Death and Other Miseries

By Katyjean Leslie

“I just want to take this opportunity to say that I am a very bad shot. I don’t usually hit my target. I also can’t turn down a dare. So, armed with as big of a handful of clover as I could hold I preceded to shoot clover at the man’s gaping mouth....”
It was the 1970’s and the author is just a gangly, bony eleven-year-old girl just trying to make sense of life and the adults in it; one in particular.
‘Death and Other Miseries’ is like a literary sandwich made up of six short stories; two told in verse.
At the center are two fictional shorts with an autobiographical poem on either side. These are ‘sandwiched’ between two short stories encompassing a brief period in the authors life and two very differant but very memmorable charactors.
All-in-all, ‘Death and Other Miseries’ is an easy, quick read that is at times funny, nostalgic and thought provoking. An enjoyable read.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Katyjean Leslie
• Release date: Oct 11, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370903122

Book preview

death

and other

miseries

by

katyjean

leslie

edited

by

shannon

leslie

for Shannon

the comma queen

and my most beautiful

blessing

The works titled

Short Story

and

The Boy

are fictional.

All others are semi-autobiographical.

Names have been changed

and some blanks have been filled in

as best as the authors memory

would allow.

©2017 Katyjean Leslie

Published by Katyjean Leslie

Edited by Shannon Leslie

Smashwords Edition

The following ebook is not for resale. It is meant for

the personal enjoyment of the owner/purchaser

or the recipient it is gifted to.

No portion of this ebook can lawfully be

reproduced, in part or in full, for sale/resale.

The author has put a lot of work into the

creation of this ebook.

Please respect that effort.

Thank you.

Table of Contents

A Summer Day in 1976

The Robin-a story in verse

Short Story

The Boy

Night Skirmish-a story in verse

Summers with Alma

A Summer Day in 1976

A lot of people have tried to pack into the church. Men are dressed in black with somber ties wrapped around their necks like nooses; their dress shoes polished to a high reflective shine. The looks on their faces are as serious as their suits. There is one gentleman, though, who really stands out. I have no idea who he is but that brown suit he’s wearing looks way too big. He looks like one of us kids except he’s got on a bright green tie covered in palm trees. And God bless him, he’s wearing the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. He is truly happy to be here! I can’t think why.

The ladies, of course, are not to be out done by a bunch of men. Or each other. They look oh so grand in their black linen and silk chiffon dresses each adorned with very sparkly brooches. In fact, they sparkle from the top of those funny little hats with the veils to the tips of their black high-heeled shoes. I’m telling you, sitting in church is a bit like sitting among the stars. They are sparkling something fierce. It is very impressive. And blinding.

Being one of four girls, I notice these things. Unfortunately, it means I, too, must wear a dress; a frilly, itchy UGLY dress with white ruffles; oh, dear God! How girly can it get!? I’m eleven years old; eleven! And I’m wearing ruffles!

Well, at least we girls get to sit together. This way we get to ‘gossip’ about everyone here and seriously discuss what they are wearing. Or shouldn’t be wearing. Well, except for the guy in the green tie. We like him.

The air is a bit warm in here even with the A/C on. It’s quite flavorful too, with all the different perfumes and aftershaves. Combine that with bad breath and, ugh, someone’s body odor, you have a cocktail that can knock the fleas off a dog’s back! It might be a big church, but it’s having a bit of trouble containing the stink.

Who are all these people anyway? Did Uncle Dale have that many friends? I don’t see how. He was always mean to us. Ah! Maybe they want to make sure he’s truly dead! Why not? I looked. I wanted to know. Although, I’m still not certain. I mean, it doesn’t really look like him.

Honestly, if I didn’t have to be here I wouldn’t; the unfortunate side of being eleven. He was just so mean. He would say horrible things to us. And about us! Ok, some of it we may have deserved, like laughing at him falling inside Nannie’s front door.

Everybody knows she polishes her wood floors at the beginning of each month and every holiday. They also know she has this old rag-rug just inside the front door for folks to wipe their feet on. And, yes, it could be a bit slippery on those occasions. Such was the case that particular day. We kids made it through ok. But then, in comes