The Art of the Steal

By Cynthia Zaitz Ph.D. and Aimon Ott

The Art of the Steal is a work of fiction that is built upon a primarily factual foundation. It is written from the point of view of Aimon Niddy Ott — Trump’s Id, as imagined by Dr. Cynthia Zaitz. Ott glorifies his every disastrous thought, choice, and action with exaggerated expressions of braggadocio and victimhood, with the occasional interjected comments and corrections from Zaitz.

The Art of the Steal covers Ott’s strong influence by prosperity pastor Norman Vincent Peale, his daily schedule, his blatant racism, his constant criticism of the media, many of his foreign and domestic deals, his numerous relationships with shady characters, his admiration for Vladimir Putin, and more. There are cartoons throughout that highlight Ott’s insatiable greed, unapologetic self-delusion, constant need for approval, and incredible narcissism.

Although taking an imaginary trip through AIMON Ott’s psyche does engender some empathy for the man, in general the book is overwhelmingly irreverent and disrespectful -- which seems appropriate in terms of the outrageously irreverent and disrespectful behavior we have seen from the 45th President of the United States.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 21, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543918595

Book preview

© 2017 Aimon Niddy Ott

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

ISBN: 978-1-54-391859-5

by Cynthia Zaitz, Ph.D.

To my husband Daniel and my stepmother Lula for their loving encouragement and patience.

An insightful vivisection on the cult of personality, cutting apart and laying bare the scattershot components that comprise a human being whose ascendancy to the highest office in the land represents one of the greatest mistakes in American history.

~ Alan Spencer, an American television writer and producer, known for creating the 1980s satirical police series Sledge Hammer!. He was one of the youngest people ever to join the Writers Guild of America, writing for television at the age of fifteen. He is a script doctor for feature films. ~

The Art of the Steal! is a quick and fun read. It is incisive, irreverent, and over-the-top. It is really an abridged history of the Donald Trump candidacy and presidency (thus far) disguised as political satire. I enjoyed it!

~Daniel A. Glatter, Concerned American and unabashedly biased husband of the author. ~

THE ART OF THE STEAL gives us a cracked look into the psyche of a man who bulldozed his way into a job far exceeding his skill set. Zaitz skewers the hubris, the cruelty, and the appalling stupidity of the man while simultaneously celebrating the stunning absurdity of the situation. We laugh so we won't cry.

~Jason Heil~

by Cynthia Zaitz, Ph.D.

I’d like to thank the following wonderful people:

Rebecca for being there for me when the grief over the election was overwhelming; Sally A. Morgan for her encouragement and terrific advice; Daniel Grammer for some top-notch editing; Julie Robbins for giving me such kind support and a great platform from which to start; Ellen, who has supported my efforts from the beginning; Anonyone13 for such skillful and creative photos and video editing; Rich Vaden, Wormy Wilson, and Gabriel CiFuentes for bringing Trump! My Country ‘Tis Of Me! To life; Tina and Anthony, Keyon Huggins, and Scott Nordell for their common sense and ready support; Alan Spencer, Jason Heil, and the millions of other courageous people for inspiring me with their courage to take a stand and reminding me that we are all together in this fight for democracy; the ‘lame-stream media who are, in fact, dedicated professionals (like Rachel Maddow, Laurence O’Donnell, Richard Engel, Joy Reid, and countless others) who search for the truth – even when they don’t like what they find, and who stand up to lawsuits and death threats with great courage; comedians who show us how bad things really are, but manage to make us laugh and give us hope when we would otherwise be despondent (especially SNL, Kate McKinnon, Alec Baldwin, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Myers, and so many more); ministers who preach unity and the blessings of diversity instead of those who promote or ignore racism and violence towards women; women courageously speaking out about abuse - causing their abusers to face the consequences of their actions; US soldiers who risk their lives everyday to protect us; and honest politicians who are fighting to save our democracy from the destructive forces of corrupt men and women who put profit over country.

Introduction To The Art Of The Steal!

Ott’s Triumph

Cartoon: The 45th President of The United States

Foreword:

Me And Norman Vincent Peale

Peale’s Prosperity Principles

Stealing: A Peek At My Week

Money Is The Ultimate Scorecard

Cartoon: TrumpDragon

Can You Believe It? I’m Actually The President!

Stealing A Peak At My Week

Psychologist Peter Collett Studies My Famous Face

I’m Such A Great President and Speaker -I Should Be On Mount Rushmore

Stealing!

I Deserve To Keep Whatever I Can Steal

Cartoon: Russian Money Trail

People Are Very Impressed By My Confidence And Strength

Even My Handshake is Famous

International Steals

India

Indonesia

The Philippines

Azerbaijan

Media Complaints About My Success

Putin Likes Me

I Am The First Successful Businessman President

The Elements Of The Steal

I Get Others To Take The Risks! If They Screw Up - I Blame Them

Cartoon: Trump Solving Personnel Issues

Blame A Convenient Loser

You’re Fired!

I Never Have To Worry About Money

Women Love Me

I Surround Myself With The Best people

Cartoon: Generic Trump Associate

Helping Oppressed Rich White People

No One Uses The Power Of Misdirection Better Than Me!

I Know What I’m Talking About - I Have An Excellent Brain

Cartoon: TrumpScarecrow

I Awe People Bigly With My Presidentialness

Get The Real News From The Pulitzer Prize-Worthy National Enquirer And Fox And Friends

I Am Better At Strategy Than Anyone In The World!

My Loose Management Style

I’m A Master Manipulator

I Use My Influence To Win

Cartoon: Ivanka in Putin’s Chair

I Use My Influence to Help My Children

I’m Not Afraid to Bullsh^t!

It’s Not Lying If I Convince Myself It’s True

My Name Is Worth Billions!

I Want My Name On Everything

Cartoon: Ott Tower

I Sell Extravagance And Exclusivity

I Love Being Rich

I Don’t Really ‘Do’ Charity

Billionaire Nick Hanauer

How To Get Media Coverage!

I Am The Patriot-In-Chief

Cartoon: The Statue Of Trump-erty

I Am The Marketing Master

Cartoon: Trump Blowing Up The 1st Amendment

Hurricane Harvey and Joe Arpaio

Las Vegas

Puerto Rico

My Glorious Announcement

Take A Knee

If I Want It To Be True - It’s True!

Get Away With As Much As Possible!

Cartoon: Believe Me - Fingers Crossed

I Never Give Away Money

When They Sue You - Sue Them Back Harder!

Russia

People Are Begging To Be Taken Advantage Of Extras

Cartoon: Trump and Putin

Fight Dirty

Cartoon: Hacker Zhirinovsky

Cartoon: Trump Hearts Jong Un

Resources:

The Pledge of Allegiance Redux

About Cynthia Zaitz, Ph.D.

by Cynthia Zaitz, Ph.D.

When Donald Trump’s Id contacted me in a dream and begged me to help him write a book in which he could tell the world exactly what he thinks about things, I realized it was a great opportunity for me to tell the world exactly what I think about Trump. His Id was sad because he didn’t have a name, so I suggested he call himself ‘Aimon Niddy Ott’ and told him that it meant ‘strong golden god’ in ancient Gaelic - he loved it.

For the most part what I have written is based on fact, and I have included a resource section because, unlike our current president, I believe in the value of doing research and fact-finding in order to get as close to the truth as possible.

I left most of what Aimon dictated intact in order to get a better sense of what drives him on a core level, except for his constant swearing, which got on my nerves. What I discovered is that Trump seems to be driven by ideas and beliefs that are not connected to reality, and of which he’s not consciously aware. I also discovered that he probably lacks a Super Ego (a moral compass); Trump’s morals actually appear to be quite fluid and dependent upon whatever will bring him the most money.

Since Aimon doesn’t read, he’s unaware that I inserted some of my own unflattering writings, opinions, and cartoons. I guess you could call this a lopsided collaboration - particularly because, as the editor, I had final say over what was included in the book.

I tried to listen to Aimon without too much judgment - to try to follow his strange logic. While I do feel the process gave me a little more empathy for Trump’s crippling fears, it also deepened my belief that America is being led by a morally bankrupt man who: is completely ruled by greed and irrational beliefs, thrives on controversy and public attention, is hyper-sensitive to criticism, has a strong desire for vengeance for petty grievances, and has a narcissistic ego that insulates him from reason. This does not bode well for democracy.

Ott’s Triumph

THIS IS CLEARLY THE MOST IMPORTANT BOOK YOU WILL EVER READ BECAUSE OTT WROTE IT, OTT IS THE BEST STEALMAKER IN THE UNIVERSE, AND BECAUSE OTT HAS A GREAT BRAIN AND KNOWS EVERYTHING. PERIOD!

- OTT’S TRIUMPH DEFINITELY NOT WRITTEN BY OTT!

Cartoon: The 45th President of The United States

I’M GOING TO MAKE BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM BEING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES - THE BIGGEST STEAL OF MY LIFE - BELIEVE ME!

"The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good