanuts to munch on and of course, they had loud music which was no problem when you are not home. Mandy and Leonard left and Leonard said to Denis: You are in charge!

After the movies when Mandy and Leonard returned home, they couldn’t believe their eyes. The place was a mess with spillage of the soft drinks and munchies everywhere and one of the teenagers was dancing with his shoes on the glass plate of the coffee table. Of course, the glass plate was broken into many pieces and the wood of the coffee table had scratches in it.

Leonard couldn’t make himself heard because of the ear deafening music and shouted: Turn off that damned music!

When the music was turned down, Denis asked: What’s the problem?

Leonard replied: If you don’t see a problem you are crazy. This is no way of behaving; we trusted you but you just bungled it. Get all those ignorant kids out of the house; they don’t respect somebody’s house and don’t know how to behave.

Mandy and Leonard had expected that boys would make more mess in the house than girls but they hadn’t expected a mess like this. Denis was mad that his dad had sent his friends away. It didn’t matter; Leonard was resolute and told him, If you had proven to us that you can handle responsibility, you could have had another party in the future. However, you just showed us the opposite which means no more parties here. Go to the house of your friends and make a mess like you did here and see what those people will say.

A few weeks later when Leonard and Mandy returned from a meeting at the Club, Denis had a few friends in the house and they had been drinking beer; they were half pissed and had made a terrible mess with empty beer bottles lying in corners on the floor. Leonard said: I thought I told you no more parties in this house. You bungled again; you could have showed us that you were grown up and could handle responsibility. If you had been sitting with a few friends in the house and had not made a pigpen out of this place, we could have allowed it. However, you have showed us that nothing has changed; get those pigs out of this place right now.

After his friends left Denis said: You are just a f…… asshole, you don’t talk to my friends like that!

This is my house, Leonard said, and for your information I will talk to them the way I see fit. And moreover the way you talk to me is not admirable either. For the next two weeks you forfeited your weekly allowance.

You can’t do that you asshole, was Denis’ angry reply, I need money.

Leonard knew how to deal with annoying adolescents and said: You just said that I’m an asshole. Well, I want to be a real asshole by not giving you your weekly allowance for two weeks. It’s my money and I’m not giving money to kids that call me an asshole. Moreover, you are grounded for the next two weeks as well because I’m an asshole.

I can’t do anything in this f…ing place, Denis shouted angrily. I can’t even bring in friends and I can’t live by your stupid rules."

I’ll tell you once more, Leonard said, This is my house and as long as you live under my roof and eat the food that I provide, you do what you are told, stupid rules or not.

The problem was that Leonard was working at night and Mandy didn’t enforce that Denis was grounded. Denis left at night and Mandy didn’t say anything. All this created a certain friction in the house which would pass in due time, Leonard thought. He hadn’t expected that there would never be a disagreement or an argument with growing up kids.

In the good old days, they didn’t recognize teenagers; you either were a boy or a man and a growing up boy did his utmost to be classified as a man. However, those were not the good old times and things were different. Teenagers were quite often more than a regular nuisance. Unfortunately, Mandy and Leonard didn’t have the foggiest idea what was going on, but they were going to find out sooner or later. It was sooner.

When Leonard’s Ford station wagon burned out on the highway to P.A., he needed another wagon. He couldn’t afford a new wagon which meant he had to shop around for a second hand one. After looking at several wagons, he came at International where they were having a few second hand wagons for sale. One of them was a four by four which was the very thing that Leonard needed for his fishing trips up North. He had tried to go to Reindeer Lake with the Ford station wagon but because of heavy rains, the roads looked like farmer’s field and consequently he didn’t make it. This four by four was the very thing to have on rain soaked roads.

There was also a yellow station wagon for sale with normal rear wheel driving. Mandy couldn’t even drive a car, yet she asked: Can I have the yellow station wagon?

They never had talked about having more than one car because at the best of times it was hard enough to maintain one car. However, there was a lot of work and money was being made. If Mandy had a wagon she could drive, she could transport some of the equipment that was needed on the jobs and Leonard didn’t have to take her there and transport her back home. Leonard made a deal to buy both cars and all what was needed was to teach Mandy to drive a car.

Actually, it would have been better to let her go to a driving school. That way there wouldn’t have been arguments. The first lesson created a problem from the beginning. When she pulled away, she gave a lot of gas and didn’t turn back the steering wheel. Consequently, the car hit the snow bank. There was no harm done but it took a little bit more explaining and Leonard became more defensive that she wouldn’t bungle it again and hit another car. She was quite stubborn and knew it better. She didn’t make a left turn from the left lane which can be a problem for other traffic. When Leonard kept telling her, she got mad and got out of the car. She said: You can drive this damned car yourself!

It took some coaxing to get her back into the car and with a lot of patience she managed to drive the car as she should in order to get her driving license. She succeeded to pass with her very first test and from there on she drove the yellow station wagon. Mandy had the bad habit of not locking the car overnight and Leonard kept telling her to lock the car.

One morning she looked at the street and her car was gone. Leonard said: That will teach you to lock your car!

My car was locked you asshole, you always blame me for everything! was her reply.

It doesn’t matter whether the car was locked or not, Leonard replied, all you can do now is phone the police.

The police came and filed a report and the insurance was notified. The next day, the police phoned that her car had been found a few miles out of Lorne Avenue on a country road. Some joy rider had stolen the car and had hit the ditch. It was on its side and had considerable body damage. The steering had suffered as well and had also to be fixed.

At the time there was a $200 deductible which they had to pay themselves because the culprit hadn’t been found and even if the culprit was found without having a driver’s license; it would still be $200 to be paid by the owner. A guy without a driver’s licence didn’t have any insurance to pay for the $200 deductible.

After a week, the car was back in circulation and everything was like it was before. Then one morning the telephone went and when Leonard picked it up, a voice said: This is the city police. You reported a car stolen; did you ever get to the bottom of this?

What do you mean by that? Leonard asked.

I mean, did you ever find out who stole your car?

No, I thought you fellows would do this.

We did.

Well, who did it?

The police answered: Denis!

Denis who?

Denis, your son.

That couldn’t be Leonard replied convinced. There must be some mistake.

No mistake, the police said, can we come over to your place to talk about it.

Sure, Leonard said, Denis is home with a cold so we can straighten out this mistake right away!

When the police came, Leonard got Denis out of bed to confront the police. The police officer asked Denis, Is Shane a friend of yours?

Denis answered: Yes, he is my friend.

That’s what we thought, the police officer said, because we found his finger prints in the stolen car from your mother. Shane has been in trouble before so we have his finger prints on file and we found them in the stolen car. Did you give him the key and how did you do it?

Denis, on the hot seat, said: At twelve o clock when my parents were asleep, I took the car keys from the counter, crawled out of my bedroom window so I wouldn’t make any noise to wake up my father and mother. Shane was waiting for me and we went to drive the car on the country roads. We did it two times before but this time Shane went too fast in the curve and we hit the ditch.

How did you get home that far from house? the police officer asked.

That was easy, Denis answered, when we were walking home, a patrolling police car caught up with us and the police asked where we came from and where we were going. We told him that we had been staying at a friend’s place and we had a quarrel. We didn’t want to stay there so we left to go home. The police officer said to come in the patrol car and took us home.

Leonard couldn’t believe what he heard and said to the police officer: I can’t believe the police take the boys home and doesn’t even wake us up to see what was going on that late after midnight.

The police said: We also have a suspicion about other things; can we search your property for marijuana?

Leonard fell from one unpleasant surprise into another and asked, Marijuana, what do you mean?

Shane is into marijuana, the police officer said, and we have a suspicion that he uses your place to store it.

After the police searched the property they found marijuana at the side of the garage between some weeds and confiscated it immediately. The next day the police phoned again and wanted to talk to Mandy. When they came over they had a handful of jewels that belonged to Mandy. Apparently, when Shane came over to play with Denis, he went to the bedroom where her jewels were kept in a box. He stole them all and had pawned them in a second hand store. The police found out because Shane had kept the pawn ticket.

Of course, Mandy had missed her jewels but never told Leonard. Anyway she got back her jewels and Leonard wanted to know why she hadn’t told him about the theft. She said: I was afraid that Denis had stolen them and didn’t want to tell you.

The Dream House.

Many people are thinking about building a dream house and so did Leonard. He had met a few people that had made a blueprint of the house they were dreaming of and one was exceptionally good. The blueprint was made by a woman who wanted to make a round house. It was beautifully laid out, and looked great but she never had the money to build it.

Leonard had been dreaming about it for a long time and came pretty close at one time to build it. Unfortunately, there was a temporary lull in the construction industry and jobs were hard to find which translated in a sharply reduced income. That put the project on a hold and it looked that his dreams would stay dreams like all the dreams of the other people.

Luckily, the economy had improved and making money to fulfil his dreams had returned. The delay actually had benefited his plans; he had seen a few things in houses he was wiring that appealed to him and he was planning to incorporate them in his dream house. He also had some more ideas himself and now there was money coming in again, he was going to build it.

Mandy was enthusiastic about it too and did all the draperies and together they selected the kitchen cupboards and other things. Beautiful chandeliers and other light fixtures were selected to compliment the house. The giant chandelier in the living room looked like a big birthday cake on the ceiling. In order to be able to hang it, there had to be a ten foot ceiling and the house was built accordingly.

The house turned out beautifully and everybody was impressed if not jealous. In winter they were still travelling and people said: Why do you guys travel when you have such a beautiful house? If I had a house like that, I would stay home and sit in my house to enjoy it.

Mandy and Leonard were globe trotters and were not about to sit in their house all the time. Even with their travelling, there was enough time left to sit in the house. Now their dreams were fulfilled they should be as happy as a pig in the mud but somehow that wasn’t the way it turned out. When they moved in, there were obvious signs that the honeymoon was over. There were visible cracks in their once solid marriage.

More troubles were forthcoming with the behaviour of Denis. On the day of moving, Denis didn’t even come out of his bed. Leonard knew a way to get him out of bed and threw a pail of water in his bed. That got him out of bed and also angry. It didn’t mean that he was going to help with the moving. On the contrary, he dressed and left. Leonard had never received education in being a parent. Actually he had, because he saw his parents do it and he just had to copy it except the rules had been changed.

It didn’t take long before angry voices were shouting at each other in the dream house and soon life became a nightmare. Everybody was jealous that they had their dream house but what’s the use of having a dream house if you aren’t happy in it?

In one of the houses he had been, Leonard had seen some kind of a plaque with the inscription:

Even if our house is very small,

It still is cosy from wall to wall.

That summed it up; a beautiful big expensive house doesn’t bring any happiness, the people who are living in it have to make happiness together.

After this whole thing of the stolen car and the marijuana on the property had blown over, Denis became more and more belligerent. At one time, Leonard had to set him straight when his mother told him to turn the loud music down. His response was: "F… off.

Leonard responded to that and said: I don’t want to hear that in this house that you tell your mother to f… off, you should have more respect for your mother.

Denis turned around and hit Leonard in the face. Before Leonard could do anything Denis escaped outside. When Denis came late home that night, Leonard had a bone to pick with him. He wanted to know why he had deserved this abuse and asked Denis: Why did you hit me?

Denis’ reply was: You had it coming!

Why did I have it coming? Leonard asked. I’ve been always good to you. I went fishing with you in the middle of nowhere, I took you around the world on holidays, took you to hockey games and a demolishing derby, why do you think that I had it coming?

Denis replied angrily, I never wanted to go fishing with you but I had no choice. You made me go with you and the same with holidays abroad; I didn’t want to go but I had to.

Leonard knew very well that Denis just wanted to hurt him and that he later would regret what he had said in his anger. He said to Denis: Oh, you poor boy, you had to go fishing with me in the middle of nowhere. Well, you don’t have to worry anymore because you don’t have to go fishing with me anymore, I’ll find another buddy to go fishing with. And as for the holidays I won’t take you anymore either. If you don’t like to go on holiday with your father and mother, see if I care, I can save myself a lot of money if I don’t take you along. However, I will give you a fair warning. If you hit me once more because you think I have it coming, I’ll boot you out of the house. I’m not going to fight with you and neither am I interested to argue with you whether I have it coming or not.

There is no way I can live with you, Denis argued.

Then get the hell out of here, Leonard countered. This is my house and you are going to live by my rules, or out you go.

One afternoon, Denis came home from school early. Leonard asked, What is the occasion that you are that early home?

I’m expelled, was the answer.

When Leonard enquired about the reason that he was expelled, it was the teacher’s fault. That teacher was so unreasonable, was the answer.

I’ll go and talk to the principal tomorrow, Leonard said. You have to make sure that you get grade 12 at least or you’ll get nowhere in this world.

When Leonard entered the principal’s office, he was received very cordially and the principal asked: What can I do for you?

Leonard didn’t really have to tell him; the principal knew what he came to ask and when Leonard asked if he would consider taking Denis back at school, the principal said: No problem, I was only disciplining him. Just send him back to school.

It wasn’t hard for Leonard to convince the principal to take Denis back to school. On parent’s nights, Leonard had talked frequently to the principal and at one time when they were on their way to Disney Land, the principal was in the same plane. They had a good talk about various things and the principal liked Leonard as much as Leonard liked the principal.

Two weeks later Denis was expelled again and reluctantly Leonard went to talk to the principal. He said to the principal: I realize that there is quite a problem with Denis’ behaviour at school. I like to ask you to take Denis back once more and I’ll have a good talk with Denis. If you have to expel him again, I will not be back to ask you for another favour. I realize that you can take a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink. The same with children; you can send them to school but you can’t make them study or behave.

At night, Leonard had a good talk with Denis and told him: You have one more chance; if you are expelled again, I won’t ask the principal any more to take you back. You are the star student of your class and you should have no problem to get Grade 12. Your only problem is that you have to behave and not disrupt the class room.

Leonard had a deal with the principal but unfortunately Denis was expelled again after three days. That was it, no high school diploma for Denis. It looked that with trying to talk sense into him, the opposite had been reached. He was fighting the system and he knew that Leonard liked him to get proper schooling so he bungled it on purpose.

You better find yourself a job, Leonard told Denis. Apparently you don’t want to study and neither do you want to behave at school. See if I care; we are talking about your education and your future. I have all the education I need and if I think I need some more, I’ll get it. You are on your own to get yourself a career. In vain have I tried to talk sense into you and you don’t care. Well, I don’t care anymore either.

Denis left the house and didn’t return at night. Mandy and Leonard were both plenty worried. They figured that he was very likely staying with a friend and wouldn’t sleep in the street. After a couple of days, Leonard found out that indeed he slept in the street in an abandoned old car.

Leonard phoned the police to see what could be done about it. The police suggested to go to Judge King to make a complaint and ask him to arrest Denis in order to take him to the psychiatric ward for evaluation and treatment. He probably was confused and needed help.

Two detectives came to talk to Mandy and Leonard. They asked for a photo in order to identify him and asked who his friends were and where they lived. We’ll find him, the detectives said, and we’ll deliver him at the psychiatric ward for you. However, from past experience, I don’t think it will do us any good.

If it doesn’t do us any good, Leonard said, It’s too bad; at least we have tried.

The next day Denis was arrested and delivered to the University Hospital for treatment. At night the psychiatrist phoned that he was going to release Denis. He needed psychiatric care alright but it had to be outside the hospital. Appointments could be set up right away.

That’s ridiculous, Leonard said quite cheesed off. How do you think that I get him to your office, he maintains that he isn’t crazy and is not going to a headshrinker. In order to get him to your office I’ll have to hit him over the head with a two by four and throw him in the trunk to transport him to your office. He won’t go voluntarily!

That’s your problem! the psychiatrist replied and hung up on him.

The day that Denis had to see the psychiatrist, Leonard told Denis that he was going to take him to the psychiatrist for his appointment. As expected, Denis said: I’m not crazy and I’ll see no shrink!

You don’t have to be crazy to see a shrink, Leonard replied, if you have a belly ache you go to the doctor to see what the problem is and you definitely have a problem.

I have no problem, Denis said and walked away.

There was only one option left and that was to phone the police and ask them to deliver him to the psychiatrist. The police said: We can’t do that, sir; it’s your problem to get him there, not ours.

Leonard started to understand that everything was his problem and nobody was willing to help him. He was all alone to fight a rebellious teenager. It seemed that Denis wanted to prove to himself that he didn’t need his father and mother and neither did he need welfare. That was fine with Leonard. At one time, it looked very promising that Denis would be the next electrical contractor after Leonard quit. During his holidays he had helped Leonard with wiring an apartment block in Prince Albert, a city 90 miles from Saskatoon. That was in the most difficult time when work was scarce like teeth on a hen and income had dropped significantly. He also had helped wiring new houses in Saskatoon and picked up fast. Leonard was wondering how long it would take for him to be able to wire a house on his own. Unfortunately, that never happened.

When he became belligerent, he knew it all and wanted nothing to do with his dad anymore. It was too bad that he had become one of the many drop outs at high school. Had he completed high school, the world would have been open to him. If he wanted to get a better education than high school that would have been fine with Leonard. He could have become an electro technical engineer or a brain surgeon if that’s what he had wanted and Leonard would have paid for his education. He wouldn’t have any problem to say to his friends: My son is a brain surgeon.

One thing to Denis’ advantage was that he was a good worker if he wanted to be. His main problem was that he didn’t care too much about his job and thought that he was irreplaceable. He found himself a job in a warehouse where they had to unload box cars and transport the goods to the intended customers.

After working there for a few weeks Denis said to his dad: The boss has warned me that if I come one more time late at work, he would fire me.

Then you better make sure that you are in time, because he will fire you, Leonard said.

He can’t fire me, was Denis’ reply. The boss needs me; the work that I’m doing is very important and he has no one to replace me.

I don’t think so, Leonard said. With your attitude, the boss can’t afford to keep you. If you come constantly late at work, you are a bad example for the other workers and soon everybody else will come late to work.

Unfortunately, Denis didn’t heed the warning and a week later he told Leonard: I’m fired.

Leonard replied: I hate to say that I told you so, but I told you so!

It doesn’t matter, Denis said. Everybody can unload a box car; I want to do something more important and challenging.

That was fine with Leonard. Hopefully he was seeing the light and had learned from being fired. Denis was a good talker and he could sell himself. He could sell fridges to the Eskimos in the middle of winter. Indeed he found himself a better job; he was hired by an optical firm and was making lenses for eye glasses. That could be promising, Leonard thought; he didn’t have to be a brain surgeon. Actually it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you make a comfortable living. If you make a buck with doing honest work, that’s O.K.

All those headaches with growing up teenagers didn’t worry Leonard that much. All parents would have a certain amount of problems. If he didn’t have the headaches of everyday life what would he do with his bottle of aspirins?

For a while everything seemed to settle down and it looked hopeful for the future. Maybe the teenage rebellion had settled down and a start with fence mending could be thought of. Then one night he came home stoned. He was a lot more than belligerent and when he saw Leonard he got mad and punched a hole through his bedroom door. That must have hurt later. Probably not at the time of the incident because he was stoned and apparently felt no pain. The modern doors were not made from solid wood like they used to be, they were hollow with reinforcements in the hollow core. He had taken angel dust, he said later.

He seemed to be in all kinds of drugs which included marijuana. One day he was arrested for possession of marijuana and could be released on $5000.00 property bail while he was waiting for his trial which would take place perhaps in half a year. That made Mandy and Leonard personally responsible. Out on bail, he would also be on curfew which meant 10.00 p.m. inside. Mandy and Leonard couldn’t see that they could supervise him. If he broke his curfew, they could lose that $5000.00. Denis wasn’t a bad guy to start out with but with drugs in him he was quite violent and didn’t care about anything. It would have been probably better to get him into a drug rehabilitation centre. Of course, that would come later after his court appearance.

If there was no bail, he had to stay in jail till his trial took place, the police officer said. Tell me, Leonard asked, what if the parents don’t have $5000.00 property bail?

In that case welfare might put up the bail, the police officer said. In your case, you own your own house and welfare is only for the have nots.

We are not rich because we have our own house; there is still quite a bit of mortgage on it and we’ll lose almost all of our equity if he breaks his curfew. You’ll have to keep him in jail till his trial if you don’t want to release him without bail.

Three days later the police officer came back and said: We will let him out of jail until his day of trial on his own recognizance provided that you supervise his curfew. If he is not home at 10.00 p.m. you’ll have to phone us.

It was a deal and Denis was released. At night Denis went to his friends and the very first night of his curfew, he wasn’t home at 10.00 p.m. What are we going to do? Mandy asked Leonard.

We wait till 10.30 p.m., Leonard said, and if he is still not home, we’ll have to phone the police.

Half past ten came and there was no Denis. Phone the police, Leonard said, and tell them all about it.

Ten minutes later Bruce Waldron, a police officer, came. He was a neighbour and Mandy and Leonard talked quite frequently to him and his wife. Bruce said: I can’t wait for him to come home; he might stay out all night. As soon as he comes home phone me.

At a quarter after eleven Denis came home. When Mandy asked him why he hadn’t come home in time he had a stupid excuse as always: I was very tired and fell asleep on the chesterfield of my friend’s house.

Mandy phoned Bruce and he came right away to arrest him right in front of Mandy and Leonard. It meant back to jail and no more parole. Every night Mandy and Leonard went to see him in jail and brought him cigarettes.

When finally his trial took place he had been in jail for two months. The judge gave him two months and considered that he had been in jail for that time, so he was released.

Mandy and Elsie went to visit a friend in Vancouver and Leonard was left with Denis. It didn’t take long or there was an argument and Denis hit Leonard for the second time. Out you go, Leonard said. I’ve warned you that if you hit me again I’ll throw you out.

Of course, Denis wasn’t going and phoned the police. The police came over and suggested that Denis should stay until his mother returned. Leonard didn’t want him anymore in the house and suggested he stay in the trailer till his mother came back. The police thought that was a solution and told Denis to stay in the trailer.

At this stage the police seemed to pull up the driveway quite often for Denis. Police cars pulling on the driveway was not a strange sight because Leonard had wired quite a few houses for policemen. The police officers were all building houses for the purpose of selling them. After living in a house for a year, it was considered to be the residence and they didn’t have to pay taxes on the profit when they were selling their residence.

After wiring the first house for the police, he wired them all and if there was anything to be arranged with the wiring, the police came right away to Leonard’s place with the police car and pulled on the drive way.

Rick, Leonard’s cousin, who worked in the window cleaning, was also well known by the police and not like Denis because of problems. Rick cleaned the windows of the police station thanks to Chief Jim Kettles. Mrs. Kettles called A.B.C. Window Cleaners one day and was very pleased with the job he did. When Jim Kettles came home that night, he was impressed as well and phoned A.B.C. Window Cleaners to get the windows of the police station cleaned.

When Mandy returned from her holiday, she got to hear about Denis’ behaviour and he stayed in the trailer. He didn’t want to work anymore and went to Welfare for money. A Welfare worker came to talk to Leonard and after he had told her what had been going on, she said: You should have more understanding for teenagers! You don’t understand your son. Those people demand love and understanding.

They need love and understanding alright, Leonard replied, and in the meantime they screw you up and they screw you around. How much is there to understand when he hits me? That is one thing I’m not going to put up with! As parents you are not supposed to spank your kids in order to discipline them and you are suggesting that it is alright that the children hit their parents. Not in my house is that going to happen! A person is better off to have a dog in his house than a rebellious teenager. A dog never bites the hand that feeds him, but teenagers do!

A few days later the Welfare worker phoned and asked: Your son wants to live by himself and has applied for Welfare; do you think we should give it to him?

I don’t care, Leonard said. Do as you please. If you think you should give it to him, that’s fine with me and if you don’t want to give it to him, that’s fine, too. I came for help to deal with the problems and you were all on his side. So it’s your baby now.

Welfare decided to give him money so he could go on his own. Within half a year he moved three times. Mandy helped him to move and she gave him also some second hand furniture. He always had to move in a hurry and one time, he had put his furniture outside in the rain till Mandy could transport it. The chesterfield was completely spoiled and Mandy gave him another second hand one. He didn’t care about his furniture; all he had to do was ask his mother and she would provide.

It was on a Friday night, the day before Mandy and Leonard went on holiday, that the phone went and a friend of Denis announced that Denis had been arrested again for possession of marijuana. Mandy and Leonard went to the jail and gave him three packages of cigarettes before they left. It was by no means nice to go on a holiday when your son just has been arrested.

When they returned from their holiday, Denis was staying at Elsie’s place. He was under curfew awaiting his trial and they had to supervise his curfew. That didn’t go over too well either, but he managed not to run into trouble as before with his curfew. Hopefully, he had learned something.

It was the second time that he had been arrested and they gave him half a year jail time which he had to serve in Prince Albert. It seemed that all bad things happened at once. That same week, Leonard had an accident at the farm. When he was working in a yard pole, the pole broke and Leonard smashed his right foot.

On Sunday there was visitation in jail and Mandy and Leonard went to Prince Albert. Leonard had a problem with his foot. It was smashed and there were too many pieces to put together. All they could do was to keep him in the hospital for two weeks to give it time to coalesce. It had to heal without a cast. The problem was that his foot was swelling up if he was sitting for longer than a quarter of an hour with his foot down. That problem was solved by lying in the back of the station wagon while Mandy was doing the driving.

They were allowed to give him cigarettes and talk to him across a long table. An officer from the jail kept an eye on it probably for the purpose of keeping drugs or weapons out of jail. There was another young guy in jail for whatever reason. He was certainly not in jail for being the Citizen of the Year. His girl friend came to visit him and when they were playing footsy underneath the table, the prison guard came up to them and said: Back off, this is not a brothel.

When the visit was over, they walked by some guys who were sitting in jail spitting through the bars. It really is a surprise how fast a human being can change to animal behaviour. When they left the jail, some of the inmates were sitting in the window enjoying the hot summer day. They were shouting to the departing visitors: Aloha, greetings from Hawaii!

On the highway they were stopped by the R.C.M.P. Four inmates had escaped from jail and all the cars were checked. At night they had two of the escapees arrested and the other two they had two days later. Luckily, Denis never attempted to escape from jail. He landed a couple of times in solitary confinement which was more or less a pisshole; it smelled like urine, he said.

When Denis was released from jail he needed a job. Mandy went to George Fleck who was the manager of Eecol Electric, an electrical wholesaler. George Fleck used to be the top salesman for Eecol Electric and came once a month to see Leonard to make some sales for the supplies that he needed. Mandy always made coffee and talked to him. George knew her well enough to do her a favour and gave Denis a job as a truck driver.

Denis worked there for five weeks when he was fired. He said that he had received a traffic ticket for loading too many boxes on his truck which had obscured his view. George Fleck tried to explain to Leonard that Denis didn’t fit into the company and therefore he had to let him go. Leonard wasn’t a bit surprised that he was fired again; his attitude stunk and unless he changed that he would get from one problem into another one.

Mandy got sick again and landed in the hospital. While she was in the hospital there were Reverends and Priests to visit the patients to comfort them. Mandy had been Roman Catholic and Leonard was Protestant. They were married in the Protestant Church but never went to church. Father Senger was with the congregation of St. Frances Church and when he found out that she was actually Roman Catholic, he suggested to her that she should come to St. Frances to worship.

After she was released from the hospital, she did just that and later they asked her to join the Roman Women Catholic League. She enjoyed it so much that after a few years she became the president. That brought Father Senger to her house to discus a few things.

Sometimes, she invited Father Senger to come for supper on the weekend. And after supper they played cards or other games. Everybody enjoyed himself and had a good time. Father Senger never talked religion and never preached, he was out for a good time. If anybody wanted to talk about the Bible, he was ready for you but he wouldn’t bring up these things by himself.

Father Senger did a lot of travelling and liked home made movies of the places that Mandy and Leonard had visited. He himself made slides from the places he visited on his holidays and was always coming over to show his slides. Everybody liked Father Senger and through the years he became everybody’s friend.

At one time he went to Rome and was standing in an overfull bus. There was a young woman breast feeding her baby in the bus. After Father Senger left the bus, he discovered that he had lost his wallet with money and passport. At the police station they told him that a gang was operating in overfull busses. The woman who was breastfeeding her baby was a decoy, it was not a real baby, it was only a doll.

He had to go to the Canadian Embassy for a new passport. When he came home and told his story, his brother said: "It’s your own fault; you should have watched your wallet instead of the breasts of the woman.

Gaining A Bathroom.

Cameras were clicking, flashlight flashes were blinding his eyes and several movie cameras were zooming. Seldom had Leonard felt that important when he walked down the isle with his daughter on his arm.

A very important job had to be done; it was up to him to give the bride away, his daughter Elsie, whom he had cradled in his arms when she was a little baby. Those were wonderful years and this was the crown on his work of many years of taking care. This little baby had grown up and was now ready to start her own life and hopefully a family. He had no problem with that because he wouldn’t lose a daughter, but would gain a bathroom.

It was a give away alright; at one time there was a dowry, sometimes in cows in agricultural places. That wasn’t bad but sometimes it went the other way when a father had to pay a man to take his daughter off his hands. At one time, when people were joking about that, one of the guys asked the woman how much her father had to pay her husband to take her off his hand. The woman got pretty mad about that joke.

It was a hot summer day when the wedding took place and the mercury hit 35. It could have been worse; the highest temperature recorded in Saskatchewan was 45 degrees. It was hotter than hell in the church and it was so hot that it would have made the devil feel uncomfortable if he had paid a visit. The church had too many large windows and no air conditioning. It made him think of his own wedding when the temperature was that high as well. With a jacket and a tie, his underwear started to feel wet from the sweat that poured down his back.

It was a simple wedding with quite a few guests, among them Mandy’s stepmother from Holland. After the wedding there was a reception in the Sheraton Cavalier and after that the couple went on their honeymoon.

A couple of years later, Denis had a new girl friend by the name of Marlene Elder. Her mother was an Indian and her father was a Caucasian. They were real nice people and Mandy and Leonard went a couple of times to visit them. Her father was walking on crutches, he had trouble with arthritis. Apparently, he was on miracle medicine; as soon as he had consumed about three drinks, he threw his crutches away and walked without them. Obviously, he was feeling no pain. He was good to Denis and let him drive his car frequently. Marlene’s mother was a hard working woman who worked for Dr. Benny in the housekeeping.

Marlene herself was a pain at the best of times; when they played cards with her there were always arguments. She couldn’t stand to lose. Moreover, she always wanted to get married to Denis and Denis thought that living together was just as good. Why did you have to get a licence to go to bed with a girl?

One day, they had just moved into an apartment where there was no washer and dryer. That wasn’t all that bad; they did the laundry at Mandy and Leonard’s place anyway. After a while, Marlene found that too much trouble and asked: When we get married, would you give us a washer and dryer as a present? Elsie got that for her wedding present, are we getting the same?

Leonard said: We probably could do that if you don’t have any. What I did for Elsie I can do for Denis.

Her reply was: Why don’t you give us the washer and drier right now because we need them and we are getting married soon anyway.

It’s a wedding present, Leonard answered, and you aren’t married yet. Presents are for highlights in your life and shacking up is not a highlight in your life. Your parents who have cared for you so long and other family and friends will give you presents when you get married but not before.

But we are going to get married, she argued.

Never mind, Leonard said, as long as you are not married there will be no wedding present.

Of course, that made her mad and she was complaining bitterly to Denis. She said: Your dad is real old fashioned with stupid old fashioned ideas; he doesn’t want to give us a wedding present before we are married.

Denis thought that it was stupid, too, that they had to wait for a wedding present till they were married and went to his mother to belly ache about it. Most of the time, Denis would get his way but not this time, Mandy sided with Leonard and told Denis, Only after you get married will there be a wedding present.

It wasn’t that Marlene didn’t want to get married; her only wish was