Soul of a Rocky: A Gardinian World Novel

By Kelsey Jordan

Trevor is the son of gods, but a life of privilege is far from his reality. After a childhood of abandonment by his parents and routine abuse by his peers, trust is a foreign concept. And relationships? Not happening. 

Marked by Death's Reaper, Krystiana is thrust into a world where the gods are real, a war is being waged unbeknownst to humans, and her stalker can't be killed. In spite of the mark that is slowly killing her, Krystiana fights to keep what remains of her humanity. 

Forced together by his father, Trevor and Krystiana have to decide if what they have is strong enough to make it through the day Death comes for them all.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kelsey Jordan
• Release date: Jul 12, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386466208

Kelsey Jordan

Kelsey Jordan is the author of the Gardinian World Novels. She is a collector of back packs, pens, and an unseemly amount of paper. When she isn’t working on the series, you can usually find her scrawling on something, playing video games, or taking glorious naps.

Book preview

To my dad. Thank you for everything you’ve done and still do for us.

Let me also dedicate this to the weirdos who love me, the kickass people who provide the humor and love when I need it most, and the only book boyfriend I’ll ever need. May he continue to feed my soul with laughs and eye roll worthy behavior.

You’re only as badass as the last god you brought to their knees. Not me. I kneel for no one.

-Notes from Lykil

Prologue

KRYSTIANA KNEW A LOT of things at the age of seventeen—she had the best friends in the world, boys were both cute and stupid, her mom worried too much, and nothing fun ever happened if she always did what she was told. Six years later, after experiencing the most profound loss of her life, she wished she'd heeded her mom's warning, wished she'd just stayed home like she’d been told. Her friends weren't that great, men were the worst infestation ever visited upon women, her mom was right to be worried, and nothing good came from hooded men standing in dark alleys.

Time hadn’t healed her wounds. She still struggled to cope with everything that alley had visited upon her. Something corded around her soul, its presence black and commanding. At first it was gentle, a soothing voice in the night to assuage her darkest fears—at least until the dark prison’s warden made his purpose known.

He wanted her, lusted after her, and would do anything to have her. Unfortunately for Krystiana, she made him aware that she wasn’t interested in his proposition. From that moment on she’d suffered his supernatural wrath, his tantrums searing into her and slowly consuming her soul.

She suffered alone for six years until God blessed her by shoving her into a chance meeting with Nigel, a Hunter who was engaged in a secret battle with Lycans. He’d taken her under his wing, though he made sure to stress that their connection was brief. He was on a mission of his own—a mission he intended to complete even if he died while doing it.

Chapter 1

I don’t think you have it in you to be a Rocky.

Trevor glanced up from his computer to meet his cousin’s assessing gaze.

Despite having long outgrown his unjust hatred of Trevor, Ryder still had moments where he fell back to old habits. Case in point, whatever thought that had brought him to Trevor’s office in the Rocky compound.

Not that I want to be a Rocky, but why do you think I can’t?

Ryder leaned his sweaty frame against the doorjamb, crossing one ankle over another. He was shirtless, a towel draped loosely in one hand, sweat still slowly running over the tattooed black and grey Celtic cross which rested within a medallion of intricate lines forming the Order of Rockys emblem. Also inked into his flesh, just above his breastbone and glistening just as proudly, was the knotted infinity emblem marking him as married. Ryder rubbed the towel across his chest before smirking at him.

No reason, but there’s been talk amongst the others. Some are drooling with anticipation over their chance to guide you through the Withstanding.

I take it Mike isn’t over our last training session?

His cousin laughed. Mike, Taylor, and Brent all want your hide, but that’s just the short list.

Well they don’t need to worry. I’m not looking to become their brother-in-arms. He noticed the slight adjustment in Ryder’s posture at the perceived slight. Before you say anything, Ry, I don’t personally have anything against the Rockys. I just don’t have a desire to become one either. Hell, if there was a way to ensure that I never find my mate or have children, I’d sign up for that too.

Ryder’s posture relaxed somewhat, but a frown lingered on his brow. It would be easier to find someone the gods haven’t irritated. Besides, why would you deny yourself a partner who will know you better than anyone you’ll ever meet—someone who you can trust implicitly?

There are some things in this life I am not willing to risk just to have a mate. I’d rather be by myself.

No matter what you may think, your mate will bring out the best in you. She will help you rise to the occasion of whatever you think you can’t accomplish. Trust me. There are worse things in the universe than having a mate by your side.

I’m sure that is the case for most, and trust me, I don’t feel special. I’d just rather be alone.

I know the reason you close yourself off, Trev. Don’t give shitty people the power to make you a hermit. You deserve better than that.

Only the gods can dictate what I deserve, and if history is any indicator, I don’t deserve much consideration at all. I’ve gotten used to the solitude.

Trevor knew that Ryder could detect the lie in his reply. He flourished around those he trusted, but he’d also had to quickly learn that trust was a commodity he couldn’t offer without careful consideration.

Since you and I both know the truth of that statement, I’ll just give you my dad’s famous frown of disapproval. He paused to imitate his father. Now onto other things and the real reason I came into this tomb of knowledge.

A tomb implies that this is where knowledge goes to die, which also means you’re calling me stupid. We both know who is the brain trust of this conversation.

Asshole.

Name calling isn’t a sign of intelligence. Now what do you really want?

Ryder grunted out a laugh. Reminding you of dinner at my place.

I remember. Does Lola need me to bring anything?

You know the answer to that.

Fine. One more question.

Yeah?

Lola isn’t playing matchmaker tonight, right?

After that last disaster? Gods, no. I begged her to stop, and she promised. The girl said she’d never been so embarrassed in her life.

All I did was yawn. It wasn’t like I called her boring outright. Besides, I apologized. It wasn’t completely her fault. I had been up for thirty-six hours.

All these comments on the incident are making me think you want Lola to keep trying.

Trevor snorted. I don’t need Lola’s help getting laid, and seeing how her intention is to get me mated, I’ll pass. I just don’t like the implication that I’m an asshole. I know some of you guys wear it like part of your wardrobe, but I’m better than you, so...

Ryder threw his head back and laughed. Your modesty is amazing.

I know. Now get out of here. I have to finish this report so I can stop by on time.

Ryder inclined his head and sauntered down the hallway. His stride was much like his father’s. Also like Ronan, Ryder’s relaxed nature often left others to misjudge his violent potential at their own peril.

DINNER AT RYDER’S HOUSE was as loud and eventful as usual. Lola and the other Omegas spent most of the night running around the house seeing to the needs of their Alphas in a way that his grandfather Kyran would never allow.

Not that Ryder was overly fond of his mate’s continued servitude to his needs. It had been the one thing that he’d sought to change after he’d forcefully taken over the leadership of the Keyton pack from Lola’s abusive father.  The former Mikko had done everything in his power to deny their union in spite of their mated status.

Trevor needed a break from the noise, grabby hands of the single females, and the weighted glares from the fathers of those same females. After a final glance around the room, he slipped out of the front door and made his way toward his truck at the end of the driveway.

Trevor? Are you leaving?

He muttered a curse and turned to face Lola. She had a way of finding him when he desperately didn’t want to be found.

Yeah. I need to head back to the hospital.

You have a patient?

No, just checking in.

That’s why you have nurses. They’ll call if they need you.

He laughed. Nurses rarely need us.

All the more reason for you to stay. Besides, there is someone you should meet.

Against his better judgement, he let Ryder’s petite wife lead him back into the house. He’d learned a while ago that Lola loved nothing more than matchmaking and forcing women on him despite his objections. All of his complaints fell on deaf ears, so he’d settled for slinking away from their dinners.

I can’t promise I’ll be in a good mood, Lola.

When has that ever mattered to me? I’m trying to introduce to someone who may have something in common with you. That’s all.

Having lost before the battle started, he followed her lead back to the large rec room where a woman stood off to the side drinking from a cup and eying her surroundings. Despite her efforts to blend into the background, the woman had little chance of going unnoticed in a crowd of Lycans. How she’d come to meet Lola baffled him, but it was more confusing why Ryder would let a human congregate amongst his pack and be left alone with his pregnant mate.

Lola quickly introduced him, and the woman seemed to easily take over the conversation from Lola’s prompting. Trevor glanced back to Lola, only to find she’d disappeared into the crowd.

Dammit.

After a while the woman got the hint that he wasn’t interested in small talk and quieted.

He released a muted sigh and glanced at the woman. What’s your name again?

She blinked at him as if startled that he’d bother to speak to her.

Krystiana, she finally squeaked out.

Nice to meet you, but I need to speak with my cousin for a second. I’ll be right back, okay?

She gave him a small smile before turning her attention back to her drink and the room.

Ryder, quick question.

His cousin peeked his head from beneath the folds of Lola’s hair. Yeah?

Why do you have a human here?

She was sent here.

His eyes narrowed. By who?

Guess. Also, she’s not exactly human.

That leaves Hunter. I don’t get Hunter from her.

I didn’t suggest Hunter, though she has been hanging out with Nigel.

What aren’t you telling me, Ryder?

Ryder kissed his mate’s neck before helping her rise from his lap. Come on. We need to talk.

He tried to stifle the rage curling in his gut, but as always, failed. The thought that his parents would insert themselves into his life in any way when they’d spent so much time avoiding him was enough to trigger the memories of the countless times they’d disregarded or set him aside for more important things.

He followed Ryder down the hall to his cousin’s office. After closing them in, Ryder sat on the edge of his desk and waited for him to explode. He hadn’t gotten to that point yet, but he couldn’t promise he wouldn’t in the near future.

Why was I supposed to meet with her? Trevor said.

He wants you to train her. Ryder handed him a scroll with his father’s seal on the front. You know I would if I could.

In that, he didn’t doubt his cousin, but Ryder’s hands were tied. To stay in shape, Ryder made frequent trips to the Rocky compound when he needed to run more exclusive training techniques. This helped him keep from training his pack to be a Rocky by accident. Doing so could result in the death of himself and all those he trained. Trevor would ask a lot of his family, but potentially sentencing them to death wasn’t one of them. Still he had his own life and wasn’t about to be held responsible for some female his father couldn’t be bothered to introduce himself.

I don’t know what to tell you, Ryder, but I’m not taking her with me. I have my own life and things I’ve been working on for years. I won’t put that on hold for a male that can’t even be bothered to drop off his pet project to me in person.

Ryder sighed before crossing his arms. I know, Trev. He’s a dick, but you really can’t leave her here.

The hell I can’t.

Trevor, please. You have to take her.

The fact that his cousin asked him to do something nicely should have given him pause. Ryder didn’t say please. Never had—at least not to him. Though he was the son of one of the most laid back people in Trevor’s life, Ryder had very few of Ronan’s easy-going traits.

Still, on this he couldn’t bend. Ryder would have to contact his neglectful father and have her returned to wherever she came from.

I can’t, Ry. Tell him to take her back to wherever she came from.

I tried that already. I even told him that you would refuse, but he left her anyway.

Did you try and summon him back?

Ryder gave him a droll stare. You know you can’t summon Death. He comes and goes as he damn well pleases.

Yes, I know. I may have tried a time or two, he said, managing to contain his anger to only the clipped tone of his response.

He wants her trained to fight Trev. Read the scroll and see what he wants. Nigel can’t do it—at least not as effectively as you can—and he trusts few others with the task of training her appropriately.

Funny how he can trust me, but doesn’t know a damn thing about me. Tell me how that works, Ry?

Trevor could complain about his parents’ lack of actual parenting until his death, but nothing would change. There had to be someone else to take on this task.

What about my grandmother? She would be a better person to train her. It’s because of my grandparents that I’m as capable as a Lycan anyway.

Considering that he hadn’t actually had his First Shift yet, the fact that he could generally hold his own with Shifted Lycans was saying something. So many were ready to see him Shifted and try to lay claim over him—especially the Rockys.

Alexis can’t do it. She’s newly pregnant.

Gods, at her age?

Ryder coughed out a surprised laugh. Don’t let Uncle Ky hear you say that. As far as he’s concerned, Alexis is young and fertile.

It was Trevor’s turn to laugh. "She hates being pregnant. She complained—ad nauseam—that being pregnant has no regard for her balance or center of gravity. It made her shooting ability shitty."

Yes, but Uncle Ky likes it because she’s forced to stay at home.

Conniving bastard probably does it on purpose.

Alexis thinks so. At least that’s the impression I got the last time I had to keep her from stabbing him. Ryder’s smile disappeared as his thoughts about fatherhood appeared to sober him. You know I wouldn’t bother you about taking her tonight, but she can’t stay here. Lola plays it cool and attempts to be a good host, but internally she’s freaking out. I can’t have her this stressed out.

Trevor sighed and unfurled the scroll. After quickly glancing it over, he turned back to Ryder’s reserved expression.

I’m a lot of things, Ry, but I’m not the type of male to risk his little cousin’s safety because my father is an asshole. I’m a better Lycan and male than he’ll ever be.

Trevor knew his cousin wanted to remind him of his parent’s responsibilities to the entire universe. The problem with that particular argument was that no one could ever effectively argue why his parents, God of Death and Champion of the Lycans, held the powers of gods, but not enough to set aside time to be a parent to their son. His cousin mercifully stayed silent on the topic as he balled up the scroll and tossed it in the nearby trashcan.

As a favor to you and because I’m not a dick, I’ll take her to the Rocky compound. My place isn’t set up for a guest.

That was a lie and Ryder knew it, but his cousin wouldn’t call him on it. Trevor didn’t like people he didn’t know in his house and it had little to do with security.

I’ll contact Mikko Sean and let him know you’re coming by with a guest. He can have a room set up for her.

Don’t bother. He’ll just make some smart ass comment which will make me want to punch him in the mouth.

He’ll only punch you back.

Yeah, but I’ve always been told that it isn’t fair to beat up the weak or elderly.

Ryder smiled at that. There are so many people who can’t wait for you to shift. Camden said right now it isn’t fair to fight you when you’re so weak.

Hybrid genes, so I don’t know what he’s hoping for, he said with aa slight shrug. For all he knows, I could be weak as hell.

Stop acting like I haven’t seen your file. You’ll never be an Omega, it’s not in any of the genetic mapping tests run by Uncle Ky.

One could dream, Trevor sighed. At least then people would stop expecting things of me.

And that was the biggest issue he’d faced most of his life. Everyone, save a very select few, wanted something from him. Friendships were rare, because people often mistook his status as the son of gods to mean something. When they found out that he couldn’t even guarantee that his parents would show up for him, the offers of friendship vanished as quickly as they appeared.

He waved off the concerned frown blooming on his cousin’s face.

I’m fine. One of my favorite hobbies is asking for peace and quiet when I should know better. I’ll only get it when I’m dead.

Tre—

Stop it. I’m fine, just fucking tired. I just want to sleep.

Well, I was going to just say thanks, Trev, but you ruined it. Still, I’ll help you with any pointers you may need when training her or if you need anything else.

Trevor smirked. I’m not training her. I’m going to put her there for the night and find somewhere to ship her off. She isn’t my responsibility. If he wants her trained, he needs to ask like a grown male, rather than send scrolls and a pregnant female to do his dirty work.

Ryder tried to make his face impassive, but Trevor knew better. Ry wanted to argue about going against the will of his father and a god.

Don’t bother, Ryder. I know he will be mad, but honestly, why the fuck would I care? I have a job and it isn’t training one of his personal projects to fight.

Ryder sighed and simply nodded. Let me know if you need anything.

I won’t, but thanks.

He gave his cousin a hug before returning to meet the woman his father had sent to him for training. She wouldn’t get the training she expected from him, but that wasn’t his problem.

Trevor made fleeting attempts to think of somewhere to stash her for the next couple of days as he melted through the crowd. He gave up when he spotted her still standing in the corner, likely nursing the same drink she’d had earlier. He paused just outside the room to watch her.

For a human, Krystiana’s beauty was on the scale of the goddesses. The fact that she tried to shrink from recognition in one of the rear corners of the room was the only thing to detract from her allure. Still, looks aside, Trevor could not avoid being drawn to her. The woman radiated a sense of brokenness, as if it were her natural aura. Something or someone had tried to destroy her, but she'd survived.

She glanced in his direction, her hazel eyes nervously raking over him before dropping back to her hands. Judging by the way she studiously picked at her nails, she didn't want to be noticed by him or any other male. That made him both wary and protective of her. She was injured and he was a doctor. His job was to heal and he was damn good at what he did.

Unfortunately, the way her gaze constantly searched the room, as if checking to make sure she could reach the exits should she need them, clued him in that she’d need more therapy than he could ever give her. Her hyper-awareness showed that, despite her fear, she’d do what she could to protect herself. He would have laughed, but if it came to a fight, this woman wouldn’t live long. Especially not with his Rocky cousin primed to overreact in an effort to protect his pregnant mate.

Trevor approached her, but her focus appeared to remain on something in the distance. Her bright hazel eyes turned to him and she stared at him as if she hadn’t seen him advancing toward her.

Your name is Krystiana, right? he asked, standing about two feet from her.

She jumped at his greeting, her hand instantly going to her hip. Before she could do something completely stupid, Trevor yanked their bodies together and crushed his hand over the top of hers and the gun she’d been trying to withdraw from her holster. A gasp escaped from her throat as they collided and he was forced to ignore the way his body coiled in anticipation as her breath brushed against his neck. Instead, he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

Unless you plan on leaving here in a body bag, leave your weapons holstered. He stepped away from their full body contact when the tension in her arm relaxed, but he didn’t release his grip on her hand until her gaze focused fully on him. I’m sorry for startling you. I thought you saw me coming.

A slight blush tinted her cheeks. I did, but I was thinking about something your dad said to me earlier. You were farther away when I last looked at you.

He grunted and motioned her to follow him outside. By the time he traversed the gauntlet of wanton females and stood next to the driver’s side door of his truck, his rage over his father’s audacity had lessened to irritation. Trevor wanted to hate the female, unjust as it was, but she couldn’t know that his father had made time for yet another mortal. But not his son. No, never his son.

Chapter 2

Something Krystiana said in the house had created a flash of banked fury to be focused squarely on her. She wondered if it had anything to do with her mentioning his dad. Trent, God of Death, had alluded to having a strained relationship with his son. Judging by Trevor’s scowl, she was beginning to believe that strained was a vast understatement.

He snaked his way through the small crowd of people, women coming close in an attempt to gain his attention. He ignored all of them and seemed to become more annoyed with each approaching woman.

Maybe he is gay.

They finally exited the house and stepped into the large curving driveway before he stopped and turned to her.

Do you have any bags that I need to go pick up?

Death told me to drop them off in the bed of your truck.

A flash of rage skipped through his gaze before he nodded and continued toward his truck.

He climbed into the truck, the muscles of his long legs bulging in his jeans. It was only a peek at the male who was all hard ridges, which was at odds with his occupation as a doctor and scientist.

Krystiana buckled herself in with the first strange male she’d dealt with since Nigel and tried to calm her nerves and racing heart. She tried to not think too hard about the way the dark cab made his features appear more menacing. Something told her that his mind was on something or someone who had royally pissed him off, so she wilted further into her seat and tried not to catch his attention.

I’m taking you to the Order of Rocky house. My house isn’t set up for guests.

Okay, where is that?

He turned his hard gaze toward her, causing her to flinch at the agitation in his odd colored eyes. She could see him debating if he should tell her. Once he narrowed his yellow and blue eyes—the two colors never mixing—on her, she knew he’d decided to keep the information from her.

Trevor sighed and shook his head before answering, Longmont. It’s about thirty minutes west of here.

Okay. I was just curious. I don’t know anything about Colorado.

He simply grunted in response and returned his focus to the long stretch of road in front of them. Since it was obvious he didn’t want to share anything about himself or talk more than was absolutely necessary, she went back to studying the odd silver halo around him. Her so-called talent dealt in death, so she typically saw pale green halos around everyone. She suspected it was their souls because once they were dead, it disappeared.

The only other person she had met whose soul wasn’t pale green happened to be Trevor’s father. The God of Death’s multi-colored halo was a thing of beauty, but as he’d told her at their earlier meeting, he was taken. Thinking back to the fact that Trevor’s soul wasn’t like all other mortals, she reasoned that it may have to do with his familial tie to Death.

She glanced up as they began to slow down and turn into a long driveway, which lead up to a circular drive. A small parking lot sat off to one side of the drive. Trevor climbed out and came around to open her door—a gesture she hadn’t expected.

Trevor didn’t exactly seem like the brutish type, but chivalrous was far from what she expected from him. Before she could make her way to the bed of his truck, he grabbed her duffle bags and carried them toward the palatial log cabin with indulgently large windows without so much as a backward glance or a muttered command.

KRYSTIANA EYED THE bedroom she’d been given and immediately longed for home. Not that the room wasn’t its own brand of homey. It just lacked a certain something—personal touches, maybe?—to give it that welcoming appeal. Still, the room was nice, definitely more appealing than the one she’d grown up in.

She rubbed at her sternum as the stirrings of her sister stabbed at her heart. Zola would have loved this room, with its gigantic mahogany bed and matching side tables. The oversized and decorative pillows would have been something for her sister to aim at her head whenever they got into one of their sisterly fights. The bathroom however was a sanctuary that both of them could have fought over.

The bathroom was nearly as large as her childhood bedroom. A walk-in shower—big enough for five or six people—sat to one side of the room. From her position just inside the room she saw all of the jets and knew it had to be heaven against any soreness or stiffness she’d gain from training. Against a north facing wall was a large, jetted soaker tub begging her to slip in and drown the frustration of her day. Maybe later.

For now, she needed to start hauling her bags into the adjoining closet and get ready for whatever Trevor had planned for her. Hopefully, he would be more civil than he had been earlier. She really didn’t want to be in their situation any more than he did. But what could she do when Death literally forced her hand?

Obey, because he apparently understood nothing else.

TREVOR STOOD IN THE bedroom he rarely used and tried to avoid the clash of emotions that kept him so far removed from the Rocky compound. He hated this place and everything it represented.

Despite his personal feelings toward the compound, he wouldn’t go so far as to dismiss everything the Order stood for. Their ability to marry multiple Lycan forms into a singe pack and work together for the betterment of all Lycans was nothing short of amazing. It was the building they called home—the building that was the foundation of the relationship his parents now shared—that ate at him. He was almost embarrassed at how much he let an inanimate object bother him, but everyone had their irrational triggers. The Rocky compound was his.

After managing to calm himself enough to venture to the computer he’d spent most of his college years at, he sat down and started a draft letter, which he’d later write in a formal scroll and forward to his father. He needed to practice the precise way he was going to tell his father to go fuck himself and the scythe he rode in on.

A delicate knock echoed against the outer door just as he was signing his name on the scroll to his father. He called for whoever it was to come in before turning his attention back to the letter in his hand. Another scan of the words and he folded it up to take outside and whisper a so-called prayer to the gods to be heard as he burned the it.

Krystiana peeked into the room, her unruly auburn curls appearing before her face. She met his questioning gaze before stepping inside. He noticed she was careful to leave the door slightly ajar as if she were ensuring he didn’t get the wrong impression about her visit. He would have told her that she didn’t even register on his radar as anything but an unfortunate and unexpected guest, but why bother? With the few leads he’d gotten from a former classmate’s real estate wife, he was well on his way to getting rid of her in the next couple of days.

Can I help you? he asked.

Sorry, I was wandering the halls when someone growled at me and pointed me to this room. I wasn’t actually looking for you, but the kitchen.

The kitchen?

Yes, I’m thirsty and a bit hungry, but I suppose I should get the house rules from you first, right?

He simply nodded and turned his computer off. We can grab something to eat at my house. I need to get some clothes anyway.

You don’t have any here?

He scowled. No. I never leave anything here I can’t do without.

Hence his old Mac and a few weapons he didn’t make a habit of using locked in the closet. He had the bare minimum here and he liked it that way.

Her eyes widened at his response, but she recovered quickly from the slight animosity in his tone.

"There is something I have to do.