#BeFriendurMind

By Kirti Daryanani

Dear Over-thinker, Over-worrier and Over-whelmed,
Sitting with your life feels like a challenge, right? Relationships not going the way you anticipated? Did you try meditation or yoga and struggled? That’s okay, it’s normal. You see, the mind affects all your relationships and if they suck, the odds are it’s because you feel negative about yourself and don’t realize it. Are you ready to do something about it by doing nothing? You will find out how when you start with this book. It has bite size reminders based on an old teaching known as the Lojong training, with a bit of a facelift for today's modern lifestyle to watch your thoughts. Your thoughts never end, nor do your responsibilities or concerns. In fact, the more you try to stop them, the worse it gets. Discover how to observe your surroundings and prepare your mind for meditation, instead of jumping in and getting disappointed. Train the mind to strengthen self-awareness and be with what is. Feel clarity to be yourself to take effective actions and decisions. Ready?

#BeFriendurMind is about how to choose to live one's life. The book was written in an imagination of you walking with me as I was discovering self-truth and trust. For the past 3 years, my travels have been an experiential education practicing the reminders in this world. Through my wanderings, I documented the self, using self-inquiry to observe the thoughts, feelings and contemplated on the spiritual practice with artistic photography and drawings for self-expression, which are shared in the book.

The book is divided in four sections. It begins with a brief introduction on how my journey began. The second section focuses on various relationships related to the value of a spiritual practice. The third section of this book is divided into 59 bite-size personal reflections with corresponding travel photos along with 59 reminders for daily practice to set your intention and contemplation for the day. Finally, I share information regarding #BeFriendurMind online support programs and workshops to act as an extra support and re-enforce the practice.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kirti Daryanani
• Release date: Jan 4, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370651214

Kirti Daryanani

Author, Facilitator and Educator of #Befriendurmind, she shares her years of experience to inspire you to live truthfully and develop practical solutions to all relationships that matter to you, most importantly your relationship with yourself. She gently prepares you to sit with the self: train the mind, increase self-awareness and discover the I’M in IMpossible. With over 10 years of experience applying yoga as a therapy and as a mindful method for relationships and with an extensive education backgrounding including business and international relations, she breaks the practice down step-by-step for you. She amusingly turns the mindFULLness into MindLESSness, so expect a sassy, zen attitude as you work with her adapting this ancient method for modern lifestyles. Kirti currently runs an online Zen Studio with programs: Myndsnaps: 33 Days to build a free relationship with yourself Zengrams: 4 weeks for a conscious relationship with difficult relationships #Befriendurmind Workshops Ready to #Befriendurmind? Contact: www.kirti168.com - Linkedin: KirtiDaryanani and social media @kirti168

Book preview

Disclaimer

All rights reserved. © iLaunch LLC .

This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly regarding any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

Cover Illustration Copyright © 2017

by Kirti168 Cover design by iLaunch LLC.

Book design and production by Kirti. Main Editing by Kirti.

All Photographs by Kirti Daryanani (Kirti168).

2nd edition 2020

Quotes of Alice in Wonderland, taken from goodreads.com

Dedication of Merit

May all Beings have happiness & the causes of happiness

May all Beings be free from suffering & the causes of suffering

May all Beings never be parted from freedoms true joy

May all Beings remain equanimity

Free from both attachment and aversion.

The Four Immeasurables

(Om yoga, New York)

Dedication

To all sentient beings

I believe the way to change life is to reach within our soul.

Recognize that no matter how much technology evolves,

People's lives will fall apart and Give a new opportunity to look at life from a different perspective.

We can choose to be our biggest friend or worst enemy.

Who we choose to be determines how the world will be tomorrow.

May our actions, thoughts and emotions benefit all beings

.

Contents

Disclaimer

Dedication of Merit

.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

#1. Remember the 4 Basics

#2. Notice everything as a Dream

#3. Examine the Nature of Unborn Awareness

#4. Free Yourself even from the Cure

#5. Return to a Beginner's Mind

#6. In Post-Practice, Be like a Child in a Dream

#7. Send & Receive Alternately-Move with a Flowing Breath

#8. Your Difficulties are Gifts

#9. Remind the Self to #BeFriendurMind

#10. Unusual Yourself

#11. The Solution is in the Problem-Have a Compassionate Heart

#12. In Blame take Self-Responsibility

#13. Be Grateful to Everyone

#14. Whatever Arises-Stay with Awareness

#15. 4 Practices are the Best Methods

#16. Meet the Unexpected with Practice

#17. Practice with 5 Strengths

#18. Make the Most out of Your Life

#19. Don't let this Decide Who You Are

#20. Trust Yourself

#21. Don't Take it Seriously

#22. Every Distraction is Ground for Practice

#23. Feed Yourself Commitment, Patience & Humility

#24. Don't be a Fake

#25. Don't Pick on Others Faults

#26. Don't Scrutinize Others-You Don't Know Better

#27. Don't Avoid or Run from Your Own Problems

#28. Abandon Hope and Expectations

#29. Let Go of Self-Toxification

#30. Everyday is a Different Day

#31. Don't be Malicious

#32. Don't Wait to Thrash Someone

#33. Don't Make Everything so Painful-Be Forgiving

#34. Your Life-Your Responsibility

#35. Slow Down

#36. Be Straight Forward

#37. Don't Turn Positive Circumstances into Negativity

#38. Don't Exploit Other People's Pain

#39. Maintain a Single Intention

#40. Recalibrate with the Single Intention

#41. Every Day is a Day to Practice

#42. No Matter What, Patience is Everything

#43. Stay Committed to Befriending Your Mind

#44. The Breath of Emotional Hang-Ups

#45. Don't Take it for Granted

#46. Don't Lose Sight-No Excuse, it's Always Available

#47. Practice Wholeheartedly

#48. Every Aspect of Life is Practice

#49. Stay Close to your Painful Emotions

#50. Continue to Practice, Despite the Circumstances

#51. This is the Right Time

#52. Don't Misinterpret- Practice Humility

#53. Stay Steady and Confident

#54. Be Dedicated with Gentleness

#55. Free Yourself through Curiosity and Self-Inquiry

#56. Don't Play Victim

#57. Don't Be Jealous

#58. UN-Manipulate Yourself

#59. Don't Expect Approval or Recognition

Chapter Four

Introduction



image2.jpg

Kathmandu, Nepal 2014.

And what is the use of a book, thought Alice,

Without pictures or conversation?

- Lewis Carroll, Alice Adventures in Wonderland

The book was written in an imagination of you walking with me as I was discovering self-truth and trust through #befriendurmind.

The book is divided in four chapters:

Chapter 1: A brief introduction on how it all began.

Chapter 2: Focuses on various relationships related to the value of a spiritual practice.

Chapter 3: Divided into: personal reflections during my travels and quietness; 59 reminders for daily practice to set your intention; and contemplation for the day.

Chapter 4: About Kirti and Contact information for workshops, courses, speaking events and consultations

For the past 3 years, my travels have been an experiential education practicing the reminders in this world. Through my wanderings, I documented the self, using self-inquiry to observe the thoughts, feelings and contemplated on the spiritual practice with artistic photography and drawings for self expression, which are shared in the book.

Before you continue, please forgive me, as all the photos displayed are of different size and format. I never knew at the time, this book was going to unfold.

Thank you for understanding.

Chapter One

How it All Began



image3.jpg

Cinque Terre, Italy 2016.

That Coffee Chat



image5.jpg

Madrid, April 2017.

Not long ago, in an Amsterdam café called Screaming Beans, a young man asked when would I write a book on how to deal with relationships. Caught of guard, I looked at him and wondered where was mine, I need one, too! At the time, I had forgotten that such a book did exist.

In 2008, I was asked to study a thin book, Atisha's Lojong Practice, focused on training the mind and heart. For years, I had attempted to understand this book intellectually and struggled.

By 2014, I had tucked the book away and set off to travel the world. At the time, I wanted to understand how to be friends with myself; I had felt I had no right to teach spirituality, because of my own confusions and conflicts.

In February 2017, during the stillness of winter, this book had found its way back and as I glanced through the slogans (reminders), I had come to understand all this time; I was growing into living this practice. All the experiences and human connections, I was making along the way were about this. Yet I had not made the connection.

For a long time, I resisted and felt confused to write a book. I wasn't inspired to write an eat, pray, love kind of a book, rather one that would serve a beneficial purpose to myself as well as for others. So this little book of instructions was borne, a loose interpretations of Atisha's Lojong practice for this modern world; adapted and broken down into daily practices.

The only wish my heart desires is for us to be kinder to each other. May it bring you honesty, compassion and kindness into your life and inspire your relationships.

Namasté

Alice in Wonderland



image6.jpg

Amsterdam, July 2015.

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'

'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.

'I don't much care where-' said Alice.

'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

'-So long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.

'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough."

− Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland.

This book could not have been possible without paying homage to cheeky Alice, from Alice in Wonderland. To connect the dots, I will try to create a brief summary, since there is far too many stories of Alice linked with my travels, and that is another book in itself. Only recently I discovered no Zen practitioner escapes the rabbit hole and each relate to