50 Shades of Hate, The New Un-American Civil War

By Dave Ehlert

Mark Twain once said “There are three kinds of lies, Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics!” Even he could not have imagined the spin placed on even the most basic news item today. It has become almost impossible to separate fact from fiction especially on Social Media. It has long been true that we can now choose our preferred Television News Channel based on our predisposed political opinion. But that could fill another book. This literary endeavor’s purpose is to try to make sense of the phenomenon of Facebook and its decline to the level of something my wife called a “Social Sewer.”
There is also a more sinister side of the Facebook story. It may come as a shock but people have been killed simply because of a Facebook post. Even worse, some of these acts of violence can be traced to Facebook posts that were created by agents of a Foreign Country. Imagine what would happen if these efforts escalated into an active assassination campaign. Sounds incredible? Maybe, maybe not!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dave Ehlert
• Release date: Mar 23, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370796649

Dave Ehlert

Dave Ehlert - Bio Name: Dave Ehlert Born: Waukegan, IL May 7, 1951 Schools Attended: Grayslake Community High School Grayslake, IL (1966-1967) Graduated Zion Benton High School Zion, IL (1969) Majors: Creative Writing and Drama. Minors: Public Speaking and History Furthered specific studies of Mark Twain particularly in online sessions with lecturers from Yale, Berkley, St. Mary’s College in Maryland, Elmira College, University of the Pacific, Bowling Green State University, Swarthmore College and University of California. Performance History Dave Ehlert began performing in 1965 as Elvis in what has become the longest running Elvis Tribute Show in the world. He’s the first performer to be inducted to the Elvis Performer’s International Hall of Fame. He has performed in 44 states, Mexico and Canada as well as on a cruise ship in international waters. From 1994-2012, he operated the first theatre ever built in the tourist mecca Branson, MO. There, he widened his act to include tributes to many other characters including Tom Jones, Neil Diamond, Liberace, Willie Nelson, Conway Twitty, Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Nat King Cole, Ray Charles, Hank Williams and many more. In 2004, he was “drafted” into the role of Mark Twain when the scheduled performer was unable to make it. He had one week to gather all the Twain background he could find and then walked on stage in full character, cigar in hand. For the first time in over 30 years, Dave felt something different on stage. He felt very nervous! He looked out at the audience and remained silent for two solid minutes. Then, as a Mr. Twain himself said of his own first lecture, “I began to speak.” And speak he did. Performing 6 Twain programs a week for the first year in Branson and then taking Twain on the road to theatres and libraries across the country in 38 states. He has become absorbed in everything Twain. This is indicated in comments on Dave’s performance made by Professor Ben Click who teaches Twain studies at St. Mary’s College in Maryland: “What I found most refreshing is that you clearly had absorbed the essence of Twain's words, and rather than just repeat them you found refreshing contexts in which to put them. It's obvious that you embrace your subject. One other comment I would make is that your audience were completely engaged in watching and listening to you.” In 2011, Dave was researching Twain’s involvement in the Civil War through a lecture series from Yale University’s Professor David Blight and became engrossed in the character of Abraham Lincoln. He then came up with a program dealing with the Civil War from two very different perspectives. Abe Lincoln, the Great Emancipator and Commander in Chief of the Union and Mark Twain, a Confederate deserter, son of a slave owner. Combining his original script with amazing visuals and music of the Civil War era, the result is a fascinating look at America’s most perilous time through the voices of two of the Country’s Favorite Storytellers. Everywhere Dave has performed , the consensus seems to be the same as illustrated by comments from library directors below: "Most successful program EVER!" Patti - Operations Manager Rosalie - Reference Librarian Lebanon Laclede Public Library 915 S. Jefferson Ave Lebanon, MO 65536 417-532-2148 "Most successful program second only to the Milwaukee Ballet!" Linda A. Bendix, Library Director Frank Weyenberg Public Library Mequon, WI 262-242-2593 ext 35 [e-mail] "If anyone asks me, I'll say HIRE HIM!" Andrea Hermann Adult Services Director Crandall Public Library 251 Glen St Glens Falls, NY 12801 518-792-6508 The Phelps Library was thrilled to host "A Visit with Mark Twain". Mr. Ehlert is an accomplished and wonderfully entertaining performer. His knowledge of Samuel Clemens' life and works is extensive and his show was appropriate for all ages. "An awesome program", "I am so glad I came - what a great show", "truly enjoyed the program, especially the Norman Rockwell connection. Lots of fun" & "from start to finish a genuine delight" were just some of the comments we've received at the library from our clients who attended this wonderful evening. June Franzen, Director Phelps Public Library Phelps, WI 54554 And....................... "Just a note to thank you SO much for being our special guest on Saturday. Everyone had a great time. Indeed, our phone has been ringing nonstop with glowing comments! I believe that many folks are still laughing at the many jokes, others are still remembering their past and the past of their families and still others are mulling over the Twain wisdom as you so brilliantly portrayed it, and absolutely none of us wanted that wonderful afternoon to end. Thank you again. You brought far more than an entertaining afternoon, you brought a special joy which will last forever for all those lucky enough to be in your audience." Gratefully, Jane _________________________ Jane Genzel, Director Muskego Public Library S73 W16663 Janesville Road Muskego, WI 53l50 [e-mail] 262-971-2105 But, you can judge for yourself. Visit the link below to see video clips of one of Dave’s first Twain performances. You can see he has already captured Twain’s persona: http://www.bransonsuperstars.com/theshows/breakfastwithmarktwain.html That was 5 years ago and Dave’s portrayal of Mark Twain has evolved into a richer, funnier and more convincing performance as indicated by the comments found above. Many times teachers have given their students extra credit just for attending one of Dave’s programs. From Elvis Impersonator to Mark Twain Lecturer, the journey has been a long, wonderful and continuing quest for the complete Mark Twain story for Dave Ehlert. After performing for 50 years, Dave has become a published Author. His first book, If I Can Dream, The Story of Being Elvis for 50 Years is Available at Smashwords.com. The year 2015 will mark 38 years since Elvis Presley died and 50 years since the author performed his first Elvis Tribute Show. This is the true story of that journey as it intertwined with the life of the World's Greatest Rock n' Roller. A 3 year old boy sings into an imaginary microphone (hairbrush) and grows up to spend a half century “being Elvis”, performing during the terms of 10 U.S Presidents. This story includes wild road trips, clinging women, lost love, found love, lost friend, midnight visits from the mysterious “Ava”, advice from Elvis on being Elvis, schmoozing with Oprah, battles with drugs and alcohol, intentional exposure to nuclear radiation, an interrogation by the Secret Service and “being Elvis” through it all. Along the way the reader will encounter a father crawling up a dirt road with his throat nearly slit, a teen beaten to a pulp by a violent gang, buddies engaging in life-threatening horseplay, an unfulfilled romance spanning 30 years, international intrigue, shady talent agents, haunting midnight visitors, a homicide, an attempted car-jacking thwarted by side-burns the bedside account of the deaths of a father and a mother, the character morphing from Elvis to Mark Twain, spending time with the Chicago Bears and playing basketball for the Chicago Bulls. The book also contains many images and links to videos relating to musical performances as it has been designed to be read on e-devices as a multi-media product. The second book, Elvirus, Elvi-Geddon - Dawn of the Elvi Invasion is also available at Smashwords.com. Elvis is Everywhere. Elvis Impersonators are taking over every facet of our society. T.V., Movies, Social Media, Education and even Politics, threatening our way of life. A group of 100 “Elvi” in 1977 has grown to the astronomical number of over 100,000 with no end in sight. A plot originating in Memphis almost 40 yrs. ago involving a mutant gene that causes ordinary people to become Elvi. Who is involved? Grave robbers, drug pushers, the Dixie Mafia, Neo-Nazis and some high profile figures in the Entertainment World are among the conspirators.. Who or what will save the world from these "Zombie Elvi" Have you been infected? Have you been humming an Elvis Song as you've been reading this? The third book, a suspenseful murder mystery: Lethal Lecture, the Lincoln Library Murders follows an obsessive College Professor on a Library Speaking Tour leaving a string of grisly murders in his wake. Professor Elkhart is a respected authority on Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War. He travels the country giving lectures at Public Libraries as the 150th anniversary of Lincoln’s Assassination approaches on April 14, 2015. As the date gets closer, Professor Elkhart starts to lose his grip on reality. He abandons his Ivy League Jacket with the elbow patches and appears at the podium in full character complete with Lincoln beard and stove pipe hat. He insists the effect is for authenticity but things are just not right with the good Professor. He grows increasingly agitated at any “uncomfortable” questions about Lincoln’s Presidency. He lashes out verbally at audience members who raise any doubts about the “Pure Character of our 16th President” or have the audacity to suggest he might bear part of the blame for a war that took 600,000 American Lives. When those asking the tough questions start showing up dead, two things are certain. Attend one of Professor Elkhart’s lectures and you’ll learn something. Ask the wrong question, and you’ll die! Dave is currently on a 50th Anniversary Tour in recognition of his half a century career as “Elvis”. He continues to bring his portrayals of other Superstars to the stage as well as educational entertainment in the personages of Mark Twain or Abe Lincoln. Also, he makes frequent Author Visits and “digital book signing” appearances at bookstores and libraries across the country.

Book preview

Introduction: Rise and Fall of Facebook

Facebook has been embroiled in controversy since its inception. Even before Mark Zuckerberg officially launched what was then called TheFacebook in 2004, there were allegations of fraud, hacking of personal accounts and theft of intellectual property. In 2010, The New Yorker reported that Zuckerberg in those days actually boasted about f---ing over his original partners at Harvard. He admitted his strategy of deceit consisted of stringing them along while he used their original idea called Harvard Connections to perfect his own version called TheFacebook. Also in 2010, The Business Insider reported that even before that, Zuckerberg had been hauled in front of Harvard's disciplinary board for students. According to a November 19, 2003 Harvard Crimson article, he was charged with breaching security, violating copyrights, and violating individual privacy. To be fair, Zuckerberg eventually settled with his early collaborators for $65 million. Since those early days Facebook has become a major force in the Social Media world with nearly two billion visitors each month.

Current events show that, if anything, controversy is even a bigger part of Facebook. Reported incidents of Russian Government Agencies using Facebook to interfere with the American Election Process, Stalkers, Kidnappers, Rapists and even Murderers using the Social Media Giant to commit crimes and most recently a company called Cambridge Analytics using Facebook to steal information from 87 million Facebook Users have tainted what started out as an innocent college dorm project.

Facebook has also proved to be a breeding ground of Fake News. On any given day one can find incendiary (but false) reports like the following:

All-Female Construction Company Responsible for the FIU-Sweetwater Bridge Collapse

Florida has been having its bad stroke of luck as of late. First the horrible tragedy in Parkland, and now this; Florida International University’s instant bridge, spontaneously collapsing earlier on Thursday. The two companies responsible for the poorly constructed bridge were MCM and Figg, both have a sketchy history when it comes to construction, but for today’s purposes, we’re going to focus on MCM, because there’s a valuable lesson that can be learned here. That lesson is this; there are some things that women shouldn’t do. There are some things women can’t do. One of these is construction. THIS REPORT IS FALSE

British Police Find Putin's Passport at Scene of Salisbury Poison Attack

Salisbury, UK-- Last doubts over Russia’s guilt in poisoning former spy Sergei Skripal have been eliminated. As the British government announced today, the passport of Russian president Vladimir Putin was found at the scene in Salisbury. According to Prime Minister Theresa May, the passport was only now found in another search of the scene, as it had been hidden under a fallen leaf. THIS REPORT IS FALSE

Stephen Hawking Becomes a Christian After a Blessing From Pope Francis

Before he died, Renown Scientist Stephen Hawking who did not believe in God requested to visit the Vatican. Now l believe was the only statement he made after the Holy Father blessed him. THIS REPORT IS FALSE

Donald Trump Said Republicans Are the "Dumbest Group of Voters

Donald Trump told People Magazine in a 1998 interview: If I were to run,(as President) I’d run as a Republican. They’re the dumbest group of voters in the Country. They believe anything on FOX News. I could lie and they would still eat it up. I bet my numbers would be terrific. They really would! THIS REPORT IS FALSE

There are countless more examples of FALSE claims made on Facebook using memes, fake news articles, photo-shopped images and doctored videos. These fake or misleading posts come from the Right and the Left. They come from Whites against Blacks, Blacks against Whites, Gun Rights Groups against Gun Control Advocates, Christian (so-called) against Muslims, Gay Rights Groups against Anti-Gay Groups and Pro-Anything against Anti-Anything.

Mark Twain once said There are three kinds of lies, Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics! Even he could not have imagined the spin placed on even the most basic news item today. It has become almost impossible to separate fact from fiction especially on Social Media. It has long been true that we can now choose our preferred Television News Channel based on our predisposed political opinion. But that could fill another book. This literary endeavor’s purpose is to try to make sense of the phenomenon of Facebook and its decline to the level of what some have called a Social Sewer.

There is also a more sinister side of the Facebook story. It may come as a shock but according to ABC News, people have been killed simply because of a Facebook post. Fortune.Com reports thousands of posts promoting violence were created by agents of a Foreign Country. Imagine what would happen if these efforts escalated into an active assassination campaign. Sound incredible? Maybe, maybe not!

Chapter One: Smoking Kills

Calvin Donnelly checked his G.P.S. one last time. His stubble covered face aglow from the illuminated mobile phone screen as a sinister smile spread across his pock-marked face.

Gotcha!

The man who had infuriated Cal with his Anti-Trump Facebook posts had made a fatal mistake. Cal was able to find his residence because of posts on the jerks Facebook Page showing his neighborhood and yes, his home with the address visible. Cal knew the area and had scoped it out during the daylight hours. He entered the data into his G.P.S. and confirmed the residence under the name of Tremel Davis. The moron had provided that bit of information when he listed his house for sale on a Sell by Owner app. Cal now switched screens to reread the Facebook post that had brought him to this address in a rural area west of Highway 95 just outside Daytona, Florida.

So now we have an orange toddler in the White House who hasn’t a clue about how government works and depending on whether he’s reading a teleprompter with the skill of a 4th grade reader or left to his own ad libs which could be rightfully called diarrhea of the mouth.

Cal felt his neck tighten as the words of the Libtard poster pushed him further into a rage.

You miserable bastard, he thought, You’ll be having a little case of diarrhea in a few minutes when you feel the tip of this at your lying throat! Cal withdrew the 9 inch military style knife from its sheath. The street light glinted off the blade as Cal turned it in his fat fingers.

For the next 40 minutes Cal watched the front window at the residence of Facebook user Impeach-him-now. The interior of the home had a similar glow to that of Cal’s car, illuminated by the digital screen with its connection to the Cyber World. Probably posting more left wing lies about the President, he thought. His lip curled with the evil sneer again as he imagined Impeach-him-now scrolling through the comments on his last anti-Trump post and coming across a bone chilling message.

Your lies end tonight posted by MAGAFIRST ( as in Make America Great Again) which just happened to be Cal’s online username. The post continued, You are a filthy subhuman and you have exceeded your limit of treasonous rhetoric. We Patriots have judged and convicted you of crimes against the Government and hereby SENTENCE YOU TO DEATH! As you read this, an Officer of the Court has been dispatched to deliver your punishment. May God Have Mercy on Your Soul!"

Cal was right about one thing, Impeach-him-now was bent over his laptop furiously typing a reply to an Anti-Hillary Clinton post. The athletically built, spectacled African-American was engaged in a heated back and forth with some idiot calling himself MAGAFIRST. The man who went by the cyber name Impeach-him-now had been consumed by similar exchanges for the past six months. His wife had moved out with their three year old daughter, unwilling to compete with Facebook for her husband’s attention. As she walked out the door, her husband had barely looked up from his laptop. And now, Impeach-him-now or Tremel Davis as the guys down at the Temporary Labor Force office knew him, reviewed the original post by his current online nemesis again. If the Department of Justice doesn’t lock ‘Killary’ up along with ‘Obummer’, this County has NO JUSTICE! Tremel returned to the keyboard. First of all, Hillary was grilled for more than 16 hours and her main nemesis Trey sweaty face Gowdy had to admit we uncovered no new informa---‘ Tremel turned his head towards a noise he heard from the kitchen door. What the then he laughed as he saw Scooter his cat run through the doorway towards the living room. Scooter, you scared the crap out of me! Tremel returned to his typing. no new information. Reviving the Benghazi incident is only an attempt to dist-" Tremel watched in disbelief as his laptop screen turned bright red with ghastly sprays of HIS OWN BLOOD!

Cal stepped back to watch the result of his handiwork. He had approached Tremel from behind and, in one fluid motion, plunged the jagged blade into the left side of his neck while pulling back across Tremel’s throat to the other side nearly severing his head. Now, as Tremel’s face lay on the keyboard causing it to type fffjjjjlkklldddd across the blood smeared screen, Cal reached out with his surgical gloved finger and left his signature on the crimson surface, MAGAFIRST

Back home at Cal’s double-wide mobile home in a modest 55 and over Senior Community ostentatiously dubbed My-Alago, his wife Claire Donnelly waited. She lit up her third cigarette as she watched Don Lemon’s CNN news show. Anderson Cooper would be next and she hoped Cal wouldn’t come home just yet. First he would rail at her for even watching CNN or Clinton News Network as he called it. Then, he would be angry because she was watching Lemon, a race baiting black activist. He would hit the trifecta when he would roll his eyes at the thought of the openly gay Cooper intruding into their Christian home. Still, Claire was worried. Cal had been even more agitated than usual these past weeks. He was addicted to Facebook and was constantly posting or replying to someone else’s post, most always of a political nature. Her friend at My-Alago’s community center, Nadine, said it was because of Pheromones.

Pheromones? Claire had repeated, I thought that’s what attracted members of the opposite sex?

Right! laughed Nadine, But there are many kinds of Pheromones. Turns out Pheromones are addictive, cause they make you feel good. See, on Facebook and other things like the Insty-pic and Snap-face, people get a dose of Pheromones every time somebody ‘likes’ their posts or pics. So, it’s no wonder Cal is hooked. Honey, ain’t much to like about Cal face to face. And I know I ain’t tellin you nuthin you don’t already know! But, out there in Cyber Land, he’s a goddam hero. All the guys in My-Alago say that!

Claire had witnessed the change over a period of time. Her husband Cal used to be a gregarious, easy going guy with a live and let live attitude. But it seemed the more time he spent with his friends at the My-Alago Pub, the more his opinions became politicized. With the continuous drone of Fox & Friends with their latest skewering of Obummer in the background, Cal became popular for his ability to recite the anti-Obama talking points with enthusiasm.

He did more to divide the Races than anyone! Cal would declare with authority as he raised his beer mug in a salute to other Right Thinking bar patrons. He really didn’t know what that expression meant, but it was always met with a roar of approval and back slapping from his exclusively White friends. This encouraged him to go further.

And I’m sick of all these talk show hosts bullying our President during their so-called Comedy skits. I’m boycotting SNL, CNN and the rest. Fox is the only place you can hear the REAL story! More cheers and backslapping led to the next level.

I say if somebody talks trash about President Trump, I’m going to follow his advice and ‘Knock the Crap out of them! That would always get him a free drink from an admiring My-Alago patron..

Hours pass and Claire sits alone in the dark. The glow of her cigarette, the last in the pack is the only light in the room. Don Lemon has finished his latest tirade against Trump including the account of the recent death threat against Lemon and CNN. A Trump supporter called in the threat saying he was going to shoot the entire CNN staff because of their FAKE NEWS. Anderson Cooper was also wrapped up, leaving his audience wondering why anyone would buy a gun, oppose gay marriage or most of all vote for Donald Trump.

Cal had been gone for hours and Claire knew the My-Alago Pub was not even open on Sunday evenings. He left their double-wide after spending the last hour furiously typing on his laptop. Claire knew he was arguing about politics again, a fact made clear by Cal’s intermittent outbursts cursing at some Libtard named Impeachhimnow or at least, that was his Facebook identity.

BAM!!! Claire sat upright, startled at the loud noise. The last inhalation of smoke from her cigarette trapped in her lungs, unable to escape, as her fright kept her from exhaling. BAM! BAM! BAM!! Claire sprung from her chair coughing and choking as she finally expelled the burning smoke and nicotine from her lungs. She ran to the door, dropping her cigarette as she rose. There was Cal firing his AR-15 into the air seemingly in a celebratory fashion.

Claire opened the door and ran out in the night to the sounds of Pink Floyd’s Another One Bites the Dust. blaring from Cal’s car radio.

Cal! she shrieked, What the hell are you doing?

I’m exercising my 2nd Amendment Rights! he yelled over the din. Clearly drunk, he staggered firing 3 more rounds upwards. BAM! BAM! BAM!

You’re going to get arrested! Claire hissed trying not to raise her voice as if that mattered now.

Relax, Cal said softly. He too now whispered as if the commotion were someone else’s doing.

I even have it on single shot setting. Claire was not assuaged.

Come on, she pleaded, You proved your point. Let’s go inside. She feared the loud gunshots would alert the neighbors or even worse the police.. She looked Cal up and down and noticed dark stains on the forearms of his long sleeve khaki shirt.

What’s that on your shirt? she demanded. Did you spill the wine you’ve been swilling?

What, er uh, yeah! He quickly rolled his sleeves up and reached out to his wife. Come here honey, and kiss a HERO!"

What do you mean hero? she challenged, Coming home late shooting up the mobile home park and blasting that stupid song? I thought you hated that song!

Not tonight Baby! he declared. Cal staggered again and while trying to regain his balance, dropped his rifle. He bent over to retrieve it and as he did Claire noticed his hunting knife in its sheath attached to his belt. In the light from the streetlamp above, she saw that it was stained with what looked like blood.

What’s that on your knife? she said alarmed and afraid of the answer. Did you spill wine on your knife? she asked accusingly. Cal’s mood changed suddenly. He reached out and grabbed his wife by the throat.

Shut up! he said sharply, You didn’t see anything! Claire wrenched her body away trying to free herself from his grip. And, as she did, Cal again lost his grip on the rifle and it hit the ground stock first. BAM! As Claire looked on, she saw what once was the face of her husband, vanish in a blur of red, gray and black….the colors of blood, brain matter and seared bone. She felt dizzy and started to vomit into the pool of Cal-muck when…

WHOOOSH! She felt the blast behind her and was blown onto what was left of her husband finding herself eye to eye with Cal. At least it would have been, had Cal had any eyes. She rolled off gasping,