Unifying Differences Across Borders

By Carla Monarca

Having traveled abroad to many different regions of the world, sparked my interest in learning about different cultures. In order to fully understand people holding dissimilar customs, beliefs, and values, I had to put myself in their shoes by, in a way, becoming them. This would be done through both observations of consistent patterns, and mirroring their lifestyles. Immersing in any culture at any given time should be experienced by taking in a culture through both a fish, as well as a bird’s eye perspective; meaning, in order to fully grasp the true understanding of any questionable aspect to life, people must find ways to wear someone else shoes and be in sync, as well as make close observations from a distance. This practice can be done interchangeable and should be done consistently.
Although my encounters overseas has allowed me to grow in more ways than one, and has taught me to appreciate the very little things the average person takes for granted, I still find myself in challenging situations; sometimes being quite emotionally draining. Despite this though I am able to find my way out each and every time. Fluency is definitely apparent in every aspect to my everyday life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carla Monarca
• Release date: Nov 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370519590

Carla Monarca

My name is Carla Valpeoz and I have a Master’s in Social Justice and Conflict Transformation. I have studied and worked in different countries over the past twelve years. I currently live in the United States. Exchanges with diverse cultures brought me to working directly with immigrants; teaching English and pushing for policies that would ultimately benefit them and give them more rights.

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Abstract

Having traveled abroad as anyone moving to a foreign country and deciding to live there for a certain amount of time, it may become difficult to find understanding between yourself and what you’re being exposed to. Things may feel out of place and wrong. Of course though, this is only an illusion, and the reality is that eventually that which is experienced becomes absolutely normal.

I experience this first-hand when I go through a period of culture shock; the sense of confusion and the feeling of being alone in a place not like that of the familiar. Although I’ve been able to make friends of different cultures on my travels, mainly due to my out-going and positive attitude, I’ve find myself at times to be misreading due to language barriers and the ways in which I express myself. Occasionally, I feel unable to explain my thoughts and emotions at all for fear of not being able to do so clearly.

If I were in my own country, being the United States, it would be less likely that I would feel discomfort, unless of course, I’m experiencing reverse culture shock; challenges adjusting back to my old way of life at home, but now seems so out of place and foreign.

It’s assumed that once returning home, you’ll easily find those who you can easily relate to, due to speaking the same language and having had connections before leaving, but the distance and time spent away can really have an affect on people’s views and ways of being. What I mean by this is that you naturally would have gone through many changes due to the challenges and interactions you had abroad. Adjusting back into your previous home with these emotional or mental alterations of perceptions may make you feel a little out of place where you find difficulty connecting with others on common ground. Those back home might have gone through some transitions as well, though in a completely different way, or these individuals may simply feel as if you abandoned them for too long.

Either way, the strong emotions commonly felt when stepping into a new culture, and then stepping back into your past, are not going away until they are faced head on. The how is the question.

Although my encounters overseas has allowed me to grow in more ways than one, and has taught me to appreciate the very little things the average person takes for granted, I still find myself in challenging situations; sometimes being quite emotionally draining. Despite this though, I work hard at finding a way out. Fluency is definitely apparent in every aspect to my everyday life. Being conscious and in tune to how I’m feeling and being able to connect those feelings with what I’m experiencing aids in the ability to step away and analyze the situation deeply. This isn’t the only approach I take because every situation is unique. What's important though is to move towards a better state, while at the same time, learning and growing each and every time.

Learning how to deal with Culture Shock, and overcoming Reverse Culture Shock enables me to become self-aware and open-minded to all pieces of a cultural puzzle, and therefore, placing myself in a unique position for self-growth and distribution of knowledge to those I meet as life unfolds before me.

What can only be gained from living and/or working overseas for a significant period of time? How are individualized understandings and new learnings able to contribute to the everyday life both within and outside people’s cultures and sub-cultures? What are the tools which can be used to transition smoothly in and out of comfort? Where do those new life-changing experiences lead to?

Let’s explore this together. Let’s work at finding some techniques that will enable us to work successfully through this process.

Autobiography

My name is Carla Valpeoz and I’ve obtained a Master’s in Social Justice and Conflict Transformation. I’ve studied and worked in an array of countries over the last ten years. Currently I live in the state of Michigan. Exchanges with diverse cultures have brought me to the constant transitioning of jobs; always looking for new challenges and ways I can expand my horizons. Self-realizations, as well as interactions with diverse groups of people, gives me a tremendous amount of appreciation towards difference. I thrust for knowledge and having opportunities to share it.

I want to serve as a bridge uniting diverse cultures and sub-cultures. By establishing connections and linking inner culturally, my hope is that doors will continue opening up, and therefore allowing room for me to make a positive and rewarding difference in the lives of many. Through sharing personal stories and using an array of methods to teach, my anticipation is that my goal will be achieved.

My friends tell me all the time that I’m a World Traveler, but my response to that is that there’s so many more countries I want to visit; that my bucket list is very long. Currently, I’m a lonely traveler, but in a way, sometimes I prefer that because I’ve gotten used to it; making my own plans and maneuvering unfamiliar spaces in ways that are unconventional. Of course, I wouldn’t mind having someone coming along, but that person would have to be adventurous and up for taking a detour once in a while.

Dedication

This is for all those who’ve encouraged me to write about my past travels and who’ve made efforts in trying to understand my new ways of thinking, as well as who’ve sincerely reflected on my words throughout  the years. Without all of you, I won’t have been motivated enough to spend numerous hours figuring out how I would, for the first time, express my feelings outwardly; finding ways to connect them to experiences in a creative way.

I hope that this will be the first of many writing pieces which focuses on educating and encouraging the public to take on opportunities to live far from the comfort of home. Thank you for being there both physically and emotionally.

Introduction

In 2004, I flew to New York to visit my brother for the Thanksgiving break. A day or two before scheduled to return home to Texas, a sense of astonishment took me by surprise. One night while at my brother’s apartment, hanging out and dancing, I lost my balance and fell. The initial pain came as if I simply twisted it. my instinct was to take a small break from all the activity, so I grabbed a seat at the couch for a few minutes.

Ten minutes later, and my brother came over to check on me. I told him I felt fine, which I really did, but he insisted in looking at my ankle and see if there was any sort of swelling. Together we took off the shoe and it wasn’t till then when it seemed more than just a sprain. Bewildered at the sight that my ankle had blown up like a big bubble and not feeling the pain due to having such a high tolerance, left us speechless. After returning to our senses and realized the critical condition, my brother and two of his friends immediately called a taxi to rush me to the hospital. Following the x-ray results and speaking to the doctor, we were notified that I broke three bones. The news put me in a state of shock. This was on top of the pain that was finally starting to set in. The doctors placed a heavy cast on my leg and discharged me with no plan of action.

What have I just experienced and what would become of this? How was I now supposed to function? How would I now work through my emotional state? Where is life taking me from here?

Think of a moment in life when you found yourself in complete shock. What was that like? What emotions ran through your head? Did you find yourself trapped in the middle and not knowing where to turn? How did that make you feel? What steps did you take to move out of this difficult time? What did you gain from this UN-planned shocking experience? How have you changed since you experienced this shock, and how do these personal alterations played a role in your day-to-day life? Do you see things in a similar or different way than before? How so?

Shock

Emotional shock is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter the sense of security, feeling abandoned and vulnerable in what appears to be an unfamiliar world. It’s a psychological condition arising in response to an alarming or troubling event; the stage at which a general adaptation syndrome normalizes stress responses.

The arrival of such response is associated with specific physiological actions, both directly and indirectly through the release of adrenaline. It aids the dependence on spontaneous or intuitive behaviors often related to conflict or escape. Becoming alert and attentive to the environment is the first step in addressing shock.

The next thing I knew, I was on a plane heading straight to my parents’ house in Texas, and a few days later I was back in the hospital having my ankle operated on. I was disorientated and felt I no longer had control of my life, immediately following my surgery. I remember the fear which overcame me;, and then the stress invading my body quickly. The entire Christmas break brought about feelings of helplessness and frustration, and I couldn’t have been more internally emotionally displaced. Though I was in constant pain, when not drugged up, the worst of it was the never-ending feelings of anger, fear, sadness, loneliness, and stress. I found myself consistently crying alone in my room, or raising my voice at those who tried to help. I reacted in ways that weren’t aiding me, nor showing appreciation towards those offering assistance, but being in such a distress space, I didn’t know how else to react. I experienced feelings of vulnerability and disembodiment.

Liminality

L

iminality deals with the space in/between in relation to the movement from a solid structure; a social or physical, to something fluid; unstructured where questions arise; turning patterns of thinking inside out, or sometimes vetoed. It’s temporary and short lived.Being in a liminal state suggests a place where bodies and minds, times and spaces, collide creating a new abstract dimension that is outside and in opposition of social reality. Some believe liminality to be a physical location, while