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Not Being on a Boat
Not Being on a Boat
Not Being on a Boat
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Not Being on a Boat

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

3/5

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Rutledge, an aging, divorced man, has treated himself to a Cruise on the Mariola. The Cruise is not just any cruise. It’s the whole shebang. It's around the world. It’s a lifestyle change: G & Ts and tuxedos and cigars and cognac galore. The service is top-rate. And Rutledge’s steward, Raoul, is a good kid. But then a day trip to a Caribbean port ends in commotion. Some people don’t make it back onto the ship. Rutledge, nonplussed, makes use of the vacant machines in the Fitness Room and the unoccupied loungers on deck. But soon, crew members seem few and far between, and the menu in the Captain’s Mess significantly diminished. Rutledge gets the feeling that something is amiss. And that’s just unacceptable. Welcome aboard Esme Keith’s debut dystopic novel, a cunning parody of modern day luxury and the coveted all-inclusive vacation, from the refreshingly blunt point of view of a man unable to see beyond his own needs, with hilarious results.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateOct 1, 2011
ISBN9781460400111
Not Being on a Boat
Author

Esme Claire Keith

Esmé Claire Keith was born in Toronto in 1964. Her librarian mother supervised weekly library visits while her father read exclusively from J.B. Priestley’s list of great novels. Her older sister began to study Latin at the age of ten. A natural contrarian, Esmé gave herself to Mad Magazine, Star Trek (the original series), and the holy trinity of glam, disco, and punk. At university she finally investigated the canon and she saw that it was good. She has divided her attention ever since between high culture and pop. She currently lives in Winnipeg, where she has good access to both.

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Rating: 3.125000025 out of 5 stars
3/5

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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    My book club decided to read this book because someone who attended knew the author and thought we might be able to get her to come to the meeting. Alas, that person only came to a few meetings and then we never saw her again. Maybe it's just as well because I don't think any of us really thought much of this book and it would have been hard to discuss it with the author there.Mr. Rutledge is a retired entrepreneur who has decided to buy a stateroom on a luxury cruise ship that is going around the world. Only the very wealthy can afford to be on this boat so Rutledge is happy that he will be mingling with the right people. He is single although he was married. We never learn exactly what happened to his wife but she disappeared so effectively that Rutledge has never been able to find her. Almost everyone else is travelling with someone either a spouse or children or a girlfriend or boyfriend. Everything starts off great for Rutledge. The steward for his stateroom, Raoul, is very attentive, the amenities are great, shore excursions are exciting but slowly the system breaks down. Rutledge picks up a bug of some kind and is puking his guts up for a few days. He decides to stay on board and use the fitness facilities when they make the next landfall and is glad he did when a riot breaks out and some cruisers aren't able to get back to the ship. From then on the decline in service deepens but Rutledge still thinks that his money and moxie will keep him safe. At one point he thinks of leaving the ship but he has reasons not to return to the US and the political situation all over is tense. By the time he is sure he wants to leave there is no way to get off and the ship has run out of power. His steward has a plan to ride out the crisis and he brings Rutledge in on it because Rutledge has a scarce resource, water. You would think Rutledge would be thankful but no, he doesn't trust Raoul. The ending is as brutal as you can imagine and, although we don't know what happens to Rutledge, I can only hope that he ends up feeding the sharks in the Pacific Ocean.If the message is supposed to be that everyone can be a bastard if the situation degenerates enough then I guess the message got across. It's not something I personally believe and I thought Rutledge was an annoying, smug, s.o.b. I find it hard to give high marks to a book that has no redeeming character in it. My advice, don't waste your time on this book.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Not Being on a Boat is a wry and jaundiced commentary on the human condition: a darkly humourous allegory that presents the world in microcosm and demonstrates that when self-interest is the only rule, things can go horribly wrong. A man named Rutledge has purchased the Balcony Stateroom package on the luxury cruise ship The Mariola. It's a round-the-world voyage that he's paid top dollar for. He is also an extravagant tipper, so he expects quality and doesn't mind voicing complaints when service or amenities don't measure up. Luckily for him, the crew member assigned to his suite, Raoul, is conscientious, efficient, and imperturbable--the perfect foil to Rutledge, whose barbed critiques hardly ruffle Raoul's ironically courteous and subservient demeanor. Everything seems to be progressing nicely as they cruise through the Caribbean. Then there is a mishap in Port Estaban. The crew and guests of the Mariola visiting the island are evacuated. Some, however, are left behind. The remaining crew compensate as best they can for these losses, but despite their best efforts things go from bad to worse. In the end Keith's tale turns grusome and harrowing. This is a remarkable and gripping novel by a writer who maintains absolute control over a narrative that could have turned slippery. Rutledge's voice is acerbic and witty, and the dynamic between him and Raoul is a delight. Be prepared though because this novel does not let the reader off easy.

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Not Being on a Boat - Esme Claire Keith

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