God Gets Laid: God Gets, #1
By j Starsinger
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About this ebook
Book #1 in the "God Gets ..." series. 100 Pages of Awesome Insights with Graphics Galore! The premise of this book is that we are Godessa and God's hands and eyes on Earth and we should really get better at it. She has learned that the best way to help others is to Shut the Fork Up and listen! Since telling is offensive, and Showing the Way is the proper Way to Listen, she has created diagrams based on the Kabbalah's Tree of Life, Jewell Koans (Joans?) For your entertainment, she has also included non-sequiturs (no extra charge), a few perfectly fun run-on sentences, a typo or two, vulgarities, shocking opinions, a touch of porn and a few random redundancies.
The Truth is, until you ask the question, you cannot hear the answer. Any answer. That is what the wheel of Archetypes is all about. That is why Astrology has been popular for as long as time can be remembered. We want to know about our selves. We need to know who we are. Why are we different from the other animals? These questions fuel our existence.
The Author is a Spi-ritual Seeker (Looking for Routine Inspirations), who disappears into the mists of varied caves and culverts, digging for the Alchemical Pot of Gold, and she takes you with her. "She cannot give you gold, but she can demonstrate how to wield a pick; how to adjust the headlamp on your helmet, and how fast to run when your canary dies. She has been working at this project since she woke up at age six, looking down a suburban sidewalk thinking, "Where did the magic go? Why has it has come to this? Too many straight lines."
"It must be here," she declares as she picks up her hammers, and saw where the pickaxe was tilted against the damp wall. That day she chipped away at the dense granite fog inside a particularly juicy culvert under highway 42. "I know it's in here because I saw it in this morning's dream activities, as clear as day." She described her method …
"I catch relic concepts as they flutter by. I put them in sealed jars and when I get them home I pin their delicate little wings to a board. After searching their patterns for months, sometimes years, I distil them down to concentrated pattern elixir using my Supermax Mind Blender. If I drink it, I must live it. Mea Gulpa. This is a big sacrifice, but God & Godessa encouraged me to it and I agreed. So now here I am, an old lady bachelor peacefully informing the world of what I have learned. It had to be this way or I would have had to admit that I had spent my life as a wastrel or ne'r do well. That would be all right too, in a Universe that does not matter, but I feel that Matter does matter and that doings are at least half-matter, and possibly
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