Mom the Toilet's Clogged!: Kid Disasters and How to Fix Them
By Lauri Berkenkamp and Charlie Woglom
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About this ebook
In a household with children, disasters lurk around every corner. Laundry soap in the dishwasher. Baseballs launched through the neighbor's window. Heads stuck between stair railings. Sandwiches in the VCR. What's a parent to do? Mom, the Toilet's Clogged! takes on common kid-induced household problems and provides hands-on, rational solutions that work. Offering practical and funny advice in the bestselling tradition of The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook and Hints from Heloise, this is the definitive guide to alleviating everyday trauma. Padded with interesting tips that most adults never thought they'd need—until they became parents—this book will help parents with whatever kid disasters befall them.
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Mom the Toilet's Clogged! - Lauri Berkenkamp
Handy
Just Say Cheese and Don’t Turn Your Head
It’s school picture day, and as your son sits down to breakfast, you notice he has something stuck to his head, making his hair puff up like a skunk’s tail. It’s really not his best look.
Oh, that’s gum,
he says, patting his hair and turning sideways to show you how it’s also stuck to his cheek and ear. I slept on it by accident. You should see my pillow.
As you assess the damage you wonder if the school photographer has ever actually refused to take a child’s photo before. You debate whether to look for the scissors now, or capture the moment on film. This will certainly be a picture to remember.
Sound familiar? Don’t worry—help is at hand. Mom, the Toilet’s Clogged!
Kid Disasters and How to Fix Them takes on common and not-so-common kid-related disasters, and provides hands-on, common-sense solutions that really work. This book covers everyday traumas in detail, from clogged toilets to heads stuck in between stair railings, complete with solutions, helpful hints, and interesting bits of information that you never thought you’d need—until you became a parent.
How to Use This Book
This book should be used as a guide; the disasters related in it have actually happened and certainly will again. The solutions are based on advice from qualified professionals and seasoned parents, and acknowledge that while coping with kid-related disasters may drive you nuts, they can also make you laugh— eventually.
The book is divided into sections that address related kid disasters. Has your son superglued his hands together or stuck gum in his hair? Look in Section 1: I Told You Not to Touch That for solutions to these and other body-related dilemmas. Plumbing problems? Section 2: Don’t Flush! addresses plumbing and appliance disasters from overflowing toilets to jammed garbage disposals. Section 3: What’s That on the Rug? offers aid to interior house disasters ranging from carpet stains to holes in dry-wall, and Section 4: What Did You Do to That Window? takes care of exterior disasters, from broken windows to dead car batteries.
And while you’re scrubbing marker off the walls or sweeping up the glass from that broken window, remember that while every day as a parent brings new opportunities for disaster, this book will help prepare you for whatever comes up, goes down, or gets stuck.
Section 1:
i Told You NOT to TOUCH That!
A Brush with Cactus Spines
You’re at the local plant and garden center picking up some mulch. Your children ask if they can go look in the greenhouse where the exotic plants are kept. Sure,
you reply, half listening, intent on making mulch decisions. After all, how much trouble could they get into in there? It’s just a bunch of plants, for heaven’s sake.
Plenty of trouble, it turns out. While you’re at the checkout your daughter comes up to you, whimpering, I had a little accident with a cactus,
and shows you hundreds of feathery prickers coating the back of her hand. You try not to wince, and mentally switch gears from an afternoon of happy mulching to hours of plucking (you) and crying (her).
Here’s What to Do
If the spines are big enough to see, try gently using cellophane tape to lift them off. If they are in too deep to pull off with tape, you should be able to remove them with a pair of tweezers. Don’t pick at them with a needle—it can cause infections and kids hate it. You need to be careful in any case not to break off the spine under the skin, since this too can cause infection.
Here’s What You Need
Cellophane tape
Tweezers
White household glue
Antiseptic
Warm water
Many cacti, especially the kind sold in plant stores, have spines that are practically invisible, and are very difficult to remove since you can’t see them to pluck