Stretched Thin: Finding Balance Working and Parenting Children with Special Needs

By April J Lisbon

This book chronicles the author’s journey as a social justice advocate for children who have been identified for special education services. In her role as a school psychologist, the author has helped many families and educational stakeholders over the years better understand the relationship between a student’s disability and its implication(s) in the classroom, at home, as well as within their local community. However, it was not until the author became the parent of two children with disabilities that she finally understood the raw emotions and concerns faced by many families of children with special needs and developmental challenges. The author provides a snapshot into her lived experiences as she comes to terms with parenting children with special needs while balancing her career as a school psychologist. The author provides the reader with suggestions on finding ways to balance parenting and/or working with children with special needs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: April J Lisbon
• Release date: Sep 16, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370702947

April J Lisbon

Born in New York but raised on the beautiful island of St. Croix, United States Virgin Islands, April J. Lisbon, Ed.D. has worked tirelessly to advocate for the needs of children. Her passion for children began when she was a teenager working at a local orphanage, which then led to her initial journey as an educator at The Florida State University. Dr. Lisbon is an active public education school psychologist and mentor to new teachers. She continues to hone her skills as a special education consultant, motivational speaker, life coach and social justice advocate for individuals with disabilities. When not trying to save the world, Dr. Lisbon enjoys spending quality time with her children, reading detective novels, traveling, and cooking.

Book preview

STRETCHED

THIN

April J. Lisbon, Ed.D.

Stretched Thin

Finding Balance Working and Parenting Children with Special Needs

By April J. Lisbon, Ed.D.

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2017 April J. Lisbon, Ed.D.

Cover design by Richie T. Sarkar

Edited by Natoshia Anderson, Ed.D.

Book design by April J. Lisbon, Ed.D.

Interior layout by Avventura Press

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my amazing sons who taught me to love life even in the face of adversity. Mommy loves you both.

INTRODUCTION

Sometimes the beginning of a story can be the hardest to write. As I am writing this chapter, I am finding it challenging to start. There is so much I want to say, but the words in my head are getting jumbled up with the words that are in my heart. The truth is, grief is a funny thing. I am battling today as to how much of myself I am willing to share, for fear that it may create conflict with those I love. Yet, if I am untrue to myself and my readers, writing this book will be a waste of everyone’s time, as I am not walking in my authentic truth. For me, the vision for you is that as you read this book, the words on every page will provide light and hope in a place that has seemed to be filled with hopelessness. It is my hope that after you finish reading this book, you will realize that we all have paths within our lives that may not be the easiest to travel. However, if we continue walking in our truth every one of us will find a place of peace and happiness so that we are able to move forward. So I’ll start first with a basic introduction so that you’ll have a glimpse as to why I have chosen to take you along with me on my writing journey of finding hope and peace, of finding some semblance of balance within my personal and professional lives.

I am Dr. April J. Lisbon and by day I am a 17-year veteran school psychologist. I’ve worked in both urban and suburban school districts with children ages 3-22. At night, on the weekend, and during school breaks, I am the mother of three beautiful children. It is because of my life’s work of working with children with special needs that I’ve decided to write this book. I want my readers to understand that even in the face of adversity, you should never give up on your dreams. Continue to breathe life into your situation until your dreams manifest themselves and become reality. It’s the one thing that has helped me retain my sanity as the gatekeeper of special education and the mother of children with special needs.

This book will be divided into four parts. The first part will allow you, the reader, to take a brief look into my life and career as a school psychologist prior to motherhood. The second part will provide the reader with a look into the lives of my children before and after they were identified with special needs and my journey to accept this newfound life that is not in my control. The third part of this book will allow the reader to walk a mile in my shoes as I try to find balance in being the parent of children with special needs and serving in the role of school psychologist. The final part of this book will focus on my coming to terms with where I am in my life as a mother and professional as well as provide the reader with some recommendations on finding peace and hope while working with a child or children with special needs. I wish to take this time to personally invite you as my guest into my world—this world of working and parenting children with special needs 24 hours/7 days per week.

PART I: MY LIFE

WHAT DO I WANT TO BE

WHEN I GROW UP?

Growing up, I’ve always been a dreamer. I’ve always believed and was told that if I put my mind to doing something and was willing to work for it, I could have anything I wanted. I just had to believe in my heart and have faith that things would work out for my good. I trusted these words of wisdom and worked hard throughout my earlier schooling, because I believed I could make a difference. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of children as I believed, even as a teenager, that the children were our future. Without them, I truly believed that this world would cease to exist.

My passion for working with children began while I was a volunteer during the latter part of my high school years. I worked with younger children in my church but never thought about working with other children outside of the church realm, because the only day I would be available to volunteer would be on Saturdays. When my great aunt initially presented me with the idea of volunteering at our local orphanage on the weekends, I immediately shied away from the idea as I felt like all the things I’d loved to do (i.e. watching TV) would be limited. As time went on and the realization that I knew that colleges wanted to see more community involvement in their prospective students, I reluctantly accepted my great aunt’s offer to volunteer at the orphanage. I didn’t have a choice at that time since I had no volunteering experience to add on my application.

My intent was to be a one-hit-wonder type of volunteer. I had only planned to volunteer for a few weeks and then call it quits. However this was not the case. The more time that I spent volunteering, the more I realized my purpose in life, and that was helping children.

During my time at the local orphanage, I found myself working with the most beautiful children who wanted love and affection. I still remember days of feeding them, changing their diapers, and putting them to bed. I remember reading stories to them and watching the older toddlers run outside to acquire fresh air. I also remember the guilt I felt leaving them, as I wondered if I would ever see them again. Although I wanted every one of my babies to eventually be adopted and placed with amazing families, there was that selfish part of me that still wanted to feel needed by them, as I felt like I had become their big sister. It was because of my babies that I started considering majors that would allow me the opportunity to work with children from birth to age three. It was then I realized that I wanted to become a speech and language pathologist.

Reflecting back, I remember during my senior year of high school I along with my other classmates was required to look through the college handbook and find schools that aligned with our desired career path. It seemed, in my opinion, like most of the classmates around me already knew what they wanted to be in life. I had ideas, but never solidified anything. The idea of being a speech and language pathologist crossed my mind, as a woman whom I respected growing up, my stepmom, had made a career of this job. Her passion for changing the lives of children who were different from what society deemed as being normal was inspiring and I felt like this was the career path for me. The only career path I refused to take was that of being a teacher or being in the field of education as I watched the emotional struggles my mom went through as a very passionate and dedicated educator. For me it seemed like teaching was a field where individuals gave their all to the discipline but received minimal to no respect from parents, students, and sometimes educational leaders. Therefore, teaching was out!

My selection of undergraduate schools was all based around one career path. In hindsight, this was a really bad move as I learned the hard way that just because you pre-select your career doesn’t always mean that you will be accepted into the program. If I were a little wiser back then, I would have given myself more flexibility and opportunities to consider more than one career path and select the one that would have given me more job versatility based on my career path. It’s one lesson that I will share with my own children if they choose to go to college—select a major that WILL afford you the opportunity to be hired in various industries. I would also teach them to NEVER select a major using a random selection process because they will end up like me; having five degrees and having used only one throughout my professional career. The decision I made as an undergraduate both positively and negatively set me up for my current career path.

Let me start by saying that life is unpredictable and downright hard. If I could change the course of my collegiate life and do it all over again, I probably would. I would have partied less in college and really worked harder to improve my grade point average in order to be accepted into my desired major. I would have saved more and depended less on living