Bearing It All: Black Fall Bears, #2

By Christin Lovell

Dr. Lily Reeves knows heartbreak all too well. It’s been the driving force behind every sacrifice and every decision in her adult life.

Until she meets her mate.

Jake Nelson is a bear who knows what he wants, and he wants the extra curvy doctor. But he refuses to force her hand. He won’t claim her unless she wants him to claim her.

For Lily, that means letting go of far more than she anticipates for the chance at the happily-ever-after she desires. For Jake, that means loving a human who doesn’t feel the pull the way he does and can walk away at any time.

The one thing humans and shifters have in common is that matters of the heart are always intense, especially when lives are at stake.

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Black Fall is a small mountain town. Despite everyone knowing everyone, as this series will unveil, rarely do we know everything about everyone. We all have secrets. We all have desires. And we all have a bear to tame. 

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Christin Lovell
• Release date: Mar 14, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386878773

Book preview

Bearing It All

Chapter One

Jake

Thanks, Jane. I snagged the bag off the counter and shoved out the door. The heat swarmed me, making me miss the air-conditioned diner already. Rounding the corner of the restaurant, I froze.

Every hair on my body stood on end at the sight, warning of the dangers. There was something about the woman’s fearlessness that halted me from intervening immediately.

Well, aren’t you a honey pie of cuteness. The curvy woman squatted down beside the bear cub. Her sleeveless, blue dress clung to her upper body, revealing a nice sample of her cleavage, while the lower half flowed beautifully around her excess. She wore a high-end yellow gold chain necklace with a hand carved wooden wolf pendant.

My heart beat a little faster as she tucked her dress behind her knees, displaying her nude high heels.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Helen, Dan’s wife, frantically paced nearby. She grabbed at the roots of her strawberry blonde hair, jerking her phone from the outer pocket of her purse. Her expression revealed every ounce of her stress.

Glancing back at the cub, which had to be little Henry, I went on high alert. Helen had every right to panic. They were in public, and the woman with Henry was a complete stranger, likely a tourist, and definitely not one of us, no matter how badly I wanted her to be. My bear was at the ready, prepared to protect our clan at all costs, at any cost.

The full figured brunette ran her fingers up and down the cub’s back calmly, too calmly for a human. Listen, honey, I know you’re scared, but it’s going to be okay.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Helen continued to pace, casting sidelong glances at her son from time to time in horror. She was a human, her husband a bear shifter. Dan. She stopped mid-step. He did it again! She screamed into the phone.

I was fixated on the other half of the scene in front of me though.

Her eyes practically glittered with compassion as she stared at the cub. Now I want you to close your eyes for me. She waited for Henry to obey; he hesitated, but eventually complied with her request. Good job, honey pie. She looked over at Helen and then back at the boy. Now concentrate on walking hand in hand with your mom. You’re on two feet, putting one foot in front of the other. Your fingers are intertwined with hers. Her blonde hair is fluttering in the breeze as you tell her about what you want to do later. Her voice was soothing; she was lulling me with it at a distance. Her patience remained as she continued to put the image into the boy’s head.

Suddenly, Henry began to tremble. His fur began to recede, his claws retracted, and still, she continued to talk him through.

Oh, thank god! Helen discarded her phone and rushed to her son. The second he fully transitioned back to the boy he was, she crushed him into a hug. Thank you so much. Helen yanked the woman into her already full embrace.

The stranger smiled, accepting the stressed mother’s appreciation. I’m glad I was able to help.

Suddenly, Helen jumped back and looked around. Opening her large bag, she pulled out a pair of shorts for her naked son. Likely, Henry had shredded his clothes when he shifted unexpectedly.

Peering around, there were a few patrons roaming the sidewalk on the other side of the street, but no one paid them any mind, probably because they couldn’t see beyond the row of cars parked along the road’s edge.

Once he was clothed, the woman squatted down to the cub’s level. What’s your name, honey pie?

He gave her a big, toothy grin. I’m Henry.

She returned his smile with one of her own. It lit her eyes even more; they were reminiscent of shiny emeralds. It was a rare combination; her iris color looked better suited for a redhead, yet that made her unique and more attractive. Hi, Henry. I’m Dr. Reeves.

His eyes widened. Are you a real doctor or a bear doctor?

Her answer went straight to my heart and grabbed hold, squeezing tighter than any damned boa constrictor. A good doctor helps everyone they can, whether it’s a boy or a bear. She gently pressed a finger to his chest. Or, in your case, both. Straightening, she sharpened her tone slightly, emitting authority. Now, if this happens again, I want you to do what you did just now with me. Okay, Henry?

The boy nodded his head profusely. Okay. Excitement lit his voice.

She winked at him; the kid beamed up at her with adoration. She’d definitely earned a fan.

Turning to Helen, she gave the frazzled mother a reassuring smile. He’s okay, Mom. These things happen in the beginning until they’re able to control it. The best thing you can do is remain calm and talk him through it. Help him envision himself as a boy rather than a bear and the shift will happen. She spun and leaned into the passenger side of the shiny red convertible Mustang. Digging around in a bag, she popped up when she had what she wanted. Passing what looked like a business card to Helen, she placed her hand atop the woman’s. I’m taking over Dr. Willowstock’s practice. If you need anything, even just a calming voice to walk you through this, give me a call.

Abruptly, Helen threw her arms around Dr. Reeves. Thank you so much. She leaned back, gently shaking the doctor with her enthusiasm. You’re an angel. The clan is going to be so happy to finally have a doctor that knows.

We didn’t tell those we didn’t have to. Dr. Willowstock was nice enough, but he was no-nonsense. He didn’t believe in fairytale or folklore. The shifters in town went to Starla, the nursing student daughter of a shifter three towns over, but she was still learning, and on humans no less. She couldn’t prescribe medications; she could only tell someone if they needed to see Dr. Willowstock.

Getting a prescription from the man was every shifter’s nightmare. Our metabolism was at least twice that of an athletic human’s. We needed double or triple the normal dose of any medication, which meant we often had to go to him twice or suck it up and stick it out until nature took its course. Thankfully, despite still being susceptible to most of the common viruses and bacteria humans were, we healed at a slightly faster rate. But a cold was a cold and five days of misery versus fourteen was still five days of misery.

Her brows furrowed; she was taken aback. Oh, honey, Dr. Willowstock knows. That’s the whole reason why he chose me. I minored in Pathology, so I can do most of the lab work in the office with the right equipment and not raise suspicion over off-the-chart results.

Helen put a little distance between them. I... She shook her head negatively. I’m sorry. I don’t understand.

That made two of us. The old man never said a word. If he knew, then he had purposefully given us human doses, which meant he didn’t care about making his shifter patients better.

Anger surged inside me. My bear growled, echoing my rage. Dropping the bag of food, I rounded into their line of vision. "What do you mean he knows? If that’s the case, then he’s been doing us a disservice."

To her credit, she didn’t flinch as I stalked towards her, and I wasn’t a small man or bear. Nearly a foot taller than her, my 6’3" frame dwarfed hers.

She faced me with the same patience she had Henry. I can see why you feel that way, and perhaps Dr. Willowstock should have spoken up, but, number one, he didn’t want to run anyone off; number two, he couldn’t ask every patient whether or not they were a shifter without outing you, and, even if someone told him they were, he doesn’t know how to treat them. Your metabolism is close to three times that of a human’s because of calories burned during the shift, whereas Henry’s is only slightly above a human’s. Your metabolism multiplies as you age, peaking at sixty before declining again, which coincides with shifting more often as you age but lessening as you reach your geriatric years, but even in shifters, it’s different between male and female. Believe it or not, the man was trying to protect you, because, shifter or not, you’re both vulnerable to overdoses; it’s just that a shifter would recover quicker and might not need his or her stomach pumped. But damage is still plausible. Her brows furrowed as she searched me. Dr. Willowstock is a good doctor with excellent ethics. He refused to play Russian Roulette with your lives and put off retirement for three years until he found me.

Well, fu- My gaze shot to Henry.

The boy pointed at me. I know what you were going to say.

Okay! Helen’s eyes widened. Jake, I will let you take over this conversation. Dr. Reeves, thank you. I’m sure we’ll be seeing you again soon. She grabbed Henry’s hand, giving it a jerk. Say good-bye, Henry.

Bye, Dr. Reeves. He only got a half wave in before his mother dragged him away.

Her eyes sparkled as she watched the boy retreat. She sincerely cared about him; her adoration was genuine. Bye, Henry. She waved as the boy gazed back at her; the way he looked at her proved he’d do anything the pretty doctor said.

Fuck! My heart skipped a beat as she turned her attention back to me. The woman was gorgeous and- Oh, fuck. I had been too distracted to realize it was happening.

My bear rose up, clawing at my insides, fighting to get free. Every fiber of my being, of our souls, screamed for me to claim her. My muscles flexed and rolled as I fought the urge to pounce on her. She knew of us, but she was still human.

Her features turned down as she took me in. Are you okay, Jake? Her brows creased with the same concern she’d given Henry.

Oh, damn, the way her full, rose tinted lips pursed as she concentrated on me made me want to haul her against me so I could thoroughly tease and taste them. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I was being rude. I knew I was gawking at her, but I couldn’t help it. The way my body, my bear, called for her-

Jake? She cocked her head, attempting to meet my gaze.

My heart pounded and my cock pulsed, ready to take her at a moment’s notice. Fuck. This wasn’t good. A thousand considerations ran through my mind. For all I knew, she could know how to treat us but never want to be with one of us.

One look into her bright green eyes and I knew that wasn’t true. No doctor could dedicate their research to a species they despised.

My groin tightened painfully as I recalled how she’d handled Henry. I could easily picture her doing the same with our own cubs the first time they shifted. She would be an amazing mother.

My gaze slid down to her soft belly. To see her stomach swollen, carrying our baby would be the most beautiful sight in the world. The desire took root within me, shooting upwards, consuming my thoughts, erasing all common sense. You’re my mate.

Fuck! Shoot me now.

Oh. I see. Her voice was steady, as if the news hadn’t affected her in the slightest. She issued a single nod of acknowledgement. Well, I was on my way to buy a cup of coffee when I ran into Henry. I’m afraid I will have to skip that and go right to the closing.

Closing? I cringed inside. What the fuck was wrong with me? I sounded like a damned parrot.

I’m not just taking over Dr. Willowstock’s practice. He’s signing everything over to me. It’s a buyout in ways, but at a steep discount. I’m afraid I need to meet him at the lawyer’s office right now, but you can buy me a cup of coffee afterwards. If that goes well, I’ll let you mark me, but no one gets into my big girl panties for a minimum of three dates. She chuckled lightly, teasingly. Again, though, she seemed unfazed by the news. Was she even attracted to me?

I wasn’t a model, but I wasn’t an ogre either. Fuck. All I wanted to do was strip her abundant curves bare, taste every delightful inch of her and then fuck her senseless.

But I refused to claim any woman who didn’t want me in some capacity.

My bear roared with disapproval, attempting to strengthen his escape.

I easily quieted him. I wouldn’t force her, no matter how understanding she was or how badly I wanted her.

Shaking my head negatively, I put a bit of space between us, to ensure I didn’t lose control. I don’t want you like that. My gaze fell to her curves. I couldn’t believe I was even capable of walking away. Fuck, she was luscious and ripe. Her wide hips would be the perfect anchors to grip as I thoroughly drove into her. Her thighs were always touching and would crush my midsection in the most heavenly way as I went deeper, as I sucked her breasts.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! My cock ached. My hands itched to snatch her and run home with her, like some nonsensical caveman.

I see. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Jake. I’m sure I’ll see you around. Her voice cracked at the end, drawing my focus.

Taken aback, I watched, on high alert, as she rounded the car and got in. Something had happened. Something had changed during my reverie. Something was wrong.

My heart lurched. My body stiffened; my senses heightened. The need to protect her had me scanning the streets, looking for the who, or the what, that had upset her.

The Mustang’s engine revved to life. I examined her once again, but she refused to look my way. One second before she drove off, I witnessed the single tear that slid down her cheek, and somehow I knew. Deep down I just knew. It was me. I’d done something. I was the reason she was crying.

Ten minutes into finding my mate, I’d already driven her away in tears.

Fuck.

—

Chapter Two

Lily

Glancing around the office, I sighed. Dr. Willowstock had warned me that it was a small practice with the bare essentials required to get by. I had hoped he was being modest, but he wasn’t.

The fifteen hundred square foot building had three exam rooms, one restroom, an overflowing file and storage room, an overstuffed utility closet, a tiny reception with five chairs, and a narrow galley space that was dwindled by two oversized desks, one for Dr. Willowstock – me – and one for his nurse, Tracie, with an ancient all-in-one print, copy, scan, fax machine sitting between them behind the sign-in counter. The single thing I noted as the older man had given me a tour yesterday was the lack of a coffee station, a must for this curvy girl. There wasn’t even a fridge or a microwave. It was the opposite of modern, if there was such a thing. From the outdated furniture to the restrictive layout, there was nothing warm or welcoming about it. The positives were that it had good bones, available land for expansion, and had come at a ridiculously low price with a monthly payment manageable on a small-town, heavy-in-student-loan-debt doctor’s salary.

With my impending arrival scheduled months ago, Dr. Willowstock arranged for the office to be closed for two weeks while I settled in and made the changes I desired. He’d left a business card for a locally owned construction company that he assured me was reasonably priced and worked fast. I’d wanted to avoid accumulating any more debt, aside from the required amount to purchase the necessary equipment for my in-house laboratory. While I could empty one of the exam rooms and set up a closet sized workroom there, it would be my last resort.

Picking up the business card off of Dr. Willow- my desk, I dialed the number. As the phone rang, I strolled around, taking in the bland decor. The walls were painted a cream color, but were badly in need of a good scrub and/or a fresh coat of paint. I was in favor of the second option, preferably in a more vibrant hue.

Orson Construction. This is Jake. His voice sent tingles through me.

Opening and closing my mouth, I was taken aback. My mate had been the last person I’d expected to answer my call. Uh, hi, Jake. My heart skipped a beat merely saying his name.

Dr. Reeves? His shock was a relief. At least we’d been in the same boat with expectations.

A nervous chuckle escaped me. "Yes. Um, hi. I was hoping to get a quote for a possible remodel and expansion on Dr. Will- my practice building." I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around the reality that I’d done it. I’d dove in, headfirst; I’d packed up all of my belongings, moved states away from familiar, and was praying that I would swim rather than sink. While Dr. Willowstock had been up front about everything, down to the earnings reports for the past five years, I was new. His patients’ willingness to seek treatment from me couldn’t be calculated. The scary truth was, this could all go horribly wrong and lead me down the path to bankruptcy.

My stomach knotted as the weight of my move finally caught up with me. There was no going back now.

Sure. I mean, of course. He sucked in a deep breath. I’m at a job site about thirty minutes outside of town. Can I meet you at your office in an hour?

Hope bubbled in my chest; anticipation had my heart picking up its pace. That would be great. Thank you. How I remained so calm I would never know.

He hesitated, as if he wanted to say something more, but eventually gave a quick, See you then, and hung up.

Dropping my cell on my desk, I rushed to the bathroom. I hadn’t expected to see him today. Looking in the mirror, I winced as I gave myself a thorough once-over. It was already three-in-the-afternoon. Most of my make-up had worn off; with the exception of my skin appearing more even in tone, it looked as if I wasn’t wearing anything on my face. My only saving grace was that my concealer still hid the bags beneath my eyes from a restless night. Becoming a business owner was stressful.

My gaze slid down my abundant curves, over my simple gold jewelry and the true blue tank top hugging my upper body to the tattered-and-distressed style skinny jeans glued to my pear-shaped lower half. Twisting, I checked to ensure the pants still squeezed my rear asset in an appealing way. My behind was big, wide, rounded in a slightly droopy manner, and was just plain massive.

Extra curvy described me well. I had a puffy belly that, even when contorting backwards over the mattress, didn’t flatten, wide hips that were twice the width of my upper stomach, thick thighs that always touched and a butt the size of Texas. I was overflowing with oomph in my bottom half, yet the girls had zero oomph. I hadn’t been blessed with a wonderful rack. I had a decent handful - and not a centimeter beyond a handful - and I could rock a padded push-up bra like no other, but they wouldn’t win any awards.

At one point I was embarrassed by my figure. I felt that I lacked femininity without fuller breasts and over-compensated with a closet full of timeless A-line dresses and skirts. Thankfully, I sobered on that front and realized that breasts didn’t make one feminine. A woman’s sex appeal was about more than the size of her assets, or lack of; it was about her attitude, her confidence. How she carried herself was everything.

That was the single piece I never faltered on: I carried myself with as much dignity and grace as I could muster. I wasn’t a size two, and never would be. I didn’t have the body every man dreamed of undressing. But I’d be damned if I would spend a single minute ashamed of a body that got me through without failing once.

During my residency, I witnessed what disease stole. The majority of terminal patients appeared pale, gaunt, sallow. They were lifeless corpses, their souls halfway to the other side already. They were never pleasingly plump; they were flesh and bones. And I learned from them; I learned from watching their journey towards demise. Even if a cancer patient started out obese, by the end, they were a fraction of the person they used to be. Chemotherapy is the fastest way to lose your curves. The fact that I still had an abundance of them became the blessing I was thankful for each day.

There are some things you can’t forget. There are some patients I will never forget. They did so much more for me than I ever did for them. They taught me the greatest lesson of all: appreciate what you have today because you never know when it will be taken from you.

I learned to appreciate my body, to love my body, the way it was. It didn’t mean I didn’t strive for a healthier version of myself. It meant I didn’t punish my body for being the way it was, especially knowing all the germs, viruses, bacteria and diseases it busted its ass fighting every day.

I no longer carried shame when it came to my figure or the numbers associated with it. I was proud, proud to be alive, well, and vivaciously kicking about in this world.

Even more so now that I had met my mate.

I’d studied the science behind a shifter’s attraction to their mate for years. I was sensitive to the intensity of it, the way the shifter’s senses were heightened around him or her, the way they were drawn to the person like a moth to a flame. It was more than instinct. Biologically, they were designed specifically to react, to respond, to be with that person, and together, they balanced each other, chemically and spiritually. Physically, they fit together like puzzle pieces, and I’d yet to meet a marked pair that didn’t drool over their mate’s physique.

That knowledge comforted me; it gave me a sense of security most women seemed to lack these days.

When I was younger, I would daydream about finding a shifter mate. Shifters were my world from the day I was born; I couldn’t imagine myself settling with my own kind. I wasn’t naïve enough to defy fate. I didn’t deny human men who showed interest, but, given my occupation and life’s work, I never believed a human could capture my heart.

And I was right. No human ever did.

From the moment I laid eyes on Jake, all six-foot-something of him, I’d known. Electricity seemed to simmer between us as I took him in, all the while trying to pretend like I wasn’t about to breakdown. For thirty-five years, I’d waited, I’d hoped, I’d longed and I’d prayed. Laying eyes on him had fierce emotions erupting within me. I never expected my heart to explode with so much humility. The pull was potent, mighty, formidable, far more commanding than I ever fathomed. The yearning to pounce, to wrap my arms around him, to feel him; not just to hold him, but to truly feel him, to feel his warmth, to feel the beat of his heart, to feel the power in his frame emanating strength from his animal, consumed me. I was humbled by what I felt, by what I wanted to feel, by what I knew I was going to feel, with him.

I wasn’t a woman who cried often, yet I cried when I met him. The experience stripped all of my barriers away in the blink of an eye and left me feeling raw, fragile. And for that reason alone, I was grateful that he declined my coffee offer. Despite the tears deriving from a place of utter joy, I couldn’t erase the embarrassment I’d felt. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t let his first memory of us include me sobbing like a weak human.

Jake was sexy, in an All-American country boy way. He wasn’t fat; he had a solid layer of well-developed muscle beneath his surface, but he wasn’t shredded like most shifters. There was a softness, a youthfulness, to his appearance.

Until I peered into his depths.

There was nothing innocent about what I saw there. Passion swirled in his honey brown eyes, crackling, snapping like a whip over my flesh every time his gaze roamed my curves. I could only imagine that same dark and delicious desire penetrating me as he thoroughly pounded into me.

A shudder worked through me. My pussy clenched and my breasts swelled as the thought took shape.

Glimpsing at my reflection, I saw the flush that rouged my cheeks. My hair fell to a slight wave just above my breasts. Oh dear. My nipples pressed through my layers. Of all the days not to wear a padded bra. The see-through lace brassier offered more support than coverage. My tank top was a decent thickness for summer, but it wasn’t designed to camouflage arousal.

I didn’t know what he meant when Jake said he didn’t want me like that. Frankly, at the time, I’d been in a rush to escape before I made a fool of myself. But, thinking about it in an erotic sense, I hoped it meant he was an alpha who did things his way. There was nothing hotter than a shifter who knew what he wanted and went after it.

Except an alpha shifter who knew what he wanted with his mate and went after it.

Sweet almighty, I wanted to break all of my own rules. Heat ensconced my womb, licking my core, shoving me into a state of desperation. I waved my hand around in front of my face, trying to cool myself off a bit, but it proved useless. Unlike most humans, I was hyperaware of the pull. When I was younger, I naïvely thought I would enjoy a game of cat and mouse, making my mate chase me.

But right now, if he said to strip, I’d do it.

And that was scary for an independent woman who prided herself on not being easy, clingy or codependent.

—

Chapter Three

Jake

My bear damn near rejoiced at the opportunity to be close to her again, and I couldn’t blame him. The dream I had of her last night would bring any shifter to his knees. I’d been in a state of cranky arousal all damned day.

The truth was, seeing Bear and Bryn so happy together took its toll. My best friend and I were the same age. Our pasts were different, but I hoped our futures looked the same. I wanted what he had.

I wanted Dr. Reeves in my bed, writhing beneath me and screaming my name, every night, and still in my bed, with messy hair and no clothes on, every morning.

Fuck. I adjusted my cargo shorts again. They were forgiving, but not forgiving enough for my need today. I’d had to hold damn near everything in front of my crotch on each job site